I like to daydream about going out with a trans guy. Does anyone know how common it is for this to happen IRL?
It has happened, but not often. The problem seems to be there are many more MTF than FTM. Also, sexuality, being different than gender identity, is going to complicate any dating possibilities.
I wish you the best of wishes in finding someone who has found you.
I know a MtF/FtM married couple so it can and does work. Like any relationship you just have to find the right person.
Yeah some do. I keep seeing such couples on youtube sometimes, so I know it's definitely possible. And the topic was somewhat brought up in the FtM category on this forum as well, not that long ago and some there said they had been/were dating a trans woman.
Oh and yeah, my ftm ex used to date an mtf before he dated me. I'm a trans guy but gay so probably won't likely ever date a trans woman though. That's just my sexuality, but I also never say never, for whatever it's worth.
From what I've seen online, it's very common for 2 trans people to date.
There are some on these boards who do.
But like it's been said already, a relationship based just on being trans is no more likely to be successful long term than basing it on some other outside characteristic. You need more than that to make things work for any length of time.
Sure it's likely to happen - as well as an ftm/ftm relationship too! If you spend a lot of your time hanging out with other trans/queer/lgbt people your chances of dating some of them (like another trans person) goes up ofc! If you mostly hang out with 'regular' cis folks, you'd be more likely to date them. It just comes down to who you spend your time with and what kind of people you surround yourself with. Same as if you move to another country, your chances of dating someone from there skyrockets!
Having a trans partner might be validating coz you two definitely know what each of you is going through. Then there might be extra complications if both of you suffer from bad dysphoria etc. Also gender/genitals might play a part - it might be weird for some people to have sex with a person who has the genitals you'd like to have yourself but don't.
Mostly though it's just about two people getting together and getting along - cis or trans.
I'm in a long relationship with a cis woman. But I'd definitely date a trans woman! To me trans women are just women like any other, so...! Why wouldn't I? I mean - I'm trans myself! And I don't consider myself to be undatable bcos of it ;D...!
When I was still part time (years and years ago) I had an ftm friend who was really hot and we both were attracted, but one of us was always dating someone else. If I were ever single again, I would be very open to an ftm boyfriend. I think I'm very similar to Septagon Scars in that regard.
I know a trans man and a trans woman who were a married couple until recently. :( I also know two trans women who are getting married to each other soon. :)
It seems to me that it's less uncommon than you would expect statistically.
Quote from: Dani on April 09, 2018, 04:46:27 PM
It has happened, but not often. The problem seems to be there are many more MTF than FTM. Also, sexuality, being different than gender identity, is going to complicate any dating possibilities.
I wish you the best of wishes in finding someone who has found you.
That may be the case in the US, but in Europe ftm generally outnumber mtf by 2 to 1.
It happens more often than you think.
Unfortunately, I've seen polls on ->-bleeped-<- where a despressingly large amount of trans women admitted that they'd never date a trans man... whereas trans men were much more likely to be willing to date a trans woman.
Quote from: Dani on April 09, 2018, 04:46:27 PMThe problem seems to be there are many more MTF than FTM.
This is very true... I've met a lot of people who present as a lesbian who fit the stereotypical macho male role... I often wonder if they had considered, and decided against transgender therapy.
When you think about it, trans people dating other trans makes a lot of sense. If any population can understand genitals as just some flesh, it's us. You would hope that we could see more of a person than genitals and if feelings are mutual figure out a way to make it work.
Yeah, its fairly common from my understanding
Basically, a lot of LGBT people hang out in the same spaces, and are attracted to each other physically and emotionally, as well as having that personal empathy with the idea that you're both trans despite being on the other side of the fence. Its just another way people connect to each other
I see more stories about a lesbian couple where one transitions at some point, FTM. I have seen a couple FTM/MTF stories....but it seems rare. Although I can only talk about what I have seen on the Internet and tv. I really just go to work and home....I think I'm a hermit. At least the her part fits :-).
There are quite a few couples in news stories that I've come across on the internet.
I would actually love to know what the statistical numbers are on this. I have seen a fair share of stories through media about couples like these, but I really don't know how common it is, but I sure would like to know.
Recently I kinda got into the band Steam Powered Giraffe and I know in one of their songs "Malfunction" they briefly show one such couple in it. I've also seen stories about it on 20/20, I've heard of it happening on the radio, and I've seen articles on interweb news sites. So it seems to be happening, the question again is just how often?
Yes trans date in fact I'm married to a trans man
I'm a post op trans women and I'm married to a pre op trans man, we are very happy together as he can relate to my problems even doe his going the opposite way. His such a gentleman and protective of me just the other day I caught him having a fight with a couple of people who came to the house to hurt me, he had no idea I was watching from upstairs, my hero in shining armour.
When we first got together he told me he was trans too but choice not to transition at that time as he was worried about the side effects and family issues, his past that now and has made it to real life experience. I only wish i could go back to our wedding day and put him into a tux.
Now his finally full time I feel so proud to be his wife and hold his arm in public, his my dream man.
Happiness can be found x.
We been friends for 6 years.
Together for 3 years
Married for 2 years
Madly in love still.
Ps I need to update my profile pic, that's him next to me before his real-life x
It may seem funny now but I actually know a couple that where straight they where happy with each over, but unhappy with themselves, they both transitioned to the opposite and are still together. Its not uncommon and when it comes to relationships ultimately it all depends on who can physically, mentally and spiritually complete you.
And yes I wouldnt tell my friends this but I have thought about it, if we both are happy what does it matter lol.
Quote from: ChristineHaylett on May 26, 2018, 05:16:54 PM
Yes trans date in fact I'm married to a trans man
I'm a post op trans women and I'm married to a pre op trans man, we are very happy together as he can relate to my problems even doe his going the opposite way. His such a gentleman and protective of me just the other day I caught him having a fight with a couple of people who came to the house to hurt me, he had no idea I was watching from upstairs, my hero in shining armour.
When we first got together he told me he was trans too but choice not to transition at that time as he was worried about the side effects and family issues, his past that now and has made it to real life experience. I only wish i could go back to our wedding day and put him into a tux.
Now his finally full time I feel so proud to be his wife and hold his arm in public, his my dream man.
Happiness can be found x.
We been friends for 6 years.
Together for 3 years
Married for 2 years
Madly in love still.
Ps I need to update my profile pic, that's him next to me before his real-life x
btw that is amazing, Im glad you both are happy. Did those 'thugs' that came to your place know he was trans to? I can't stand people like that (it also scares me more than anything to think people will think like that about me as well even without knowing me... ).
The last three people I went out with were all trans men; the first two are dating each other now. So, for me, it feels like I have trouble finding cis people to date. :)
I was actually once told (by one of the aforementioned trans men) that I was "too cis" for him to be with me, which really hurt at the time, because I'd already come out to him and he kept calling me a guy anyway.
Quote from: Amaki on May 30, 2018, 07:09:57 PM
It may seem funny now but I actually know a couple that where straight they where happy with each over, but unhappy with themselves, they both transitioned to the opposite and are still together. Its not uncommon and when it comes to relationships ultimately it all depends on who can physically, mentally and spiritually complete you.
And yes I wouldnt tell my friends this but I have thought about it, if we both are happy what does it matter lol.
btw that is amazing, Im glad you both are happy. Did those 'thugs' that came to your place know he was trans to? I can't stand people like that (it also scares me more than anything to think people will think like that about me as well even without knowing me... ).
xyz
They had no idea my partner was trans, I think he pass more then me but so handsome.
It is sad yes but I think it's even more upsetting when the police let's them get away and refuse to put it down as a hate crime.
Since the early days of transgender medicine, it could happen. Lobzang Jivaka, aka Laurence Michael Dillon, nee Laura Maud Dillon, the first trans man to receive phalloplasty, was in love with Roberta Cowell, Britain's first recipient of vaginoplasty. He actually illegally performed Cowell's orchiectomy.
Some trans people insist on having lovers who are not attracted to them BECAUSE they are trans. A member explained that this is because the alternative could trigger gender dysphoria. However, a trans man and trans woman might form a relationship not because they are especially attracted to trans people but because they met as members of LGBT groups, etc.
Quote from: kanad3 on April 14, 2018, 10:29:40 AM
That may be the case in the US, but in Europe ftm generally outnumber mtf by 2 to 1.
I don't know enough to say you are incorrect but I can't find statistics to support that. On the 2009 article
gender-variant populations (https://genderlines.wordpress.com/tag/statistics/),
statistics from a number of studies are shown but each shows mtf vastly outnumbering ftm, even in the European Union.
For example, Sheet 1: Tsoi88 shows 57,434 mtf and 20,067 ftm.
Either way, there seems to be a large enough reservoir of both mtf and ftm to date, especially if they deliberately socialise with other trans people.
My experience is that there are roughly equal numbers of what I consider trans men and trans women. Many of the surveys done apply criteria such as 'seeking or have received gender confirmation surgery' to their identification, which throws a real wrench into the works. FtM Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) is only sought by a small portion of the FtM community (one survey puts the number at 17%), at roughly half the rate that the MtF community seeks GCS. The FtM GCS is more complex, and produces what many consider to be a less satisfactory result than the MtF surgeries do.
I know quite a few trans men who are satisfied to just have top surgery, or even no surgeries, some hoping that GCS will significantly improve before they opt for it. Several of my FtM friends present as stone butch, completely accepted by various factions of the LGBTQ community.
Dating within queer spaces definitely happens between FtM and MtF folks.
I used to consider myself as a simple lesbian in orientation, but with transition and being more open to my identity, I have also questioned my orientation. I find that I am attracted to persons with a softer 'femme' appearance and personality without regard to what might be in their briefs. This range includes cis women, trans women, and some trans men. (There was a trans man at an LGBTQ meetup a year ago with a lush red beard and leg hair, and I kept wondering what it would feel like to be entangled with all of that. I still found a certain feminine energy about them that attracted me!)
But... but... What about the hardware between their legs??? There's more to romance than that! And if I do make a romantic connection sufficient to unlock my demisexual nature, I figure I can always use an adapter if needed... >:-)
It's a moot point for me, personally, as I am currently In A Relationship. :) The topic fascinates me, though. Humans are so wonderfully complex.
I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either
Quote from: AquaWhatever on July 01, 2018, 09:47:40 PM
I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either
From my understanding, and I could be wrong, but I hear that there are more MTFs than there are FTMs. This forum at least reflects that but that doesn't prove it. But anyways, assuming that would be true then it's quite likely that the chances to meet a transwomen who doesn't like a transman is just more likely to happen based on the higher pool of numbers but for all we know it could still only be 30% of transwomen. Point meaning 30% of 1,000,000 is more transwomen not liking transmen than 30% of 100,000 transmen, but it's still only 30% opposed to 70% who aren't like that (numbers made up).
Just something your comment made me think about.
----------------------------
And me personally, no I don't like transmen (in terms of relationships) but that's not to do with the fact that they're trans but rather the fact that I am not attracted to guys or masculinity at all. That's just my anecdotal though.
I think the reason we seem more active on the forums is that we're just more sociable and chatty on average than the trans guys :) only one of my trans male friends ever visits trans forums, and he goes to ->-bleeped-<-.
I always thought MTF girls is lesser than FTM boys, regardless it is a topic about the couples and I'm not sure is it important which gender or transgender you have when it comes to love. The only both trans couple family I've ever seen was FTM+FTM :)
Quote from: AquaWhatever on July 01, 2018, 09:47:40 PM
I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either
I like trans guys...a lot! Most of them are very handsome and masculine. My only issue is that some of them are too short, and it's not about being shallow, it's just that I like to feel feminine and tiny next to my guy lol.
My wife and I were both in the closet when we started dating. Funny how some things happen.
This is slightly off-topic, but I've recently been annoyed with some friends who implied that I'm not into guys because the last few I was with were all FTM. The (brief) conversation went something like:
"But I thought you were into guys?"
"Well, yeah, they were trans guys."
"But...you've been with real men too, right?"
(internally screaming): "Yeah. Yeah, I've done that, too."
They're very supportive of me otherwise (with occasional slips) and I know they're not used to interacting with trans people in general, but it still bugs me. Even "allies" say dumb things sometimes.