Okay, I have had a rash of misgenderings for the last week or so, including one guy who seems to think it is a joke to misgender me. So tomorrow I do a social experiment. I am gonna dressing as hot as I am able given the fact that I do lifting in my job and sometimes have to move fast. I have to see if it makes any difference. Usually an occasional slip up doesn't bother me but when I get a rash of them, I get frustrated, and it hurts. I never wear eye makeup, but tomorrow I pull out all the stops. B#tch is on a mission!
Monica
You go girl!
Go for it girl. We can all be a bitch when required. Hope your experiment works and it should be interesting to see how it goes. I really hate deliberate misgendering, it is hurtful but you can't let them see that. Use it to grow stronger
Sorry this happened to you. Been there myself and had pretty much the same reaction: Big meeting at a customer and the account manager kept calling me "he" on all the preparation calls (everyone else used she). At the morning of the meeting, I got an email from him, referring to me as Sarah and He. So I had it and found a really short skirt, heels 👠, makeup and got all dressed up; still business like but he had no chance to call me a "he" in that outfit. He got lucky on other occasions I might have pulled off quite a SL**T / B***H look (which surprised a few people)
Oh... You can borrow the "BABES UNITE" sweater I just bought if you want 😂
How on earth are you being misgengered? You're so female it radiates all of Susan's!
Do IT! Do It! Do It! And I want to see the pictures. Get your "Lookin Good!!" on and go for it girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
School holidays mean I have my kids with me and my wife is away. So I can't go anywhere without taking them. Of course I get Daddy all the time. Asked them to use Korean, eldest does, youngest refuses. Got so sick of being called sir I just go out as fem as possible and I can be daddied all you like and no one is going to call me sir. Dad doesn't have curves and sticky out breasts especially if you bring attention to them.
Moni,
Go for it - Rock it Girl !
Nikki
You go girl!
Rock your look, Moni! And Laurie is right, we need pictures. :)
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 26, 2018, 09:44:14 PM
How on earth are you being misgengered? You're so female it radiates all of Susan's!
The one guy is doing it on purpose so he's just an ->-bleeped-<-. I'm guessing everyone else knew her before and just aren't trying very hard.
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 26, 2018, 08:52:48 PM
Okay, I have had a rash of misgenderings for the last week or so, including one guy who seems to think it is a joke to misgender me. So tomorrow I do a social experiment. I am gonna dressing as hot as I am able given the fact that I do lifting in my job and sometimes have to move fast. I have to see if it makes any difference. Usually an occasional slip up doesn't bother me but when I get a rash of them, I get frustrated, and it hurts. I never wear eye makeup, but tomorrow I pull out all the stops. B#tch is on a mission!
Monica
Go Moni, Go... take some pics and send them to me!?
Love ya...
I'm so here for this [emoji4][emoji122]
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Hi Monica, I think from your profile picture you look beautiful! Please update us with how things went.
I learned a few things today. I made a point, but at the expense of not being true to who I am. I don't want to show any pictures of today because it really isn't me in any picture I could take. I am not good at being pretty. I am not comfortable being in eye makeup with earrings, short skirt and panty hose. Well, at least not as I did it today. I pushed it. I am pretty good at being me. I am the girl next day, laying on top of the fridge with a warm smile kind of girl. At my best, once in a while I can attain 'cute.' I have no glamour in my soul and I'm okay with that.
I found out some positive and negative. People do ask about me as to whether I am male or female to other people at work. I was told that. I appreciated this person's honesty. I am at a level of not being stared at or called Sir in restaurants or in stores. My voice is an issue and there are certainly some visual male aspects left in me to wonder about which gender I am. I was called beautiful, pretty, very nice, all from different people. The only compliment that I took to heart is that apparently I have nice legs. This I heard over and over and in a way that was believable. I accepted the comments graciously but with an eye to the fact that this was nice people being nice. I will continue to work on my look. I asked myself why do I care. The honest answer is that it is me not wanting to explain my existence to people to get respect. I just want to live my life as me and be given a certain respect for being a woman, like the pronouns.
Was my mission accomplished? I don't know yet. The one person who I mentioned who misgenders me , seems to like me and is friendly with me. He is great with the kids I work with, so I don't think he is a jerk. Ignorant I might say. I think he is confused by me. Maybe if I explained my existence again, he might 'get' it. I don't want to have to do that. It is my personal business. I already stated my pronouns. Do I really have to say I'm a woman, I transitioned, bla bla bla. I could tell my life story and maybe gain a bit of understanding, but at what cost?
You ladies were wonderfully supportive so I wanted to respond even though I'm mentally and physically exhausted tonight. I don't know if this is relateable. I may not be expressing this well.
Monica
Great experiment and good for you in pushing the envelope. Some people like to try to act as societal antibodies; drawing attention to anyone that is not mainstream. Who knows why they do it, probably because they feel powerless in their own situations. The world moves around them and leaves them behind. They don't have to be jerks to do this.
It could be a number of things ranging from their own suppressed ideas to just being non-informed. You don't know how many people i have had to educate, it can get numbing at times.
Monica,
Hun, I am glad you did what you did. I know it made you uncomfortable and went beyond what you want to do. It is okay that you didn't post pictures because like you said it was not you, not the Monica I know and love. But I give you credit for getting up the gumption to do it. I love you for who you are girl. But I do think with some practice you could rock that look if you wanted to. Yes, yes I know you are more comfy in Farmer's bib overalls and barefoot in the kitchen, but hey, a girl needs to strut her stuff once in a while!
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you ladies. :) :) I woke up this morning and thought, "Oh gosh, what did I write on Susan's last night." I was so exhausted! I wrote a lot of stuff about looks, my looks, and I immediately thought, "How vain are you, Moni?" We all hear well intentioned comments about that we shouldn't care what others think. In a perfect world, "Yeah!" but it isn't reality for most. I do care, but as I saw yesterday, I don't care enough to be someone I'm not. Like I said, it was an experiment or mission. It gave me a chance to talk to a few folks when they asked why I was dressed up. Maybe it made a statement that, "Yes, my existence is as a woman." The one woman, who is really very kind but not always 'on the ball' was someone I spoke to. I said the reason I dressed up was that I was tired of being misgendered. I had tried a few times to correct her in the past, explain, but the next time, there she goes again. She was like, "Yes one of those people is probably me. I will have to try harder." I replied, "Yeah, I would appreciate it. It really does hurt when I hear it."
I do feel good for taking action to try to do something. It was better to try to take control of the situation then sit there getting upset and mad.
Moni
Love you too Loraine! >:-) Robyn, I don't know the why's behind their misgendering. Some are very kind, accepting people. Thank you to all who posted with support. You are awesome! :)
Oh Gheeeeze, I try to me nice one time and what does she do? She gets my name wrong!! How can she do that to me? I mean I tried extra hard to be nice... Didn't I? I even looked up her name so I could get it right.. Whateva!
Well done , same as you I need to give some of the customers a bigger hint , had one today that wanted to look at his car on the lift. After a load of "mate" I managed to get in that I had chipped my nail varnish ( bright green and he didn't notice) so I said MEN are so unobservant. Still didn't sink in. Will have to start putting on more make up as work uniform is polo and work trousers (pants to you!) so skirt is out (I would if I could).
Quote from: Laurie on April 28, 2018, 02:03:26 PM
Oh Gheeeeze, I try to be nice one time and what does she do? She gets my name wrong!! How can she do that to me? I mean I tried extra hard to be nice... Didn't I? I even looked up her name so I could get it right.. Whateva!
Sorry Laurie, I am a bad girl! You really were very sweet. Guess I have to do better. :(
Davina, I admire you handling your situation. I worked on cars for a long time as well but got out of it pre transition.
I had one thing to add here about validation by others. I went out to dinner with two friends, one of who (whom?) speaks to new teachers about diversity especially related to LGBTIQ issues. She said something that I thought was pretty cool. She had recognized someone in the group who seemed a little on the nonsupportive side of things. She was chatting with him and then said something like, "Show of hands, who here is Christian?" This person raised his hand along with others. She then said, "You know all that Christian stuff is made up don't you?" He then started to start getting his hackles up, but before it went too far, she said, "Now how does it feel to be told your identity is made up, invalid! That is how trans folk feel when they are told that all their stuff is made up, not real!" She is actually Christian herself, so she didn't mean her comment, but I thought it was a fantastic illustration for someone who doesn't get what we are about.
Moni
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 28, 2018, 03:12:08 PM
Sorry Laurie, I am a bad girl! You really were very sweet. Guess I have to do better. :(
Davina, I admire you handling your situation. I worked on cars for a long time as well but got out of it pre transition.
I had one thing to add here about validation by others. I went out to dinner with two friends, one of who (whom?) speaks to new teachers about diversity especially related to LGBTIQ issues. She said something that I thought was pretty cool. She had recognized someone in the group who seemed a little on the nonsupportive side of things. She was chatting with him and then said something like, "Show of hands, who here is Christian?" This person raised his hand along with others. She then said, "You know all that Christian stuff is made up don't you?" He then started to start getting his hackles up, but before it went too far, she said, "Now how does it feel to be told your identity is made up, invalid! That is how trans folk feel when they are told that all their stuff is made up, not real!" She is actually Christian herself, so she didn't mean her comment, but I thought it was a fantastic illustration for someone who doesn't get what we are about.
Moni
Moni - this is so perfect! Love ya. Marcie
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 28, 2018, 03:12:08 PM
Sorry Laurie, I am a bad girl! You really were very sweet. Guess I have to do better. :(
Davina, I admire you handling your situation. I worked on cars for a long time as well but got out of it pre transition.
I had one thing to add here about validation by others. I went out to dinner with two friends, one of who (whom?) speaks to new teachers about diversity especially related to LGBTIQ issues. She said something that I thought was pretty cool. She had recognized someone in the group who seemed a little on the nonsupportive side of things. She was chatting with him and then said something like, "Show of hands, who here is Christian?" This person raised his hand along with others. She then said, "You know all that Christian stuff is made up don't you?" He then started to start getting his hackles up, but before it went too far, she said, "Now how does it feel to be told your identity is made up, invalid! That is how trans folk feel when they are told that all their stuff is made up, not real!" She is actually Christian herself, so she didn't mean her comment, but I thought it was a fantastic illustration for someone who doesn't get what we are about.
Moni
Great analogy! I might use this with my mother.
Way to go Moni
You are certainly one tough cookie with an indomitable spirit.
Have faith in your inner identity and it'll shine through like the sun.
All that matters is what you think in your own head and the rest is just like the weather you just have to deal with it as best you can.
I know that you inspired me very much with your help and support know we're all in your corner trying to support you.
If this just helped you out even a tiny bit I think it was worth it.
Please keep us posted on what happens I hope I can just get a sliver of your indomitable spirit.
All the very best to you love Tatiana
Thank you so much for the support ladies! I got a nice strong "Miss Monica" from one of my misnamers today. It was nice. The guy who thinks it was a joke to misgender me has been quiet lately. I have not been very outgoing toward him lately either. I decided that that is not how I want to handle it though. What does that accomplish years from now? He will remember maybe the only trans woman he might know as a thin skinned, less than friendly person. I think I will instead break my rule of not talking about my past with newbies. I want to let him know that that behavior hurts trans folks. It would be better for him to understand. Understanding, one person at a time! Yeah, I like it.
Love you back!!!!
Moni
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 01, 2018, 04:09:28 PM
Thank you so much for the support ladies! I got a nice strong "Miss Monica" from one of my misnamers today. It was nice. The guy who thinks it was a joke to misgender me has been quiet lately. I have not been very outgoing toward him lately either. I decided that that is not how I want to handle it though. What does that accomplish years from now? He will remember maybe the only trans woman he might know as a thin skinned, less than friendly person. I think I will instead break my rule of not talking about my past with newbies. I want to let him know that that behavior hurts trans folks. It would be better for him to understand. Understanding, one person at a time! Yeah, I like it.
Love you back!!!!
Moni
It looks like your plan is working, and yes, no need to be shy about giving information that can make them a better person.
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 01, 2018, 04:09:28 PM
Thank you so much for the support ladies! I got a nice strong "Miss Monica" from one of my misnamers today. It was nice. The guy who thinks it was a joke to misgender me has been quiet lately. I have not been very outgoing toward him lately either. I decided that that is not how I want to handle it though. What does that accomplish years from now? He will remember maybe the only trans woman he might know as a thin skinned, less than friendly person. I think I will instead break my rule of not talking about my past with newbies. I want to let him know that that behavior hurts trans folks. It would be better for him to understand. Understanding, one person at a time! Yeah, I like it.
Love you back!!!!
Moni
@HappyMoni ... You composed a great message for all of us. It is important that as transgenders that we present ourselves well and help gain respect for all transgenders. There is nothing worse that us giving an bad impression because of our actions and remarks.
Where I live, I am probably the only trans-woman any of the townspeople have known about and have met.
I go out of my way to be friendly, kind, considerate, polite.... and give a positive image of a good contributing citizen to my community.
So far, since my "outing" I have experienced very little negativity except for a man and woman couple that were just visiting the town... I was told that they actually made some rude comments about me to my friends when they saw me at a table having breakfast. After the couple got up and left, my friends later told me that they were talking about me being a trans-woman and didn't know that at the nearby table to them that the visiting couple were hearing every word. That explains why the visitors kept staring at me while I was eating. My friends then kept apologizing to me over and over for not being aware that others were listening to them.... and that made me feel good.
All we can control is how we feel and how we act and talk. We can not control what others do and say. When others do unsavory things that put us in a bad light, we must be careful how we react to that. While showing anger and getting back at those that besmirch and defame us may feel good for a very brief time, it is usually not the correct move to make.
I think that you are handling this in a good way
Moni .. please keep us posted.
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you ladies!
Yesterday was a pretty horrible day. I had some very difficult family news that I got while at work. So I was not in a good place when I had to walk past my misgendering friend. He says to me, "Hello, buddy!" To me this is a typical greeting for a man not a woman, especially considering his history. It hit me wrong so I stretched my arms out, bent my knees and said, "You know you are killing me right?" He's like, "What, what?" He tried to make the case that he says that to other women. I just looked at him and said, "You know I am transgender, right? It took a lot for me to get to where I am now." He was like, "Oh okay, we're good!" or something to that effect. I left.
So today I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I didn't mean to be rude, if I was, when I talked to you yesterday. We just need to understand each other." He really is a nice guy I think. He pitches in in ways he doesn't have to, treats the kids very respectfully, so I want all that to continue only with the respect due to each of us. One of my other common misgenderers has been very respectful. One day a while back he had asked for my help, "Sir, I mean Ma'am!" I just got a disgusted look on my face at that point. Well, I kept hearing him call me "Man." Today, he went by me in the halls and I distinctly heard "Ma'am." I don't know if I had misheard him before or if he changed it up. Either way, the lesson I have learned is this. If it is done repeatedly and it bothers me, I am gonna address it sooner than later. No sense in sitting there stewing about it. Part of me thinks that some folks are really clueless and need to have it spelled out for them. In fact the joker misgenderer at one point stated, "I didn't know what the rules are." Ugh hello, everyone else calls me she, her, Monica! Duh!
Moni (AKA 'she,' 'her')
Hi Monica,
I am late to the thread, sorry.
You are a pretty resourceful woman. I am glad you are addressing the person (s) for misgendering you. When done innocently it is one thing, when done deliberately it is hurtful.
I am glad you went in all fem. For me I am gradually increasing my presentation as to how I feel inside. I do wear makeup to work. I even wore a dress recently :) . I need to buy a few more dresses now that the weather is getting warmer. They are super comfy.
I do the direct correction method and it works pretty well.
Sorry to hear about the family news. I hope it works out for the best. I will be sending good thoughts his way.
It is such a conundrum. I tell my self not to be bothered and disturbed but I do get there.
How to deal with this is anyone's guess and each circumstance will dictate a responce. Sorry you have to put up with that Moni as it just comes across as disrespectfull for someone to not even try. Best of luck with dealing with him and just consider all the positive support your getting from others to offset the odd jerk.
Good for you, Moni, for speaking up! Some people just like to push the boundaries for jollies and some people are genuinely clueless. In either case, they won't get it unless they are told.
Hi Toni? Connie? Bonnie? oh yeah!, Hi Moonie,
I will commiserate with you if you think it will help with your misgendering at work. That Ma'am you heard clearly could easily have been those Mans you think you heard. As for mister "I can't get it right", It is too hard for me. Make up cue cards for him and hold them up for him when you see him coming. You might try assigning him some homework where he sees your name and picks out the correct pronouns. Or how about flash cards for him with pictures of men and women so he can recognize the difference when he sees them.
I am sorry for you family news being not good once again. I fervently hope you are finished with bad news. You have had enough Moni. Give Ann a good squeeze for me will you?
Love ya Moany,
Laurie
Thank you for responding Rachel, Donna, Kathy, Laurie. I had my yearly evaluation yesterday and was sitting in the office waiting to talk to the Assistant Principal. In walks a teacher (one who is supportive) and she says, I guess 'he's' in trouble, seeing me waiting to be seen. Then, when she has the whole office's attention, 'he's' me again in an attempt to be funny. I think it happens when folks are so anxious to be funny they forget. Another conversation to be had Monday.
It is helping me to take control of these kinds of situations right now. Presently I have three family members who have life threatening illnesses. My brother appears to be the worst. I feel very helpless right now, as I can not make them well.
I went to what might be my last facial electrolysis appointment this morning. I was afraid I would start crying so I uncharacteristically asked that we not talk. I don't know why I am telling this except to say that I guess trying to control what I can (the misgenderings) gives me some sense of control in my life and it feels good. Aim for the positive, right?
Moni
My goodness, girlfriend, you have certainly been through the wringer lately.
I hate to say it, but your co-workers sound like real sphincters. That misgendering stuff is not only hurtful, it is cowardly. They can't even own their a-holery.
I am so sorry to hear about your brother and other family members. I can't imagine what you are going through emotionally.
They only solace I can offer you is that you have done everything in your power to control your own destiny, and deliver your own happiness. All we can do is be true to ourselves. You are a wonderful human being, Moni. I am so happy, and so very lucky, to call you my friend.
With love and best wishes,
Terri
PS - Congrats on finishing electrolysis! Now you have to let me take you out to lunch to celebrate.
Damn girl. Bad enough the blatant misgendering but to have to deal with the family issue has got to be overwhelming. I hope they all start doing better and you have lots of support there. You have it here as much as we can help. I've just started responding with a forceful WHO. When they have to think of an answer it may make them look and feel as stupid as they are.
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 05, 2018, 03:27:31 PMIn walks a teacher (one who is supportive) and she says, I guess 'he's' in trouble, seeing me waiting to be seen.
Lordy, if that is "supportive", I'd hate to see the ones who aren't supportive.
So sorry you are feeling the burden of ill family members.
Congratulations on finishing facial electrolysis! That is a big deal. I hope you are able to celebrate.
Hugs from me , need to get the 2 (Bulgarian) lads to stop calling me by my dead name but at least my assistant manager tries and apologises when he makes a mistake, on the up side got a she and her from a customer yesterday. Hope your family recover , one is bad enough but three -- its a lot to take on girl so be strong. XX Devaaina
Thank you for your kindness with regards to my family. I am trying to stay upbeat with some limited success. I'm doing shopping therapy today with two super supportive school friends. On the whole my coworkers are supportive. In the beginning there were some who talked behind my back, but most of them come around when I see them more often. This subject is really about me or maybe you in how we deal with these things, not them. They can say what they want away from me. I will no longer passively accept the misgendering. Whether it is laziness, cluelessness, habit or whatever that makes people misgender, I am gonna take steps to 'help' them get it right. Even if its a 'crowbar across the head' kind of assistance. I think of it this way, if I said something to offend someone I would want them to tell me so I can change. I will reserve the crowbar for extreme cases though.
Again thank you!
Moni
Oh I forgot to add, on a fun note, I colored my hair last night. This shopping trip was inspired by my 'pull out all the stops day.' My friends said that I rocked the dress, so they needed to 'up their game.' We have made it kind of a challenge to wear dresses on Friday's. It is hard to do this job in a dress but I will see what I can come up with. Anyone own 'coolots?'
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 06, 2018, 07:16:45 AM
Oh I forgot to add, on a fun note, I colored my hair last night. This shopping trip was inspired by my 'pull out all the stops day.' My friends said that I rocked the dress, so they needed to 'up their game.' We have made it kind of a challenge to wear dresses on Friday's. It is hard to do this job in a dress but I will see what I can come up with. Anyone own 'coolots?'
@HappyMoni Moni, I have not heard the word "coolots" since I was a young kid, I remember my mom and my aunt wearing them in the warmer weather... I think the "new" name for them is "skorts".... otherwise known as a split-skirt or split-dress.
I do own a couple "skorts" which I bought to wear on my recent New Zealand and Australian vacation/cruise this last January. It was so hot "down under" when I was there, Australia was having their January summer heatwave... near 100 deg F or more most days.
The skorts were nice because while it most times appeared to look like I was wearing a skirt and was somewhat dressy, in reality they were very comfortable shorts that worked great and were quite versatile and comfortable to wear for me being a tourist and doing all of the tourist activities, climbing on buses and trains on the tours, etc.... but still looking somewhat dressy.
Hmmm, colored your hair, rocked the dress....
... you know the rule here Moni,
"pictures or it didn't happen."Hugs,
Danielle
I will stick to my ignorance defense of not knowing how to drop pictures :P
Skorts? You made that up. lol
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 06, 2018, 09:39:54 AM
I will stick to my ignorance defense of not knowing how to drop pictures :P
Skorts? You made that up. lol
Skorts are totally a thing:
https://www.thebay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/SearchDisplay?storeId=10701&catalogId=10652&langId=-24&pageSize=12&beginIndex=0&sType=SimpleSearch&resultCatEntryType=2&showResultsPage=true&pageView=image&searchSource=Q&searchTerm=skort&x=0&y=0
(https://www.thebay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/SearchDisplay?storeId=10701&catalogId=10652&langId=-24&pageSize=12&beginIndex=0&sType=SimpleSearch&resultCatEntryType=2&showResultsPage=true&pageView=image&searchSource=Q&searchTerm=skort&x=0&y=0)
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 06, 2018, 09:39:54 AM
I will stick to my ignorance defense of not knowing how to drop pictures :P
Skorts? You made that up. lol
Dear Tawni? Fonica? ah yes Mawni,
That defense isn't going to work, Hun. You do know how to send picyures to me and I will be happy to post them where you would like them posted.
Love and Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 06, 2018, 10:28:13 AM
Dear Tawni? Fonica? ah yes Mawni,
That defense isn't going to work, Hun. You do know how to send picyures to me and I will be happy to post them where you would like them posted.
Love and Hugs,
Laurie
The plot thickens...Love it! Love ya both
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 06, 2018, 09:39:54 AM
I will stick to my ignorance defense of not knowing how to drop pictures :P
Skorts? You made that up. lol
@HappyMoni :
Dear Moni: If you would like to have me send to you instructions for posting pictures on your post replies please PM me and I will reply with simple instructions.... we like to see lots of pictures here.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 06, 2018, 09:39:54 AM
I will stick to my ignorance defense of not knowing how to drop pictures :P
Skorts? You made that up. lol
I've only ever known them as Skorts, but I like your name better! Coolots are going in the memory bank so I can sound cool. :)
Hi, Moni
I am saddened to read about your family worries and concerns. I firmly believe that life's problems conspire among themselves to all blow up in our faces at the worst possible time.
Stay tough on your detractors, Miss Monica. It sound like some teachers need some edgumakashun.
I will sometimes wear culottes which, in general tend to have a longer leg than skorts, who wants to see someone's zipper scarred leg? My sister still calls them pedal pushers ;)
Hugs
Susan
I sense a conspiracy here. I'll fix ya, I'll post my bikini pictures and make you all go blind. >:-)
If you have simple instructions that don't take giving up my first born, I'll give you a picture. Just sayin, you might be sorry. I guess I should post one before the hair transplant makes me look even more frightening.
Moni (not Pornica, Laurie)
Thanks Susan, I feel like the roadrunner character with the anvil ready to hit any time. Expect more news next week. :(
Quote from: BrandiYYC on May 06, 2018, 05:39:43 PM
I've only ever known them as Skorts, but I like your name better! Coolots are going in the memory bank so I can sound cool. :)
The Coolots is a band or was . Not sure if they are still around.
Culottes are a style of clothing.
Peddle pushers were calf length snugger pants originally designer to keep pants legs from being caught in a bicycle chain while riding. Also known as capris or clam diggers.
Excerpt form the wiki for culottes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culottes)
Quote
Modern English use of the word culottes describes a split or bifurcated skirt[5] or any garment which "hangs like a skirt, but is actually pants."[1]
In place of the term culotte, the term skort (a portmanteau for skirt and shorts) is more widely used in some areas. While some garments sold as culottes resemble short trousers, to truly be a skort it needs to look like a skirt
So, I will make comment on this long dead thread. (Charge, clear, bumbum, bumbum, bumbum...) I think I just recognized one indicator of a person who is likely to misgender someone who they have known for a while. I went to visit my brother and my sister this past weekend. My brother, who I thought would have a hard time with my change, gendered me perfectly. My sister, who I thought would be a breeze with acceptance, misgendered me unintentionally a number of times. Both are accepting, only one slipped up. What is the difference? Well, my brother is a bit of a free spirit, and has very little structure to live by. He has controlled his own life but doesn't mess with others. My sister needs control in her life. She is very structured and needs her order. I think, in her head, she has me tightly bound to the old structure of her orderliness as a 'he.' My brother, being more flexible, was able to make the leap. I started to think of others who have misgendered me a lot, and yes, they tend to be more structured in their thinking. Just thought I would put this out there.
Monica
Knock em dead girlfriend. PS Take a selfie and let us see.
Moni, late to this thread, I'm gonna comment not on misgendering, rather on rocking the femme.
Having had just a little more $$ of late I've invested some tiny bit of that in a new skirt and top, bringing me to a total of 3@ blouses and skirts. And for pride I quite pulled out the stops, wore my pink linen blouse that is missing a button, hence showing far too much (hirsute) cleavage, still a bit conservative for pride. I added bright red lipstick and tied a rainbow ribbon into my ponytail, metallic blue nails to finish my look.
I was so happy with how that felt, yesterday I changed out the blue nails for a cherry red and I'll be wearing makeup every day this week.
It's simply felt great to really rock some femme touches. Partner and I also went to the Dyke March after party Friday night and Sadie dragged her lover onto the dance floor filled to capacity with hot dancing women. Never in my life have I actually enjoyed dancing, let alone done it erotically (we weren't the only couple out there basically making out on the dance floor). Until Friday night, hooray for being lesbian surrounded by my own kind!
Sadie,
I really think you are making a mistake in underselling yourself. That should read 'horny lesbian troublemaker.' lol I'm glad you are rocking the fem. I work amounst women who take their feminine possibilities for granted. Hey, why not, they had it all their life and opt for casual comfort. I don't take it for granted. My casual comfort makes folks look a little too long. I gotta try a little harder. (Actually it is not trying, its just who I am.) I have others asking about the (cheap) clothes I wear. I think I inspire (or fem shame) others to want to look a little nicer, at least sometimes. It's funny but one woman was asking about a shirt I wore today. She then went on to dead name me twice. She is the only idiot in the school who does that (I say she is an idiot because she is a nasty, negative person, even to kids.) I think I will start calling her Bob, served with a smile of course.
Dawn,
I'll give you some pictures after the boob job. (Don't worry, I already bought tassels.)
Omg Moni boob photos!!? With or without tassels, you give me reason to live babe.
Now how about a before picture? I may need that to fully understand the after ;-).
As to my .sig, you see I'm always lesbian and at least when I'm here it seems I'm always a trouble maker. I'm not by a damn sight always horny so changing the signature wouldn't feel like truth in advertising?
(I seem to be extra horny today ... A story for another thread.)