Hello everyone, this has been a longtime coming. So it all started when? Well lets not bore you today with all the details. For a screen name not in use my third choice was accepted so just call me Dolly. In the early years going to bed wishing/dreaming I was a girl. As a teenager thinking I was possibly gay, no that didn't fit I liked girls. I especially liked when I was alone at home and could put my older sisters clothes on. Getting older and connecting dots I started to suppress these wants as best i could. Then the voice in my head would ask me" am i trans". Careers and family the years go by and the shame of my secret suppressed way down inside. Finally not being able to carry it all bottled up inside I found myself sitting one-on-one with a therapist saying, hmm i got this little problem I have never shared with anyone. A year later we agreed "she" was not going away. Moving forward I did a year of low dose hrt(informed consent w.o./sharing this with my spouse) At first everything was feeling great and even at fifty changes did happen the juice was working its magic. This part i find hard to describe, i start living a lie that I hid my entire life and pretty much embrace it fully. Now I'm hiding the truth from the one person that truly matters to me, who would be devastated to find out. Yes, Im wrong for not being up front with my wife, years ago when she discovered my desire to wear womens clothes things were rather tense for a while. So shortly after the first of this year I went cold turkey. I will never pull a stupid ass stunt like that again, wow was I messed up for a couple of weeks. Things started to change back, at first after the falling out feelings stopped ,it was good. Soon enough my T started to wake up and now Im back to hearing the voice in my head tell me " you need to get back on the juice". So here's the question, before I start HRT how do i go about gently informing my spouse my intentions? I now know for a fact I feel better being "her" than me. I seen enough change in myself physically that first year to know the wife had to see it also but yet she respected that boundary, so maybe it isn't going to be as shocking to her as i suspect. Thanks I look forward to receiving good advice.
Hello Dolly, I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting.
WELCOME to Susan's Place. You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey.
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. You might even find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and get involved at your own pace. Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Hi Dolly 🙋♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place! I'm Jessica. One suggestion I have thought was if you truly think she may be aware that you had been on hrt before, discuss it with her, letting her know how it had made you feel better. Consider asking her at that time if she would be willing to attend therapy with you or separately.
Danielle has opened the door to Susan's Place! Come on in and get to know us better.
Please read the links she gave you, especially the site rules, which help keep us all happy, and the link highlighted in red. That one has a number of answers to commonly asked questions
Hugs, Jessica
Hi Dolly :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M