Hi everyone, my name's Louis and I'm 19 years old. I'm transgender FTM, but I'm kind of lacking support at home (it's complicated >.<'). I wanted to find a transgender forum so I can meet people, ask questions, and get support. Thank you :)
Welcome Louis.
Just ask away if you have questions or concerns, we're all more or less in the same boat. We understand you. Many of us have close ones not accepting or understanding what we go through.
Tony
Quote from: DEATH13 on June 07, 2018, 10:58:24 AM
Hi everyone, my name's Louis and I'm 19 years old. I'm transgender FTM, but I'm kind of lacking support at home (it's complicated >.<'). I wanted to find a transgender forum so I can meet people, ask questions, and get support. Thank you :)
Hello Louis aka: DEATH13: Per my suggestion in another posting of yours, thank you for coming to the Susan's Place Introductions Forum to tell the other members here about yourself. The more that you share about your questions and concerns and the more that you read many of the other members posts you will certainly find like-minded members here that you can trade your questions and concerns with.
Without a doubt you can also make some new friends here as well.
In my Official Welcome message I sent to you on the other thread that you posted your very first time on, I included some
very important LINKS that will give you information about how to navigate the Susan's Site and Forums and take advantage of the many features here. Please be certain to carefully look them over.
Again,
WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACEWishing you well,
Danielle
Quote from: DEATH13 on June 07, 2018, 10:58:24 AM
Hi everyone, my name's Louis and I'm 19 years old. I'm transgender FTM, but I'm kind of lacking support at home (it's complicated >.<'). I wanted to find a transgender forum so I can meet people, ask questions, and get support. Thank you :)
I know what you mean, only one person in my family knows im trans and she's not my mom or dad... I promise from my experiences here this is a great community. They even got me to go talk to the VA about me being trans (I have an appointment (more of being told to walk in but whatever lol) tomorrow and I plan to make this doctor write lol)
Welcome
Thanks for the warm welcomes :)
My therapist is being very supportive, and my younger sibling, who is genderfluid, has already agreed to call me Louis and use male pronouns, both of which are great things. It's my mom who I'm having trouble with. I told her that I'm transgender but she just doesn't seem to accept it. I mean she supports transgender rights and other transgender people, but she seems to have a problem with her own child being trans (this is just speculation on my part based on my interactions with her). When I asked her to call me Louis and use male pronouns, her expression was very uncomfortable and judgemental, and she seemed hesitant to agree. She asked, "Do I have to introduce you to people as Louis?" and I said yes. Then she asked, "And what am I supposed to say? This is Louis, my what?" I said, "Your son." She shook her head and looked away. I try to talk to her about it, explain to her how I feel and all that, but whenever I do she challenges me. She always asks, "Well, are you 100% sure?" I would be if you stopped questioning everything I say! I know she wants to be supportive but she's making me doubt myself. She said to me, "I just want you to be comfortable with who you are," and I said, "What if who I am is a boy?" She didn't like that answer. I said, "What if the reason why I'm not comfortable dating/being intimate is because I'm in the wrong body?" She said, "Maybe you just have confidence issues and that's why." Maybe I have confidence issues, again, because I'm not in the right body! I've been asking a lot of questions like this lately. All I really know for sure is that when I dressed like a boy and looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I'm Louis," it felt right. When people online referred to me using male pronouns, it felt right. When my therapist told me to start living as Louis, I was so excited. When my mom challenges me, I feel offended. When people call me Louise and use female pronouns, it makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry about that random rant, I've just been thinking about this for a while and wanted to get it off my chest >.<'
Hi Louis :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hi V M (^^)/
It is good that you have a therapist who helps you. Your mom has known you as a girl for many years. Maybe she needs time to adjust to this new reality.
Just stand steady with both feet on the ground. I feel like myself when dressing like a male. Dressing like a woman makes me uneasy, and nervous. I'm thinking what people will think about me in a dress.
When I change in the change room at work, I hide my body from the women in there. Realized I do that some week a go. It's because I don't belong there.
There are many signs you can pick up on. Signs that make you sure you are on the right track.
I'm still waiting for my first appointment with the gender therapist.
Tony
Thank you for sharing Tony. It's nice talking to someone who shares experiences with me. "I feel like myself when dressing like a male. Dressing like a woman makes me uneasy, and nervous. I'm thinking what people will think about me in a dress. When I change in the change room at work, I hide my body from the women in there." I feel the same way. Talking to you guys has really helped me become more sure of myself and who I am. I also agree that my mom needs time to adjust. I'm going to do my best to stay strong :)
Hey Louis, just wanted to stop by your introduction after your post in my thread! Glad to have you here!!
Thanks Ellie, glad to be here!
Quote from: DEATH13 on June 07, 2018, 12:31:15 PM
When I asked her to call me Louis and use male pronouns, her expression was very uncomfortable and judgemental, and she seemed hesitant to agree. She asked, "Do I have to introduce you to people as Louis?" and I said yes. Then she asked, "And what am I supposed to say? This is Louis, my what?" I said, "Your son." She shook her head and looked away. I try to talk to her about it, explain to her how I feel and all that, but whenever I do she challenges me. She always asks, "Well, are you 100% sure?" I would be if you stopped questioning everything I say! I know she wants to be supportive but she's making me doubt myself. She said to me, "I just want you to be comfortable with who you are," and I said, "What if who I am is a boy?" She didn't like that answer. I said, "What if the reason why I'm not comfortable dating/being intimate is because I'm in the wrong body?" She said, "Maybe you just have confidence issues and that's why." Maybe I have confidence issues, again, because I'm not in the right body! I've been asking a lot of questions like this lately. All I really know for sure is that when I dressed like a boy and looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I'm Louis," it felt right. When people online referred to me using male pronouns, it felt right. When my therapist told me to start living as Louis, I was so excited. When my mom challenges me, I feel offended. When people call me Louise and use female pronouns, it makes me uncomfortable.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My mother has a similar mindset, she says shes supports me, but that she doesn't want me to do irreversible damage and go on T ( which i don't think i want to do anytime soon anyway, i have a lot of other medical issues). She also refuses to even think of calling me a different name or use other pronouns and gives my roommate ( who's also my best friend) looks apparently when she refers to me as "He".
I know it'll take time if any, but hopefully knowing you are not alone helps just a little.
Thank you for your reply Bon Bon, it really does help (:
Hi,
I am Laurie, the wandering waif of Susan's Place. Welcome to Susan's Place The best site on the web for trans support.
I am glad you found us. You are not only welcome, but wanted here.
Acceptance issues and uncertainty are two of the common problems we come here for. So you have lots of company here. At 65 I am one of those like you that have had family acceptance problems. I am no longer welcome at my daughter's home and have lost access to my 5 grand children. A parent that loses their child is one of the worst thing they can go through. Believe me I know. My son passed away from heart problems and my daughter and her children are lost to be due to my transition and long past history. Regardless of the cause it hurts.
What you are asking of your mother is very similar to losing her daughter. I know you say but she is not losing you. Hun she is. Yes, she is losing you as a daughter. You are asking her to give up the daughter she gave birth to. The daughter she raised. The daughter she loves. To her that is exactly what you are asking of her. You want her to love someone she does not know and give you instant recognition of you as her son. She cannot do this. She will need to grieve her loss. Come to accept that her daughter is gone. And she will need to morn her daughter's loss. You are asking her to do this and at the same time be happy she has a new son that she does not yet know. She will need time even if she can accept the concept. This is personal. Give her time to process it and get to know her new son.
It can be done and it might not be able to be done. All I can do is recommend a slow pace and give her time.
Good luck hun and be patient.
Hugs,
Laurie