I have always been a closet cross-dresser. Sometimes I will wear a feminine/neutral top, but nothing too obvious. Lately, like in the last month or two, I have become much bolder or less concerned with being noticed as a cross-dresser. Yesterday, my day off, everybody else at work/school, I decided I wanted a new bra, but not one that I just grabbed, but one that fitted nice. I got dressed, put on a bra with cutlets, a sweater with cut out shoulders and lace up front over lace, jeggings, calf high heeled boots, hoop earrings, mascara, and subtle lipstick. I grabbed my purse and left.
On my way out the door, I checked my reflection in the mirror and was only concerned about the extra weight I am carrying. I stopped a fast food place and went in. Never gave a second thought about my appearance, other than everything was still in place.
I arrived at the department store and went to the lingerie department. The sales lady spent about 45 min with me before we found a bra that fit. Well, as well as a bra will fit my body type, lol. I bought the bra, glanced at the rack of dresses in the next department and said that I really wished there was a dress that would fit me. With my wide shoulders and no girls to support a dress, too much of my chest is exposed. She offered to help me. We found a dress, after about 8 tries. It wasn't the cheapest, nor the most expensive. I walked out of the changing room wearing it (I knew I liked it) and she told me that is the one. It actually looked nice on me. Dresses usually look like they don't fit, even if they do. So I bought my first tried on, looks nice dress.
Now it's lunch time, and the store is getting busy. I am walking causally towards the door, instead of my usual scurry. As I pass the make-up counter, I decide I want a bold lipstick. They lady there suggests several, I try them out. There is even another lady customer waiting behind me. After I decline the first couple, the customer suggests one! The sales lady said she thought it may be too bold, but when I tried it on, we all agreed that it looked nice. Both said, at the same time, that it made my eyes look amazing. (Lipstick? Bringing out the eyes? Never heard of that). After buying the lipstick, I left, still wearing the lipstick.
On my way home, I stopped at a convince store, got gas and went in to get a bottle of water. Never crossed my mind that I wasn't dressed "right". Got home, and after a while realized what sort of day I had had. It was great, but very concerning in a way. Why, in the space of a few weeks, have I gone from a cautious, at home cross-dresser to this bold, or unconcerned? Is it likely to continue to progress? That is good and bad. Job and marriage potentially at stake, but potentially for freedom and less stress, if society were more tolerant.
All this plus a couple of questions for genetic women. When I was trying on the bras, another woman followed me into the changing area, with a friend. When I was done, I exited the changing room, she had stepped out as well to model the bra for her friend. Neither were concerned about me, and the friend even commented that that this bra defined me better than the last one. So, my question for any genetic women is about the fitting room and make-up counter- Is it normal for a woman to compliment the fit of another's bra? to suggest make-up colors? Where the women in the fitting room unusual in their acceptance of me? Was I granted "honorary woman" status? There is no way I was confused for anything other than a man trying on a bra/lipstick.
Sorry about the length. All in all, it was an awesome day, with some concerning implications. Any insight is much appreciated.
@ Anastasia: Don't apologize about the length of your posting. I enjoyed reading about your exciting day yesterday.
It is terrific that all during your day out in female mode that you were accepted by all the women that you encountered.... and yes, women do compliment other women on clothing choices... and also the bra department as you experienced.... much different in how men interact with other men.
Again, I enjoyed reading your posting about your exciting day out....
Wishing you well,
Danielle
Hi, Anastasaia. Sounds like you had a great day.
Why are you feeling the way you do? Only you can answer that. But courage is built up by conquering fears. It sounds like you have been doing a lot of fear-conquering.
Women do talk to one another in situations that would be very awkward if it were men. Women chat in the ladies' room, sometimes even from one stall to another. Women will give each other shopping tips in the supermarket or commiserate about not being able to find the right product.
Most cis-women are quite accepting of trans/CD women. The fact that you are trying on bras and dresses makes you a woman in their eyes, even if they can guess your history. Yes, it is a bit startling for us who come from a masculine environment and have not yet fully adapted. But it's all good.
I also recall how much better I felt, when I started openly shopping for female clothes, instead of pretending they weren't for me.
I was hoping that their responses were genuine, but I wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking or not.
I guess I have been building up more courage than I realized since I did it again. Went shopping for men's t-shirts for summer, but I didn't think twice and went dressed like I did last time (no AH-Ha this time, just a funny moment), same, but slightly a different outfit. I went into Kohl's, walked past the front display racks, saw a skirt, decided to try it on, didn't like it. Went over to Men's and found 4 shirts I would wear. I was wondering towards the fitting room while I shopped when a man came out, glanced at me and had a "what the heck" look and kept going. Then I realized I was a man, presenting as a woman, carrying men's clothes to the men's fitting room. This was sort of funny, what fitting room should I use? A little panic, and I decided to go back to the woman's fitting room. when I got there, I had the same problem. I had seen some other skirts I liked, so I selected a couple to try on as well and headed into the fitting room. Then I started laughing... How many times have I grabbed a men's garment to cover the women's garment I really wanted to try on? Now it's the other way around!
I guess the self confidence I felt that first time must have played a part. I was no longer a man in women's clothes but being who I am meant to be. Maybe it was that confidence that moved me from a weird person to an acceptable person in what is very much a woman's place.
I have also realized I feel like a character in a book where the author has decided to speed up the story. I was at work last night, in a retail store, when a lady walks up to me and smiles. I smile back and she says "i thought it was you! I recognize your smile. " My wife said the same thing about my smile when we started dating. I think I recognize her but...then she says she was with her sister at Belk's (a regional department store). I guess she say a little panic and told me she understood discretion. She asked if I bought the last one I tried on. Yes. Good, i really did look the best. She also told me she wished more men would wear legging like I did because she likes to look at men's butts as much as you (meaning me) like to look at womens butts. She was right.
I feel like my story has been sped up. this is 3 major (for me) crossdressing events in two weeks. And the first time a in real life person knows I am a crossdresser and where I work. But I still want to keep moving forwards to resolution. I will be seeing a new health care provider in the next few weeks. I may/am planning to address this part of my personality with her.
Thanks for the feedback. Glad I wasn't getting too carried away with my positive interpretation of what happened..
Your just getting more comfortable with yourself. I had a similar experience a couple months ago. I tended to just dress to go to the doctors as my appointments are at 7am and it's still dark here.
I was dressed female but still had my beard and moustache. My wife called and ask me to stop at a store and get her some items. So what the heck I did and the store was packed with peeps going to work. Long story short, the world didn't end and all was well. That gave me the push to come out full time as a woman and I haven't looked back.
I think once you realized that fear was holding you back and you are beyond that point you can feel freer to be yourself now.