Lately in stores the sirs have all left HOORAY! But, quite a few people, in particular creepy old indian men, call me 'dear'. I don't mind that from women, but from men it feels downright wrong! Anyone else met this?
Quote from: krobinson103 on April 13, 2018, 11:06:33 AM
Lately in stores the sirs have all left HOORAY! But, quite a few people, in particular creepy old indian men, call me 'dear'. I don't mind that from women, but from men it feels downright wrong! Anyone else met this?
@krobinson103 : NO, NO, NO...
absolutely not a problem... "Dear" is a greeting that, at least in the USA, is feminine in nature and I don't mind at all being called "Dear" ... I have been called "honey" "hun" "sweetie" "darling" "dear" "sweetheart" "miss" "ma'am" "lady" "girl" and a few others... and by my female name... I absolutely am thrilled when I am addressed in any of those ways.
Danielle
I think you should ask yourself why you see a friendly person as creepy. :)
You can call me anything except late for dinner. ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
"Dear" is very common in Nova Scotia. It can be used by a woman to address men or women. Less commonly, it might be used by a man to address a woman. A man would never address another man as "dear". "Hun" is used the same way, and is almost as common. Both are more commonly used when addressing strangers than with friends.
I don't have a problem with a man addressing me as dear as long as no other actions set off the creep alarm. ( Weird looks, drunkenness, inappropriate comments, etc. ) I am a bus driver so I have seen all three.
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Interesting, something to get used to then I suppose. Thanks!
Men never call me dear. Only "miss" so far. Women have called me dear, sweetie, sweetheart, love, hon, honey. Even before transitioning as an obvious cis male I would get those terms sometimes. Now it's more likely.
I think it means your passing. Men are much harder to convince than women for sure.
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Previously I was selective with who I would call Dear but now I do it all the time. I wouldn't look upon the guy as being creepy at all, unless he was leering at you!
It doesn't bother me at all.
I've been called dear, sweetie, sweetheart, love along with usual mam, madam, miss along with one Oi Mrs!. To be honest I don't even notice it much anymore, after a while it all just becomes the norm, takes a little adjusting though. Still not use to having the door opened for me by men.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Dear is pretty common in the midwest as a polite term used towards women. At work I've been referred to as Darlin' by the male public quite frequently, too. There's also a woman who has a variety of cute terms for me when she comes in, starting with 'ladybug'. :D
Older guys call me dear all the time. It has never bothered me. Younger guys call me babe, baby, sweetie and sweetheart. I don't find any of those offensive either. What I do find offensive is being called Tristan's " old lady". A couple of times one of my brother's friends asked Tristan " where's your old lady"? He meant me! I just turned 20. I'm no-one's "old lady"! Ugh!
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 13, 2018, 09:31:04 PM
Older guys call me dear all the time. It has never bothered me. Younger guys call me babe, baby, sweetie and sweetheart. I don't find any of those offensive either. What I do find offensive is being called Tristan's " old lady". A couple of times one of my brother's friends asked Tristan " where's your old lady"? He meant me! I just turned 20. I'm no-one's "old lady"! Ugh!
LOL - "Old lady" just means girlfriend or wife, has nothing to do with age
I get called dear all the time too along with babe, baby, sweetie and sweetheart as well, The only thing that bugs me out is being called Dude or Man :P
Quote from: V M on April 13, 2018, 09:54:05 PM
LOL - "Old lady" just means girlfriend or wife, has nothing to do with age
I get called dear all the time too along with babe, baby, sweetie and sweetheart as well, The only thing that bugs me out is being called Dude or Man [emoji14]
Omg my one roommate calls me dude now and again... what is up with that!! And he knows I don't like him lol I confront him over petty stuff because honestly even his burping just annoys me
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Quote from: Allison S on April 13, 2018, 10:12:21 PM
Omg my one roommate calls me dude now and again... what is up with that!! And he knows I don't like him lol I confront him over petty stuff because honestly even his burping just annoys me
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Next time he calls you dude, respond "Yes ma'am". That might get the message across.
A lot of guys use dude a lot. My brother is one. He calls everyone Dude. He has been really good with not calling me " little dude", which is what he used to call me, since I transitioned. But he calls everyone else dude. My dad tells him he's not "dude" he's "dad". He also called my grandma dude once after she had told him once before not ever to call her that again, and she smacked him on the head with a wooden spoon. Lol. 😂😂
What cracks me up are the guys that totally drag it out "Duuuuuude!!!" :D
"Dear" is unisex and used by men and women
As I transitioned women who recognized my trans state started calling me dear and hun a lot as they tried to avoid the word sir. I appreciated that.
Men never call another man hun or dear so it is a move in the right direction even if you thought he was creepy. I have had similar feelings when I saw a guy staring at me. I am starting to think I get stared at because the guy might actually see just another woman.
I live in the southern US where many people will call you terms of endearment regardless of gender. I don't like it but I tolerate it, because so many people do it I got tired of telling them not to.
I've noticed that when interacting with older males (my age) like mechanics and contractors that some of them talk to me in a flirtatious manner using terms like dear and sweetheart, I flirt back sometimes and have gotten price breaks and stuff done for free.
Quote from: Julia1996 on April 14, 2018, 12:55:16 AM
A lot of guys use dude a lot. My brother is one. He calls everyone Dude. He has been really good with not calling me " little dude", which is what he used to call me, since I transitioned. But he calls everyone else dude. My dad tells him he's not "dude" he's "dad". He also called my grandma dude once after she had told him once before not ever to call her that again, and she smacked him on the head with a wooden spoon. Lol. 😂😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKYXmjfQY4U
creepy can be pretty obvious. I have to work on my 'that's not appropriate' responses.
We stopped at our dance club today to say hi to a few people. One guy I know comes over and gives me a hug. ok, some guys hug. he ended the hug with a handshake. Then comes the comment of how I'm looking good, and another hug.
creepy meter went up.
I stepped towards my wife a bit and we finished talking, no more hugs ... whew. Maybe it was me but I tend to trust my gut and it was turning over.