Hi! So, at this point, I'm totally out to everyone--I told my family 7-8 months ago, a few months after I started socially transitioning. I'm now 3 months on T, living completely as male aside from having not legally changed my name or gender markers on my license and such. The only people I HAVEN'T told are my nephews.
So, I'm staying with my sister this Summer I got here a couple weeks ago. She's in the process of getting used to consistently calling me by the correct name and pronouns; I haven't had any issues with her at all, she's not transphobic or anything and she's just about got the name and pronouns down :)
So my youngest nephew is 4, and I'm not super worried about him. He keeps asking me if I'm a boy or girl, so I say "Boy"; he says I can't be a boy because I sound like a girl, therefore, I must be a girl. Again, he's 4--my voice is getting deeper all the time, so he'll come around :P
My other nephews are 7 and almost 11--they're the ones I'm not really sure how to approach with this. Some advice I've received is to throw a little "party" to celebrate my new name and pronouns, to drive home that it's a good thing, not a bad thing. I dunno, that sounds insanely awkward to me, just not my cup of tea :P I've also heard that I could maybe take them out to lunch to tell them, again, to show that it's something to celebrate, but sadly my sister lives in Germany and I don't have a license to drive here. And the idea of asking my sister "Hey can you drive me and your children to a restaurant so I can have a coming out lunch?" makes me feel weird. So that's out. I've also heard the idea of having them fill out gender bread men--I've done those before and I think they're fun and cute, but I also think they may be a bit complex for the younger nephew. Plus, I feel that that's too much like homework, they'd be so bored.
So! Yeah, this is where I am. Idk, maybe I'm making too big a deal of it and I should just be like "Oh yeah by the way I'm actually a guy" and leave it there. I'm open to advice here! Telling them feels so much weirder and scarier than telling anyone else has, except maybe my dad. Idk. ??? ??? ???
My preference was always towards a controlled environment where if the have a bad reaction, they still retain their dignity. I would pick home, possibly with a parent or two around. If you want to make it a special event, order pizza afterward. If they react badly, they have to option of going to their room or outside to be away from you and think about their issues. Probably they won't care at all and you can progress to the pizza but in either case, they won't feel walled in.