Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel very excited and honored to be here among this incredibly vast pool of knowledge and have asense of belonging I hope to learn much from you all and hopefully I can contribute also. I carryed this confused feeling since earliest memories.
.I grew up in a strict Catholic house in the 60s and was horribly shamed by my parents both physical and psychological I am now in my late 50s and and am at the doorstep of HRT and don't feel like the weird freak my parents imprinted into me every time they'd find my stash of clothes  I was physically beaten worse but of course I couldn't stop  even when beatings got worse, but  my feelings persisted to this point of feeling not the freak my parents im printed into me I was at that time going to a Catholic School feeling completely out of place it took all this time till now to break free of the horrible scorning and humiliation my parents put me through but I am now at the door step of h r t hoping to interact and learn with all of you. Love Tatiana

Hello Tatiana,  Thank you for introducing yourself.  I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)	Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)	Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)	News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)	Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

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Hi Tatiana  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Welcome. I'm sorry you had such a tortuous upbringing. You should be proud that you were able to overcome the psychological damage. Best of luck.

Hi Tatiana, welcome to Susan's Place! After what you've endured throughout your upbringing, now is the time to start feeling proud of who you are. :)

 Thanks everyone for welcoming me to such a wonderful place love you all Tatiana

Hi Tatiana 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
I sorry you had such an unloving experience from those who espouse a religion based on love.  I'm glad you have found a way to find yourself.  Even later on in life one can have a more fulfilling life.  I too started later, at 61, and I've never felt better.  We are not the only ones here on Susan's at this stage in our lives.  Lots of different paths have been taken and many experiences shared.

I see Danielle (she is so sweet) has welcomed you and given you some links to the site rules and other useful tips.  Pay attention to the one highlighted in red.  It has answers to commonly asked questions.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Thanks so much jessica for your reassuring words I know I'm brand new here and will take your advice and read Daniels suggested links to read. I would imagine my unfamiliarity and excitement is causing me to make some errors because this is the first social network I've ever been on thanks again for your help I'm going to go check those links out right now. Love you Tatiana

Welcome to the site Tatiana.  I too, from personal experience, understand the negative effects of the Roman Catholic Church's culture of anti-LGBT (understatement). You are not a freak. It's 100% totally natural. But you are here now and that's what really matters. At the doorstep of female HRT.  Congratulations. You. Are. Going. To. Love. It.

Thanks Jane for telling me I'm not a freak I sure felt that way most of my life and it repressed my development very much. The 12 years I spent in a Catholic School made me feel very alone and unaccepted. I have been looking at your previous post and find them very deep insightful and very inspirational. Looking forward to possibly talking to you in the future.   All the best to you love Tatiana.

Hello Tatiana - your story resonated very deeply with me. I was beaten repeatedly as a child, humiliated in public by my family etc....and all in the name of Christianity as well...not the Catholic flavor but still...I am super happy to see you are doing what needs to be done. As a fellow traveler on this road, I wish you the best!


xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Alyssa

Hello Alyssa
Thank you for your reply and yes indeed it sounds like we had a similar upbringing but doesn't it feel good to now crack out of that shell and try and live your life free. I would bet a lot of churches would shun us but I always think what would Jesus do certainly not shun us  but accept us  and all that society considers different. I'm so glad you made it here despite being imprinted different from your youth.
     
   I hope you find everything you're looking for and more know that you are among your own kind now with your second family
  Best wishes love Tatiana

I am sorry to hear how you were treated.  That makes me so sad!  No one deserves to go through physical and mental torment for just being who they are.  You're right.  Jesus loves everyone!  Those who judge others and claim to be christian are not living as Jesus intended us to live.

I'm glad you're on the cusp of HRT and glad you found Susan's place! <3

I'll admit I'm a freak but it has nothing to do with my gender.
Normal is boring.  Don't be normal, be yourself! :)

Thanks Jacey

For your many kind  words I really didn't know how bad I had it until I seen the national geographic documentry called gender revolution which I would recommend very much. It showed a 4 year old telling her mother that in her mind and heart she was a female even though she she had male genetalia the parents accepted this and supportive her and buy her a closet full of clothes which was just a awesome that's about the same thing I told my mom at that age and got called every name in the book and then the rubber hose from my dad. It took me a half a century to crack out in the shell that they imprinted in me but here I am.
  The second half-life of your post sounds just like my wife who is a punk rocker with a very anti normal position she loves freaks and loves unique people  and still that way today she is my greatest asset and is my flag waiver and Iove her very much . I feel you 2 would get along it maybe someday in the future we can all have a talk.

  Best wishes love Tatiana

Hey Tatiana!

You can't really (and shouldn't) hide yourself away! I'm so sorry for the mistreatment you endured when you were younger, but it's great that you're a part of the Susans community now!

I wish nothing but the best for you, girl! And keep me in the loop on what's going on, please!

My views exactly im from the north west and would like to know if any of you are from that area, as I would be interested in meeting up with any groups in the area, relatively close to blackpool. Need to come out dressed.

Hi Tatiana

I just want to say you have found a wonderful support base for what ever challenges you may face. I may be a new member but originally joined here about 2007. I have long ago forgotten which email ,user name etc i had back then. I have to say with out this resource i probably would have given up back then. So i guess im writing this to thank you for joining, to thank you for becoming part of one of the most positive influences i personally have had in my learning and in gaining self confidence to just be me. I grew up in a catholic/Methodist home so i truely understand what its like to be told your a freak or abomination.  The truth is it wasent until i just excepted who i am that i was finally able to be free. Now a days im only a freak in the sheets and am so glad i defied what i was told was so wrong. Seems kt was the only right thing ,at least for me.

Welcome Tatiana

 Gosh everyone I'm getting a little teary-eyed over your loving caring responses.
Your support is priceless and I can't even describe it in words.
And to Eryn I sure will try my best to keep you in the loop please keep me in yours
I have never experienced this level of unconditional support I am so blown away by this it's kind of like magic.
Love you all very much Tatiana

Quote from: Tatiana 79 on April 20, 2018, 10:23:04 AM
I feel very excited and honored to be here among this incredibly vast pool of knowledge and have asense of belonging I hope to learn much from you all and hopefully I can contribute also. I carryed this confused feeling since earliest memories.
.I grew up in a strict Catholic house in the 60s and was horribly shamed by my parents both physical and psychological I am now in my late 50s and and am at the doorstep of HRT and don't feel like the weird freak my parents imprinted into me every time they'd find my stash of clothes  I was physically beaten worse but of course I couldn't stop  even when beatings got worse, but  my feelings persisted to this point of feeling not the freak my parents im printed into me I was at that time going to a Catholic School feeling completely out of place it took all this time till now to break free of the horrible scorning and humiliation my parents put me through but I am now at the door step of h r t hoping to interact and learn with all of you. Love Tatiana

Welcome Tatiana,                 03 May 2018

You are safe here and among good friends. Your story is familiar, I can feel your pain; abusive parents, beatings, Catholic school, evil nuns, alcoholic parents, on and on. You're free now so be who and what you want to be. It's never too late to transition. Best of luck, enjoy your progress and journey; it's a lot of fun and you have every right to be happy.

Best Always,
Christine

 Thanks so much Christine
And for telling me I'm not too old it took me about a half a century to crack out of the shell that my parents imprinted on me but you know what they say better late than never and here I am I hope to suck in every moment of the journey.
This is all I have ever wanted to be in life and being here with everyone's loving support I now have hope for the future and has always been my lifelong dream but now that dream turns into reality.
I hope that all your dreams come true.
   love Tatiana

Quote from: Tatiana 79 on May 03, 2018, 08:38:03 PM
Thanks so much Christine
And for telling me I'm not too old it took me about a half a century to crack out of the shell that my parents imprinted on me but you know what they say better late than never and here I am I hope to suck in every moment of the journey.
This is all I have ever wanted to be in life and being here with everyone's loving support I now have hope for the future and has always been my lifelong dream but now that dream turns into reality.
I hope that all your dreams come true.
   love Tatiana

Tatiana,             03 May 2018

You are still a young chick and have a joyous life ahead of you being the woman/lady you already are. Life is full of obstacles; some people use them for stumbling blocks, others use them as stepping stones. I will soon be 78 years young; I started my transition in March of this year. I am enjoying every minute of it. I have had fun outing myself; so far, everyone has been supportive, even total strangers. I have found the younger generation is very accepting and supportive, unlike our parents generation.

You obviously suffered horrible abuse; no one deserves that. We cannot undo what has happened but we can go forward and never let it happen again. I am happy that your wife is completely supportive; you are lucky to have her and she will enjoy traveling along the transgender highway with you.

Find good consolers, ones that have a lot of MTF experience. Doctors are important; consolers should have good recommendations available. If anyone seems to be placing obstacles in your path through transition, use them as stepping stones to find someone else. Take charge of your journey; it's your life, your body, your future and your happiness.

Please keep a thread going with your progress. Don't be afraid to ask questions. There are folks here that have experienced similar abuse. This site is so important it should be declared a "National Treasure," which it is.

Last but not least, remember, everyone here is your friend. Love yourself.

Best Always; Love,
Christine

Dear Christine
Your wise words of wisdom were tremendously inspirational to me, as if sent by an angel from above.
My biggest stumbling block here is using the technology that is far beyond my ability as I'm sure of lot of you have perceived but this is certainly not enough to stop me now that my eyes have been opened.
Your words of reassurance felt like wrapping up in a warm blanket on a cold night. I am going to use this as a pivot point in my life I'm tired of living in this depressive hole and merely want to become more functional for now I really don't care what I look like or what others think I merely want to change my life as I always wanted from earliest memories. I know that I am barking up the right tree now and am receiving much therapy from you all. I don't think any one would stop receiving treatment for any disease when they know it was really working this is how I feel.
I already feel a change in my head has started as my wife would agree due to all of your acceptance and love. I am really looking forward to writing this new chapter in my life I'm tired of just stagnating waiting around for death thanks to all of you I now have hope for the future when just a few weeks ago I really had none. Please know that your words really made me feel better and I hope to get to know you better in the future.
All the very best to you love Tatiana

Im sorry for the teary eyes guys and gals. I just say it as i see it or lived it. I do not except (3) things in my life. I dont except failure, excuses or the belief that as true human beings one is greater, superior or better then another. It is the last mentality that caused the dark ages, the jewish and american holocausts and transgendered people to have to fight to just take a pee in the right bathroom. Just so you guys no, im no victim. And you want to know what, none of us are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. No one can let us down but ourselves and sometimes we just need a good kick in the tush to get our minds right for the given situation. Other times we need someone to help us lift ourselves up to be on our feet to stand and be counted. I may be harsh at times, i may seem cold or in disconnect but i assure you all, i opperate out of love. Love for all my peoples. I dont care if your red yellow black or white, if your gat straight trans lesbian or if your Republican or Democrat. I have global family mentallity,  its about inclusion not exclusion and one thing i cant stand is a bully. Ive spent my life hunting down bullies and beating them up eaither in the physical world or legal arena. By the way. Im a ex SWAT Officer, know both state and federal law very well and was up for the medal of valor recieced multiple accomidations for everything from presidential duty to community service and saving of lives during critical incidents. And all of that is to say, im here for each and every one of you anyway i can be. See one who acts out of love is selfless and therefore is never controled by ego or super ego and is far beyond idd. Its a transcendence of the conscious. Perceptions change , failures become blessings of enormous wealth and knoledge. Anyway let me get off my soap box lol love you all

 Hello Freely sweet
sorry for not getting back to you I really appreciate your response to me and I feel it only fair that I respond to you for your kindness.

My wife and I read through your response and really feel that you're a awesomely free thinking individual for someone that had a structured past such as you mentioned as being a member of SWAT. You must have had this open minded free-spirited  individualism from youth I would imagine, but yet as we read through your eloquent words we feel the same as you my friend.
Spartacus one said, well at least the series, all who draw breath are of equal worth. I think we would both agree on this attitude.
  I think that that's why we both gravitated to this site.
All the best to your future love Tatiana

Hi Tatiana, and welcome!  I'm new here too, and like yourself I find myself among my own people.  Reading other posts and getting feedback on mine has made me realize that I'm not alone and not the only who feels the way I do.  Again, welcome and know that you are not alone!!!

Quote from: Tatiana 79 on April 30, 2018, 09:33:00 PM
Thanks Jacey

  The second half-life of your post sounds just like my wife who is a punk rocker with a very anti normal position she loves freaks and loves unique people  and still that way today she is my greatest asset and is my flag waiver and Iove her very much . I feel you 2 would get along it maybe someday in the future we can all have a talk.

  Best wishes love Tatiana

Perhaps!  She sounds like my kind of people! :)

Hello Danielle Kristina

Thanks so much for your reassuring words. I hope your enjoying Susans very much.
It's such a vast amount of knowledge and caring people it kind of staggering.
Like you said, we are with our own kind now, ready to explore other members experiences
That can benefit us tremendously, and better yet have a feeling of belonging.

Hope to talk to you in the future. All the best to you   love Tatiana