Hi everyone. So yesterday I found out my dad has testicular cancer. He has a mass on his left testicle. He is having surgery in the morning. They are going to remove it and then replace it with a prosthetic testicle. I'm just absolutely a wreck over this. My dad has known this since Tuesday but he only told me yesterday! Im very upset over that too. Tyler and Tristan both also have known since then. I told my dad I couldn't believe he hadn't told me then. He said he knew I was going to be really upset and he didn't see the use in me being upset all week. I am especially upset with Tristan. I told him I couldn't believe he had known about it and didn't tell me!! He said my dad specifically asked him not to. My dad said the Dr told him he wouldn't need chemo or radiation. But I don't know if maybe he's lying about that too. Can they know he won't need chemo before they do the surgery?
Im having a really hard time with this. I am just so worried. I can't even imagine what I would do if anything happened to my dad! And I feel so bad for him. For a man losing a testicle is like losing a breast for a woman. My dad is acting all stoic about it which is typical for him but I can't imagine how devestated he must be.
Has anyone dealt with testicular cancer or known someone who has? Does it have a good cure rate? My dad said the mass on his testicle is small and the Dr told him he caught it early. I want so much to believe my dad was telling the truth about not having to have chemo or anything. But he's worried about not wanting to upset me so I don't know. Sorry this is all rambling. Im just really upset right now.
Sorry to hear that. Not experienced it personally but know of a few people that are doing fine after surgery. Radiation or chemo will be determined after surgery when they see how extensive it may be. When I had prostrate cancer it had spread into the bladder neck about 1 mm, no way to determine that ahead of time. I went thru 32 radiation treatments and everything has been great since December 2007. No unwelcome side effects from the radiation and no pain from the treatments.
Best wishes to your dad and my prayers to you and your family
Quote from: Donna on April 01, 2018, 10:31:03 PM
Sorry to hear that. Not experienced it personally but know of a few people that are doing fine after surgery. Radiation or chemo will be determined after surgery when they see how extensive it may be. When I had prostrate cancer it had spread into the bladder neck about 1 mm, no way to determine that ahead of time. I went thru 32 radiation treatments and everything has been great since December 2007. No unwelcome side effects from the radiation and no pain from the treatments.
Best wishes to your dad and my prayers to you and your family
Thank you. I just can't believe this is happening. I used to worry about my dad getting lung cancer when he still smoked. But after asking, pleading, nagging, crying and asking him to quit smoking for me, I finally got him to quit almost 3 years ago. I still worried about the dangers of his being a cop but I no longer worried about him getting cancer. Then this happens! Life is really messed up sometimes!
I'm so sorry. Please stay strong and I hope your dad is back in full health very soon. Keep us posted as much as you can and take care of yourself too
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Quote from: Allison S on April 01, 2018, 11:04:35 PM
I'm so sorry. Please stay strong and I hope your dad is back in full health very soon. Keep us posted as much as you can and take care of yourself too
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Thank you. I will.
Hi Julia, your dad seems very in tune with himself and his environment. I'm sure he was asking for help as soon as he knew he needed it. It can spread, sure, but if gotten early I believe chances are good. The only experience I had with this was with a friend from high school. He did the opposite, and tried to ignore it even after it spread all over. He was embarrassed being only 19. His mom lectured me for an hour about it when I went to see him after my first year of college. He was already gone and I hadn't known. She kept telling me that it could have been fine if only he went early. Anyway, I'm no doctor my exoerience is only from hearing about what happened to my friend.
Be strong for your dad, tell him you love him.
Bari Jo
Juila if its caught early i belive the rates are good ) i went to school with someone who had one removed in his 20s and hes completly fine 15ish years later. Hes getting it treated and its fantastic hes haveing it removed so fast. Cancer is always scary, my wife is going through radiotheripy now. Having worst thoughts is normal theres always the what if... thought but in reality cancer trratments and care have come along way in recent years.
Just be there for him and help if u can while hes recovering from the operation, talk to him and say u would have sooner knew when he found out. If u know hes open and not hiding facts it should make some of your worse case thoughts go away.
Hugs x
I had to deal with my wife having stomach cancer which has a five year survival rate of less than 30 percent. That was eight years ago and other than having to endure a pretty major surgery at the time she is perfectly fine. We were lucky in that they found it at a very early stage and she had a good surgeon and so didn't need any other treatment. The five year survival rate for testicular cancer if found early is 99 percent so he will likely also be fine after a short hospital stay. If they only have to remove one then I don't think he will have to endure any long term negative effects since there will still be one remaining.
I knew a guy once that had one removed in an accident with a tree branch and other than a pretty massive scar that he liked to show people he was ok.
I know this is emotionally nerve wracking but you just have to put some trust in the doctors and they will get him fixed up and back to normal very quickly.
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Big hugs hun. X
I don't have any specific experience of this subject, but as others say, survival rates are typically very good. Stay positive [emoji4]
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So sorry to hear Julia. I can understand you are upset. One of my coworkers has had testicular cancer a few years back and had to have one removed. He is now cancer free for almost 8 years and is at a point where he can laugh and joke about it. He now also has two daughters, both have been born after his cancer. One of them was naturally conceived, for the other they needed some help but it was all doable.
I do feel your dad put Tristan in a bit of a bad spot by telling him and expecting him to keep this a secret.
Any kind of cancer or other illness of a loved one is a nerd wracking experience
I am sure dad will be fine and I keep my fingers crossed for a speedy recovery! Please keep us up to date, you made us all worry for your dad!
Big Hugs, and know we are always here for you.
Pulling for the big guy. He's getting an orchiectomy, there's information in the orchi subforum about the healing and recovery. For your dad, there are forums and support sites for men having testicles removed. I'm sure he doesn't want to read our cheerful tales of "lopping them off". ;D
Best wishes.
Hugs, Devlyn
Wow Julia. Now is the time for you to be strong for your Dad. Let him get through all of this and worry about himself, and you just be there for him, no matter what he might have to go through. You're a tougher lady than you think you are!
Don't be too mad at Tristan and Tyler. Maybe they wanted to make sure you had a nice holiday. Maybe they wanted to make sure you had a nice weekend. Either way, they thought about you, and didn't want you to worry until the last moment they could. The same for your Dad. Its obvious they love you and didn't want you to worry.
Surgery, chemo or radiation, whatever it is your Dad has to go through, be there for him. He's proaably going to need YOU for a change. So show him how much of an adult you have grown into and how strong you really are.
You can do this. You MUST, for his sake.
Good luck. I'll be sending all of you positive healing energy.
Ryuichi
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That is so awful, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's just the most devastating news you can hear. I haven't got any personal experience but like others have said if it's caught early the survival rates are good. Sending all my love x
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Julia one of my really good friends had this done 12 years ago. He never had any chemo or radiation ever, just checkups.
On his last checkup the doctor told him that hid didn't think the cancer would ever come back. I know its a lot to deal with because my mother also had cancer for 13 years and she's fine now and cancer free for over 15 years. I think he will be fine.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm wondering if your dad hasn't mentioned until now in order to prevent any over-emotional over reaction from you, Julia. Given that he told your brother and BF and not you, I'd say this was a serious option - and it may pay to think about why he would do this..
Hi Julia,
I think in these situations people don't always think straight. They've probably learned from your reaction. I would put this aside and just concentrate on helping your father.
I hope all goes well.
Paige :)
Julia, sorry to hear that. Thankfully it was caught on time so there's a huge chance removing it will be the end of the problem. He will probably need check-ups every now and then like others said.
Hi Julia,
As one that has heard the C word several times myself. I understand the fear it inspires in us. It is always scary to hear it in reference to oneself or loved ones. Being told you have cancer though scary doesn't always mean the worst though that is where our thoughts go upon hearing it. I can understand also your Dad wanting to save you from that worry. I'd be willing to bet he would not have told you at all if he had thought he could get it taken care of without you knowing.
As others have said chemo and radiation are not always necessary usually because they feel all of it will be removed with the infected part being removed. Either that or the particular type of cancer does not respond to those treatment. That was the case with mine. First they thought they caught it in time when they removed my kidney but that was proven incorrect when it was found in my pancreas and after that surgery it returning in several other places.
So sometime they do get it wrong and additional treatments become necessary. All we can do is to do what the doc says and hope for the best possible outcome. It becomes a wait and see scenario. His prognosis is pretty good or they would have told him more would be needed. What he needs from you Julia, is not anger but support. worry will happen you cannot help that but a positive attitude will ease it.
Hugs,
Laurie.
PS Do you not want a visit with me? I should be in Colorado soon.
Quote from: PurplePelican on April 02, 2018, 08:55:22 AM
I'm wondering if your dad hasn't mentioned until now in order to prevent any over-emotional over reaction from you, Julia. Given that he told your brother and BF and not you, I'd say this was a serious option - and it may pay to think about why he would do this..
I do think your dad was thinking of your best interests when he omitted telling you first off. It is a male trait to protect women from stress, whether it be social, financial or emotional. The T in their system allows them to be more stoic about these situations.
I'm not saying he was necessarily correct in his actions, but it is how he felt it was best at the moment.
For the hard part, I do think he will make a full recovery.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
My dad's surgery went well. Thankfully he won't need chemo or radiation therapy. The surgeon told us it had been caught early and said it was a good thing my dad had found it. My dad had said it wasn't a big lump but more like an irregularity. That's according to what he told Tristan. My dad would never discuss his testicles with me as silly as that is, he is my dad after all. I'm just glad he did self exams on himself. He was always adamant about checking me for possible skin cancers when I was growing up which I often found annoying. I'm glad he applied that to himself too. They implanted a prosthetic testicle too. They let him come home yesterday which I couldn't believe. He just had surgery for heavens sake! I also got kind of annoyed because my dad wouldn't stay in bed and because he kept getting up and walking around. I told him to go to bed and I would bring him dinner but he said no, that he wanted to eat with us. The Dr gave him a prescription for pain killers which I made sure to fill right away but he hasn't taken even one of them. He said he's really not in a lot of pain and that tylenol does fine. I really hope my dad realizes this is a serious thing and that he's taking it seriously . Tristan told me I should be happy my dad is doing so well and I am, but I still think he should be in bed. This morning I got his coffee ready to take to him in bed but he came downstairs. He's in the den watching TV right now instead of in his bed where he should be. He also keeps getting up which is irritating me. He came into the kitchen to get more coffee. I asked him what he thought he was doing and that he knew I was right there in the kitchen and why hadn't he asked me to get it for him. He said he wasn't an invalid and that he was ok. I find his behavior baffling. A couple of months ago he had the flu. He totally stayed in bed and I nearly collapsed from exhaustion from going up and down the stairs so many times bringing him stuff. He acted like a big baby. Now he has major surgery and he won't stay in bed and he won't let me do much of anything for him. What's up with that??!! Sometimes my dad can just be weird! I told Tristan I didn't understand how he could get up and walk so much after his scrotum had been split open and he told me it hadn't. He said they had made the incision in his groin. I told him that couldn't be right and asked where he got that idea. He said he helped my dad change his bandage this morning and he had seen it. They went through his groin to operate on his testicles. That's crazy! I really hope his surgeon knew what he was doing! That just totally doesn't sound right to me.
So glad to hear everything went well! Finding early is really the key. Maybe you need to deploy your Dad's handcuffs to keep him resting. Such a guy thing to do...
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 03, 2018, 09:09:37 AM
My dad's surgery went well. Thankfully he won't need chemo or radiation therapy.
I'm really glad that it went well and your dad is on the mend.
I can vouch for the groin scar, I have a prosthetic testicle as well and that's where they went in. It's a heck of a scar! Walking about was fine after a couple of days but no running about!
Men are weird like that, colds knock their socks off and leave them huddled in bed all day with man flu but any kind of physical injury just turns into a look how macho I am competition!
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Glad to hear! Recovery from surgery is a big deal. But some people's bodies take it better than others. It's great that your dad is doing well. [emoji4]
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He does have a tough guy cop image to uphold there Julia. :D
Glad it went well. As far as cancers go, an early detected testicular one is about the best one could have. He may rethink the pain killers later today or tomorrow if things swell up, but then again tough guy cop...
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 03, 2018, 09:09:37 AM
My dad's surgery went well. Thankfully he won't need chemo or radiation therapy. The surgeon told us it had been caught early and said it was a good thing my dad had found it. My dad had said it wasn't a big lump but more like an irregularity. That's according to what he told Tristan. My dad would never discuss his testicles with me as silly as that is, he is my dad after all. I'm just glad he did self exams on himself. He was always adamant about checking me for possible skin cancers when I was growing up which I often found annoying. I'm glad he applied that to himself too. They implanted a prosthetic testicle too. They let him come home yesterday which I couldn't believe. He just had surgery for heavens sake! I also got kind of annoyed because my dad wouldn't stay in bed and because he kept getting up and walking around. I told him to go to bed and I would bring him dinner but he said no, that he wanted to eat with us. The Dr gave him a prescription for pain killers which I made sure to fill right away but he hasn't taken even one of them. He said he's really not in a lot of pain and that tylenol does fine. I really hope my dad realizes this is a serious thing and that he's taking it seriously . Tristan told me I should be happy my dad is doing so well and I am, but I still think he should be in bed. This morning I got his coffee ready to take to him in bed but he came downstairs. He's in the den watching TV right now instead of in his bed where he should be. He also keeps getting up which is irritating me. He came into the kitchen to get more coffee. I asked him what he thought he was doing and that he knew I was right there in the kitchen and why hadn't he asked me to get it for him. He said he wasn't an invalid and that he was ok. I find his behavior baffling. A couple of months ago he had the flu. He totally stayed in bed and I nearly collapsed from exhaustion from going up and down the stairs so many times bringing him stuff. He acted like a big baby. Now he has major surgery and he won't stay in bed and he won't let me do much of anything for him. What's up with that??!! Sometimes my dad can just be weird! I told Tristan I didn't understand how he could get up and walk so much after his scrotum had been split open and he told me it hadn't. He said they had made the incision in his groin. I told him that couldn't be right and asked where he got that idea. He said he helped my dad change his bandage this morning and he had seen it. They went through his groin to operate on his testicles. That's crazy! I really hope his surgeon knew what he was doing! That just totally doesn't sound right to me.
Don't be too hard on him. Everyone feels pain and gets over surgery differently and walking is the best way to clear the anesthesia. When I had my prostatectomy I was up walking by supper time the same day and that helped get me home in 3 days instead of 5. Im sure his body will give him notice if he is doing too much.
Thankfully the surgery went well
Your dad is doing well and in the hospital the Dr's want you to get up and be walking around as soon as possible. It helps everything to heal faster. So you should be encouraging him to walk around.
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Great news!
Yay Julia, now just pamper him and feel the love. Time to support dad!
Bari Jo
I am happy he's doing so well. It just seems like he should be in bed to me but if he feels well enough to be walking around that's fine I guess. I did mess with him a little this morning. I couldn't help myself. This morning I walked in with bandages and told my dad the Dr said the bandage was supposed to be changed today and to pull down his boxers. The look on his face was hilarious! He asked if I was crazy and I told him the Dr had suggested someone help him change his bandage and lets get on with it. He said it certainly wasn't going to be me who helped him and he called Tristan. I asked him if he would really rather have Tristan help him than his own child. He said absolutely and that Tristan was a guy and also a paramedic. He told me to leave and shut the door on my way out. Lol. I knew there was no way in the world my dad would want me helping him with something like that but I wanted to see how he would react. Don't judge me. I needed a good laugh. Lol
Little devil in you. Too funny and hope he got a chuckle out of it as well.
Normally after a surgery not involving deep incisions the doctors want you moving around as soon as your head is clear enough to walk without falling. This normally takes a few hours so if your father feels steady on his feet, moving around isn't a problem as long as he doesn't pull on the incision.
Long bed rest used to be normal however they discovered the risk of blood clots when up the more people remained in bed. When I had GCS, it was 6 days flat on your back without inclining the bed. Now they incline the bed as soon as your awake and your on your feet 2 days after surgery.
Its great to hear that your Dad is feeling well enough to walk around! If that's really how he feels, let him. Blood clots are a real danger if he stays still for to long. If he needs to lie down, he will, I'm sure.
Your joke with him was great! But I can't say I blame him for asking Tristan to help him with the dressings. No man wants their daughter to see their junk, let me tell you!
Congrats to your Dad, and it sounds like he's well on the road to healing well!
Ryuichi
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 01, 2018, 10:24:28 PM
Hi everyone. So yesterday I found out my dad has testicular cancer. He has a mass on his left testicle. He is having surgery in the morning. They are going to remove it and then replace it with a prosthetic testicle. I'm just absolutely a wreck over this. My dad has known this since Tuesday but he only told me yesterday! Im very upset over that too. Tyler and Tristan both also have known since then. I told my dad I couldn't believe he hadn't told me then. He said he knew I was going to be really upset and he didn't see the use in me being upset all week. I am especially upset with Tristan. I told him I couldn't believe he had known about it and didn't tell me!! He said my dad specifically asked him not to. My dad said the Dr told him he wouldn't need chemo or radiation. But I don't know if maybe he's lying about that too. Can they know he won't need chemo before they do the surgery?
Im having a really hard time with this. I am just so worried. I can't even imagine what I would do if anything happened to my dad! And I feel so bad for him. For a man losing a testicle is like losing a breast for a woman. My dad is acting all stoic about it which is typical for him but I can't imagine how devestated he must be.
Has anyone dealt with testicular cancer or known someone who has? Does it have a good cure rate? My dad said the mass on his testicle is small and the Dr told him he caught it early. I want so much to believe my dad was telling the truth about not having to have chemo or anything. But he's worried about not wanting to upset me so I don't know. Sorry this is all rambling. Im just really upset right now.
This is going to be difficult. Wrap your arms around your dad and tell him you love him and will be there here for him. Nothing else matters. When a dad gets sick they try to spare others and are not thinking straight. Be there for him and reassure him of your love and support.
Be the loving daughter you are and nothing else matters.
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Quote from: Rachel on April 04, 2018, 02:41:44 PM
This is going to be difficult. Wrap your arms around your dad and tell him you love him and will be there here for him. Nothing else matters. When a dad gets sick they try to spare others and are not thinking straight. Be there for him and reassure him of your love and support.
Be the loving daughter you are and nothing else matters.
I second that emotion. Tell him you love him, and make sure that Tyler does as well.
Nothing heals like a show of love from your kids. <3
Ryuichi
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 01, 2018, 10:57:27 PM
Thank you. I just can't believe this is happening. I used to worry about my dad getting lung cancer when he still smoked. But after asking, pleading, nagging, crying and asking him to quit smoking for me, I finally got him to quit almost 3 years ago. I still worried about the dangers of his being a cop but I no longer worried about him getting cancer. Then this happens! Life is really messed up sometimes!
Julia, life is fragile and precious. We take things for granted when things are working as usual.
My dad was a Comcast vet and a cop, as were his brothers and my cousins. My brother worked for the government. They appear to be stoic, and tough but remembering they get scared and try to spare and protect us. It is a code of how they are to act.
Be there here for him and express it.
Life is precious and our time is limited. Time to be a strong loving and caring daughter.
Rachel
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