I had a very interesting conversation with my daughter on the weekend and she stirred up some thinking.
We all have a vision and goal for our own transitioning and I'm curious what others think.
My daughter has had bottom surgery but no facial work or trach shave etc. No voice therapy and no plans for it. She doesn't do much with her hair or makeup. She is happy this way but in her mind if you don't have bottom surgery your not complete.
I on the other hand work hard on my hair and makeup, nail polish etc. I like dressing nice and presenting nice. I on the other hand want voice therapy and an orchi but at present no intention of having bottom surgery. My penis has always been retracted and this fits fine with my vision. I am still a work in progress and open to future mind changes
We all have a goal and a vision.
What makes you happy and satisfied or are you still a work in progress with no final goal
Only things I want/need are orchie and hrt. The changes hrt have bought show that any further surgery is a waste of time and money, and I don't need a vagina to be happy.
I'm not open to SRS right now. I have a consultation in a couple months for FFS and hopefully an orchi. My hair I'm still growing out and I have nice waves/curls so I'm not sure I want to style it much and damage that. I just want it to grow long. Makeup is something I would love to get professionally done but on my own I just do casual eyes and lips. I still try to cover up my shadow which stinks [emoji17]
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My goals right now are HRT, hair removal, voice therapy and SRS. I don't feel that I would need FFS, BA, trach shave, etc to feel complete. Of course who knows how I might feel a year from now, two years from now, etc...
I want GRS, though I am thinking I will go for the zero-depth version. I, too, don't need a vagina to function, but I do need the junk gone. I have had some speech therapy, though my voice is still a work in progress. I think I will have a trachea shave at the same time as my GRS. I am not planning any FFS. I have thought about a hair transplant, but I likely cannot afford it, and it is doubtful that I have enough to transplant. Facial hair removal is still a work in progress. Body hair, fortunately, has been taken care of by HRT. I don't want BA; My little "A"s are within the plausible female range, so I'll take what HRT gives me.
I am not feeling stressed by my transition. HRT and presenting full-time are meeting most of my needs at the moment. There still are parts of me that I don't like seeing in the mirror.
HRT has transformed my body in wonderful ways -- but, unfortunately, only from the neck down (I am a freak of nature). I am nicely curvy now and love this new aspect of my changes. But for whatever reason, my face is still exactly the same. I would love FFS but will never afford it. I am sure I could pass fairly well if for that. Someday, I suppose.....
I am just four months in with my transition, so I just wait to see how much hormones change my body before the next step. I am not hurry to go anywhere. I just want to enjoy the ride.
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Like Meghan I'm 6 months and here for the ride that is hrt. Honestly I talk about ffs so early on because I've always been bothered by my brow bossing and collapsed nose (severe injury at 2 or 3 years old). It's mostly noticeable from the side of my face/profile. I always feel like no guy will like me for these features even before deciding I'm female and taking steps (hrt/hair removal) to transition. It's my deep seeded insecurity in myself...
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I want everything insurance can be made to pay for. If there is dysphoria in a stupid male-looking body part, I have it.
On the one hand, it sucks because I have to do a lot to tread water. on the other doing stuff does actually make me feel better, and less trapped all the time. (like, in a prison, you know?)
So all. Started with hair on face and upper chest (Got a deal from the girl at the laser place for that!), HRT (3 months today! Yea!) and continuing with wherever that leads based on what I can afford.
There are some things about surgery I like, other things I don't like, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm content drifting along without any surgically induced alterations. Anal is a solution for satisfying men. Penetration can satisfy a woman. I'm bisexual. I like to keep my choices optimal for both sex preferences. Transitioning for me goes as far as what estrogen will provide me with. Any improvements are greatly appreciated, and time will continue to mend this flower into something I can increasingly appreciate as I feel better about myself each day.
Whatever is possible to address the testosterone poisoning I endured. Literally, if it is (reasonably) possible, I want it. If I could re-sleeve myself like they do on Altered Carbon, I would. If I could be inserted into someone like they do on Travelers, I would. Save for something fantastic like that, I will pay out of pocket, use insurance, and take any pro bono work I can get. I have used all three thus far. :)
When I'm pregnant maybe that's far enough lol. It still might be possible! (without transplants). Life is fun if you can imagine future possibilities instead of limiting yourself to the here & now.
In fact, life IS transition. We continue to grow, strive for more (hopefully). To do otherwise its stagnation and boredom. So how much transition is enough? I'll never be done! I will continue to improve, learn more about myself, and be more until the day I'm no longer immortal :) :) :D ;)
Quote from: Doreen on April 17, 2018, 09:07:00 AM
When I'm pregnant maybe that's far enough lol. It still might be possible! (without transplants). Life is fun if you can imagine future possibilities instead of limiting yourself to the here & now.
In fact, life IS transition. We continue to grow, strive for more (hopefully). To do otherwise its stagnation and boredom. So how much transition is enough? I'll never be done! I will continue to improve, learn more about myself, and be more until the day I'm no longer immortal :) :) :D ;)
You learn something new every day, sometimes two.
Quote from: Doreen on April 17, 2018, 09:07:00 AM
When I'm pregnant maybe that's far enough lol. It still might be possible! (without transplants). Life is fun if you can imagine future possibilities instead of limiting yourself to the here & now.
In fact, life IS transition. We continue to grow, strive for more (hopefully). To do otherwise its stagnation and boredom. So how much transition is enough? I'll never be done! I will continue to improve, learn more about myself, and be more until the day I'm no longer immortal :) :) :D ;)
Pregnant. Pass, Already have two kids and the labor looked painful! Married as a women would be nice though.
Minor FFS and full SRS for me. Boobs are going to wait until I'm sure I'm done growing on my own. I'd rather avoid the pain of recovery if possible and they're kind of expensive.
My voice is fine after training so thankfully no surgery needed there.
I would jump at a stem cell ovary (or two) in a heartbeat. But we'll have to wait on that. The ability to get pregnant would be kind of neat but I'd much rather have a "real" vagina instead of a "make the best use of what you've got" one. But alas, science isn't that far along yet so I'll take what I can get.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on April 17, 2018, 09:24:46 AM
Minor FFS and full SRS for me. Boobs are going to wait until I'm sure I'm done growing on my own. I'd rather avoid the pain of recovery if possible and they're kind of expensive.
My voice is fine after training so thankfully no surgery needed there.
I would jump at a stem cell ovary (or two) in a heartbeat. But we'll have to wait on that. The ability to get pregnant would be kind of neat but I'd much rather have a "real" vagina instead of a "make the best use of what you've got" one. But alas, science isn't that far along yet so I'll take what I can get.
I still don't understand why surgeons aren't using the same technique they do for MRKH girls or Swyers variants that don't have a full vagina. The technique seems to be very effective in creating a vagina, one that functions like one. I think SRS surgeons are still stuck in the old 'penile inversion or bust' mentality. Maybe some day. I agree though in the stem cell approach 100%
Because it's tried and true, and the material is right there where they're working anyway. That's my guess anyway.
Too early to be certain of anything other than HRT which I started 10 weeks ago and Electrolysis (light hair hence no laser) and Voice Training which I am arranging shortly.
I suspect due to my age I will require BA but will wait till 2020/21 to witness HRT results.
Pamela
I have just been on HRT for about a month and a half but I know me. I will need minor FFS a facelift, trachea shave and possible hair transplant if nothing comes back. My penis is fine with me as long as I can figure out a comfortable way to "tuck" I still act and feel like I'm in my twenty's and I know once "Chelsea" comes out I will dress that way as a woman. Anything they can possibly do to turn back the years for me. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I have always been androgynous and happy with it. My entire life I was always being miss gendered, really didn't bother me. I have no issues with the way I look and don't need anything done except the removal of nonfunctional male parts, don't need a vagina either. I will always be a work in progress on some level because that is how we become happy. Striving for happiness is not just good for the individual but for all of society. Don't be selfish with your happiness, share it with the world. [emoji847]
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I would like to get away with as little surgical stuff as possible (who doesn't?), but I know that orchiectomy is something I want. I also don't like my eyebrows, as I think they appear close to my eyes which makes me think my eyes look very masculine.
The difference is that I can do the orchiectomy with local anesthesia, but if I want to get surgery done on my face I would have to go under (which I hate).
At a later stage, I would also maybe get SRS done (it depends on how I feel after the orchiectomy). However, I know that sexual reassignment surgeries in Europe range from "okay" to "plain bad" and I've read a bunch of testimonials from European transwomen who've gotten SRS with a local surgeon and ended up having to come back for one or two more "reconstructive surgeries". It seems like Thailand is still the best option when it comes to SRS.
But in the end, I don't think it really matters what I have to say. I don't think people are even going to read this reply, since this is a personal question.
I want to finish my hair removal, FFS, voice therapy (and if necessary, surgery), and vaginoplasty. I currently can't afford any of these except voice therapy and hair removal (and my HRT of course.)
Hey Gallo. Of course this is being read. It very interesting so far in that there are so many variations of trans people along the path between male and female and all of them have such different goals or ideas. None are right or wrong they are just who we chose to be as individuals.
It shows such a great and wide diversity to be enjoyed and accepted.
My thoughts are always in flux about this and only today I was looking at how I would look with a brow lift to open up my eyes more.
Quote from: pamelatransuk on April 18, 2018, 06:40:38 AM
Too early to be certain of anything other than HRT which I started 10 weeks ago and Electrolysis (light hair hence no laser) and Voice Training which I am arranging shortly.
I suspect due to my age I will require BA but will wait till 2020/21 to witness HRT results.
Pamela
Don't sell yourself short on the powers of HRT. I'm 62 and growing girls way faster than expected
And the look and feel great. Your early into HRT and everyone reacts differently. Give it some time and your body may surprise you.
It depends on whether we look at today and the layers I am working on, vs what I dream about.
I can't go through a day without imagining going all the way, especially when I meet other cis women who I respect and admire. I wish my body and manners and voice will all aligned to how I feel inside.
Practically, I am working on laser and electrolysis, hair line, nails, and maybe hormones - to try and deal with my daily anxiousness and dysphoria. I am buying more clothes to feel complete and special. We'll see how far I need to or can take it.
As you can see the two are in conflict, which is a point of stress when I layer in my career, friends and family...which leads to wishing it would all just go away. Hmmm
How's that for an unclear answer...
Karen
Took another step forward yesterday. Got my injection of eligard and T should be at zero by the first of week. It was 14.8 in October and 8.4 a week ago on HRT alone.
Go back in three months to make sure 0 is working for me and get the second shot. An orchi will be booked at that visit and that shot will hold me until the boys are in a jar.
I'm looking forward to it and it's another item that wasn't on my radar last fall. Interesting how your ideal vision can keep changing.
I agree this is personal and not going to be the same for everyone but it definitely helps me reading everyone's personal experiences/thoughts.
I am 121 days on HRT today, and today was my 57th electrolysis session. I am living full time since last fall, although up until about 4 weeks ago I was really struggling with my facial hair and not being able to shave for my 3 x weekly appointments. I felt like a fraud and hated not being me those days and gained the confidence, finally, to be me all the time! Facial hair, warts and all.
I have a really deep voice and am having surgery in May to help. I have just decided this week to have an orchiectomy after meeting with my psychiatrist so hopefully will have that before the end of the year. I am on a waiting list for my 2nd opinion as of this week also which will be in the next 3 months I'm told. I have been fully convinced all along that I wanted full GCS, but now I am wondering if an orchi will do? I don't plan on having penetrative sex, so I don't know for sure anymore. I do know I'm happy, and lucky to have a supportive family and enjoying life as Brandi :)
Quote from: BrandiYYC on April 20, 2018, 07:11:51 PM
I agree this is personal and not going to be the same for everyone but it definitely helps me reading everyone's personal experiences/thoughts.
I am 121 days on HRT today, and today was my 57th electrolysis session. I am living full time since last fall, although up until about 4 weeks ago I was really struggling with my facial hair and not being able to shave for my 3 x weekly appointments. I felt like a fraud and hated not being me those days and gained the confidence, finally, to be me all the time! Facial hair, warts and all.
I have a really deep voice and am having surgery in May to help. I have just decided this week to have an orchiectomy after meeting with my psychiatrist so hopefully will have that before the end of the year. I am on a waiting list for my 2nd opinion as of this week also which will be in the next 3 months I'm told. I have been fully convinced all along that I wanted full GCS, but now I am wondering if an orchi will do? I don't plan on having penetrative sex, so I don't know for sure anymore. I do know I'm happy, and lucky to have a supportive family and enjoying life as Brandi :)
I can relate. I'm happy that I don't need full srs at this point. I do want orchie to be free of spiro though. After that, I've pretty much achieved what I set out to achieve. :)
I have had srs, ba and ffs. My srs has been amazing, I have clitoral and deep vagina orgasms. As a female tg I continue to transiton mentally and physically. I follow the path of cis women, constant facials treatments, stem cell and laser to try and ward off the inevitable aging. Now 70 years old and feel like my forties.
Well you look great for 70 so you must be doing something right
I will be satisfied once I gain breasts and lose the d*** :icon_censored: although I am not sure on the second one. I have been on hrt for 3 years and the breast growth was disappointing.
I was taking spiro, dutasteride, and progesterone, but stopped all of those to experiment, and see how I fair on just estradiol alone. I'm not disappointed as of yet. A slight-moderate increase in sex drive, but other than that... I feel fine. Will be doing blood work in a few days, will post back with the results. This is completely experimental. I want to know for myself personally whether or not all that extra stuff is actually expendable without sacrificing results. I have plenty of it available to me, so availability is not a concern. If I have great blood test results, I might just roll with this, but if things are a bit off, I'll continue back to my regularly scheduled broadcast.
Quote from: ainsley on April 17, 2018, 08:56:48 AM
Whatever is possible to address the testosterone poisoning I endured. Literally, if it is (reasonably) possible, I want it. If I could re-sleeve myself like they do on Altered Carbon, I would. If I could be inserted into someone like they do on Travelers, I would. Save for something fantastic like that, I will pay out of pocket, use insurance, and take any pro bono work I can get. I have used all three thus far. :)
I had the same thought watching that show!
When I started this journey I didn't think I would want bottom surgery. The farther I got into things (nearly five months on HRT now) the more I changed my mind. I started at "naw" then got to "maybe" and now I'm at "absolutley"
HRT has been a huge plus, but I think what was equally important was laser treatments. I have had it over much of my body now.
I started HRT too late in life, my male baldness pattern was beyond help. After my time in the service wearing a hat or a helmet all the time I just HATE having anything on my head that is uncomfortable. SO, wigs are out for me. I have had laser treatment on my scalp twice and will have a third in a few weeks. Between that and removal of facial hair I have reduced my "guyness" quite a bit. I will never pass, but laser has helped me feel much more comfortable with my appearance.
Oh, and I would like a trachea shave but the idea scares me a bit too much!
At this point I've started hrt quite a while ago, did some voice training to get it even lower and in a more typically masculine tone, and had top surgery almost as long ago. Now I'm aiming for getting a hysto as well, but I've always been on and off and hesitant about SRS.
At this time I'm fine with my vagina as it is and don't wish to change it, but I've had much worse dysphoria about it before. So, realistically I'm most likely gonna consider myself officially post-transition after my hysto.
However on a less realistic note if I can ever afford to in the future as it's not covered by the state/insurance here, I'd very much want lipo on my wide hips/thighs as that is and has always been something I've been very dysphoric about. I know exercising can change it (at least theoretically) but not permanently. It would be good if I can deal with that anguish eventually.
And I'd get a chin implant too if I could afford, but that is a more minor source of dysphoria for me. It's nagging at me, but managable with a beard.
After today's counselling section I'm starting to feel like I may want bottom surgery after all. I'm fairly certain that it will be a zero depth vaginoplasty though. I don't really need a neo-vagina as
Sex doesn't interest me. This seems like something I may research and talk to Dr Ted about when I see him later this year.
Speech therapy, finally finding a gender therapist , and an orchi ( I'm tired of the pain down there every morning. Darn Spiro. )
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Quote from: Donna on April 18, 2018, 01:51:24 PM
Don't sell yourself short on the powers of HRT. I'm 62 and growing girls way faster than expected
And the look and feel great. Your early into HRT and everyone reacts differently. Give it some time and your body may surprise you.
Quote from: Donna on April 24, 2018, 09:56:12 PM
After today's counselling section I'm starting to feel like I may want bottom surgery after all. I'm fairly certain that it will be a zero depth vaginoplasty though. I don't really need a neo-vagina as Sex doesn't interest me.
Thank you Donna. Your first comment above inspires me. I do have great hope in HRT.
Again into the future and this time definitely not before 2020, I may also consider cosmetic or ZD vaginoplasty.
Hugs
Pamela
If I were younger, and it were possible, I would have my own babies too.
My testosterone went from 14 ng/dL to 26 ng/dL, but I actually enjoy having a little bit more testosterone in my system. I'm a lot more driven to find love now which fuels me with motivation to improve myself even further. I also feel and look very feminine, so there is indeed a sweet spot between too much and too little. Androgen blockers may not be a necessary thing for some of us whom fair well without them.
I haven't begun transitioning yet, but if I do transition I would want bottom surgery because I have always wanted to have a vagina. Until I get one it feels like something is missing, along with a few other feminine qualities.
More and more looking like zero depth vaginoplasty will fit me fine. A new idea and I've discussed it with my wife is when I've stabilized my weight and the girls have settled at a size if they aren't to my liking I'd like to do augmentation. Maybe a G would be good for my build.
Zero depth vagina = pretty kitty...without the hassle of a litter box. 8)
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2018, 05:43:49 PM
Zero depth vagina = pretty kitty...without the hassle of a litter box. 8)
Ha ha! :D
Devlyn, that is too funny :)
My thoughts about what I would do verses what I wanted to do aligned the longer I was on HRT. I will be 5 years on HRT in 4 days.
At this point forward I am recovering from glottoplasty last week then some facial skin tightening and some vaso lypo and perhaps tummy skin tightening. I may do a 3rd round of hair follicle transplants but I am on the fence on that.
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2018, 05:43:49 PM
Zero depth vagina = pretty kitty...without the hassle of a litter box. 8)
You as I have said before are just way to much fun.
It's really interesting(and sometimes funny!) to hear everyone's and yes also to Gaylo, people do often read entire threads, or at least I do.
I'm so early in my transition, that I think things are bound to change, heck Donna's opinion seems to have changed within this thread already anyway!
I think a big worry of mine is financial fears, and I am reasoning with myself that as long as I look and feel feminine, then I don't need to go any further. And for me, that means HRT, but no surgeries. The only kind of laser I'm thinking I might get is on my chest.
I am fine with keeping my original genitalia(I really enjoy tucking, it's not uncomfortable at all!) but right now the idea of having a vagina doesn't seem appealing to me. That also used to be because I was like, "Oh, well I'm not going to use it for sex, so there's no reason for it." First of all, I honestly don't know if I would never use it for sex, and I now understand what the zero-depth ones means. So, I guess only time will tell.
But definitely, HRT, I want to get on that coaster so bad that I'm standing on my tippy-toes!
Donna- I too don't have much of an interest in sex and haven't since my first marriage 40+ years ago. I am satisfied having only HRT as it is healing my mind. If I were 20 I would be looking into fixing everything and maybe find men attractive. Obviously a lifetime of others sexual mores dominating my ability to transition. I developed coping mechanisms that made me seem dudeish. But Jo and I have been together 35 years and we enjoy the simpler things in life like snuggling in front of the fireplace and having a conversation. Or playing board games with the kids.
I love the fact that we are all free to be flexible in our final outcome. And I for one have had many stages of change of mind. As simple as not having an interest in dresses in December to being my favourite clothing item now.
Quote from: Eryn T on May 25, 2018, 01:51:44 AM
It's really interesting(and sometimes funny!) to hear everyone's and yes also to Gaylo, people do often read entire threads, or at least I do.
I'm so early in my transition, that I think things are bound to change, heck Donna's opinion seems to have changed within this thread already anyway!
I think a big worry of mine is financial fears, and I am reasoning with myself that as long as I look and feel feminine, then I don't need to go any further. And for me, that means HRT, but no surgeries. The only kind of laser I'm thinking I might get is on my chest.
I am fine with keeping my original genitalia(I really enjoy tucking, it's not uncomfortable at all!) but right now the idea of having a vagina doesn't seem appealing to me. That also used to be because I was like, "Oh, well I'm not going to use it for sex, so there's no reason for it." First of all, I honestly don't know if I would never use it for sex, and I now understand what the zero-depth ones means. So, I guess only time will tell.
But definitely, HRT, I want to get on that coaster so bad that I'm standing on my tippy-toes!
The HRT roller coaster has been an absolute thrill ride for me. I have never felt so good with life and myself. You should enjoy it immensely.
The journey has changed again for me. They have cancelled
My pre-op for the orchi on July 23. It's better news as it is now only 19 days away on June 14th.
HAPPY, HAAPY, HAPPY
Donna, good luck to you; June 14th will be here quickly.
Quote from: Karen_A on May 26, 2018, 09:54:28 AM
Your DNA is what it is and can't be changed... Unless you have significant physical indications of having an intersex condition, your DNA is almost certainly XY.
What would you do if you do have it tested and it turns out to be XY? What would you change? Same question if it was XX... Wouldn't you be doing the same things in either case?
All you can do is be the person you want to be as best you can and live your life that way.
I understand how validating it would be to find out one was XX with an intersex condition , but either way you have to deal with being born with a physical condition that does not match who you are, and you ARE dealing with it... and you need to learn to accept yourself either way as a legitimate female ... that does not come from DNA.
- Karen
I think some trans women feel that being intersexed would be proof to themselves and others that there is indeed a physical cause of their condition, since their DNA is part female. So, this may or may not make it easier for an intersexed trans woman to socially transition; however, most of the intersexed trans women I have seen look like they had a sufficient amount of testosterone in their system to fully masculinize their face and body, so they are really no better off transition wise than a trans woman with xy DNA.
Thanks Devlyn. Appreciate you stepping in. I take no offence that it went a little off the rails and I would just like to suggest taking things like this to PM. Thanks everyone for everything said so far.
I would rather not see this get shut down by the mods
It's okay to share different views on how we perceive reality, but perhaps reduce the intensity of it if it's making others feel uncomfortable. ^^ Carrying on the topic: I don't need a vaginoplasty to feel "woman", because I don't view myself as entirely woman. I fall somewhere in the middle mentally speaking. Girl ----- Me ----- Guy
That itself is not a full proof reason to not get bottom surgery, as I don't have to be fully kitty to enjoy the possible benefits of having a litter box. My biggest pet peeve is current technology doesn't entirely please my aesthetic mind. Couple that with the fact that most of the GCS performing surgeons in my area have terrible reputations and you get a big NO coming from my end. XD
I also love to poke holes just as much as I like my holes to be poked. Perhaps that's TMI? Lol. Whoops.
This is the great part of sharing respectfully our opinions. We can all learn from each other. No one is right and no one is wrong we all just do it our way and those way are always in flux. I am still torn and going back and forth now between a zero depth or a just going smooth. Think ken or Barbie doll.
I live female I think female I feel female I express female I dress female and I am female and what's in my pants is me no matter what it looks like as long as the first part is always the most important part to me.
I'm aiming to in order laser hair removal, dressing 24/7, - balls, + boobs, and then - shaft in that order. I am not intending on a vagina, and am undecided on the tracheal shave but it might be nice as I have a thin neck. Fingers and legs crossed!
There's something so empowering being a chick with a tool. :-*