Ok, so as well all know crossing your legs is comfortable, feels right, and very feminine.
So what am I doing wrong? I can only seem to do right over left, and after a while the muscles on the outside are KILLING ME.
Is this a bone thing? Muscle thing? Do i just need practice? Does the presence of that devil member hurt how this works properly?
I do have giant muscley thighs, which isnt helping.
Any suggestions? Or should I just keep doing it and hope I get stretched out?
Quote from: generalchaos34 on June 18, 2018, 04:56:19 PM
Ok, so as well all know crossing your legs is comfortable, feels right, and very feminine.
So what am I doing wrong? I can only seem to do right over left, and after a while the muscles on the outside are KILLING ME.
Is this a bone thing? Muscle thing? Do i just need practice? Does the presence of that devil member hurt how this works properly?
I do have giant muscley thighs, which isnt helping.
Any suggestions? Or should I just keep doing it and hope I get stretched out?
Hmmm, I have never heard of that issue as you described it.
Regarding crossing our legs, even cis-women alternate crossing their legs after a time.... just like shifting your position in bed....
...but not being able to cross left over right... hmm, I don't know what to say.... my suggestion is that if it hurts or if it is uncomfortable, then don't do it, perhaps talk to your doctor about the issue. Meanwhile no onlooker is ever going to call you out for only crossing your right over left.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 18, 2018, 05:07:57 PM
Hmmm, I have never heard of that issue as you described it.
Regarding crossing our legs, even cis-women alternate crossing their legs after a time.... just like shifting your position in bed....
...but not being able to cross left over right... hmm, I don't know what to say.... my suggestion is that if it hurts or if it is uncomfortable, then don't do it, perhaps talk to your doctor about the issue. Meanwhile no onlooker is ever going to call you out for only crossing your right over left.
Hugs,
Danielle
I wouldnt say it hurts, just dosent feel comfortable. All I can figure is ive got too much muscle or i need to work on flexibility.
The muscles are a bit of a catch 22. For the first time in my life I actually want to be healthy and fit (i want to rock a bikini one day, somehow!), but im not on HRT so im making nasty male musculature.
All I can say is that I have seen threads on this before. It isn't just you.
Quote from: HappyMoni on June 18, 2018, 05:20:44 PM
All I can say is that I have seen threads on this before. It isn't just you.
Oh good, i was worried that this was going to be a penis based problem and I dont want to wait a few years in order to sit properly! Plus i never ever crossed my legs before now pretty much in order to allay suspicion that I may have feminine traits, despite the other extremely feminine activities I participate (once again, im really terrible at being a man)
Shifting your weight forward more when sitting is something that many seem to forget, also shifting forward and putting more weight on the leg that is on the bottom. Those with larger/thicker thighs will find that weight shift to make things easier and the whole "lean in" look works better for women.
I am a yoga practitioner and I learned early on just how asymmetrical our musculature is, even though we may look perfectly symmetrical externally. I find that I have one crossing that is more comfortable than the other. If I do not change any other part of my posture and simply shift my crossed legs, within a few minutes I will be in discomfort. My partner is a yoga instructor (very convenient!) and she has pointed out why she believes this is so.
Maybe try shifting your pelvis a little to re-tension your muscle load?
<holding envelope to forehead>
Eleven.....how many posts before someone posts a picture of their legs double crossed. ;D
Quote from: Devlyn on June 18, 2018, 05:42:17 PM
<holding envelope to forehead>
Eleven.....how many posts before someone posts a picture of their legs double crossed. ;D
Wellllll..... not quite.
(https://i.imgur.com/cZA4j2F.jpg)
I can't at all comfortably. Thighs too muscular can cause that, mine are too fat probably. Ignore the funky weird toes. 😜 Sheesh, I really should maintain myself better!
I have to sit with my knees close together, lower legs out and feet turned in slightly. Sometimes with feet together but both off to one side or the other, and sometimes with feet crossed under the seat if possible.
Human peoples come in all shapes and sizes. We do what we can with what we have. Being feminine can be achieved in so many ways, pay attention to the feminine women you see and go with what works for you.
Quote from: generalchaos34 on June 18, 2018, 04:56:19 PM
Ok, so as well all know crossing your legs is comfortable, feels right, and very feminine.
So what am I doing wrong? I can only seem to do right over left, and after a while the muscles on the outside are KILLING ME.
Is this a bone thing? Muscle thing? Do i just need practice? Does the presence of that devil member hurt how this works properly?
I do have giant muscley thighs, which isnt helping.
Any suggestions? Or should I just keep doing it and hope I get stretched out?
It is not related with fatness so much. You may practice stretching and exercise.
In my case, I regularly stretch my legs and can sit on lotus position. BTW, I am not a yoga practioner.
(https://images.cdn-outlet.com/yo-userfiles/Guide/image/Yoga/Yoga_How-to-do-lotus-pose_01_300x350.jpg)
https://www.yogaoutlet.com/guides/how-to-do-lotus-pose-in-yoga
barbie~~
It's flexibility, not musculature. My thighs are 25" with not much fat and I can cross my legs either way without a problem. It's very comfortable and without strain.
Double crossing them though is something I can't do.
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I always preferred crossing my legs female-style long before I considered transitioning. It just felt more comfortable than guy-style, ankle-over-knee.
I have to re-cross them the other way every 15 or 20 minutes, as sitting the one way gets uncomfortable after a while.
Being unable to cross your legs one way would be awkward. It is a flexibility thing. Flexibility can apparently be learned, with lots of practice, though it's easier to hang on to youthful flexibility than to re-acquire it after it has gone. I have never been able to get into the lotus position, despite being motivated to do so.
I have been on hrt for over 5 years and post op 1.5 years. I have very muscular legs but they are thin. My thighs just touch. Going back November 2016 crossing my legs was very uncomfortable. Now with the changes it is comfortable. I also lost 30 pounds. Before hrt crossing my legs was painful after 5 minutes.
Quote from: HappyMoni on June 18, 2018, 05:20:44 PM
All I can say is that I have seen threads on this before. It isn't just you.
Yes I remember a thread similar to this one, which had members one upping each other, with comments such as "I can cross my legs, and wrap the foot on my upper leg under the calf of my lower leg!"; "that's nice, but when I cross my legs, I can wrap the foot on my upper leg 5 times around my other lower leg like a boa constrictor on a tree branch, and lick my elbow!!"😀
...It's just a matter of flexibility; I could cross my legs when I was extremely muscular and weighed 220 lbs.with very low body fat, but I did a lot of stretching, and I practiced tai chi.
Quote from: MissyMay2.0 on June 18, 2018, 07:58:21 PM
Yes I remember a thread similar to this one, which had members one upping each other, with comments such as "I can cross my legs, and wrap the foot on my upper leg under the calf of my lower leg!"; "that's nice, but when I cross my legs, I can wrap the foot on my upper leg 5 times around my other lower leg like a boa constrictor on a tree branch, and lick my elbow!!😀
...It's just a matter of flexibility; I could cross my legs when I was extremely muscular and weighed 220 lbs.with very low body fat, but I did a lot of stretching, and I practiced tai chi.
then its settled, to the yoga-torium! also some super sexy and comfortable yoga pants!
Quote from: MissyMay2.0 on June 18, 2018, 07:58:21 PM
Yes I remember a thread similar to this one, which had members one upping each other, with comments such as "I can cross my legs, and wrap the foot on my upper leg under the calf of my lower leg!"; "that's nice, but when I cross my legs, I can wrap the foot on my upper leg 5 times around my other lower leg like a boa constrictor on a tree branch, and lick my elbow!!😀
...It's just a matter of flexibility; I could cross my legs when I was extremely muscular and weighed 220 lbs.with very low body fat, but I did a lot of stretching, and I practiced tai chi.
The Peppermint Patty Twist, I remember that thread well! :laugh:
I found that as I lost weight it got easier as my thighs got thinner. I do have a preferred side, but I just thought it was from one thigh being bigger than the other because of DVTs I had, which caused lymphedema.
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Yall are missing probably the more obvious factor.. there truly are (sadly) anatomical differences between male vs female (cis) hip bones. The angling from which the leg exits the hip makes a difference, and helps ladies cross their legs easier. Also like has been said weight makes a difference, big thick thighs don't cross well.
Plus practice I think... makes a difference. There's a number of factors involved :) Maybe this helps, maybe it doesn't.
Quote from: Doreen on June 18, 2018, 08:56:40 PM
Yall are missing probably the more obvious factor.. there truly are (sadly) anatomical differences between male vs female (cis) hip bones. The angling from which the leg exits the hip makes a difference, and helps ladies cross their legs easier. Also like has been said weight makes a difference, big thick thighs don't cross well.
Plus practice I think... makes a difference. There's a number of factors involved :) Maybe this helps, maybe it doesn't.
Ok, fair enough, but some cis males can do the splits as well as cis females, and not all cis females can do the splits, so I feel that flexibility is mainly responsible for being able to cross your legs. Look at all of the cis males who can cross there legs with ease, just watch a talk show or two, or more if you're so inclined, and you will see a lot of cis male actors cross their legs. There is a stereotypical way that men are expected to cross their legs, but when they cross their legs in what is considered to be how females cross their legs they seem to come across as more of an intellectual type of man. And some cis women cross their legs in the stereotypical guy style also. It's leg crossing, do we really need to call in a specialist to figure this out?
Quote from: MissyMay2.0 on June 18, 2018, 10:10:47 PM
Ok, fair enough, but some cis males can do the splits as well as cis females, and not all cis females can do the splits, so I feel that flexibility is mainly responsible for being able to cross your legs. Look at all of the cis males who can cross there legs with ease, just watch a talk show or two, or more if you're so inclined, and you will see a lot of cis male actors cross their legs. There is a stereotypical way that men are expected to cross their legs, but when they cross their legs in what is considered to be how females cross their legs they seem to come across as more of an intellectual type of man. And some cis women cross their legs in the stereotypical guy style also. It's leg crossing, do we really need to call in a specialist to figure this out?
I whole heartedly agree actually :) Some males will find it more difficult as a whole (or AMAB). Doesn't mean all males do. You're absolutely right. Plus I've seen overweight (and sometimes skinny) women with their legs splayed apart for all the world to see just like any dude. Far too common actually.
Flexibility is a key issue. HRT will help that. But weight (overweight) can also be a big issue. My weight goes up and down (sort of an indicator of how well I am doing with the idea of transition -- weight down = better transition). At low weight I can cross my legs. At higher weight no. I see guys who are skinny who can cross their legs... Talk about frustrating; sitting in a room with men and women and I am the only one not crossing my legs (and wanting to be able to).
Stretching exercises is an area I have to look at.
I find crossing my right leg over my left leg far more comfortable than the opposite. Don't know why.
Hugs and smiles, Jessica
Hope you don't mind me adding my 2cents? AFAB here (and also did a fair bit of ballet)
I always found crossing one side easier than crossing the other side. I have to assume it's partly muscle tightness on that side or relative muscle strength in holding the position.
I also found it much more taxing to cross my legs and hold the position when I was more overweight. It does make a difference for me.
I can't speak much for the specifics of flexibility require for crossing your legs in a sitting position, not something I've looked into!
But in general, basic flexibility is more about muscle relaxation than about ligament laxity (unless you are looking for ballet-style hyperextension) Most people should be able to achieve the splits, but it's best done by muscle release and learning which bits tighten up in you and need work. From head to toe! Spasms and tightness anywhere down the chain can pinch nerves (so they cannot slide when you stretch) and prevent flexibility.
Hips I'm not so sure about. I know that there are definite limitations in turn-out due to bone structure of the joint. Not sure that turn out is relevant to leg-crossing though. As was said, there are skeletal differences between men and women, the relevant one likely being the Q angle of hips. Women tend to have a bigger Q angle than men so the thighs point more across/in to begin with.
Hormones do affect ligament laxity. I have hypermobility syndrome/EDS and I can tell when my period is due because of the increase instability, subluxes and general chaos and pain! Certain female hormones make the ligaments more stretchy (partly why pregnant women sometimes use pelvic supports because the ligaments loosen for childbirth and pelvis kind of pulls apart).
But be careful what you wish for! It's better to become more flexible through muscle release than ligament stretching - lax ligaments lead to instability, dislocations, sprains and a host of other problems.
Off the top of my head I'd imagine that the best muscles to stretch for crossing your legs will be IT-band related, abductors and piriformis area (though lots of little bits around there than can tighten up, tennis ball releases can help you find them) Maybe some strengthening of the inner thigh/adductors.
Also finding the precise position that is most comfortable for you. How high up the femur you try to start to cross, how you angle the underneath leg and shin. or cheating a bit by resting the back of the top knee over the lower one.
FWIW I think a lot of cis-women feel uncomfortable after a while, and need to shift position.
Women didn't start sitting with crossed legs because it was comfortable or natural, but because it was more "seemly".
Hope you find something that works to achieve what you want! :-)
I wasn't expecting this, but have a personal experience with it. Since starting HRT and even before that when I began transitioning in my mind, I started losing weight and exercising with a different type of goal. I could never get the feminine looking crossing my legs at the knee thing before and just out of curiosity tried it, and by golly it was pretty comfortable, right over left a little more than left over right. Now if I could just get a little more open space at the very top of my legs it would be perfect.
It is all about balancing and past posture. Like years of sitting with knees wide apart. (Oh the horror!) Try getting into some Pilates courses and develop your muscles/tendons equally. My coach gave me some exercises that helped with this very problem.
Might just be the way you're built specifically. I sit with my legs crossed left over right about 70% of the time and then switch. It always seems to grow more uncomfortable more quickly with right over left so I switch back faster. When I first started sitting that way it was rather sore for the first day but then it just seemed natural.
And (incidentally) I know I use it as a way to signal myself that I about as feminine as feminine can get but I recently found out my dad does it too. And he's an alpha male backwoods country boy from just off the bayou in NE Louisiana... Go figure. I couldn't stop staring. It kinda freaked me out. ???
Just a thought... last year I strained a muscle in my leg and it didn't seem like it did much damage right when it happened, but for months afterward, it hurt to position my leg in a certain way, while my other leg was fine in the same position. It got better, but it took half a year or more. So, if one of your legs is sore in a position and the other isn't in the same position, maybe you pulled a muscle at some point and didn't realize it until now?
My partner is cis and she doesn't find crossing her legs comfortable either, whereas I do. She does however cross her legs like is see a lot of guys doing, with her ankle on top of her knee. It really just comes down to whatever is comfortable. You do you (:
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I've been told that leg crossing is actually bad for circulation, which is something to consider if you are on HRT, so even though I can easily cross my legs, I don't do it for long periods of time, and I alternate between crossing my legs and crossing my ankles.
I can cross my center leg over either of my other ones. >:-)
Quote from: Devlyn on June 20, 2018, 04:56:26 PM
I can cross my center leg over either of my other ones. >:-)
If the tripod fits...😉😀
Just finished my daily yoga practice when I saw this post:
https://imgur.com/a/oRTSKJZ (https://imgur.com/a/oRTSKJZ)
(https://imgur.com/a/oRTSKJZ)
My wife hates when I double cross my legs because she thinks it looks effeminate. Shrug it's always been comfortable to me. My Mother explained to her I have done it since I was a boy.
My Carnac is on the fritz, I better get it to the shop. :laugh:
Quote from: Devlyn on June 18, 2018, 05:42:17 PM
<holding envelope to forehead>
Eleven.....how many posts before someone posts a picture of their legs double crossed. ;D
Reply #31 on: Today at 06:16:03 pm
Just finished my daily yoga practice when I saw this post:
https://imgur.com/a/oRTSKJZ
Quote from: Devlyn on June 20, 2018, 05:55:48 PM
My Carnac is on the fritz, I better get it to the shop. :laugh:
Reply #31 on: Today at 06:16:03 pm
Just finished my daily yoga practice when I saw this post:
https://imgur.com/a/oRTSKJZ
Gotta admit. That's impressive.
Need to work on my flexibility :laugh:.
After decades of leg crossing I basically stopped and don't regret it. I began to have soreness in one hip and suspected it might lead to an eventual need for hip replacement surgery, as my mother had. After a few years of not leg crossing and also avoiding single-leg standing I have no hip soreness to speak of. I also used to have back soreness all the time and basically don't anymore. I think part of that is also due eliminating low chair sitting as well. When at a computer, as I am right now, I either stand or sit on a high stool.
So, consider not crossing you legs at all. There are some very ladylike ways to sit without crossing your legs.