I'm going to a convention in about 2 weeks and I'll be going as a female character, afterwards there's a party of sorts so can't be bothered changing back to male clothes just to book into the hotel and then head back out to the after party, I'm staying with another TG girl to save costs as you do and she'll be dressed up so in that respect I have moral support but I'm still nervous how well I'll pass when in public, I haven't done that sort of thing in years and that was when much more feminine in appearance and skinnier, I'm looking forward to it but equally parts dreading it in case I get called out for it or I still look to masculine enough that I do just look like a guy in a dress, the convention itself is in Canal Street a well known gay area of Manchester so I may not get to much aggro there however areas beyond that I'm expecting to get my head caved in or something, it may sound silly put aloud but I am concerned and super nervous, any tips you all can share that may help me out would be appreciated, I've been told I am reasonably passable but I only see a male in the mirror no matter how much effort I put into make up and my voice is still male, I'm my own harshest critic that can only ever see the flaws in what I'm doing and I admit it.
Your appearance is what it is. Take care with your makeup and clothes, and then don't worry about it.
More important is your attitude. It is important to appear confident, even if that's not exactly how you feel. Looking furtive or trying to hide, such as keeping your head down, is like having a big neon "Kick me!" sign on your back. It is "prey" body language, and it attracts predators.
Walk with good posture: back straight, head up, tits out. Don't be afraid to make eye contact with women and smile. Don't intentionally make eye contact with men, but don't look like you are avoiding it either. Walk like you have every right to be there, because you do.
And have a good time! :)
Quote from: KathyLauren on April 28, 2018, 06:23:56 AM
Your appearance is what it is. Take care with your makeup and clothes, and then don't worry about it.
More important is your attitude. It is important to appear confident, even if that's not exactly how you feel. Looking furtive or trying to hide, such as keeping your head down, is like having a big neon "Kick me!" sign on your back. It is "prey" body language, and it attracts predators.
Walk with good posture: back straight, head up, tits out. Don't be afraid to make eye contact with women and smile. Don't intentionally make eye contact with men, but don't look like you are avoiding it either. Walk like you have every right to be there, because you do.
And have a good time! :)
By breasts you mean a bra stuffed with socks in my case right lol, I haven't been prescribed hormones yet so my body has no changes yet like that, with the corset I plan to wear it does flatten my stomach a little and gives me some semblance of a feminine shape however my shoulders are not exactly petite nor my hands, aka masculine traits and supposingly I have a neutral face but again I feel it's still to masculine this is probably just my insecurity blowing things out of proportion but any flaw seems so much worse in my eyes, this is probably super common for people in our situation though.
I took a gamble and went out with a group of friends I trust on Sunday just gone, I was presenting best as I could whilst still not exactly knowledgeable in the way of hiding my masculine face completely with make up, it's far from the perfect result I wanted but I managed to survive without anyone saying anything somehow, my voice was and is still masculine to however no one commented on this fact either, I consider it a semi successful day though unfortunately the shoes I opted to wear rubbed to much against my heels so part of my skin is gone right now, stings a little but I'll survive, I could have easily had worse to contend with then some sore heels, it felt liberating wearing a off shoulder top, jean shorts with actual practical pockets and my choker (thank god I'd shaved my legs the previous night) as it was a scorcher of a day and I didn't feel boiling at all with how I was dressed.
I still know I have a long road ahead of me to be the image of femininity I envision in my head but I survived my first public appearance so that's something, I don't know if it's a compliment but a homeless guy who asked our group for change addressed me as Love then Lad clearly confused and yet another asked how you doing love, for those in the US not sure if that's a thing you hear said but basically means girl in a term of endearment I guess but I wouldn't really put much stock in those circumstances as for all I know he was drunk or something XD
Quote from: TranSketch on May 08, 2018, 08:44:02 AM
I took a gamble and went out with a group of friends I trust on Sunday just gone, I was presenting best as I could whilst still not exactly knowledgeable in the way of hiding my masculine face completely with make up, it's far from the perfect result I wanted but I managed to survive without anyone saying anything somehow, my voice was and is still masculine to however no one commented on this fact either, I consider it a semi successful day though unfortunately the shoes I opted to wear rubbed to much against my heels so part of my skin is gone right now, stings a little but I'll survive, I could have easily had worse to contend with then some sore heels, it felt liberating wearing a off shoulder top, jean shorts with actual practical pockets and my choker (thank god I'd shaved my legs the previous night) as it was a scorcher of a day and I didn't feel boiling at all with how I was dressed.
I still know I have a long road ahead of me to be the image of femininity I envision in my head but I survived my first public appearance so that's something, I don't know if it's a compliment but a homeless guy who asked our group for change addressed me as Love then Lad clearly confused and yet another asked how you doing love, for those in the US not sure if that's a thing you hear said but basically means girl in a term of endearment I guess but I wouldn't really put much stock in those circumstances as for all I know he was drunk or something XD
TransSketch: That is a wonderful report about you going out for the first time as a female. These are exciting first steps and as time goes on the steps will be even more successful and exciting.
The advice by
@KathyLauren in her reply post about proudly and confidently stepping out is absolutely correct.
Please keep your updates coming so we can all follow your progress. We are here for you.
Hugs,
Danielle
Way to go, TranSketch! It sounds like a great first time out. It gets better from here.
The homeless guy's first impression was female. First impressions count, so that's a win!
TranSketch, That is huge. Big hugs to you. My advice is baby steps along your journey. You got this.
who really cares what others think about you
Is not what you think about yourself more important.
I think if you take a command presence hold your head high take pride in your uniqueness and presented as such.
Let your inner identity show through with class and Grace and confidence you'll be just fine my friend.
Do not Retreat into timidness this will work against you and taking a commanding presence will work for you.
Nip any smirk in the bud by taking a quick bite back and you will catch them off guard and leave them more submissive not you
I hope this works for you it works for me when I go out for Halloween parties and for Rocky Horror which I stay dressed up as magenta for the entire time the play is showing I go everyday and use this technique to success when confronted in public.
Best wishes love Tatiana
Congratulations, TranSketch, and great to be called "love", isn't it!
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 09, 2018, 06:39:33 AM
Congratulations, TranSketch, and great to be called "love", isn't it!
Sadly my voice does not suit that title, at that point any illusion of being female dies if they hear me speak XD
Hi TranSketch, My suggestion is to act as confidently as possible, and why not be confidant about your looks too. I've been going out dressed as a female for years and have very rarely had any trouble. I've got no chest, no bottom to speak of and a husky voice, it never mattered. Good make up helps as well, I tend to go quite heavy, goth style.
I don't know about your body but your face looks feminine to me. Regards, Justine x
Quote from: justine77 on May 09, 2018, 08:59:11 AM
Hi TranSketch, My suggestion is to act as confidently as possible, and why not be confidant about your looks too. I've been going out dressed as a female for years and have very rarely had any trouble. I've got no chest, no bottom to speak of and a husky voice, it never mattered. Good make up helps as well, I tend to go quite heavy, goth style.
I don't know about your body but your face looks feminine to me. Regards, Justine x
I have wide shoulders, typical of a guy really, bit of a stomach, large arms and hands appropriately.
I'm not particularly good with makeup still especially eyeliner that stuff just never works for me at all no matter how much I practice using it, I literally stuffed a bra with socks (so professional) to mimic having a chest and at least regarding my lower half thick upper thighs and I don't exactly have a flat backside.
Even if my face is feminine in your eyes my body screams guy XD.
Just be you. It works for me.
Of course, I am no longer pretending to fool anyone, and i do live in a diverse city.
Be safe, have fun. If you are having fun, the problems will fade.
Quote from: Jin on May 09, 2018, 10:20:01 AM
Just be you. It works for me.
Of course, I am no longer pretending to fool anyone, and i do live in a diverse city.
Be safe, have fun. If you are having fun, the problems will fade.
I'm hoping with hormones when I get them that eventually even with bad makeup skills my appearance will be more feminine face and body wise
TranSketch, my advice is to stay positive throughout your journey and take it one day at a time. Your step going out in public dressed as who you really are inside is huge and something you should be so proud of. It might be easy to say it doesn't matter what others think , but when it comes down to it the thing that really matters are that you are happy and you are who you are meant to be. So continue to take these steps. Even if they are baby steps. They are huge accomplishments. I am so proud of you.
Big Hugs,
Raquel
Quote from: RoRo on May 09, 2018, 11:17:38 AM
TranSketch, my advice is to stay positive throughout your journey and take it one day at a time. Your step going out in public dressed as who you really are inside is huge and something you should be so proud of. It might be easy to say it doesn't matter what others think , but when it comes down to it the thing that really matters are that you are happy and you are who you are meant to be. So continue to take these steps. Even if they are baby steps. They are huge accomplishments. I am so proud of you.
Big Hugs,
Raquel
I did enjoy it admittedly but as I say I have a lot of work to be passable completely, I genuinely need the HRT to get better results further down the line.
Hello Transketch
Believe me my friend I probably look ten times worse than you but really don't care.
I'm brand new to the trans scene even though I felt this way from earliest memories but sometimes this can bring new insight.
It's really no different then seeing someone in a wheelchair or having a cast on a broken limb but due to societies narrow-mindedness we are definitely discriminated.
Humans have always feared and discriminated against what they don't understand throughout history. someday there will be conclusive scientific proof to explain us but unfortunately that day is not today.
I know my position here is more assertive than most but I finally concluded that this treatment works and I refuse to let others try to run my life it's your life to live how you want and I know that you feel better by exposing your true identity but this is easier said than done.
Hold your head high my friend with that plastered smile to meet any resistance.
Also maintain eye contact with any smirkers with your head held high and that plastered smile you will give them something to think about and hopefully you'll feel better too.
It's your life to lead as you want not theirs.
We are all very unique individuals it's not your problem it's theirs.
Best wishes be sure to let us know what happened and hopefully you will gain knowledge and confidence by doing this it worked for me but I live in a very rural area much different than the big city this is probably why I have the Do or Die attitude like damn the torpedoes Full Speed Ahead.
Love Tatiana
Second weekend of dressing up on the Saturday, nothing to really report except for only one instance of a few drunk idiots in the evening waiting at a bus stop as I passed calling me a she male, on the whole just one bunch of people out of a fair old walk round the city does not warrant concern, went to a waffle place and two of the girls working there complimented me on my makeup even though it was minimal and outfit I put together, not putting much stock in it as it could have just been out or politeness as they worked there, one of them was really attractive I'll admit and said she loves cosplaying and had I known her more I may have tried asking her out XD but sod's law dictates she's probably already taken, the good ones usually are, anyway that's my update thus far, also heels are hell to walk in XD I had to give up and wear my trainers in the end.
Quote from: TranSketch on May 13, 2018, 07:51:56 AMnot putting much stock in it as it could have just been out or politeness
Politeness counts. That's a win!
Good for you for getting out there again!
Quote from: TranSketch on May 09, 2018, 11:20:39 AM
I have a lot of work to be passable completely, I genuinely need the HRT to get better results further down the line.
Don't wait to be completely passable to go out and be you as much as possible. Probably, you will have to be out and about A LOT before you get to that point, no matter what chemical and medical steps you take...
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 13, 2018, 08:23:17 AM
Politeness counts. That's a win!
Good for you for getting out there again!
It's the best the therapist will get from me as presenting in my area is not so smart, in town it's not really as noticed or cared about it seems
Hi, I've been trying high heels on and off for over a year. I still don't feel that confident in them. Anybody got any tips. Justine x
Quote from: justine77 on May 13, 2018, 03:51:26 PM
Hi, I've been trying high heels on and off for over a year. I still don't feel that confident in them. Anybody got any tips. Justine x
I would say don't fall but that's obvious XD I'd be open to tips myself, is heel toe a thing with them or am I maybe getting that confused with something else
Not so much an update, at least a good one anyway.
I had been contemplating presenting today when I went out to town but I bottled out of it, without friends or moral support in a group I'm to worried to dress up publically, I can't help but feel this is quite a set back to the two attempts I was with my social group of sorts and did so fine, forgive the irony but I don't have the balls to do this by myself so I can't help but feel I failed today especially when eventually I'll have no choice but to go about myself publically.
Try again. Never give up. You CAN do it!
Quote from: Jin on May 16, 2018, 11:10:21 AM
Try again. Never give up. You CAN do it!
Easier said than done, especially since taking these hormones my voice has go worse with flem build up (asthmatic side effect) now my throat is constantly raw from spitting up so much flem, so now I'm super paranoid when I speak if I present as a female or cough it up quite masculine sounding.
Quote from: TranSketch on May 16, 2018, 12:52:20 PM
Easier said than done, especially since taking these hormones my voice has go worse with flem build up (asthmatic side effect) now my throat is constantly raw from spitting up so much flem, so now I'm super paranoid when I speak if I present as a female or cough it up quite masculine sounding.
Staying hydrated will cut down on that. If you are taking spiro as your AA, you need to drink a lot of water. Yes, it will make you pee a lot, but some of that buildup in the throat is caused by dehydration.
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 16, 2018, 01:50:09 PM
Staying hydrated will cut down on that. If you are taking spiro as your AA, you need to drink a lot of water. Yes, it will make you pee a lot, but some of that buildup in the throat is caused by dehydration.
Not taking blockers currently just the estrogen, it's not as bad as a couple of days ago but still pretty rough on the old throat also call it impatience if you will but after a week of taking them I'm seeing nor feeling anything significant change wise, at one point my chest seemed tender but that sensation is mostly gone now, not sure if there failing because of 28 years of testosterone to combat against or what but patience has never been my strong suit.