I am looking for advice on how to deal with laser/electrolysis once i'm living full time.
I present feminine in my private life. But not yet at work. But I"ll soon transition there too. My employer is OK with it. They've told me to set my own timeline and they will support me. One thing that's making think to wait a while to transition at work is getting rid of my facial hair.
I started laser on my face 9 months ago. i've had 5 sessions. Laser has rid me of a lot of facial hair. I've also just started doing an hour of electrolysis on my face every other week to take care of my blond and red facial hair. I'm to the point that I can't grow a beard anymore. I have 4 laser sessions left if in need them, but they'll take 8 months to complete.
prior to an electrolysis session I have to go 4 days without shaving. While most of my facial hair is gone I do get noticeable patchy thin mostly light colored hair on my face. Going 4 days means that make up doesn't cover it.
I work in an office. I have to dress professionally. Business casual, but I need to look put together because I meet with outside vendors and suppliers. Once i've transitioned that means presented as a woman and everything that goes with it. IE. styled hair, make-up, etc. I can't just keep going to work presenting as masculine.
If I transition at work now i will have to continue going to work occasionally with noticeable facial hair.
Does anybody have tips for dealing with this? Are there some tips or tricks that I'm not aware of?
I don't want to wait months and months more just because of electrolysis. But the thought of going to work with even small amounts of stubble after I've fully transitioned just fills me with anxiety.
Quote from: Becca Kay on May 08, 2018, 07:42:05 PM
I am looking for advice on how to deal with laser/electrolysis once i'm living full time.
I present feminine in my private life. But not yet at work. But I"ll soon transition there too. My employer is OK with it. They've told me to set my own timeline and they will support me. One thing that's making think to wait a while to transition at work is getting rid of my facial hair.
I started laser on my face 9 months ago. i've had 5 sessions. Laser has rid me of a lot of facial hair. I've also just started doing an hour of electrolysis on my face every other week to take care of my blond and red facial hair. I'm to the point that I can't grow a beard anymore. I have 4 laser sessions left if in need them, but they'll take 8 months to complete.
prior to an electrolysis session I have to go 4 days without shaving. While most of my facial hair is gone I do get noticeable patchy thin mostly light colored hair on my face. Going 4 days means that make up doesn't cover it.
I work in an office. I have to dress professionally. Business casual, but I need to look put together because I meet with outside vendors and suppliers. Once i've transitioned that means presented as a woman and everything that goes with it. IE. styled hair, make-up, etc. I can't just keep going to work presenting as masculine.
If I transition at work now i will have to continue going to work occasionally with noticeable facial hair.
Does anybody have tips for dealing with this? Are there some tips or tricks that I'm not aware of?
I don't want to wait months and months more just because of electrolysis. But the thought of going to work with even small amounts of stubble after I've fully transitioned just fills me with anxiety.
4 days growth seems a long time to go? Does the electrolysis lady need a longer shaft than normal, or does it just grow slow enough to require that long of a wait?
I know some folks use Dermablend to cover up facial hair... though it can leave you with a bit of a caked on appearance if not done just right. Other than that, that's about all I can recommend. I also know ladies that after a certain point just tweezed the remaining hairs in the morning.
The only real solution to the problem is to do a mass clearing in order to reduce the number of times you need to grow your beard out. You could also plan your treatment for monday so most of the time you wouldn't present well would be over the week end. Other than that, I don't have any good solutions.
I don't shave for 2 days prior, that gives Nanci enough hair to grip with tweezers. If she is going to work on a specific patch might give her three days growth. For a while I would selectively shave to avoid dark hairs so they would go away first, now it is white blonde and red left. Good luck with the process, I know in my mind when I do not shave feel I look like Grizzly Adams, but my partner tells me different and she is honest and has minimal tact, not her finest trait :)
Thanks, ladies. I'm going for electrolysis tonight. I'm going to ask about scheduling a long session or two and whether she can work with less growth.
I do 4 hour blocks of electro and she says she only needs ~2 days' growth. I told my boss about this and she understood and let me hide in my office and avoid in-person contact for a couple days. You may be able to work something out with your employer. Another option is to schedule Monday appointments and grow over the weekend (take Monday off :)).
The Monday appointment schedule is probably your best bet.
I hear about people scheduling long sessions, and it makes sense in order to minimize how long it takes. But I wouldn't be able to handle the pain: an hour is my limit. I guess the places that do long sessions have on-site pain management, otherwise it wouldn't work. Nothing like that here: pain management is strictly DIY.
I make arrangements ahead of time with my electrologist as to which area we are going to do next. That way, I can minimize the dysphoria by shaving everything except that area. But, there really isn't an alternative to growing it out regularly.
I have an advantage that I am retired and don't have to worry about dress and deportment codes. Still, I do lots of activities, and don't always feel like skipping out of them just because I don't look my best. So I go out with my stubble, and if people don't like it, too bad.
Get as much done before you go full time! Otherwise you will be very frustrated with having to grow out for treatment. I'm also retired so when I have to grow out I also stay in like Kathy. That alone is frustrating as I have to plan shopping and appointments. I'm getting near the end (mostly my neck to do) but I do go for 2 hour sessions to get the most out of having to grow facial hair. At two hours I've pretty much had enough. I suppose with numbing you could go longer.
Judi
4 hours with no numbing, nor pain killers/management, is how I have done all of mine. I drive 3.5 hours one way to my electrologist, so I make the trip worth it. My face is rekt when it is over, for sure! lol Swollen, pock marked, red, sore, etc. The lady that does my face cannot believe I fall asleep in the chair. Now, don't get me wrong, when she is doing my lip or mouth area or lower neck, there is no sleeping...it hurts like fire. But, when she is on my jawline or chin it does not hurt very much, and so I tend to nod off.
I have been through a lot of surgeries in my life, so I take pain quite well. After SRS, BA, colon resection for cancer, C5-C6 spine surg, septoplasty, ...and the list goes on...a little electro on my facial skin is a walk in the park! :)
I just moved my every other week Electro appointment to Mondays nights.
Thanks for the advice!
I've done a lot of laser and electrolysis. Couldn't hold off transitioned and just shave a lot now. The hair that is left is white to grey and not easily noticed when I don't shave. I'm holding off for the mass electrolysis thing. I did laser as far as I could take it...now only electrolysis can get the rest.....unless there is a new laser that does white/grey hair I don't know about.
Quote from: 120716 on May 08, 2018, 10:21:13 PM
I don't shave for 2 days prior, that gives Nanci enough hair to grip with tweezers. If she is going to work on a specific patch might give her three days growth. For a while I would selectively shave to avoid dark hairs so they would go away first, now it is white blonde and red left. Good luck with the process, I know in my mind when I do not shave feel I look like Grizzly Adams, but my partner tells me different and she is honest and has minimal tact, not her finest trait :)
Your electrologist sounds like mine and her name is Nanci too. Is she Nanci Vargas? Do you live in Tacoma? Been seeing her for over a year as I can only handle an hour at a time. But I am almost done. Maybe six more hours.
Quote from: DawnOday on May 11, 2018, 09:09:59 PM
Your electrologist sounds like mine and her name is Nanci too. Is she Nanci Vargas? Do you live in Tacoma? Been seeing her for over a year as I can only handle an hour at a time. But I am almost done. Maybe six more hours.
Owns Electra Spa? Super awesome human being? Yes the one and the same Nanci Vargas. I have been seeing Nanci since late January 2017, First for GCS prep, now for facial hair removal. I have done up to two hours with her, getting close to a finish. Yes, I live in Tacoma, not far from her office. I drive the red Tundra or the White Audi Sq5. I go with my partner Susan, 90% of the time. I also see Kristen, she is amazing too.
Quote from: 120716 on May 12, 2018, 07:37:48 PM
Quote from: DawnOday on May 11, 2018, 09:09:59 PM
Your electrologist sounds like mine and her name is Nanci too. Is she Nanci Vargas? Do you live in Tacoma? Been seeing her for over a year as I can only handle an hour at a time. But I am almost done. Maybe six more hours.
Owns Electra Spa? Super awesome human being? Yes the one and the same Nanci Vargas. I have been seeing Nanci since late January 2017, First for GCS prep, now for facial hair removal. I have done up to two hours with her, getting close to a finish. Yes, I live in Tacoma, not far from her office. I drive the red Tundra or the White Audi Sq5. I go with my partner Susan, 90% of the time. I also see Kristen, she is amazing too.
I live down the road in Auburn. Aren't they great people. As I wrote in my recommendation. They are no longer service professionals. They are permanent friends. Do you attend meetings at Rainbow Center? How about Ingersoll? Now that the sun is out, I can make it more often. Any social activities, restaurants, trans friendly allies? I don't do bars anymore. Are you going to Gender Odyssey? What kinds of resistance do you encounter in Tacoma. I know I can wander around Capital Hill in Seattle and get very little response. I believe you are the person Nanci was talking about the other day. She didn't say any names but by your response, it sounds like it might be you. She called you a good friend.
Quote from: DawnOday on May 13, 2018, 03:51:00 PM
Owns Electra Spa? Super awesome human being? Yes the one and the same Nanci Vargas. I have been seeing Nanci since late January 2017, First for GCS prep, now for facial hair removal. I have done up to two hours with her, getting close to a finish. Yes, I live in Tacoma, not far from her office. I drive the red Tundra or the White Audi Sq5. I go with my partner Susan, 90% of the time. I also see Kristen, she is amazing too.
I live down the road in Auburn. Aren't they great people. As I wrote in my recommendation. They are no longer service professionals. They are permanent friends. Do you attend meetings at Rainbow Center? How about Ingersoll? Now that the sun is out, I can make it more often. Any social activities, restaurants, trans friendly allies? I don't do bars anymore. Are you going to Gender Odyssey? What kinds of resistance do you encounter in Tacoma. I know I can wander around Capital Hill in Seattle and get very little response. I believe you are the person Nanci was talking about the other day. She didn't say any names but by your response, it sounds like it might be you. She called you a good friend.
I attended some meetings at the Oasis Center, no longer go. There are some amazing people that go and then there is the leadership. I do ok in Tacoma, not a lot of misgendering, mostly it is people that knew me before and then figure out who I am now. Or When my voice drops, hate that. The best Allies I have found are Mary's Pistols, Bulleye (shooting range) The Ram in Federal way has always been awesome. Del Taco, The Mexican Restaurant at the Super Mall has been nice enough, at first a lot of misgendering now none. MSM Deli they are fun, first time I went in as Margaret was asked if this was a test or a permeant thing, showed them ID and they were Awesome, now you can be happy! So all in all it is good. Yes I love Nanci to death one of the better friends I have had in this go around of life.
I got laser when I went through transition. IT did a lot of the hair but left parts around my mouth. Several years later after all the surgeries I got tired of shaving once a day so I brought my own Electrolysis machine out of Canada. IT is an Apilus JR which you can look up if you wish. It took a great deal of time sitting in front if the mirror but now days I just occasionally go zap a few hairs perhaps once a week..
Quote from: Katie on June 05, 2018, 02:29:01 PM
I got laser when I went through transition. IT did a lot of the hair but left parts around my mouth. Several years later after all the surgeries I got tired of shaving once a day so I brought my own Electrolysis machine out of Canada. IT is an Apilus JR which you can look up if you wish. It took a great deal of time sitting in front if the mirror but now days I just occasionally go zap a few hairs perhaps once a week..
Wow. That's an idea! I think I would abuse such a machine if it was in my hands. I already practice self mutilation with my little set of tweezers.
i was dead set on eliminating all my facial hair before FFS in september. I wanted FFS to be a kind of turning point after which I didn't have to deal with this stuff anymore.
But I have come to the realization that it was an unrealistic expectation. I've started to realize that there's not ever going to be a point where i look perfect or can turn my back on how I looked yesterday. I need to just give in to it and realize that i'll get there eventually.
I'm going to continue to go a couple of times per month for Electrolysis and do two more laser sessions. Then this winter after i'm healed up from FFS I'm going to schedule high volume electrolysis and get done whatever is left.
I really hate shaving. But sooner or later I won't have to anymore.
If they're open on weekends, coordinate visits with 3 or 4 day weekends. Or figure out how much clearance they can do in one of your hour sessions and shave the red and keep the grey/white/blonde hairs to clear. They'll be far less noticable, and you can thin those down to whatever you can have them clear in a session.
Electrolysis will take some time.
I go for 2 hours (3 x month), it will take me about 18 months to 2 years. I have to have 36 hours of growth (no more) but I tend to leave just small patches to be worked on and shave the rest.
The cost is significant to (It will cost me £3,000 to £5,000) but worth it in the end. I am a Mathematics teacher and have transitioned in front of (metaphorically) children who have accepted it rather better than some (especially 'Christian') adults. Transition at work is no big deal, walking down the high street in a dress at midday for the first time was difficult, but only because I made it so (with my self doubt!)