Need a mental remedy for this! Insomnia was, for the most part, a huge thing in my life. Inrecall as a child I would toss and turn in bed sometimes for a couple of hours. Before coming out as a woman I recall insomnia increased as well from mere tossing and turning for a couple hours to getting up at odd hours in the am and often not able to fall asleep. I found one solution a few years back for insomnia, transition and HRT. Never had I had more restful and peaceful sleeps with plenty of REM. However thing have gotten real off lately. Around January or February I started to address a lot of personal issues and opened up Pandora's box. These dreams of past events came back (not all traumatic events at the given year of the dream played, some just random) and in these dreams I was "male"... they freaked me out sommuch I would wake up in panic and disgust and not fall asleep. I am a woman, I liked my dreams to reflect this back when they always did. Anyways, this has gotten so out of control that I have developed a fear of sleep. The nightmares have gone down a lot but the fear of the old skin dreams remain. In the past 2 weeks I have gone full nights with no sleep.
I have tried : chamomile tea, melatonin, valerian root... all seem to have ran their course. There was another herbal pill I took that included Passion flower that seemed to have worked butncosts money. Recently I began to take pharmacotical sleep aides which can work, but I don't want to be dependent on them. Anyone have their own cure for insomnia? I don't want to depend on herbs or meds for a long time. I just want to go back to it being anxiousnof sleep, I haven't had a nightmare of "him" for a long time however I still get that quizzy feeling I got back in winter of the fear it may happen. Remedys?
Exercise heavily and take melatonin at night. The combination makes me sleep like a corpse.
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Also, when I have had insomnia in the past it was due to outside stressors. You need to address whatever stressors you have in your life.
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Benadryl
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Thank you both! I shall try that
My issue with insomnia is gender dysphoira. As said above, the only time in my life where I could expect to not sleep or not sleep well was pre transition. Infact, before mid January and after accepting and then going through transition,it was unheard of for me to stay up past mid night. Now, I'm lucky to get to sleep at 2 am on days or nights my dysphoira shoots up.l after having tried to lay down at 10. I have had higher dysphoira (largely related to gentials) now as I am eager for GRS. However, the stress of dysphoira that had provoked very scary nightmares back a few months ago makes me still panic at bed time.
An example of my frame of mind is like this
No dysphoira and feeling well connected: I could getoff work at like 8 pm, slam down caffeinated drinks, shower and have my face firmly implanted on my phone and expect to pass out at 1030 or sometime in the 11th hour
Dysphoira and anxiety: i can slam down melatonin, valerian root, sleeping teas here and there between trying to lay down at sat 10/1030 and still not feel anything close to sleepy until 2 am, and even then that is after like 3 hours of trying to calm down (numbing or calming dysphoira)... if that don't work and I still have dysphoira or anxiety I am up all night and the following day. I recently got prescription meds for sleep but as said don't want to become dependent for long term.
Basically dysphoira is my dilemma for notnjust peace of daily life but nightly rest
A great example of how bizarre my night terrors over old life is how it affects compared to other nightmares. In other dreams where I am re experiencing a truama, or being hunted or haunted or ect I can usirally sleep past it, if it's too much I wake up in a sweat but nearly always get back to dream land. However, if in this dream (usurally accompaied by dysphoira thenprior day) I am in the old "male mode" it is far worse. Doesn't even have to be being haunted or hunted, I just feel anxious in dream already and/or see an old male reflection and that is enough to wake me up in panic and not get back to sleep.
Basically it works like this. If in my dream I am myself or dontnnotice any gender at all I am good no matter what, if I am old "male" self then it has an effect worse then anything else.. kinda intense