I told her that I'm a ftm, and she just said that I'm wrong, and I thought I'm transgender because I play with boys when I was young, what should I do to let her know I am really a transgender and make her accept it. Also, I am only 12.
Hi, Stephen!
Welcome to Susan's.
Congratulations on having the courage to come out to your mother. I am sorry that she was not supportive. Unfortunately, at 12, your options are limited. Is there a school counsellor you could talk to? Unfortunately, not all school systems are friendly to trans kids, so that could be a hit-or-miss option.
I hope some of the younger folks or some of the parents here will have some more ideas for you. Unfortunately, I am neither.
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Hello Stephen,
I could almost guarantee one thing that could help. if you both could sit down together and watch the excellent National Geographic special called gender revolution with Katie Couric. I know it'll have some impact on your mother. And could possibly change her mind entirely I hope.
my oldest sister is a psychologist and I know she never really believed me either
But after watching this excellent documentary she completely jumped ship and now is very supportive of me
If it worked for me I sure hope it will work for you.
If you can just watch it together I know it'll have an impact on your mother I sure hope it's positive.
If it did help you I sure would love to hear about it in the future.
Good luck with this and the best of everything for your future love Tatiana
Thanks Kathy and Tatiana
But the problem is that she doesn't admit that I'm a transgender, she said that I was wrong about myself
Stephen that's exactly what my sister said about me.
But if you can do what I said somehow someway anyway possible it will have an effect.
like I told you earlier my sister is a psychologist and has had a lifetime of experience in it and she was very sure to that I was wrong but I'm telling you after seeing this documentary she completely changed her ideas and admitted she fell behind the times and the current thinking
If you can get this documentary through any means please give it a try it really is excellent and very interesting but more importantly it could put your mother on your side at least this is what I'm hoping. If you have to don't even tell her what she's going to watch because once you start watching it you both will probably be sucked into it. it definitely is at least worth a try isn't it hugs and love Tatiana
Welcome to Susan's Place. Often parents have difficulty understanding the truth because they have lived with us for so long that they can't see us any other way. This means it will be more difficult for you and you will need to educate yourself so you can present a better argument. Probably the best links I have for that is "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) after you view them yourself, you might want to have your mother sit down and tell her how you would answer the questions in the segment. Your only other option is a school therapist or if your mother would permit you to see a gender therapist.
You might also consider visiting the Youth Talk (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,496.0.html) section of the forum. It's not very active right now, possibly because of summer vacation but it can be busy at other times.
Thanks guys
Stephen, congrats on taking a big step coming out.
If you JUST came out to her, give her some time. It could have taken her very much by surprize.
I don't know about coming out to my parents, they are no longer with me but when I came out to my mother-in-law, she didn't beleive it at first. After a few weeks she focused on what could have caused me to me transgender (MTF). As time passed she became more accepting and supportive. In a few days I'm having top surgery and she's offered to help me during my recovery and help me take care of my son.
She just needed time to figure it out. She needed to get there at her own pace, much like you took some time to accept it yourself.
Just focus on being true to yourself and give her time. Bring it up to her again in a week or so. If she's still not on board give it a little more time and try again.
In the mean time, welcome here. Everyone here will make you feel at home. AND don't be in too much of a hurry. You have a long an amazing journey ahead. Try and enjoy the ride not just focus on the destination.
Thanks Shawnna
You could ask her to set up counselling for you and after a few sessions invite her in for one, you and the counselor will have a repore by then and you won't be alone talking to her then.
It's a huge step and your so brave stepping up. Please don't give up
Thanks Donna.
Congratulations on that first brave step!
You mom has known you as a girl for 12 years. Don't lose heart. Your mom needs to process the new information.
When I got my diagnoses ADHD and Tourette's syndrome as an adult, my mom said instantly "The doctor is wrong!" But I kept my head cool for 3 months. For 3 long months she stared at me like I was an alien. But then something happened. She realized it was not her fault she had missed my disabilities as a kid, she did not have the knowledge. She started to understand all strange jerks I have.
What I want to say is stay cool, give her time and be confident in who you are. You need to educate yourself to educate her. Tiny hints now and then, not too much info when she is in the denial/processing state.
If you continue to be your true self she will come around. If you can, avoid jumping back and forth with who you are. If you are sure about who you are, your mom will be too eventually.
You can also ask her if she can help you find a gender therapist. A gender therapist is a specialist in the subject, other therapists might not have the knowledge and experience to help you on your journey.
Tony
Thanks Tony.