What is your relationship with your face and facial features?
Do you like your face? Has it changed a lot after HRT? Are you happy with the changes?
Do you have facial dysphoria? Do you wish your face were more masculine/feminine?
Do you think your face affects your passing? When do you experience dysphoria?
Have other people complimented your face or commented on it? Do you think you are judging your features more harshly than other people?
Have you had any surgeries or treatments on your face? Or do you plan to? Why? Have these helped?
Do you think you look strikingly different after being on HRT? Do you think you look more alien or just more you? Did you find it hard to see your face (that you've grown used to) changing...?
What do you think/feel when you see old and new pics of your face? Do you recognize yourself in the old photos or not anymore?
Is there something you liked about your 'old face' and wish that was still there? Or did you use to hate all your facial features before? Has this changed now?
Were you ever scared of the possible/inevitable changes...? (even a little bit? even if you were waiting for them?)
Is there something that surprised you in your facial changes after being on hormones you didn't expect?
When you now see yourself in the mirror, do you see an obvious man or a woman - or do you still find 'gender flaws'?
Do you now resemble more your famele/male relatives?
Is your face a big part of your identity as an individual? Do you feel like this more after being on hormones? Do you now see 'you' when you look in the mirror?
I think face is an interesting topic from a trans point of view - after all people have grown used to looking a certain way. Even if having dysphoria even about the face - your face changing might feel peculiar as face usually equals 'yourself', and must be a big part of everyone's identity as a person.
A lot of questions... no need to answer them all ofc!
This thread is also touching this topic:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231549.msg2059212.html#msg2059212
When did you start recognizing yourself in the mirror (on hormones)?
---
I have a weird relationship with mine. My face has been the one body part I have liked about myself! I used to think I'm not really myself from neck down so...! I generally do like my face - and it is a big part of my identity. I'm used to looking 'like this'. And I do generally think I'm not bad looking - even if my body sucks there's at least one thing I do like about my appearance!
BUT I do def have facial dysphoria! When I take selfies I like the ones I look 'guyish' in. I absolutely hate every pic I look like a girl in! When I see a pic like that (that tells me 'that there is a woman/girl') I cringe and feel like 'that's not me'. Seeing pics like that makes me uneasy and sad. I kinda expect to look like a guy in the face - so sometimes I'm very disappointed if it turns out I look like a girl in them. I get a feeling of 'damn, how is this possible?! I look like a damn girl...!' I'm happy that I'm able to look fairly masculine in pics (thank god!), but those 'woman shots' I really hate. It's like looking at someone else.
I generally like my face - but I do hate some feminine features. I think my chin is too small and should be more masculine. Same about my nose or some features that just make me look 'female' or 'feminine' but are hard to pinpoint at. I expect to see a masculine face - and when I don't.... :/
I'm expecting with T I will love my looks more & more when my face becomes masculine looking. I'm really looking forward to that! I'm fantasizing of the moment I will see that cis guy in the mirror :). That must feel absolutely great!
Hi Wolf,
I have trained myself into a peculiar habit. I keep a small mirror propped up on my desk at work. This little mirror is arranged so I have a good view of my face all day. Every time I notice my reflection in the mirror, I pause for a few seconds, look myself square in the eye and say quietly, "I love you, Miharu! I really love you!" Sometimes if I feel moved to, I'll pick up the mirror, hold it close to my face and stare into my pupil, all the while thinking to myself, " I love you, Miharu! "
I've been at this for a year or 2. As a result, I am incapable of passing a mirror anywhere at any time without looking at myself, if only for half a second, smiling and thinking, "I love you, Miharu!"
Consequently any time I notice my too prominent Adam's apple, or my heavy brow or prominent ethnic nose and feel a twinge of dismay, my immediate reflex is to look into my eye and think (you guessed it), "I love you!"
That is the relationship I have with my face.
Love,
Miharu
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on March 19, 2018, 04:23:12 PM
I have trained myself into a peculiar habit. I keep a small mirror propped up on my desk at work. This little mirror is arranged so I have a good view of my face all day. Every time I notice my reflection in the mirror, I pause for a few seconds, look myself square in the eye and say quietly, "I love you, Miharu! I really love you!" Sometimes if I feel moved to, I'll pick up the mirror, hold it close to my face and stare into my pupil, all the while thinking to myself, " I love you, Miharu! "
Sounds lovely! Wonderful habit :D
I tell myself encouraging things too while looking in a mirror :). When I'm looking at my reflection I don't think of how feminine/masculine I look that much. Though I sometimes wish I'd actually see that cis guy looking back or wonder what I'll look like on T. But looking at pics can feel weird if I don't recognize myself in them or look visibly female.
Keep the self-love going :D! Btw the more I look like myself in general, the more I'm unable to pass by a mirror without looking in it! Before I used to hate mirrors and wouldn't like to see my reflection even in a shop window. I used to avoid mirros all my life.
QuoteWhat is your relationship with your face and facial features?
We like to avoid each other.
QuoteDo you like your face? Has it changed a lot after HRT? Are you happy with the changes?
No, I don't like it. I don't hate it - could be a hell of a lot worse. It just feels like I can't get a read on it. Like it's someone else's.
QuoteDo you have facial dysphoria? Do you wish your face were more masculine/feminine?
Yeah. I would prefer sharper, larger features.
QuoteDo you think your face affects your passing? When do you experience dysphoria?
Considering nobody can hide their face easily from everyone, it absolutely affects your passing unless you're androgynous to begin with. I only get dysphoria when I look at it myself though. Other people never mention it. Literally no man or woman has ever said about it that it was beautiful or ugly. It's never brought up.
QuoteHave other people complimented your face or commented on it? Do you think you are judging your features more harshly than other people?
Nope. People don't seem to react to it. I do though - I know for example I need a bit of internal minor jaw surgery to correct an issue from childhood - but nobody else seems aware of the problem, or seems to care, or if they do they still haven't pulled me up on it. but I can see the flaws and problems and the things that will never look the way I'd like, and I think it goes a bit beyond any sense of vanity and more into the "I want to look as normal as possible" territory.
QuoteHave you had any surgeries or treatments on your face? Or do you plan to? Why? Have these helped?
Aside from the jaw surgery, no, I don't plan on having any plastic surgery.
QuoteDo you think you look strikingly different after being on HRT? Do you think you look more alien or just more you? Did you find it hard to see your face (that you've grown used to) changing...?
Not really. I look a bit more gaunt in the face, obviously. And with the facial hair if I happen to have any, I do look markedly different at a glance but I can see the same face when I look at it. But like I say, it's a face I've always had trouble getting a read on.
QuoteWhat do you think/feel when you see old and new pics of your face? Do you recognize yourself in the old photos or not anymore?
Oh yeah, I see myself, but I also see something that looks more acceptable to me.
QuoteIs there something you liked about your 'old face' and wish that was still there? Or did you use to hate all your facial features before? Has this changed now?
No...
QuoteWere you ever scared of the possible/inevitable changes...? (even a little bit? even if you were waiting for them?)
No, because I never did think HRT would do much for it or that it would be any sort of drastic difference.
QuoteIs there something that surprised you in your facial changes after being on hormones you didn't expect?
I didn't expect it to be uncomfortable to rest my chin on my hands. Now I know why men don't do it that much.
QuoteWhen you now see yourself in the mirror, do you see an obvious man or a woman - or do you still find 'gender flaws'?
It's a guy in the mirror. But I know his dirty secrets, lol. The longer I deal with it, the easier it becomes to forget about the "gender flaws"... I think you have to learn to accept your new look, just like with all the other things in transition.
QuoteDo you now resemble more your female/male relatives?
I look a little bit like my bio dad if I try to grow out some terrible 70s hair and don't shave for two weeks. But I try to avoid that look. I don't resemble any of my female relatives.
QuoteIs your face a big part of your identity as an individual? Do you feel like this more after being on hormones? Do you now see 'you' when you look in the mirror?
I'm one of those people with an expressive/eyes face, apparently. Even my RBF gets people going. I tone down my facial movements and keep it poker so they can't get a read on what I'm thinking. Not sure but I think it's easier to do on T as you feel less bothered about accommodating other people's feelings all the time. I see "me" in the mirror but I don't wonder if "me" will always look a bit odd compared to what's in the mind's eye.
QuoteI think face is an interesting topic from a trans point of view - after all people have grown used to looking a certain way. Even if having dysphoria even about the face - your face changing might feel peculiar as face usually equals 'yourself', and must be a big part of everyone's identity as a person.
MTFs have more potential leeway with the face and making it look how they want. We don't have as much in mainstream view, apart from growing facial hair/hairstyle which I guess can have dramatic results. If you don't though, I think the changes aren't that drastic except in the jawline and overall fat loss on the face.
While familiar and somewhat attractive in my man suit. I avoid my face. My dysphoria has been in overdrive the last few months and I just don't want to see myself in my man suit. It is causing some anxiety and slight depression. I wish I could go back to before the gender bomb went off but I just can't. It will be a long road before I can look at myself and feel right. I'm trying the best to not be unhappy.
I like my face for the most part. It has flaws like anyone else...but it's mine. It has changed on HRT, but not dramatically. The changes were subtle, but important.
My facial dysphoria is much improved. Like I said, I have flaws, but I think my face passes very well at this stage and I feel very blessed. My insecurities are more rooted in other things...non-gender related. Why can't I have blue eyes?
People compliment it every day, I'm a model. And no, I think I'm pretty realistic about what I look like—good or bad.
I had a nose job, because it was sorely needed, and fat graft to the cheeks and lips. Still recovering from these but I'm feeling really good about my results thus far.
I think makeup made a bigger difference than hormones before my surgery, but hormones made an important—if subtle—impact on my face.
I feel like...that was me in another life. One I wasn't very happy in. One that feels like it was a million years ago.
I didn't lose anything I liked. I kept everything I liked about my face and lost the majority of what I didn't like—AND gained new stuff that I love!
Never scared of the changes.
Can't think of a single negative change from hormones.
Obvious woman. I still find flaws but they aren't that gendered, and if they are, only subtly and certainly not out of the range of what's normal for a woman.
I honestly look less like both my parents now than before surgery. I still lean more towards my mom and always did. I don't really look much like my family and never did.
The face is a huge part of anyone's identity.
Before I started on HRT, I didn't really think anything of my face. It was just there.
Then, one day about three months into HRT, I was putting on lipstick (not something I do every day), and suddenly realized that those were female lips! Since then, my eyes have feminized quite a bit, and maybe my cheeks.
So now, when I see myself in the mirror, I think "That girl has some masculine features in her face, but she's definitely a girl." I'm never going to be the prettiest pea in the pod, but I like the way my face looks.
My wife notices the change too. I find her staring at me in the car. I'll ask her what she's staring at, and she just says "It's amazing."
I beat my face then, and now 6 months on hrt.. I still have to beat my face [emoji17] someday I'll be able to afford (intensive/extensive) ffs and then I can move on with my average life finally [emoji16]
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Im starting to become more comfortable with my features. I've always had self confidence issues and still do. People tell me Im pretty and even beautiful but I still don't see it myself. I still see a million flaws but people telling me I look good leads me to believe I can't be too hideous so I am more comfortable with my appearance than I used to be. Hrt made my features more feminine but the effect wasn't really that drastic. I didn't look that different before hrt. The changes to my body were much more noticeable than the changes to my face.
When I look in the mirror now yes I see what I perceive as masculine characteristics. I don't think there will ever be a time when Im totally happy with how I look. I don't really look much like any of my relatives. My being albino kind of makes any similarities to relatives less noticeable. When Im in public with Tyler people are surprised to find out we are brother and sister. Usually they assume we are a couple. I've noticed women checking him out and then giving me the stink eye. Lol.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 12:13:50 PM
When Im in public with Tyler people are surprised to find out we are brother and sister. Usually they assume we are a couple. I've noticed women checking him out and then giving me the stink eye. Lol.
Oh god :D! And when you're out with Tristan?! Even worse ;D?
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 12:18:02 PM
Oh god :D! And when you're out with Tristan?! Even worse ;D?
Depending on how Tristan is dressed it is worse. Like in summer if he's wearing a tank top and his arms are showing he gets all kinds of female attention which I really hate! Its even worse if he has his shirt off.😤
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 01:38:05 PM
Depending on how Tristan is dressed it is worse. Like in summer if he's wearing a tank top and his arms are showing he gets all kinds of female attention which I really hate! Its even worse if he has his shirt off.
Well you can take all that attention as a compliment, right? After all he's with you, not with them, ha-ha!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 01:40:07 PM
Well you can take all that attention as a compliment, right? After all he's with you, not with them, ha-ha!
That's true I guess. But I still don't like it. Lol
I just had my sister's friend tell me I'm handsome LOL meanwhile I'm sitting here with my huge cheek bones, soft skin, eyebrows tweezed to an inch of my life and hair parted like a girl [emoji23][emoji23] but she's conservative and really stuck to the binary. Or maybe I am still masculine... ugh I'm confused
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Quote from: Allison S on March 20, 2018, 03:18:23 PM
I just had my sister's friend tell me I'm handsome LOL meanwhile I'm sitting here with my huge cheek bones, soft skin, eyebrows tweezed to an inch of my life and hair parted like a girl [emoji23][emoji23] but she's conservative and really stuck to the binary. Or maybe I am still masculine... ugh I'm confused
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There's another explanation. Maybe she thought you were pretty but worried about offending you by saying pretty and used "handsome" instead. That happened to me a couple of times before I transitioned. A girl my brother was dating once told me I was handsome. I had on makeup and everything. Tyler asked her if she really thought I was handsome and she told him no, that she thought I was pretty actually but was afraid of offending me by saying that. Lol.
Well, my mug has never really been masculine to begin with. Not entirely gurly either but for lack of a better description, kinda Leonardo Dicaprio lol.
Heck, I really didn't start shaving until I was 19 or 20 and I had been in the Marines 2 years by then. Voice did change from soprano and working on it getting higher now.
And I do like my brows waxed or threaded but have been doing self-maintenance on those sneaking little white ones and trimming every couple of weeks.
Quote from: SashaHyde on March 19, 2018, 10:20:55 PM
While familiar and somewhat attractive in my man suit. I avoid my face. My dysphoria has been in overdrive the last few months and I just don't want to see myself in my man suit. It is causing some anxiety and slight depression. I wish I could go back to before the gender bomb went off but I just can't. It will be a long road before I can look at myself and feel right. I'm trying the best to not be unhappy.
All my career life I was in either a uniform or suit. It's so nice to be retired. Heck, I rarely look in the mirror except to see how the twin sisters are doing and if my aerolas are getting larger., lol.
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on March 19, 2018, 04:23:12 PM
Hi Wolf,
I have trained myself into a peculiar habit. I keep a small mirror propped up on my desk at work. This little mirror is arranged so I have a good view of my face all day. Every time I notice my reflection in the mirror, I pause for a few seconds, look myself square in the eye and say quietly, "I love you, Miharu! I really love you!" Sometimes if I feel moved to, I'll pick up the mirror, hold it close to my face and stare into my pupil, all the while thinking to myself, " I love you, Miharu! "
I've been at this for a year or 2. As a result, I am incapable of passing a mirror anywhere at any time without looking at myself, if only for half a second, smiling and thinking, "I love you, Miharu!"
Consequently any time I notice my too prominent Adam's apple, or my heavy brow or prominent ethnic nose and feel a twinge of dismay, my immediate reflex is to look into my eye and think (you guessed it), "I love you!"
That is the relationship I have with my face.
Love,
Miharu
Big Foot loves you too!!!!!!
And so do we all!
I hate mine. Makes me sick to even think about it. Just being honest. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 04:33:36 PM
Well, my mug has never really been masculine to begin with. Not entirely gurly either but for lack of a better description, kinda Leonardo Dicaprio lol.
Heck, I really didn't start shaving until I was 19 or 20 and I had been in the Marines 2 years by then. Voice did change from soprano and working on it getting higher now.
And I do like my brows waxed or threaded but have been doing self-maintenance on those sneaking little white ones and trimming every couple of weeks.
I think you look quite feminine in your picture. I don't see anything masculine at all.
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 04:39:52 PM
I hate mine. Makes me sick to even think about it. Just being honest. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Your avatar picture is really pretty.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 04:40:51 PM
Your avatar picture is really pretty.
Thank you Julia. I still see the "guy in the mirror." I see through the makeup and hate it.
I'm working on it though.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 04:50:47 PM
Thank you Julia. I still see the "guy in the mirror." I see through the makeup and hate it.
I'm working on it though.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chels, your still a 13 day old baby. I'm definitely seeing changes, not as quick as I would like (like starting today and having it yesterday) but the change is happening. I sometimes get great single instances of enlightenment like - good thing it's taking time because if it happened overnight I'd probably go crazy, type of things :)
My previous avatar pic was taken right before I believe I began HRT and was FaceApp'd. The only thing that was used to enhance the current one was a little make-up and running all over taking selfies in the right light.
Sadly, there's no pill for patience that I'm aware of :(
Chelsea, I agree! You are very beautiful!
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 04:06:45 PM
There's another explanation. Maybe she thought you were pretty but worried about offending you by saying pretty and used "handsome" instead. That happened to me a couple of times before I transitioned. A girl my brother was dating once told me I was handsome. I had on makeup and everything. Tyler asked her if she really thought I was handsome and she told him no, that she thought I was pretty actually but was afraid of offending me by saying that. Lol.
My other sister who knows I'm transitioning was confused about what she said to me. She was like "Henry? Harry? Huh? did she think you were someone else?" I was like, apparently she thinks I'm handsome.. I just wanted to leave at that point
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Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 04:50:47 PM
Thank you Julia. I still see the "guy in the mirror." I see through the makeup and hate it.
I'm working on it though.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I know exactly what you mean! But I've learned to believe others when they tell me Im pretty. I can't see it myself but its nice to know others consider me pretty.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 05:18:26 PM
I know exactly what you mean! But I've learned to believe others when they tell me Im pretty. I can't see it myself but its nice to know others consider me pretty.
How can you not see it?!! Are you sure you don't have bad eyesight after all...?
Do you have a mirror?
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 07:29:14 PM
How can you not see it?!! Are you sure you don't have bad eyesight after all...?
Do you have a mirror?
Wolfy! Don't get Julia's laser eyes pointed at you or you're in trouble. She's awesome and she knows it because we all tell her da truth.
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 04:53:02 PM
Chels, your still a 13 day old baby. I'm definitely seeing changes, not as quick as I would like (like starting today and having it yesterday) but the change is happening. I sometimes get great single instances of enlightenment like - good thing it's taking time because if it happened overnight I'd probably go crazy, type of things :)
My previous avatar pic was taken right before I believe I began HRT and was FaceApp'd. The only thing that was used to enhance the current one was a little make-up and running all over taking selfies in the right light.
Sadly, there's no pill for patience that I'm aware of :(
I know I have no patience with this. I get so upset with myself for not starting this years ago.
Where is this faceapp thing everyone is talking about? I looked on the store on my phone and could not find it.
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 20, 2018, 04:55:44 PM
Chelsea, I agree! You are very beautiful!
Thank you! :)
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 08:51:37 PM
I know I have no patience with this. I get so upset with myself for not starting this years ago.
Where is this faceapp thing everyone is talking about? I looked on the store on my phone and could not find it.
Thank you! :)
FaceApp.com also, Voice Pitch Analyzer is great too.
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 08:58:42 PM
FaceApp.com also, Voice Pitch Analyzer is great too.
Thank you Cassi. It is amazing what you can do with a App these days. There is a app for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 08:58:42 PM
FaceApp.com also, Voice Pitch Analyzer is great too.
Just tried the voice app lol (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180321/a49d6a3da0a69c8e479f4598130b82d4.jpg)
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Quote from: Allison S on March 20, 2018, 10:03:35 PM
Just tried the voice app lol (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180321/a49d6a3da0a69c8e479f4598130b82d4.jpg)
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Wow thats awsome. I'm still at 122hz :laugh:
Chelsea
Quote from: Allison S on March 20, 2018, 10:03:35 PM
Just tried the voice app lol (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180321/a49d6a3da0a69c8e479f4598130b82d4.jpg)
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Wow, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous. It gets to the female zone every so often.
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 09:33:33 PM
Thank you Cassi. It is amazing what you can do with a App these days. There is a app for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I even saw an app on the Carbonaro Effect that cleaned :)
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 10:50:15 PM
I even saw an app on the Carbonaro Effect that cleaned :)
I need that app. I have a roomba but it only vacuums. And it doesn't really do a very good job.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 20, 2018, 11:04:01 PM
I need that app. I have a roomba but it only vacuums. And it doesn't really do a very good job.
I get a kick out of that show.
Quote from: Cassi on March 21, 2018, 12:41:08 AM
I get a kick out of that show.
Show? Roomba is a robotic vacuum cleaner. Though the cat watches it like its a show. I have to watch the dog while its running or she attacks it. It's not very durable so Im sure she could probably tear it up like a chew toy. My dog is a little psycho. She attacks my Kirby vacuum which could suck all 12 pounds of her right up. Lol.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 21, 2018, 01:14:17 AM
Show? Roomba is a robotic vacuum cleaner. Though the cat watches it like its a show. I have to watch the dog while its running or she attacks it. It's not very durable so Im sure she could probably tear it up like a chew toy. My dog is a little psycho. She attacks my Kirby vacuum which could suck all 12 pounds of her right up. Lol.
The Carbonaro Effect is a hidden camera magic tv show. He sets up things on unsuspecting people. In one, his cellphone was turned into a vacuum cleaner. And in another he a a robotic vacuum cleaner that picked up dirt with no electricity because it was powered by lizards.
Quote from: Cassi on March 21, 2018, 01:23:51 AM
The Carbonaro Effect is a hidden camera magic tv show. He sets up things on unsuspecting people. In one, his cellphone was turned into a vacuum cleaner. And in another he a a robotic vacuum cleaner that picked up dirt with no electricity because it was powered by lizards.
Are you sure its not the CASSI effect? I can easily picture you pulling jokes like that on unsuspecting people. Lol.😂😂
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 21, 2018, 02:04:11 AM
Are you sure its not the CASSI effect? I can easily picture you pulling jokes like that on unsuspecting people. Lol.😂😂
Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I've never been happy with my face, at least not until a few months ago when I started really seeing a woman hiding in there. Now it really doesn't bother me much (usually). I wouldn't mind getting my nose and protruding forehead reduced - I really don't like my sunken eyes. Of course, I can't hardly bear to look at myself on the days I have to grow out the hair for electrolysis.
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 20, 2018, 10:17:45 PM
Wow thats awsome. I'm still at 122hz :laugh:
Chelsea
Been meaning to check that app out for a while too on my other phone, been a while since I looked at my voice pitch
(https://i.imgur.com/u6Bx4GM.jpg)
T works for you, wow!
As for my face and I, it's a pretty good one. I don't hate it any more, though there was a time...
Despite getting along pretty well I still told a doc "Take a grinder to this, that, and along here, then tug on this part and for the love of god don't screw this up!"
if it were socially acceptable to wear a paper bag over my head at all times, I would. I have been fighting the temptation to take a knife to my face for years.
Quote from: Kylo on March 22, 2018, 07:08:03 AM
Been meaning to check that app out for a while too on my other phone, been a while since I looked at my voice pitch
(https://i.imgur.com/u6Bx4GM.jpg)
Wow I couldn't even get to that even if I tried! And I went through all male puberty plus some lol
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I've always focused on my face because at 6'4" 220 lbs there is no other way I fit in. I like my face in makeup. Always have. Even now at 66, I still see my face as gorgeous. With my finally long hair which I have scheduled to be cut next week. Maybe I'm twisted but I certainly do not see an ugly person looking back at me. I love new clothes, which can be expensive. There is one shop on the internet where I wish I could get locked inside and try everything on. I can now fit a size 16 a few years ago it was 24. Part of the reason I appreciate my face these days is because until I was about 25 I had raging zits. While the pock marks still show the makeup does a pretty good job of covering them up. No my face is not the source of my dysphoria. My concern is a little south.
I felt the same way before HRT. It's just the way it is. HRT will definitely change your face - I have met no transmen who were on HRT and had no change.
As a "girl" I had inherited my fathers' features and not happy about it, but those exact features are really working now. However, you know - your relationship with your face isn't just gender, it's age too among other things - emotions are eventually written on your skin.
Transitioning has accentuated some of the lines, especially forehead lines ("deep thought" lines), but I am cool with it - and although being pretty is frequently on a woman's mind (judging from my own experience), the importance of it kind of fades.
Quote from: Allison S on March 24, 2018, 05:08:19 PM
Wow I couldn't even get to that even if I tried! And I went through all male puberty plus some lol
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I hope I'm using the app correctly. I read out the passage of writing it gave to the end, anyway.
Quote from: Kylo on March 24, 2018, 09:55:41 PM
I hope I'm using the app correctly. I read out the passage of writing it gave to the end, anyway.
So, in reading the passage did Dorian Grey get the girl? Kidding.
It's a pretty good app. I think Laurie turned me on to it and I even showed it to my speech therapist and she was impressed with both the recording as well as the way it keeps track of your progress.
I will usually ignore the reading and either sing or just talk.
I've told myself and have been told I look like my brother. My face is a bit on the long, angular side and I have thick eyebrows and plenty of stubble. I'm very much masculine in features that I forgot what I've looked like before.
Its so normal I don't think of it anymore, it's just my face, a nice attractive face.
This is a very great question/post.
I was just talking with a (cis-male) co-worker about possible FFS, which I currently don't think about ever doing. (money and pain)
I do have different feelings about my face, depending on my mood, and also greatly depending on how a particular picture looks. When I look in the mirror however, I am much happier with what I see, although there are still a lot of masculine features. Since 2003 or so I only have 4 facial pictures (passport and business headshot) of myself. After coming out and transitioning I probably have 4 pictures per hour. :)
I am not currently using make up to hide masculine features and bring out more feminine looks because I am doing electrolysis every Wednesday, and don't want to have possible skin issues.
Most of the time I am okay with my looks, but for example at work, where of course I am 100% out, I am holding back on my femininity a little. At home I have two 11x14 headshot portraits framed in a 16x20 frame displayed on top and next to my 55 inch TV, with a portrait on my mom and me in between. Every time I go to sleep or feel a little down, I look at these and feel much better. One of the two portraits is my avatar here.
Mood, looks and how I see my face are directly related to one and another. What also helps me a lot is when I am shopping or somewhere out and about, and I hear people referring to me as a lady. (or woman, female pronounce etc.)
I think 80% of the time I feel okay about my face. (that's without makeup)
Quote from: Cassi on March 24, 2018, 10:03:21 PM
So, in reading the passage did Dorian Grey get the girl? Kidding.
I think he got the artist on his lawn.
I used to hate the mirror. I tried to be the best wife and mom in the world while being deep in denial. My image in my head did not match my looks. I looked like a drag queen if I tried makeup or long hair.
Today I accept myself for who I am. My dysphoria is not about my face. It's about my gigantic chest.
I took two pics of me now on my balcony. Different angles. I am pretty happy about myself atm. I am pre T. I am excited to see what T can do to me. Maybe I'll get a beard. I'd like that.
https://imgur.com/a/6Biuy
Tony
Quote from: MeTony on March 25, 2018, 08:58:21 AM
I used to hate the mirror. I tried to be the best wife and mom in the world while being deep in denial. My image in my head did not match my looks. I looked like a drag queen if I tried makeup or long hair.
Today I accept myself for who I am. My dysphoria is not about my face. It's about my gigantic chest.
I took two pics of me now on my balcony. Different angles. I am pretty happy about myself atm. I am pre T. I am excited to see what T can do to me. Maybe I'll get a beard. I'd like that.
https://imgur.com/a/6Biuy
Tony
Even without a beard you're quite passable. If I saw you in public I would definitely think you were a guy. And you're pre T. I think after T you will be 110% passable .
I have an add-on... :P
I just had a new passport shot taken - and I absolutely hate that pic! I just don't feel comfortable looking at it. And now it's gonna be on my IDs so have to show it to everyone - cringe x(! Well I bet pretty much everyone hates theirs... but somehow that just doesn't look like 'me'!
I'm thinking maybe I'm expecting to see a pic of an actual guy with beard and all? Like a pic of a cis guy I see in my head with my mind's eye...? I hate it when I look 'mtf' - that's my term for when I look sort of in-between... Obviously I don't look that feminine as I'm masculine in general, so I don't think I look like a woman per se. But then I don't look like a man either...! Just weirdish. It's because I use eyeliner etc. so sometimes I think I look like mtf early on in transition!
I'm not sure if others are able to see what I'm seeing in it! But it feels almost like a fake. I just have an uneasy feeling looking at that. Like it's hard to tell what gender I am.
The mtf feeling is hard to describe and not sure if others see my pics like that - but I'm not able to see a 'female' in my pics so I just see guy/male who's on HRT and on estrogen to become a woman and the makeup kinda accentuates that :P. I especially hate the pics I look 'mtf' in!!! When I don't look like a girl even, but like something uneasy/weird... [And note: this in no way has to do anything with real mtfs/trans women! Just my way of describing to myself what's that weird ->-bleeped-<- I'm seeing...]
Aargh looking at that passport pic is driving me crazy!!! It just makes me feel like something is missing, like a beard or... I hope others are unable to see what I'm seeing when they check my ID... x(((
I don't look like myself in my driver's license. It is 7 years old. I always bring my work ID with me. It's 2 years old. The police looked at me and my driver's license three times before he accepted it was me and not stolen. LOL
I take it with ease. I think it is funny I don't look like myself at all.
Tony
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 25, 2018, 09:18:40 AM
I have an add-on... :P
I just had a new passport shot taken - and I absolutely hate that pic! I just don't feel comfortable looking at it. And now it's gonna be on my IDs so have to show it to everyone - cringe x(! Well I bet pretty much everyone hates theirs... but somehow that just doesn't look like 'me'!
I'm thinking maybe I'm expecting to see a pic of an actual guy with beard and all? Like a pic of a cis guy I see in my head with my mind's eye...? I hate it when I look 'mtf' - that's my term for when I look sort of in-between... Obviously I don't look that feminine as I'm masculine in general, so I don't think I look like a woman per se. But then I don't look like a man either...! Just weirdish. It's because I use eyeliner etc. so sometimes I think I look like mtf early on in transition!
I'm not sure if others are able to see what I'm seeing in it! But it feels almost like a fake. I just have an uneasy feeling looking at that. Like it's hard to tell what gender I am.
The mtf feeling is hard to describe and not sure if others see my pics like that - but I'm not able to see a 'female' in my pics so I just see guy/male who's on HRT and on estrogen to become a woman and the makeup kinda accentuates that :P. I especially hate the pics I look 'mtf' in!!! When I don't look like a girl even, but like something uneasy/weird... [And note: this in no way has to do anything with real mtfs/trans women! Just my way of describing to myself what's that weird ->-bleeped-<- I'm seeing...]
Aargh looking at that passport pic is driving me crazy!!! It just makes me feel like something is missing, like a beard or... I hope others are unable to see what I'm seeing when they check my ID... x(((
You have my total sympathy Mr. Wolf. I totally hate my drivers license picture! It's a total tragedy! It looks like my face was put on hot and it ran! I totally hate it. I try to avoid showing my ID if at all possible.
Pics like that passport make me think 'what am I doing?' 'who am I trying to fool here?!' I really don't look like a guy. I just look like an ugly woman(?) !
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 25, 2018, 09:23:48 AM
You have my total sympathy Mr. Wolf. I totally hate my drivers license picture! It's a total tragedy! It looks like my face was put on hot and it ran! I totally hate it. I try to avoid showing my ID if at all possible.
Julia, I highly doubt that ;D! I highly doubt you are able to look bad in any pic...
I just take a pic. I never redo it. Some pics I look wierd in but I don't care.
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 25, 2018, 09:24:00 AM
Pics like that passport make me think 'what am I doing?' 'who am I trying to fool here?!' I really don't look like a guy. I just look like an ugly woman(?) !
Ok, you're not ugly in any way. I think you have a masculine look but it's not at all ugly. Don't be so hard on yourself. And you're not trying to "fool" anyone. The fact is you're a guy and it is as simple as that. As for what other people see when they look at your picture, I seriously doubt anyone sees someone the same way that person sees themself.
God, that passport pic is destroying my self-esteem xD!
I was almost over it till I checked this thread again and started looking at it again.... :P
It's making me feel so so uncomfortable! Like - 'do I really look like this to other people?!!' or something of the sorts :P
It really doesn't correspond to the mental image I have of myself as a person!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 25, 2018, 09:25:01 AM
Julia, I highly doubt that ;D! I highly doubt you are able to look bad in any pic...
You're too sweet Mr.Wolf.😊
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 25, 2018, 09:30:25 AM
Ok, you're not ugly in any way. I think you have a masculine look but it's not at all ugly. Don't be so hard on yourself. And you're not trying to "fool" anyone. The fact is you're a guy and it is as simple as that. As for what other people see when they look at your picture, I seriously doubt anyone sees someone the same way that person sees themself.
Thanks, Julia :)
Though you haven't seen that pic xD! And never will!
I'm hoping I will look better in the next one once I'm on T... Maybe I stop looking that cringingly weird.
On the plus side passport and drivers pics are small, everyone looks like a rapist mugshot in them, and nobody pays them much attention except ourselves.
Quote from: Kylo on March 25, 2018, 09:34:33 AM
On the plus side passport and drivers pics are small, everyone looks like a rapist mugshot in them, and nobody pays them much attention except ourselves.
Rapist mugshot?! lol ;D
Quote from: Kylo on March 25, 2018, 09:34:33 AM
On the plus side passport and drivers pics are small, everyone looks like a rapist mugshot in them, and nobody pays them much attention except ourselves.
Rapist mugshot! Lol.😂😂
I don't think I've met anyone who liked their passport photo...
I think the things that I feel uncomfortable about my face are things i usually like on other guys. Like big eyes, and a strong nose. But it's like they look right on other people but not on me.
Quote from: Julia1996 on March 25, 2018, 09:36:45 AM
Rapist mugshot! Lol.
Haha, Julia you read my mind!
Yeah, well... let's hope I won't have to show that too often. And the people who see it are just gonna check if I'm recognizable (don't want to say 'if I look like in that pic'). It's a hideous pic no denying that ;D! But maybe others won't see it that way - just as a boring passport pic like any other.
I've been meaning to go to the Nevada Drivers License place and trade in my Texas one for Nevada. I have to do it before my birthday as regular licenses are 8 years but 65 and older 4 years. My picture on the new license, hummmm may prove interesting.
Quote from: Peep on March 25, 2018, 09:43:35 AM
I don't think I've met anyone who liked their passport photo...
As a photographer I can assure you are correct. I usually tell my clients "when you renew in 10 years, you look back at this picture and say: wow I looked good then." :)
Quote from: epvanbeveren on March 26, 2018, 01:50:03 AM
As a photographer I can assure you are correct. I usually tell my clients "when you renew in 10 years, you look back at this picture and say: wow I looked good then." :)
Hey that's almost cruel :D!
I usually look at old pictures and think "why did i think that haircut was a good idea"
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 26, 2018, 06:17:24 AM
Hey that's almost cruel :D!
Oops didn't think about that one. All my clients are CIS gender.
:o :o :o sorry :o :o :o
Quote from: epvanbeveren on March 26, 2018, 08:40:08 AM
Oops didn't think about that one. All my clients are CIS gender.
:o :o :o sorry :o :o :o
Vanity Is a Key to good salesman or saleswomanship :)
Quote from: epvanbeveren on March 26, 2018, 08:40:08 AM
Oops didn't think about that one. All my clients are CIS gender.
:o :o :o sorry :o :o :o
Hey didn't mean it that way :D! Just generally - I mean no one wants to get old or worse looking right :D! And to look back at their used-to-be-hideous passport pic and acknowledge, 'well I guess I didn't look that bad in it back then after all' :D
Quote from: Peep on March 26, 2018, 06:46:02 AM
I usually look at old pictures and think "why did i think that haircut was a good idea"
Yeah, who doesn't ;D!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 26, 2018, 03:31:54 PM
Yeah, who doesn't ;D!
Easy for you all! You have hair :(
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 19, 2018, 03:32:53 PM
What is your relationship with your face and facial features?
Do you like your face? Has it changed a lot after HRT? Are you happy with the changes?
Do you have facial dysphoria? Do you wish your face were more masculine/feminine?
Do you think your face affects your passing? When do you experience dysphoria?
Have other people complimented your face or commented on it? Do you think you are judging your features more harshly than other people?
Have you had any surgeries or treatments on your face? Or do you plan to? Why? Have these helped?
Do you think you look strikingly different after being on HRT? Do you think you look more alien or just more you? Did you find it hard to see your face (that you've grown used to) changing...?
What do you think/feel when you see old and new pics of your face? Do you recognize yourself in the old photos or not anymore?
Is there something you liked about your 'old face' and wish that was still there? Or did you use to hate all your facial features before? Has this changed now?
Were you ever scared of the possible/inevitable changes...? (even a little bit? even if you were waiting for them?)
Is there something that surprised you in your facial changes after being on hormones you didn't expect?
When you now see yourself in the mirror, do you see an obvious man or a woman - or do you still find 'gender flaws'?
Do you now resemble more your famele/male relatives?
Is your face a big part of your identity as an individual? Do you feel like this more after being on hormones? Do you now see 'you' when you look in the mirror?
I think face is an interesting topic from a trans point of view - after all people have grown used to looking a certain way. Even if having dysphoria even about the face - your face changing might feel peculiar as face usually equals 'yourself', and must be a big part of everyone's identity as a person.
A lot of questions... no need to answer them all ofc!
This thread is also touching this topic:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231549.msg2059212.html#msg2059212
When did you start recognizing yourself in the mirror (on hormones)?
Like usual, I"m going to answer these questions in order. ;)
My face is okay. I like it more since starting T, since its looking more masculine these days. Yes, it has changed quite a bit. One of my sisters says I now "look like Dad." I took that as a high compliment!
I woulnd't say I have "facial dysphoria" so much as "when is my facial hair going to REALLY start growing in???" I have a slight beard now, and even slighter mustache, just enough to look somewhat male, but I wouldn't mind if I had twice the amount of facial hair. Like I mentioned before, one of my sisters now thinks I look like my Dad. I'm definitely judging my own face more harsh than others. My gender therapist keeps telling me, "It'll grow, just give it time." I know it will, but I want it NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!
I have not had anything done to my face, nor do I plan on it. I've been debating on using Minoxidil, but the expense of it while being on Disability is one I can do without. So instead, I live vicariously through those on here that ARE using it. Its probably the closest I'll get to it until my own facial hair grows in more.
I most definitely look different since being on T! I now feel like a man with a woman's chest when I look topless into the mirror. I need to get my top surgery done so I can get my chest to match my face. I really didn't find the changes too alien until one day I looked in the mirror and didn't see "myself," but "a man's face with my eyes" looking back at me. I was shocked! I had gotten so used to looking at my mustache, my beard, and jawline that when I looked at myself that day and took in the whole picture, I didn't recognize myself! Now I'm going through the process of looking at my entire face instead of bits and pieces, so I"m slowly getting used to my new face.
When I look at myself in old pics, its not alien, but its more like "I don't look like that anymore, and I'm glad!" Im starting to look like how I always thought I should and that make me grin like crazy! I don't hate my old face, its simply a face I am happy to leave behind. There's not much I would have remain about my old face, but I WOULD like less wrinkles around my eyes! I"m older now, (56) and thus, I've acquired a few more than I had even a couple years ago.
I was a bit afraid of the changes, after all, most of the visual and auditory ones are permanent. I had to think long and hard about if I wanted to do that to my body, then I came to the realization that I wasn't really happy with my body, its just that after 54 years, I was used to how it looked and responded. Once I realized that, it was easy for me to decide to start T.
I think the only thing that surprised me about being on T is the sheer fact that I've actually grown ANY facial hair at all! One of my brothers took 50 years to be able to grow a mustache!
I still see "gender flaws," like I said before, I could do with more facial hair. I also occasionally still get misgendered, but those instances are a lot less nowadays. 95% of the time I am addressed as "sir," which even after nearly 16 months on T, still make me grin like a kid! I've been called "a pretty boy" because of my eyes, but I don't mind that. I even got a Pretty Boy shirt to emphasis it.
I think I look a lot like my brothers now, even with the sparsity of my facial hair. I look like a 14 year old version of my brothers, something that pleases me to no end!
I suppose my face is a big part of who I am, after all, its what people first see when hey meet me for the first time, right? I feel more comfortable with myself as a human being now, maybe that's something that's picked up on by new people I meet. I'm not quite yet seeing "me" when I look in the mirror, but its slowly sinking in that "yup, that's me!" when I see myself now!
I answered as many as I can because I find your questions not only help me figure out things about myself I didn't even realize, but helps me explain myself TO myself. Keep up the great work!
Ryuichi
Quote from: Kylo on March 22, 2018, 07:08:03 AM
Been meaning to check that app out for a while too on my other phone, been a while since I looked at my voice pitch
(https://i.imgur.com/u6Bx4GM.jpg)
NICE!
I should re-try that app. The last time I did, it said I was in the male range and that was good enough for me. I don't even remember where I was range-wise.
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
Quote from: Cassi on March 26, 2018, 07:20:40 PM
Easy for you all! You have hair :(
but for how much longer haha T does have its downsides
Quote from: Peep on March 27, 2018, 04:26:43 PM
but for how much longer haha T does have its downsides
Yeah, you're right, lol. I thought male baldness, which is suppose to be presented by percentage by age, i.e 20 years old 20%, 30 years 30% yadda yadda yadda.
Working on getting the rogaine at CostCo. Even Kroger brand was almost 3 times what Costco's is :)
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 27, 2018, 11:52:15 AM
NICE!
I should re-try that app. The last time I did, it said I was in the male range and that was good enough for me. I don't even remember where I was range-wise.
I tried it a few times to make sure it wasn't getting an erroneous reading. Seems like my voice is always somewhere between 85 and 83 Hz average.
Which I'm happy about, I feel a lot better about my voice now to the point of liking it (strange feeling). But it sure took its sweet time getting there, almost 1.5 years. I thought it was never gonna sound passable at first. I had visions I was going to sound like I'd been kicked in the nuts permanently, or stuck in the androgynous range.
I encountered a cis dude recently who had a fairly small Adam's apple as well which makes me feel somewhat better. T has given me a bit of growth on the larynx there but no major prominence, as we usually expect it wouldn't. I guess it's all right though, it doesn't seem to affect the depth of a person's voice all that much directly. I guess most of it is in the size of the cords and the passage the air's going through rather than the amount of cartilage laid on outside.
Quote from: Kylo on March 27, 2018, 07:06:47 PM
I tried it a few times to make sure it wasn't getting an erroneous reading. Seems like my voice is always somewhere between 85 and 83 Hz average.
Which I'm happy about, I feel a lot better about my voice now to the point of liking it (strange feeling). But it sure took its sweet time getting there, almost 1.5 years. I thought it was never gonna sound passable at first. I had visions I was going to sound like I'd been kicked in the nuts permanently, or stuck in the androgynous range.
I encountered a cis dude recently who had a fairly small Adam's apple as well which makes me feel somewhat better. T has given me a bit of growth on the larynx there but no major prominence, as we usually expect it wouldn't. I guess it's all right though, it doesn't seem to affect the depth of a person's voice all that much directly. I guess most of it is in the size of the cords and the passage the air's going through rather than the amount of cartilage laid on outside.
Since I'm somewhat stocky, my neck is relatively thick. My Adam's Apple simply doens't show. I'm going to have to look at my brothers' to see if theirs show, they're all chubbier than I am.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180328/c5cf9c0b48c80d389f7228440023ee1f.jpg)
I've only used this app twice, since my voice started deepening pretty dramatically after only a month or so after starting T. I went from 139Hz after only two months on T down to 121Hz. I'm pretty happy with where I am! ;D
Ryuichi
Quote from: Kylo on March 27, 2018, 07:06:47 PM
I tried it a few times to make sure it wasn't getting an erroneous reading. Seems like my I thought it was never gonna sound passable at first. I had visions I was going to sound like I'd been kicked in the nuts permanently, or stuck in the androgynous range.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 26, 2018, 10:59:38 PM
I answered as many as I can because I find your questions not only help me figure out things about myself I didn't even realize, but helps me explain myself TO myself. Keep up the great work!
Ryuichi
Thanks :laugh:!!! Made my day!!!!!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 11:06:19 PM
Thanks :laugh:!!! Made my day!!!!!
;D Glad I could!
Ryuichi
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 28, 2018, 11:27:29 PM
;D Glad I could!
Ryuichi
Still think your profile pic is so damn cool ;D!!! Don't change it xD
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 11:33:06 PM
Still think your profile pic is so damn cool ;D!!! Don't change it xD
Thanks! :)
Oh man, that pic is not only pre-T, but I was cosplaying at the time! (The facial hair is painted on with makeup.) I was just thinking a few days ago, "I don't have any nice pics of myself since growing my own facial hair, I need to take new ones."
Maybe I'll take a new one when I go to the anime con near me this July. I also need a new Facebook one that shows my new, finally authentic self!
Ryuichi
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 28, 2018, 11:41:39 PM
Oh man, that pic is not only pre-T, but I was cosplaying at the time! (The facial hair is painted on with makeup.)
Anyway it looks cool and authentic in that pic :D!
Do you look like that now as well?
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 28, 2018, 11:41:39 PM
I was just thinking a few days ago, "I don't have any nice pics of myself since growing my own facial hair, I need to take new ones."
Maybe I'll take a new one when I go to the anime con near me this July. I also need a new Facebook one that shows my new, finally authentic self!
Okay, can't wait for the new pic :D!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 29, 2018, 12:21:19 AM
Anyway it looks cool and authentic in that pic :D!
Do you look like that now as well?
Okay, can't wait for the new pic :D!
The man I was cosplaying as IS cool and confident, much like myself, so I thought he would be a great person to emulate. :)
I've always wanted a goatee, and now that I have a slight beard, it seems to have a real possibility of happening.
Currently, I have a slight beard, a very slight mustache and a few goatee hairs on my chin. I'm not even sure my facial hair will show up on a pic, its so slight. But its definitely there when viewed IRL. Currently, I look like a 14 year old boy, which is fine, after all, puberty takes YEARS, something I keep having to remind myself of.
Ryuichi
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 29, 2018, 01:06:48 AM
Currently, I look like a 14 year old boy, which is fine, after all, puberty takes YEARS, something I keep having to remind myself of.
14 is the best age I hear so glad you get to experience that again ;D!!!
Enjoy your refound youth! Hey, maybe transitioning and HRT is the magic formula and fountain of youth everyone is looking for ;D! Maybe cis people should try it as well! Well, ofc you'd get a gender swap on top of it but who cares right ;D!
Goatee would be cool!!!!!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 29, 2018, 10:31:31 AM
14 is the best age I hear so glad you get to experience that again ;D!!!
Enjoy your refound youth! Hey, maybe transitioning and HRT is the magic formula and fountain of youth everyone is looking for ;D! Maybe cis people should try it as well! Well, ofc you'd get a gender swap on top of it but who cares right ;D!
Goatee would be cool!!!!!
Naw, I think I'll stick with the refound youth that comes with Second Puberty, its WAY more ME! ;)
I'd rather be 15 again, or even 16, maybe by then I'll have more facial hair! Although, it IS giving me time to figure out what kind of shaver I want to eventually use. That's pretty cool. I remember one of my brothers using something called a "Black Man's Shaver" in order to prevent his face from getting ingrown hairs, something that African-American men seem prone to. I will eventually need to look for it. But that still doesn't prevent me from looking at the shaving products whenever I go to Walmart!
Ryuichi
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 29, 2018, 12:28:14 PM
I'd rather be 15 again, or even 16, maybe by then I'll have more facial hair! Although, it IS giving me time to figure out what kind of shaver I want to eventually use. That's pretty cool. I remember one of my brothers using something called a "Black Man's Shaver" in order to prevent his face from getting ingrown hairs, something that African-American men seem prone to. I will eventually need to look for it. But that still doesn't prevent me from looking at the shaving products whenever I go to Walmart!
And shaving products, cool :D!
Though gotta admit I'm pretty damn clueless about those :P
Well maybe I'll figure it out when the time comes
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 29, 2018, 11:45:48 PM
And shaving products, cool :D!
Though gotta admit I'm pretty damn clueless about those :P
Well maybe I'll figure it out when the time comes
If they hadn't forced me to shave in boot camp, I'd probably have peach fuzz or no facial hair now :(
I don't have to shave everyday which is a blessing I guess :)
Mines fine, from the eyebrows down !!!! its just that shiny bit on top with the grey wispy stuff
Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 29, 2018, 11:45:48 PM
And shaving products, cool :D!
Though gotta admit I'm pretty damn clueless about those [emoji14]
Well maybe I'll figure it out when the time comes
Oh trust me, when the time comes for me to need to shave, I'm going to be hitting up my brothers to see what they use! I really have no idea what would be best for me. I have a relatively smooth, unblemished, unwrinkled face, and I'd love to keep it that way for as long as I can!
Of course, I still scrub my face with facial soap and a buff puff, once a week use apricot scrub on it, and moisterize it whenever I wash it. I honestly believe that's why I still get mistaken for being in my early 30s even though I'm heading towrds 60 a bit too fast! [emoji6]
I've been taking care of my face since I was in my 20s. Glad the regimine has worked! [emoji106]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
Wellll.....
So many people say I look like Tom Hanks.....sigh....could be a LOT worse!!!
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on March 31, 2018, 01:07:57 AM
Of course, I still scrub my face with facial soap and a buff puff, once a week use apricot scrub on it, and moisterize it whenever I wash it. I honestly believe that's why I still get mistaken for being in my early 30s even though I'm heading towrds 60 a bit too fast! [emoji6]
I've been taking care of my face since I was in my 20s. Glad the regimine has worked! [emoji106]
Oh, no...! You don't ;D...! Well that certainly seems to be working in your favor ;)
I never use any products on my face tbh lol ;D ;D ;D
I've definitely started avoiding mirrors unless I dressed.
Do you like your face?
- For the most part and in general, yeah I like my face. Some traits I really like, others are more "meh" and some are more "ugh". But on average I'm fine with it.
Has it changed a lot after HRT?
- Not really. I mean some of my friends say it's really changed a lot but I disagree. Except from the very big, obvious change that is beard, I got a bit wider jaw, higher hairline that makes my face look more square-ish, a bit thicker eyebrows (but they were thick to begin with) and of course more acne that scarred the skin on my face more. So I count that as a change too, cause of the permanent extra scarring, although it's just indirectly cased by the T.
Are you happy with the changes?
- All but the acne, yeah.
Do you have facial dysphoria? Do you wish your face were more masculine/feminine?
- A bit, yeah. I'm dysphoric about how small my chin is and that my jawline kinda blends in with my neck. I don't think that looks masculine and it bothers me. For now, I hide it somewhat well with my beard, or at least the beard detracts from the shape/size of my jaw/chin, but I wish I can get that fixed surgically at some point. Like getting a chin implant and some lipo on/under my jaw to sharpen it. But I don't suppose I can afford that anytime soon. Maybe next decade...
Do you think your face affects your passing? When do you experience dysphoria?
- Not these days, no. I pass all the time these days. Last time I was misgendered was 4 years ago. I know that when new people/strangers see my face they can't even guess that I was born female. So that's nice, and is way above what expectations I had on T in terms of my face. That about my chin/jaw is really just for my own comfort and level of masculinity/manliness, and not connected to passing. I mean, getting that fixed won't make me pass more, cause I already pass 100% and there's no such thing as passing 110%. But it would make me feel better about my face.
Have other people complimented your face or commented on it? Do you think you are judging your features more harshly than other people?
- Yeah, many tell me I look hot/attractive, that they never could have guessed I'm trans, that they think I look totally like a dude, etc. So I get very positive comments, for the most part, and those are the ones I focus on.
Then a few randoms have commented on my acne, but it doesn't really get to me. Also, some people have pointed out in a negative light that I have a large nose, but that doesn't get to me at all cause I really like that my nose is big.
I know I judge my face more harshly than others do, but I also don't beat myself up about it, and I do see what they mean! I don't think I look bad or womanly, just wish I looked better and more male. I think it really is just because I stare at and carry that face every day, so it's more personal and important to me what it looks like for that reason.
Have you had any surgeries or treatments on your face? Or do you plan to? Why? Have these helped?
- No, not yet at least. If you don't count acne treatments that didn't work, that is. I do wish I can someday get that jaw and chin fixed up, as I said already, but who knows when or even if. Other than that I don't want to modify anything. Beyond getting more piercings, maybe. Like in my nose if I can get it to stop constantly being runny, maybe I'd like a tongue percing and more rings in my lip as well. Tried eyebrow piercings before but those didn't stick. I'd never get tattoos on my face though. That only goes below my neck, and possibly on my neck but not anywhere higher up. I'm glad I'll never have a "respectable" job to worry about in terms of my looks though!
Do you think you look strikingly different after being on HRT?
- No, I don't think I look strikingly different. More just subtly different. If I'd shave my beard I think my face would look very similar to how it did before. I couldn't pass without a beard even when I was several years on T. So I think that's the crucial difference for my face. It being more masculine on the upper half, makes the addition of a beard the biggest difference in if I'm perceived as male or female. At least that makes sense to me, if the beard literally hides the feminine attributes with a very male attribute.
Do you think you look more alien or just more you?
- I think I look more closely to what I consider me, but not perfectly so. It reflects my gender better, but I've always felt strangely awkward about having a human body. Like I never got used to that, somehow. I'm weird, I know, but that's okay xD
Did you find it hard to see your face (that you've grown used to) changing...?
- No, that wasn't hard at all for me. I've always had a very easy time to get used to change. And I had seen my teeth change drastically when I had braces in my teens, seen changes with drastically new hairstyles (like going straight from long black hair to short blonde hair, for ex), as well as very dramatic makeup styles, etc. I thought the changes from taking T were very slow compared to those other things, a little too slow (yeah, impatient) so I had lots of time to get used to it, and it never overwhelmed me. Also I've never been used to my face anyway. It's always surprised me in the mirror, so in a sense, I've always been used to never being used to it!
What do you think/feel when you see old and new pics of your face?
- I feel mostly just nostalgic about old pics but not like I miss it. A little embarrassed about how I chose to style myself at some times in my past, but gender wise... it doesn't really bother me. If anything I think it's fun to compare the pre-transition me that was overly feminine, to current me that looks drastically more male. But all those years between "before" and "after" had a lot of shades of androgyny. And I also like that there are pics of me at 17 in which I looked very similar to how I do now, minus the beard.
For new pics of my face, I'm usually thinking they're okay unless the lighting, colours, angle or picture quality is particularly bad. But it's very rare that I feel very satisfied about a pic of my face. It's usually just "meh, it'll do."
Do you recognize yourself in the old photos or not anymore?
- Yeah I recognise myself in them. I feel the memories those pictures bring up, and I was the same person back then, for the most part at least. If not else, I recognise that that's who/how I was at that time. Some things changed, other things didn't.
Is there something you liked about your 'old face' and wish that was still there? Or did you use to hate all your facial features before? Has this changed now?
- Well the things I liked about my "old face" never went away, so... I mean, I liked my big bulky nose, my thick arched eyebrows, my green eyes, my fair skintone, my thin lips. Stuff like that which hasn't changed, or has improved if anything, like my eyebrows. I like my face better now, but I never really hated it to begin with.
Were you ever scared of the possible/inevitable changes...? (even a little bit? even if you were waiting for them?)
- No I don't think I was. Maybe a little bit worried about losing my hair cause that would affect how my face looks whether I can have hair to frame it or not. But in terms of direct face changes, I don't think so. I definitely wanted facial hair and a wider jaw. I got that and not much more, and I was never scared of those changes. When I started T it was more like I thought "let's see what this can do" and I didn't really have much of any worries about what would or wouldn't happen.
Is there something that surprised you in your facial changes after being on hormones you didn't expect?
- I didn't expect for my hairline to get higher at the temples, but I wanted it to, so that was a nice and very welcomed surprise. I didn't know that was a possible change to get from T, but deeply desired a more male hairline. I think that frames my face more nicely now. I knew about most changes one can get from taking T, but some had slipped my radar, somehow.
When you now see yourself in the mirror, do you see an obvious man or a woman - or do you still find 'gender flaws'?
- I do clearly see a man in the mirror, but not a masculine enough man. So yeah, I see "gender flaws" but not in a way that sort of "makes it or breaks it", but rather beyond just passing. Somehow I wonder if that makes me seem greedy... but I'm not too proud to admit that I'm vain though!
Do you now resemble more your famele/male relatives?
- I'd say somewhat. My mother says I look more like my father now, but with the significant age difference it's hard for me to see that. However I've seen picture of him from when he was in his 20's and he did look a lot like how I look now.
I also think I look a little bit like my uncle, on my mother's side, but again, the age difference makes comparison difficult for me. I don't have any brothers and don't think I look similar to my male cousins that are a bit closer to my age (youngest one is around 10 years older than me).
I used to look very similar to my sister, which people used to comment on all the time, but now we don't look very similar at all. Now people tend to be surprised when they find out that we're siblings.
Is your face a big part of your identity as an individual?
- No, I don't consider any part of my body to be part of my identity. I see it more as a vessel or a canvas, something I have to drag around for better or worse. As for my face, I don't know. I'm not sure what I'm ranting about... what do you mean by "identity"? I feel a little confused...
Do you feel like this more after being on hormones?
- I'm not sure. I've always felt very detached from my body in general, beyond just dysphoria but not like dysmorphia, and I only connect to it on occasion by certain things I do. Like when I meditate sometimes, do certain religious practices, when I have sex, etc. But otherwise there's always a distance between me and my body, like very mild, almost constant dissociation. It's more connected to me now gender-wise, which is a huge relief, but fact remains I'm still disconnected to it in basically all other regards.
Do you now see 'you' when you look in the mirror?
- No, I still don't see myself in the mirror, but I see a face that's closer to mine. I know I have a different face in my mind, but it's not extremely different. Like sibling-different, kind of, or a photoshopped version. I think I focus so much on that mental image I have of myself that when I look in the mirror I get surprised that it's not what I expected. But it doesn't bother me much. I actually live rather comfortably pretending that I look different than I actually do. And I think a lot of my confidence comes from that I think of myself looking better than I think I actually do. Meaning, I carry myself thinking I look better and that strengthens me a bit. I don't think I'll ever truly reach that goal, but I appreciate every little step that brings me closer to it, and reaching 100% is not necessary.
Yeah, you really had a lot of questions, but I don't mind at all! Kept me from boredom for a couple of hours! :D So... here's a book of replies from me...
(I wonder if there's a limit to how long texts we can put in each post here, by the way. I guess I'm gonna notice at some point!)
My current avatar as of 4/7/2018, is me, no FaceApp, Alterations, make-up, nothing but HRT for 3 months.
Do I look like I did 3 months okay. I don't think so. Do I feel fulfilled, lol, no but that remains to be seen over time.
My actual relationship with my face - changes everyday, sometimes every hour :)