I wasn't really planning on starting my own thread at this point but I have had such an overwhelmingly amazing day today it felt like the timing was right.
A little background so this makes more sense. I was a single parent for my twin daughters from 2011-2016. They now live with their mother in Florida per my agreement with my ex. At this point, I was left all alone and my dysphoria, which I have, of course, struggled with forever came roaring back. There was not anything left to focus on in my day to day. Denver is not the cheapest place to live and it made financial sense for my mother, who lived alone and was struggling, and myself to get a place together and make both of our lives easier. In late 2016 I came out as transgender to my mother. I wore my fear on my sleeve and, though she indicated she was supportive, I felt like a selfish jerk for turning things upside down and being "needy"... A few days later I backpedaled and retracted the whole thing like that is something you could really do and we mostly have not spoken of it again...until today. This is in large part to Ellie's post "Open letter to anyone anxious and afraid! (Read if your fear is posting here!)" where she talks about not wanting to bother people. It hit me that I was doing exactly that. I was putting the perceived needs of others before my own which is not, usually, a bad thing. Sometimes though, it is necessary, vital even, and things must be said.
Mother's Day. It seemed like it was an appropriate choice. I am her child and I had something to say. Long story short, we cried, we hugged, we planned lol. I never gave her the chance before to be on my side. I just shut the whole thing down. She is now my partner in this. She is not my step-father who abused me severely for daring to be me as a child. I should not have placed her in the same boat as him. Could she have done more when I was a kid to help me with things? Yes. Of course. But I get it...and that was then. This is now.
I feel like I hit a restart button. I was planning, before this, to get my own place again when our lease is up in September so I can present part-time. Now there is no need. Part-time starts pretty much now which has me more excited than I have been in forever. And I need as much practice as I can get with presenting!! I originally posted these pics in the "You Look Fabulous" thread. This was my first solo attempt at makeup, wig and clothing. Is it great? Um....no. But I loved doing it. A lot. I could sit here and criticize these pictures for everything I am not in them, but I have chosen to just see that I have potential. I can do this. It is a starting point, nothing more. I finally start HRT towards the end of this week and we will see what those little pills can do. Sorry this was so long. I felt all of this was necessary for the opening post.
(https://i.lensdump.com/i/8HiNoz.jpg)
(https://i.lensdump.com/i/8HiFJb.jpg)
(https://i.lensdump.com/i/8Hif8T.jpg)
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Alyssa Bree: Wow-whee, your photos show a beautiful "new you" ... thank you for sharing them here on your brand new personal thread.
It is nice that you decided to start your thread, that way we can all follow transition journey and your life events more easily. However, it is important that you do continue posting on the other various threads as you feel so led.
I imagine your excitement about beginning your HRT next week... that is something that you will always remember as a most exciting and memorable moment in your effort to achieve your transition goals. Most of us on here celebrate annual anniversaries of that important life changing event.... some of us celebrate it monthly, weekly, daily or all the time... it is an exciting journey to be certain.
Thank you for telling us about your Life Story... I think I can speak for others here about we all can identify with many of the things that you stated.... we are here for you and can offer our support in you disappointments, frustrations, failure and most certainly in your Successes we will celebrate with you.
Along with others, I will surely be visiting your thread often to check on you and to follow your progress.
Again, thank you for posting and sharing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Alyssa,
So good to see another beautiful blossom begin to open here in Susan's Garden. Starting HRT! Good for you. Be patient. There will be hiccups but you can and will move past them all. Enjoy the journey.
Stevi
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 13, 2018, 12:37:53 PM
Alyssa Bree: Wow-whee, your photos show a beautiful "new you" ... thank you for sharing them here on your brand new personal thread.
It is nice that you decided to start your thread, that way we can all follow transition journey and your life events more easily. However, it is important that you do continue posting on the other various threads as you feel so led.
I imagine your excitement about beginning your HRT next week... that is something that you will always remember as a most exciting and memorable moment in your effort to achieve your transition goals. Most of us on here celebrate annual anniversaries of that important life changing event.... some of us celebrate it monthly, weekly, daily or all the time... it is an exciting journey to be certain.
Thank you for telling us about your Life Story... I think I can speak for others here about we all can identify with many of the things that you stated.... we are here for you and can offer our support in you disappointments, frustrations, failure and most certainly in your Successes we will celebrate with you.
Along with others, I will surely be visiting your thread often to check on you and to follow your progress.
Again, thank you for posting and sharing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle! This really means a lot coming from somebody like yourself. Keep on being amazing!
QuoteQuote from: Stevi on May 13, 2018, 12:58:24 PM
Alyssa,
So good to see another beautiful blossom begin to open here in Susan's Garden. Starting HRT! Good for you. Be patient. There will be hiccups but you can and will move past them all. Enjoy the journey.
Strevi
Thank you Stevi! I had a dream about a month ago that I broke into a local pharmacy dressed like Catwoman to get the goods. I am happy I will not have to resort to that now.
Alyssa! I am so so SO happy it worked out for you! :-*
HRT next week? So EXCITING!
Your pictures are lovely! And I can see that you're going to blossom into a beautiful woman!
I probably can't start HRT (for personal reasons) until Winter, so it will be very encouraging to see your transformation while I impatiently wait for mine!
Much love,
Eryn
Thanks Eryn!
I really do think there is a woman in there somewhere hee hee. I feel more positive about it every day.
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Congratulations Alyssa. I am so glad you found the courage to try again.
I miss my mom deeply....who passed a way a year ago. Moms are amazing. I wish she was here to be on my journey.
Hugs
Karen
Karen,
I am so sorry. I wish she was there to see you become you as well.
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Hi again!
I posted elsewhere that I started HRT today but myself and others thought my personal thread should have the date marked so...here it is!
I have been thinking about my journey to what is, essentially, the beginning of my new life. When I was in seventh grade, watching the girls in my school develop breasts and become women physically, I never would have imagined that one day I would be given the opportunity to do the same. I was so jealous of those girls. I wanted to BE them...any of them really. Now I don't have to...I can be myself, inside and out.
I will be sure to post updates as they happen. I am super interested in tracking pretty much everything.
Thank you again everybody for being the most incredible group of humans I have ever encountered on the internet. Thank you for caring about me, somebody you've never met. Thank you for the tsunami of support I didn't know was possible to receive a month ago.I look forward to sharing with all of you taking this journey with me.
xoxoxo
Alyssa
It really is a new life, Alyssa! And it's wonderful to get to experience not only new things, but things you're already familiar with, but in a new way.
I am tentatively anticipating any and all updates that you wish to share!
Much love,
Eryn
Quote from: Alyssa Bree on May 17, 2018, 02:04:29 PM
Hi again!
I posted elsewhere that I started HRT today but myself and others thought my personal thread should have the date marked so...here it is!
I have been thinking about my journey to what is, essentially, the beginning of my new life. When I was in seventh grade, watching the girls in my school develop breasts and become women physically, I never would have imagined that one day I would be given the opportunity to do the same. I was so jealous of those girls. I wanted to BE them...any of them really. Now I don't have to...I can be myself, inside and out.
I will be sure to post updates as they happen. I am super interested in tracking pretty much everything.
Thank you again everybody for being the most incredible group of humans I have ever encountered on the internet. Thank you for caring about me, somebody you've never met. Thank you for the tsunami of support I didn't know was possible to receive a month ago.I look forward to sharing with all of you taking this journey with me.
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Congratulations Alyssa. Thanks for sharing this incredible milestone with us. Your happiness is contagious.
Hugs
Karen
Hello Alyssa
Now that we are into "next week", I assume you have started or are literally about to start HRT.
Congratulations. It is a wonderful feeling just to take the first tablet or place the first patch. You really will enjoy the ride.
I wish you every happiness on your journey.
Hugs
Pamela