I'm up to two so far since going full time 6 months ago. The first was a taxi cab driver that wanted his penis hard. The second was someone(answered craigslist ad) who came over to work on the house then started sending me crazy/sexual texts.
I don't consider myself super hot like other trans girls my age I'm maybe 50% passable. Do some men just objectify us or not see many transgirls then forget how to behave? Or do they think it's like picking up a guy and decide that we think its OK to be lewd? I like to be treated like a lady not some guy you're trying to have sex with.
Quite apart from regular misogyny, there are some men who objectify trans women as sex objects. They are educated mostly by the porn industry, and assume that we all want sex with them.
I haven't had this happen to me in real life, but it is very common on the internet, and happens to many trans women in real life. Sorry to hear that it has happened to you.
Sorry this is happening to you. Do know that not all men are like that, many are respectable and won't try anything like this.
Also ps: NEVER and I mean NEVER trust craigslist with anything. Just some life tips for the future
Quote from: KathyLauren on August 05, 2018, 04:47:29 PM
Quite apart from regular misogyny, there are some men who objectify trans women as sex objects. They are educated mostly by the porn industry, and assume that we all want sex with them.
I haven't had this happen to me in real life, but it is very common on the internet, and happens to many trans women in real life. Sorry to hear that it has happened to you.
Toxic masculinity. Yay.
"You want me cause porn says so"
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Since you are talking about weird things guys do, maybe I can get an opinion on something that happened on the road. As far as I can tell there is nothing wrong with my car, I didn't cut anyone off or anything but this guy pulls along side of me on the highway on my right, beeps his horn, and puts his hands together to make a circle, looking at me. 'A whole', 'a circle,' I don't know. He then veers off and goes off on the exit. I got off on the next exit and everything was fine. I hadn't noticed him before that. Was he trying to get me to the side of the road to rob me? I can't figure it out.
Sorry for your weird experiences Lexie!
Quote from: HappyMoni on August 05, 2018, 06:22:53 PM
Since you are talking about weird things guys do, maybe I can get an opinion on something that happened on the road. As far as I can tell there is nothing wrong with my car, I didn't cut anyone off or anything but this guy pulls along side of me on the highway on my right, beeps his horn, and puts his hands together to make a circle, looking at me. 'A whole', 'a circle,' I don't know. He then veers off and goes off on the exit. I got off on the next exit and everything was fine. I hadn't noticed him before that. Was he trying to get me to the side of the road to rob me? I can't figure it out.
Sorry for your weird experiences Lexie!
Not my experiences. But thank you. And I have no idea about what happened to you.
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I'm a weirdo magnet. Once overheard a guy tell his kid (kid around 13!) that he'd like to get 3 blocks up me when mum has her period, it'd be OK with Mum because I'm not a real girl!Yuck, he was fat, balding, dressed like a tramp & smelled so not really babe magnet material
Quote from: big kim on August 05, 2018, 06:46:05 PM
I'm a weirdo magnet. Once overheard a guy tell his kid (kid around 13!) that he'd like to get 3 blocks up me when mum has her period, it'd be OK with Mum because I'm not a real girl!Yuck, he was fat, balding, dressed like a tramp & smelled so not really babe magnet material
Oh gawd. Ew ew ew ew!
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Oh yuck!
Guess I confused Lexi with Lexie. Or is it the only way round. Big Kim's story got me flummoxed.
Quote from: HappyMoni on August 05, 2018, 07:18:06 PM
Oh yuck!
Guess I confused Lexi with Lexie. Or is it the only way round. Big Kim's story got me flummoxed.
Op is Lexi (no e) ;p
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Its the nature of men. Sex. CIS women face this all the time and isn't it more reassuring that you are sexually attractive to men. And yes, some men just fantazise about sex with a tg. You can get agressive or smile.
I get it when I talk to them after they see me and say "You are a boy I thought you were a girl!" Then they get all excited.
Sorry, those things happened to you, that really hurts at times. People can express attraction and interest in you without being objectifying. Like taking the time to be your friend. (I know crazy right?)
I do not consider such behaviors to be intrinsic to men, I've known plenty of men that did not do those things. Rather, they are culturally learned and reinforced as part of misogyny and a culture of control. Thankfully the culture is improving slowly and it is getting less accepted to do these things.
Yes, I had guys follow me a few blocks until I would turn around or go to a street with more people. I had a guy on a train pleasure himself while looking at me in the door reflection. I've gotten cat called by groups of guys and looked at like a piece of meat. Guys I've never seen before randomly ask me if I smoke weed.
I'm not even a year on hrt yet. Needless to say I left nyc and now usually get around by car. It hasn't been long here but I do get scared night when I'm alone. I don't think anyone would target me but I feel vulnerable for sure. Not a good feeling.
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It has come to my attention that it's likely more dangerous out in public social spaces for transwomen than it is for transmen, in general or on average. I'm detransitioning after a long transition and many people around me (also strangers) believe I'm a cis guy cause I both passed well and was stealth in many spaces in my small village, during my ftm transition. So now, also with my effects of the testosterone I took, it seems I'm often perceived to be a transwoman, or a crossdresser.
I present feminine but struggle a bit to fully pass as my birth sex now, I'm legally male and have a male name legally, my ID-card shows me as a man. So that comes with some social issues and I feel a lot more unsafe for how I present and how I come off now, compared to when I was non- and barely passing ftm transitioning.
I've noticed very clearly that people seem a lot more threatened/uncomfortable by my presence when they assume I'm a feminine amab person, than they did when I was assumed to be a masculine afab person. I feel much more like a target for sh*tty people now. And I can only assume that maybe some transwomen have similar experiences with that.
However I've not gotten into any actual trouble yet, thankfully. I've only gotten disapproving/frowning looks from strangers, them avoiding eye contact with me, avoiding using any pronouns for me, and even avoiding talking to me at all. I mean people like store clerks and staff at sport halls, etc, whom are necessary to interract with from time to time.
As for sexual invites/encounters, I obviously can't know from own experience how it is or can be for transwomen.
Hi Lexi, sorry that's happened to you. I feel like Robyn is pretty right on with her comment regarding that it's a cultural or learned type of behavior. I will say that encounters like that can definitely be creepy and sometimes scary. It's one of those awareness things that we probably all need to work on...or be aware of. LOL Gotta keep your freak radar on and tracking.
I've had a few bumps along the way and I always felt like, "what...really??? You're that desperate??" 6 years ago I had a boss that was constantly needing to meet with me. I guess I was too dense to pick up on it and not until I asked some peers along with a some comments from him did I put it together. It escalated from clothing suggestions - things he liked to see, to him whipping it out one day and telling me how lucky I was to be able to have it. OMG! right? I laugh about it now but it was terribly annoying back then. I talked to his admin assistant and she said that he did crap like that all the time - her included. Like most, we didn't want the attention or drama that goes with reporting so we just dealt with it. And yes, that's how it's perpetuated with creeps like that but one has to weight the benefits and consequences of reporting vs. dealing with it and/or moving on.
That was the most blatant and obnoxious encounter I've ever had but like others, I've gotten a few lewd requests. I shake my head and laugh at them now and comment that they must really be desperate.
I believe there is a small subset of men who seriously believe transgender women are sexual freaks and basically nymphomaniacs. Whether it is ignorance, misinformation or just plan old prejudice, they just don't have the information to understand transpeople. With all the misinformation out there (see the bathroom debates where the opposition is implying transgender people just want in the restrooms to molest children and the like) I don't find it hard to believe that some low intelligence men think transwomen are basically blow up sex dolls that are just begging for it. That being said, there's always going to be the group that are just a pieces of crap right out of the gate and nothing is going to change that.