Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Wendyway2 on April 10, 2018, 08:18:05 PM

Title: On Dating
Post by: Wendyway2 on April 10, 2018, 08:18:05 PM
Hello,

I am interested in those who have experienced some response from online dating sites. When I first started dating it just meant my partner would begin to talk, as I would reveal more, and more we established boundaries. But now that dating has become an industry I have lost two bank accounts to porn dating. I have earned 30 cents on a webcam. I got lucky with  a family members hook up badge, and I had anonymous oral sex with other men three times in the basement in the LGBT Center in NYC. is this really dating. Because I am ready to live without, the only love I've ever felt has been in a romantic sense with two people getting closer to one another, and suddenly finding each other irresistible. Does anyone else feel the dating world is too expensive, and too impersonal. I find it to be highly competitive, and neo-social. Exchanging contacts works, but I have very little faith in reading up on profiles and sex talking them to death. I feel that it has taken something away from the quality I found in my relationships, as though by somehow believing in equal rights, we fall easy prey to becoming perverted in an exploitation of what is open minded. I do not have much faith in on-line dating, as I get old I am better off answering comments, and sending e mail. Dating sites I believe operate under a false premise. What's your take, or you view, share it with me I'd like some response. 
Title: Re: On Dating
Post by: Maria77 on April 11, 2018, 01:42:27 AM
I am not dating anymore, (I have a long term partner) but it seems very complicated these days. When I was single more than a decade ago,  I found it hard because all of my friends were at gay bars.  But being trans and fairly passable, I had to go to str8 clubs to meet guys.  It was an odd bifurcation.   
Title: Re: On Dating
Post by: Gertrude on April 11, 2018, 12:49:10 PM
If I was in the market, I wouldn't use a dating site. Too much pretense in that the purpose is to hook up a lot of times. It kind of short circuits the normal process of getting to know someone over time in circumstances that aren't solely focused on meeting someone. I would also suggest to anyone to work out their issues with a competent therapist before getting involved with someone. Most people don't understand the factors involved with their behavior and why and the consequences of whom they choose to relate with.  Change how you think and what you believe and you change how you feel. If someone doesn't want to change, then enjoy making the same mistakes.


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Title: Re: On Dating
Post by: Lady Sarah on April 11, 2018, 01:42:25 PM
I found my hubby on a dating site. BTW, I recommend using free ones such as okcupid. When you fill out your profile, be honest and forthcoming. Do not lie. Be sure to put in a key word that responders must use in their first message to you, just to be sure they actually read your profile. If they do not read it, they might feel you lied to them, and that can be dangerous.
When it came to the men I dated, I would chat / talk to them for a week before going on a first date. Most will ghost before the week is over, because they are not serious.