So...
Have you ever fantasized what you'd be/look like as the other sex?
And by 'other' I ofc mean the opposite of your gender identity ;D! Or if you're nb, both or whatever ;)!
So... if you weren't trans and a guy/girl/nb/whatever, have you ever thought about what you'd be like then? Can you even imagine this? This is also different imo to having endured as your birth sex through life - by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?
Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?
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Hmm, me, yes and no. I have thought about what I'd be like if I were a girl a few times. I even once saw a pic of a girl I thought I'd be/look like if I were female :D! Sort of feminine version of my style/looks. I've also wondered what kind of female I'd be like if I tried to be one. Would I be that mini skirt/high heels/long hair/hot & beautiful type - as looks are generally important to me (I mean mine) ;D? Or would I be a masculine woman, then? Other people would probably guess the latter, knowing me personally. But if I really were a woman, I'd like to be that hot woman then ;D! Though that kinda seems ridiculous coz I'm not like that at all...! And never were. But if, if I were a woman...!
I just know though I'd make a terrible job as a lady... ;D starting from the fact I always sit my legs wide apart...! (Even now.) It's starting to occur to me why the boys thought I was weird and didn't like me the way they liked the other girls when we were kids... ;D! There's a chance I oozed some guy vibes even when I tried very much to be a girl at one point (at 12). I also heard the other kids had thought I was a lesbian - which wasn't entirely inaccurate as I do like girls... ;D! Never identified as one though :P.
Honestly, it's hard for me to picture myself as a woman of any kind - it's so far away from what I am as a person. I think I'd be more feminine than masculine one though.
Not much. Spent all my time imagining myself looking like how I felt.
But I suppose if my life habits were to go on, I'd look like and take after Eva Green. I'd been compared to her in looks before.
I have thought about what I would look like as a guy. I would be a really sad excuse for a guy. Im small and I never developed facial hair or male musculature. The sad thing is that if I had been a CIS guy I would have had dysphoria and jealousy toward my brother. He is 6'4 and very jacked and very masculine looking. I'm totally grateful I didn't develop like he did but if I was a CIS guy I would have found the fact he was so big to be totally unfair and Im sure I would have been bitter and jealous. That's really weird to think about though. Lol
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 18, 2018, 07:58:01 AM
Im small and I never developed facial hair or male musculature. The sad thing is that if I had been a CIS guy I would have had dysphoria and jealousy toward my brother.
xDDD!
Got plenty of pictures from my life before, fairly unremarkable [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 18, 2018, 04:48:41 AM
. . . by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?
Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?
If born my identified gender surely I would have lived a totally different life, would certainly not be where I am at today which, despite all difficulties considered, I still wouldn't trade for a "do-over" ever! Now if I could re-start again, knowing what I know now, (like in "Groundhog Day") surely there are things I'd do differently but "regret" wouldn't be a large part of "the picture", there'd certainly be things I'd endeavor to keep the same.
Most importantly I wouldn't trade my accepting parents or family for anything! Suppose one could say I'm content "being transgendered"? Only took 40yrs to reach such a happy state of social confusion . . . "cherished dreams" being our best stock-in-trade!
Wolf your incessant "out there" questioning reminds me very much of "Nero (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=1238)" who was one of the best Admins here ever!! Since deceased many of us still think of him fondly.
Last Active: 12 July 2014, 21:55:14
Before I transitioned I desperately tried to find a way that I could "be a girl" so yeah, I've not just played with the thought, I played dress-up as well! Back then I was in my teens and the only way I could see myself at least somewhat comfortably as my birth sex during my denial period, was looking like the... erhm, I really don't want to say "sex worker stereotype" but I can't find any other words for how I and others saw it. I mean trashed pantyhose under very short skirts (and g-string panties under that, cause... nevermind), stuffed push-up bras under tight shirts that showed a lot of cleavage or cheap corsets, rough boots or high heels, long messy hair and heaps of makeup.
I wore that to school as my everyday-outfits and my parents said I looked like a prostitute. I agreed with them and continued on. In no way am or was I making fun of sex workers though, and I never intended it as a caricature. I admired them and thought they were brave and beautiful, but mostly I just really liked that look, and in some ways I still do. But it doesn't exactly agree or align with my male gender or how I see myself now. So I prefer not to anymore. But I still like that style on others. I sometimes jokingly called that style "trash goth" as in "white trash" but kinda goth as well, you know? No I had no class what so ever...
If I hadn't transitioned/been trans, I likely would have continued on that track. I don't know which celebrity to compare to, but maybe something like a mix between Dita von Teese and Emilie Autumn? Or if anyone's seen the movie "Fight Club" then a lot like the character Marla. I would likely still have changed hairstyle/colour often though. And still would have been into tattoos and piercings.
Quote from: SeptagonScars on April 10, 2018, 05:51:33 PM
Back then I was in my teens and the only way I could see myself at least somewhat comfortably as my birth sex during my denial period, was looking like the... erhm, I really don't want to say "sex worker stereotype" but I can't find any other words for how I and others saw it. I mean trashed pantyhose under very short skirts (and g-string panties under that, cause... nevermind), stuffed push-up bras under tight shirts that showed a lot of cleavage or cheap corsets, rough boots or high heels, long messy hair and heaps of makeup.
Oh, no me too ;D! Well - at least when I was like 13-14ish in some periods I tried very hard to be a girl. Haha, after dressing up in guy jeans and trying to hide my chest my family tried to push me back into being a girl. So, on one vacation at 14 I pretty much dressed up like that then :D! (I mean your description.) It was a mockery, really. But I looked weird and trashy. And then I became so depressed during that vac that I wanted to die. I still walked and stood in a manly way and look really pissed in those pics. I literally felt I was a man in drag. All the guys who whistled at me etc. I thought wish you only knew...! I felt I was a guy - in dress-up.
Funnily I had push-ups and cleavages before at around 12-13... though I really didn't get why the other girls shunned me for it. But I guess they thought I looked like a w**** lol. After that though I pretty soon evolved into wearing band Ts etc... I did wear fishnets and short skirts occasionally and 'punkish' clothes. But I acted male enough so everyone at my new school at 13 had thought I was a boy - until they saw me in a skirt!
Thus I've thought that had I been born cis and been actually comfortable being a girl and sort of feminine on some level - I might've been a sort of rockish/punkish type and still continue wearing those fishnets etc. But presenting in a feminine way and wear actual female clothes instead :D!
The problem was I was never a girl - or female - so I never even pretended to be feminine. I was just a guy in girl clothes and seemed trashy I guess. Dressing in female clothes + having a provacative makeup plus acting masculine doesn't come off that graceful :D!!! Even wearing skirts I used to sit my legs apart etc. as much as the skirt would allow!
I've been told I look like Seth green.
I've had bouts where I was in denial, and tried to butch up. As a guy I was good looking. I never was able to relate to others the right way in that role though. All the while being in boy mode I was plagued with thoughts of what if I was a girl. In tansition, I don't have these thoughts either way. I am me, thank goodness.
Bari Jo
Of course I did when I was a male, and I was one hot looking male. But I ended up looking much more beautiful than I imagined as a female. My latest pic on my forum profile at a Songkran party - Thai New Year- this evening
I just use faceapp to see what I'd look like 'dudeified'. I'll stick to being myself thanks lol. I am actually pretty handsome :P Something I never managed to get even remotely close to before. I prefer being pretty ^_^
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 18, 2018, 04:48:41 AM
So...
Have you ever fantasized what you'd be/look like as the other sex?
And by 'other' I ofc mean the opposite of your gender identity ;D! Or if you're nb, both or whatever ;)!
So... if you weren't trans and a guy/girl/nb/whatever, have you ever thought about what you'd be like then? Can you even imagine this? This is also different imo to having endured as your birth sex through life - by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?
Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?
---
Hmm, me, yes and no. I have thought about what I'd be like if I were a girl a few times. I even once saw a pic of a girl I thought I'd be/look like if I were female :D! Sort of feminine version of my style/looks. I've also wondered what kind of female I'd be like if I tried to be one. Would I be that mini skirt/high heels/long hair/hot & beautiful type - as looks are generally important to me (I mean mine) ;D? Or would I be a masculine woman, then? Other people would probably guess the latter, knowing me personally. But if I really were a woman, I'd like to be that hot woman then ;D! Though that kinda seems ridiculous coz I'm not like that at all...! And never were. But if, if I were a woman...!
I just know though I'd make a terrible job as a lady... ;D starting from the fact I always sit my legs wide apart...! (Even now.) It's starting to occur to me why the boys thought I was weird and didn't like me the way they liked the other girls when we were kids... ;D! There's a chance I oozed some guy vibes even when I tried very much to be a girl at one point (at 12). I also heard the other kids had thought I was a lesbian - which wasn't entirely inaccurate as I do like girls... ;D! Never identified as one though :P.
Honestly, it's hard for me to picture myself as a woman of any kind - it's so far away from what I am as a person. I think I'd be more feminine than masculine one though.
I wasn't necessarily the best looking guy around, but I was a bit of a dude. I don't want to fantasize about that, I am happy with being a woman ;)
Quote from: PurpleWolf on April 11, 2018, 09:42:30 PM
Oh, no me too ;D! Well - at least when I was like 13-14ish in some periods I tried very hard to be a girl. Haha, after dressing up in guy jeans and trying to hide my chest my family tried to push me back into being a girl. So, on one vacation at 14 I pretty much dressed up like that then :D! (I mean your description.) It was a mockery, really. But I looked weird and trashy. And then I became so depressed during that vac that I wanted to die. I still walked and stood in a manly way and look really pissed in those pics. I literally felt I was a man in drag. All the guys who whistled at me etc. I thought wish you only knew...! I felt I was a guy - in dress-up.
Funnily I had push-ups and cleavages before at around 12-13... though I really didn't get why the other girls shunned me for it. But I guess they thought I looked like a w**** lol. After that though I pretty soon evolved into wearing band Ts etc... I did wear fishnets and short skirts occasionally and 'punkish' clothes. But I acted male enough so everyone at my new school at 13 had thought I was a boy - until they saw me in a skirt!
Thus I've thought that had I been born cis and been actually comfortable being a girl and sort of feminine on some level - I might've been a sort of rockish/punkish type and still continue wearing those fishnets etc. But presenting in a feminine way and wear actual female clothes instead :D!
The problem was I was never a girl - or female - so I never even pretended to be feminine. I was just a guy in girl clothes and seemed trashy I guess. Dressing in female clothes + having a provacative makeup plus acting masculine doesn't come off that graceful :D!!! Even wearing skirts I used to sit my legs apart etc. as much as the skirt would allow!
I totally felt like I was a guy in drag as well when I dressed like that, but in some way I thought it was fun too, like I was playing dress-up or something. At age 12-13 I really didn't have enough on my chest to show cleavage! I had like AA-cup size back then (like A-cup was too big). So I didn't start wearing push-up bras until I was 15-16 when things had gotten bigger, and then stuck with that trashy style until I was 19, pretty much every day, but on some few days I wore pants and hoodies instead.
Back then was same as now, I have a mix of girly and manly ways of walking, sitting, standing, etc. I mostly sat/sit with my legs crossed or just straight down, I rarely spread my legs while sitting.
I never was a girl either, but I was most certainly feminine. I struggled so hard to figure out how I could even be trans cause I liked dresses, makeup, having long hair, etc, but felt so wrong with my birth sex. At age 16 I wrote in my diaries that I felt like "a girl who's actually a boy who wants to be a girl" so... I guess that sums up my confusion! I was pretty much a trans guy cross-dresser, so that's probably why I didn't really mind the girly clothes. I just didn't like my female body, but I tried to kind of "work with it" or something. And I also tried to "cure" myself of gender dysphoria with a heavy dose of femininity... didn't work!
I wasn't very graceful either, but it kinda went well with my attitude and trashy punk-goth style. People mostly thought I was inspirational and strong (like mentally strong, then), and perhaps sadly, said it was good that I was "being myself" cause I really wasn't myself.
This might sound odd, but I've thought that if I had been born a cis guy, chances are I would have thought I might be a trans woman in my teens... cause I was very feminine, into men, and confused about it all, I mean. But if I was a cis woman I think I would have been a lively yet nihilistic rock-goth girl, and very sexual and risk-taking. I think I would have been very proud of my body and completely shameless about it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but definitely some people's whiskey, kind of! ;D
Quote from: SeptagonScars on April 13, 2018, 02:47:25 AM
I totally felt like I was a guy in drag as well when I dressed like that, but in some way I thought it was fun too, like I was playing dress-up or something. At age 12-13 I really didn't have enough on my chest to show cleavage! I had like AA-cup size back then (like A-cup was too big). So I didn't start wearing push-up bras until I was 15-16 when things had gotten bigger, and then stuck with that trashy style until I was 19, pretty much every day, but on some few days I wore pants and hoodies instead.
Back then was same as now, I have a mix of girly and manly ways of walking, sitting, standing, etc. I mostly sat/sit with my legs crossed or just straight down, I rarely spread my legs while sitting.
I never was a girl either, but I was most certainly feminine. I struggled so hard to figure out how I could even be trans cause I liked dresses, makeup, having long hair, etc, but felt so wrong with my birth sex. At age 16 I wrote in my diaries that I felt like "a girl who's actually a boy who wants to be a girl" so... I guess that sums up my confusion! I was pretty much a trans guy cross-dresser, so that's probably why I didn't really mind the girly clothes. I just didn't like my female body, but I tried to kind of "work with it" or something. And I also tried to "cure" myself of gender dysphoria with a heavy dose of femininity... didn't work!
I wasn't very graceful either, but it kinda went well with my attitude and trashy punk-goth style. People mostly thought I was inspirational and strong (like mentally strong, then), and perhaps sadly, said it was good that I was "being myself" cause I really wasn't myself.
This might sound odd, but I've thought that if I had been born a cis guy, chances are I would have thought I might be a trans woman in my teens... cause I was very feminine, into men, and confused about it all, I mean. But if I was a cis woman I think I would have been a lively yet nihilistic rock-goth girl, and very sexual and risk-taking. I think I would have been very proud of my body and completely shameless about it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but definitely some people's whiskey, kind of! ;D
Haha, again I can relate so much :D!!!
Actually I was already B-cup when my mom forced me to have my first bra at 12... :P I once bought a red wool sweater that had a deep cleavage (around 12-13) - and the other girls were really talking trash about me and literally said I was a w**** to dress like that and desperate for guys' attention :P Well... it felt bad, especially bcos that wasn't what I had in mind at all. I just liked the color and the sweater (it had orangy threads in it too) and I really didn't think about that cleavage buying that. I guess I was very oblivious to things like that - like if I didn't have this chest I could wear low cut men's shirts for example now.
On the other hand I was pretty good at pretending to be a girl and could be very flirty and direct etc. - well it was easy bcos it was just a show and I literally felt I was acting. It felt just damn phony. I really felt empty inside - and at the same time sulky bcos literally felt I was a guy too, so felt weird about acting the 'girl' part while talking to guys.
And I was into makeup etc. too - and still am! So definitely been feeling like if I can be a guy/trans and still this way. I wasn't into corsets etc. 'female goth style' like long skirts etc... and though my overall presentation might be 'feminine' in a sense that I use eyeliner etc... and I don't have a buzzcut, I would never call myself feminine bcos that word just doesn't describe me at all. But all that has been confusing as well.
And I've definitely thought had I been born male I might've been a trans girl ;D! Many, many times. Especially bcos I'm into makeup and fashion and played with dolls as a kid etc. And I've heard the same from others too, so you're not the only one :). I think that comes from the confusion when you mix interests/likes with gender. I've also thought I might do drag :D - might be fun ;) - but seriously though I might not. But I'm open-minded so would def be up for it! But not as long as I look like this...!!!
Gender really does not have anything to do with interests or style.
I think people think it's okay for a cis guy to wear makeup and jewelry and earrings and nail polish - but when a trans guy does that, it suddenly becomes a discussion about gender. Plus I don't personally consider a 'rocker style' like that to be necessarily feminine - I view it more as masculine. But it's hard if you already have a female body, so having a long hair or nail polish can accentuate that image in people's minds. I just met a cis guy who had cool black nails with some decos on them - and thought to myself that I should paint my nails for a change too :)! I bought some shiny silver glittery one a while back... I'm really lazy in that I usually (never) bother to paint my nails - but been toning it down as well bcos I have an itchy feeling that that could make me appear more 'female' to other people. Same with makeup... I mostly use just eyeliner. But if I was cis or already on T and looking cis I wouldn't need to worry about things like that.
Well, when I was a kid I was really into this show called the Teen Titans, and I thought that Raven was like super cool. I told myself that if I could be a girl then I would be like her. Of course, I was only 12 at the time so please don't judge me lol. So yeah, I just really dug her personality, hairstyle, and just pretty much everything. I will say that it was this character that led me to be interested in Goth as a kid. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that actually, but we all start somewhere.
Heck yeah I imagined many times what it would be like to be a girl/woman. My musclewomen-com website and the Deviant Art site it leads to is chock full of art I did of so-called "muscle women". They are actually me in woman form.
I pretty much did the desert rat/Tank Girl thing, and was headed for the Steven Tyler look in my old age lol.
I never went through a hyperfem phase because I was always really uncomfortable with being attractive as a woman. The closest I got was a bit of the cyberpunk look and wearing leggings all the time with pushup bras, but I never showed cleavage or thigh, and my chest wasn't huge to begin with. Guys, I hear, found me attractive but because of my brazenly masc mannerisms, I was always too intimidating to approach.
Last year I did go through a casual sex phase leading up to me coming out, but that didn't really involve styling myself so much as forcing a hyperfeminine mental space. If I were cis, I'd probably just be more on the poly end of things instead of into casual hookups. As a dude, though, hookups seem much more appealing for the kind of sex I'm genuinely interested in having once I've started transitioning.
I dream about being the opposite sex, I also refer to myself (internally) as a male