So, against my mothers wishes, I'm going to start the process for hormones. She thinks I should wait to get them on the NHS, wish could take years of my life - I don't want to spend years if my life feeling this unhappy. She'll disagree with my decision to start them at this stage - I'm just starting to delve in make-up, I'm about to be referred to a gender clinic through the NHS, I've started laser therapy to get rid of facial hair. I feel like I'm ready to start hormones, I still feel like things aren't moving as fast as I would like them to, I've already fake out to everyone (and a few people at work), but things have slowed down since then.
So last night, I emailed GenderGP (who will provide me with time hormones) yesterday night (admittedly I was drunk, and in a bar full of beautiful women, I basically just couldn't take it anymore) asking to start the process to get hormones.
My question is, would I actually be able to take hormones without my mom noticing? Or have you taken hormones privately without telling your loved ones? We are close, we live together, but I've hidden taking antidepressants from her for 2 years, so I think I could do it. I don't think she'd kick me out for deciding to take hormones early, but I don't want to deal with her disapproval at my decision and her just thinking that I'm rushing into things, when she really has no idea what I'm going through
Your question isn't as bad as you think. A few years back when I was seeing a therapist about becoming a woman, she asked if I had said anything to my family to which I responded, no. She goes on to say that they will notice changes as time goes on. Sadly, at the time I didn't have a clue as to HRT and what it involved.
Speaking from my own experience and being less than 3 months on HRT, I have been changing. Some changes seem to be visible, some I think send a message to onlookers subliminal like smell and slight differences in body language.
I'm sure you won't be able to keep this a secret for long if you live under the same roof.
Also, please don't do the HRT without medical direction for your safety.
If she is around all the time the changes are slow and she will get used to them. Don't be in a big rush, the crush when everything catches up to you at a plateau will be unbearable.
Get to a counselor if your not there already. The emotional changes alone will show to most around you. Make sure you source your HRT thru a doctor and not off the internet. It nothing to fool around with. Breast growth will be permanent so you need to really be settled on moving forward( counseling) an example of that is I could no longer hide my C cup breasts. Your mom may decide you need to see a doctor for gyno correction which would be bad for you. HRT is no where near as easy to hide as other meds and are you legally old enough to make these choices. You will need family as allies during transitioning so you really need to make sure excluding mom is the right move.
Be careful and be safe
Well stated Donna!
Yours as well sis
Sinead,
Begin Medical transition is a most important decision to make about your life, and Hormones Replacement Therapy could effect your social life and body physically. I have seen many people decided to transition and later regret about it. So becareful and take your time to think about this decision.
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GenderGP is very good service Sinead and you will have a specialist to talk to before they prescribe you anything.
A fair warning though, through GenderGP is an expensive process so be careful not to get into financial trouble
Hello again Sinead
Obviously you have told me on another thread that you have registered (as have I) with GenderGP which is - to let others know - a private Transgender Service in the UK - and that you have had counselling. So if/when your counsellor agrees you are ready for hormones and I assume that has recently happened, then you will receive the hormones (as did I).
For the first 16 weeks we are on low dose hormones - your blood should be checked after 12 weeks - and therefore physical changes should only be gradual and generally only noticeable to the observant or to those in close proximity. Therefore your Mum may notice physical changes in the early days or you may be able to hide from her for a short period of time.
So you have time to reflect on this briefly after you start the hormones. However my advice would be to let your Mum know pretty soon as I feel relationships are usually better maintained by being open and honest.
If you are to start hormones soon, I wish you all the best on your journey and I hope you reach an amicable understanding with your mum.
Pamela