Almost 5 weeks post-op and trying to step up to the Purple dilator. Seems impossible as I can only get it in to the first dot. It just will not go any further. Sometimes I just want to force it in because I get so frustrated!
I can take the smallest dilator (Orange) in to the forth dot with no problems. So my depth is average, but my diameter is just too small for Purple.
Any suggestions? I lie on my back for dilating with my feet propped up on a keyboard stool. That's the best position I have found so far. My next follow up is 9 days and I will ask Doctor, but it's you ladies that have the experience with dilating and I value your help. Thank You!
Have you tried dynamic dilation, as used by Suporn patients. It should be good for increasing width.
OK since I just got through with this myself:
Get the orange one in first and wait until you're good and relaxed with that one. Next make sure the purple one is good and greased up. Remember the angle that the orange one takes to go in, and follow that. You're going to hit the muscle there and it takes a conscious effort to relax it. Play with your hip position, leg position, and gently push. I find that rotating the dilator a bit to wiggle it in helps. Just push until you feel the canal stretching and if it's too much back off a bit until the discomfort subsides and try again. If in doubt, add more lube. You may want to try adding a bit of a liquid (but still water based) lubricant to make things glide a bit better.
That's what worked for me anyway.
Thank You for the good tips honey! ♥ I will try them all during round 2 today. I'm just afraid to be bold with the depth because I don't want to mess anything up down there. It's scary, isn't it?
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 13, 2018, 01:51:26 PM
OK since I just got through with this myself:
Get the orange one in first and wait until you're good and relaxed with that one. Next make sure the purple one is good and greased up. Remember the angle that the orange one takes to go in, and follow that. You're going to hit the muscle there and it takes a conscious effort to relax it. Play with your hip position, leg position, and gently push. I find that rotating the dilator a bit to wiggle it in helps. Just push until you feel the canal stretching and if it's too much back off a bit until the discomfort subsides and try again. If in doubt, add more lube. You may want to try adding a bit of a liquid (but still water based) lubricant to make things glide a bit better.
That's what worked for me anyway.
I will look up the dynamic dilation. Thanks honey! ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 13, 2018, 09:00:44 AM
Have you tried dynamic dilation, as used by Suporn patients. It should be good for increasing width.
Quote from: Violet on August 13, 2018, 04:35:51 PM
Thank You for the good tips honey! ♥ I will try them all during round 2 today. I'm just afraid to be bold with the depth because I don't want to mess anything up down there. It's scary, isn't it?
Oh I understand that concern for sure. But at least for me the thing that is stopping the dilator at that first dot isn't the back wall of the canal but rather the PC muscle. You just need to work on stretching it out, and it will so long as you're persistent and gentle.
It must be the PC muscle, Yes! I layed the orange and purple beside each other and lined up the dots. There is a little over 1 inch extra on the orange so it must be the muscle. Thanks again ♥ Colleen_definitely ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 13, 2018, 04:43:26 PM
Oh I understand that concern for sure. But at least for me the thing that is stopping the dilator at that first dot isn't the back wall of the canal but rather the PC muscle. You just need to work on stretching it out, and it will so long as you're persistent and gentle.
Yep the dots on all of the standard soul source dilators are at the same depths so you can compare them to each other.
That last inch is killing me. Much pain today which I suspect is from the purple dilator. Is this normal? I was feeling a little better until I started on the purple. Follow up appointment next week. Maybe I should just use the orange dilator until then, but I really want to be able to take that purple! ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 13, 2018, 05:06:05 PM
Yep the dots on all of the standard soul source dilators are at the same depths so you can compare them to each other.
You'll get there, just take your time and add a bit of lubricant if you need to. Backing off an inch or so and going back seems to help work lube in deeper and makes that last little bit easier for me. It took me a few tries to get that thing in all the way, it definitely wasn't a quick process.
Thank You Honey! May I ask which brand of lube you are using? My Doctor gave me a bag full of MedChoice Jelly Lube, but I am almost out. ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 14, 2018, 09:23:56 AM
You'll get there, just take your time and add a bit of lubricant if you need to. Backing off an inch or so and going back seems to help work lube in deeper and makes that last little bit easier for me. It took me a few tries to get that thing in all the way, it definitely wasn't a quick process.
"ID Glide" liquid and a bit of house brand KY jelly stuff from walmart that does not have sodium hydroxide as an ingredient. The glide stuff is really slick and helps a lot for me.
I tried the astroglide gel and it ended up causing some irritation, or at least some irritation happened when I was using it. You might have better luck with it and it's definitely slicker than the KY knockoff stuff. I have a feeling it is a bit too high PH wise for me down there, though I haven't actually tested its PH.
I will buy the biggest bottle of ID Glide then. Maybe I should buy a case since I am in this for the long haul. LOL Perhaps dilating will be much easier when all of my swelling goes down. I can't wait to see my new vagina all closed up because right now it looks like a flower in full bloom! LOL ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 14, 2018, 09:30:54 AM
"ID Glide" liquid and a bit of house brand KY jelly stuff from walmart that does not have sodium hydroxide as an ingredient. The glide stuff is really slick and helps a lot for me.
I tried the astroglide gel and it ended up causing some irritation, or at least some irritation happened when I was using it. You might have better luck with it and it's definitely slicker than the KY knockoff stuff. I have a feeling it is a bit too high PH wise for me down there, though I haven't actually tested its PH.
I'd stay away from lube with silicone early on as it can interfere with healing.
Yep, that's what my Doc said too. Also, I am not allowed to Douche and I really wish I could. I hate the thought of that old lube staying inside me, but Doc said it would act as a Douche. Of course, it does nothing for the smell though! LOL No Dating for me for awhile! LOL ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 14, 2018, 09:52:12 AM
I'd stay away from lube with silicone early on as it can interfere with healing.
Interesting, my doc had me using a douche starting the second week after surgery.
Seems that each Doctor is different. My Doctor said it would interfere with the tissues healing. I will beg him to let me douche when I see him next week, which will be my 6th week post-op. Also I read somewhere to put some Bacitracin along with the lube on the dilator for the last dilation of the day. Gonna ask about that too. ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 14, 2018, 10:35:38 AM
Interesting, my doc had me using a douche starting the second week after surgery.
To get the dilator in as far as it will go, start out with you legs up and spread out. Once you get the dilator started, lower your legs so they are flat, in line with your body and your feet just spaced enough so you have room between your legs for your hand to hold the dilator. For me, my feet are spaced about a foot or about 30 CM apart. Keep constant pressure on the dilator as it may take a minute or two before reaching maximum depth. It's possible it could take several dilation session before everything is stretched out all the way to the end.
I will try that for round 2 today! Thank You Dena! ♥
Quote from: Dena on August 14, 2018, 04:26:32 PM
To get the dilator in as far as it will go, start out with you legs up and spread out. Once you get the dilator started, lower your legs so they are flat, in line with your body and your feet just spaced enough so you have room between your legs for your hand to hold the dilator. For me, my feet are spaced about a foot or about 30 CM apart. Keep constant pressure on the dilator as it may take a minute or two before reaching maximum depth. It's possible it could take several dilation session before everything is stretched out all the way to the end.
Going up a dilator size can be intimidating. make sure you use the next lowest size dilator first. Lube well. Then go up to the next size dilator. Slight rotation back and forth while pushing in is what I did.
Take your time and relax. It will hurt a bit and there may be some blood spotting. Although it may feel like you are putting a large object in there but it is just 1/8 inch greater in diameter.
If it becomes a bit much then back out. It is ok to get it in a bit and rest then proceed to go in farther.
The 1/8" diameter equals 3/8" in extra circumference which equals to skin stretch on going from orange to purple. I am 1 week short of 2 months and have used the purple for the last 3 weeks gradually working it to full depth. Currently 1 dot short of orange and it still hurts during and after. Btw my max depth ended up being 3 dots total. But it shouldn't be a problem with my wife and I. :)
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Looks like I am right behind you! On my fifth week and just started with the purple. Finally got three dots in tonight and I have one more session to go. I am just so afraid of damaging myself. ♥
Quote from: cdhd2001 on August 14, 2018, 06:58:22 PM
The 1/8" diameter equals 3/8" in extra circumference which equals to skin stretch on going from orange to purple. I am 1 week short of 2 months and have used the purple for the last 3 weeks gradually working it to full depth. Currently 1 dot short of orange and it still hurts during and after. Btw my max depth ended up being 3 dots total. But it shouldn't be a problem with my wife and I. :)
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Very intimidating yes! I am so afraid of damaging myself. ♥
Quote from: Rachel on August 14, 2018, 06:24:58 PM
Going up a dilator size can be intimidating. make sure you use the next lowest size dilator first. Lube well. Then go up to the next size dilator. Slight rotation back and forth while pushing in is what I did.
Take your time and relax. It will hurt a bit and there may be some blood spotting. Although it may feel like you are putting a large object in there but it is just 1/8 inch greater in diameter.
If it becomes a bit much then back out. It is ok to get it in a bit and rest then proceed to go in farther.
I would like to thank you all for the good advice! Hope y'all don't mind if I ask more questions. Tonight I managed to get three dots in on the purple dilator! I was so proud! LOL really! I am trying my best and slowly making progress. What holds me back the most is worrying that I might damage my new Vagina. SRS is a huge accomplishment for me. Mine was a ten hour surgery with everything done at once. $108K total cost including 5 day Hospital stay. I don't want to damage my Doctor's good work and I just love my proper genitalia so much! I probably sound silly, but last year I had a Heart Attack and that delayed my surgery by a full year. I am so lucky that my Doctor was willing to take a chance on me! Now it's up to me to finish my post-op.
Thanks again Ladies! My Love to you all! ♥ ♥ ♥
I applaud, and am in awe of your dedication to the result!
Great job, and never, never give up!
:-)
Kate
Thanks Honey! ♥
Quote from: KatieP on August 14, 2018, 11:58:18 PM
I applaud, and am in awe of your dedication to the result!
Great job, and never, never give up!
:-)
Kate
And no hammer required, good job! ;D
10 hours? WOW, that was a lot of work.
10 Yes. I don't know how much time was spent under the knife, but my girl that was with me told me. I felt bad that she had to wait that long, but they did everything to me at once. Now I can't wait to see the final result! Once everything closes up instead of being full bloomed! LOL I am slowly feeling better and better each day. Almost 5 weeks post-op now. ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 15, 2018, 08:18:37 AM
And no hammer required, good job! ;D
10 hours? WOW, that was a lot of work.
I am continuing these updates in the hopes that I might help someone else in the future.
This morning's dilation bought the same results. I can now take Purple almost to the second dot. Hopefully with today's remaining 2 sessions I will be able to go in further, but it feels like I am pushing in against a wall! I am trying different positions and angles along with constant gentle pressure, but something inside is stopping the dilator.
I am very afraid of accidentally hurting myself, but I try to listen to my body and gently force pressure by slightly going in and out with the dilator and sometimes twisting the dilator a little bit too. I still keep hitting that wall though. Darn!
Another thing is that even though I use gobs of lube (currently MediChoice Jelly) the purple dilator will dry lock to my vagina causing a little discomfort when removing the dilator.
I will ask my Doc next week, but I wonder if instead of inserting the dilator and gently pushing, how about inserting and removing the dilator repeatedly? Maybe the tissue is too weak to withstand that, but the vagina would surely get a good stretching!
I am 5 weeks post-op
If the lubes drying out you can just add some water. I'd not rotate the dilator, I've seen surgeons say not to do that. Sounds like your using the soul source dilator anyway, and with the bend in them they are not good for turning, only applying static pressure.
I make the dialator buy me a nice dinner first!!! ;D
Sorry!... Couldn't resist!!!...I remember well the fun of going up a size!!!... Keep doing what your're doing little sister... patience with the whole process of healing and the good advice here will take you far! Congrats on the courageous step forward towards making your life into what you choose! All shall be well
Onward we go!!!
Ashley :)
I didn't know that! Thank You! I did not think about the bend and yes they are soul source. ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 15, 2018, 05:21:15 PM
If the lubes drying out you can just add some water. I'd not rotate the dilator, I've seen surgeons say not to do that. Sounds like your using the soul source dilator anyway, and with the bend in them they are not good for turning, only applying static pressure.
:laugh: Good one honey! :laugh: And thank you for the encouragement lovely lady! ♥ ♥ ♥
Quote from: tgirlamc on August 15, 2018, 05:41:54 PM
I make the dialator buy me a nice dinner first!!! ;D
Sorry!... Couldn't resist!!!...I remember well the fun of going up a size!!!... Keep doing what your're doing little sister... patience with the whole process of healing and the good advice here will take you far! Congrats on the courageous step forward towards making your life into what you choose! All shall be well
Onward we go!!!
Ashley :)
I am getting very sore from Dilating. Is that normal ladies?? Darn it hurts, especially walking....
Quote from: Violet on August 15, 2018, 11:46:34 PM
I am getting very sore from Dilating. Is that normal ladies?? Darn it hurts, especially walking....
There is a period 5-8 weeks post-op where dilating becomes more difficult temporarily. This is the period when the fiberous scar tissue in the surgical site is contracting, or trying to contract. Dilation opposes this contraction, of course, and that is one of the big reasons for dilation.
You may be going through this now. It is something to ask about with your surgeon's office on your next contact.
I could only do 2 of 3 sessions yesterday, but I did both for 40 minutes instead of 30, so I only came up 10 minutes short for the day. Just too darn sore, but I will keep at it. Follow up appointment next Wednesday and I will ask. Thank You Honey! ♥
Quote from: Michelle_P on August 16, 2018, 01:31:51 AM
There is a period 5-8 weeks post-op where dilating becomes more difficult temporarily. This is the period when the fiberous scar tissue in the surgical site is contracting, or trying to contract. Dilation opposes this contraction, of course, and that is one of the big reasons for dilation.
You may be going through this now. It is something to ask about with your surgeon's office on your next contact.
If you're really sore from trying, just hold off for a session or two. Just use the small dilator for those and don't make the problem worse.
Another item... If you are having soreness with walking, or just starting to insert the dilator, you may have some irritated skin down there. That is often caused by moisture and skin fungal growth, such as the legendary yeast infection.
Try applying a little Vagisil or similar on a fingertip to the interior of the labial folds and possibly on the healing incisions if there is any redness there.
The doctor can also check for this very easily.
You read my mind Colleen! I was wondering about stepping back down to the orange Dilator. At least until next Wednesday when I see my Doctor. I can take the Orange one easily! 🌹
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 16, 2018, 08:57:23 AM
If you're really sore from trying, just hold off for a session or two. Just use the small dilator for those and don't make the problem worse.
There is some granulation tissue on the outside of the folds. I will try the Vagisil. Thank You! 🌹
Quote from: Michelle_P on August 16, 2018, 02:26:20 PM
Another item... If you are having soreness with walking, or just starting to insert the dilator, you may have some irritated skin down there. That is often caused by moisture and skin fungal growth, such as the legendary yeast infection.
Try applying a little Vagisil or similar on a fingertip to the interior of the labial folds and possibly on the healing incisions if there is any redness there.
The doctor can also check for this very easily.
Oh and just to clarify, when I say rotate the dilator a bit I mean maybe ten or twenty degrees or so. Please don't treat it like a corkscrew.
:laugh: Yes. Rotate just a little. Also a syringe works great for getting the lube in, but I didn't notice much difference from just gobbing the lube onto the Dilator. I am determined to win with Dilation. Don't want to lose all the hard work that my Dr. did. ♥
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 17, 2018, 08:50:26 AM
Oh and just to clarify, when I say rotate the dilator a bit I mean maybe ten or twenty degrees or so. Please don't treat it like a corkscrew.
In spite of my very best efforts. I can not get the Purple Dilator to go in past 2 dots. I used plenty of lube and maintained a gentle pressure, but still no deeper gains.
Also, I would say that my post-op pains are just about gone, but the pain I am in now from Mr. Purple is just as bad. Hot showers help a lot. 38 days of pain are starting to take a toll on me, but I have no regrets. This will all be worth it once I am fully healed.
I reason that all the pain makes up for the fact that I never had a Period. Cis women have nothing over me! LOL
Might I be rushing it? I have only been Dilating for 3 and a half weeks now and I can take all but one dot on the Orange (smallest) dilator. Does anyone recall their Timeline regarding stepping up to the Purple?
Are you taking painkillers?
By the way, the link to your YouTube channel is not working.
I do have the Hydrocodone, but I try to only take it at bed time so I can sleep. I have been afraid to take it during the day because I might hurt myself and not know it, especially while dilating.
<Moderator edit> has been the best help for me along with hot showers.
I am almost certain that it's the muscle stopping me from further depth because I feel so sore in that area. Fortunately I have a follow up with my Dr. this coming Wednesday. I hope everything is alright. Until then I guess I will just dilate with the Orange dilator.
Sorry about the Youtube link. It's fixed now and I have 30+ videos detailing my journey through Transgender Hell! I am in the process of migrating to my own server as it allows me more creative freedom. That link should be working too. Also, my surgery pictures are there for anyone interested. ♥ ♥ ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 19, 2018, 06:36:38 AM
Are you taking painkillers?
By the way, the link to your YouTube channel is not working.
Violet, maybe I missed this advice given by another, but I would suggest asking the doctor to show you how hard you can push. I used Dr. McGinn and after initial healing I was shown that I could push surprisingly hard. Also, I have had good luck with 'Surgilube' bought in bulk on internet. I would go by your doctor's direction, but I was told I didn't need to douche and if I did, to use water only. I think it was Sadie who mentioned the detachable shower head for good cleaning. I had a chance to use one this week and I am sold on it.
Moni
Oh I guess they changed color schemes for dilators. My largest was orange and smallest was purple.
Quote from: Violet on August 19, 2018, 11:19:13 AM
I do have the Hydrocodone, but I try to only take it at bed time so I can sleep. I have been afraid to take it during the day because I might hurt myself and not know it, especially while dilating. <Moderator edit> has been the best help for me along with hot showers.
I've heard a lot of women taking Tramadol before dilation. From all I've heard its not so strong that you can't feel anything, it just makes it bearable. You should have some idea how hard to push by now anyway.
I believe Tramadol is much less addictive than other strong painkillers, but some can't take it due to side effects. I think I'd be concerned about taking Hydrocodone for long. You can probably take Tramadol with some other types of painkiller (acetaminophen and an NSAID) as well for stronger effects. Maybe you can discuss it with your doctor.
I have noticed the different colors of other ladies dilators and I wish the manufacturers had kept them all the same so we could compare. My smallest one is Orange followed by Purple, Blue and then Green. They are from Soul Source. I have a follow up this Wednesday and I have compiled a long list of questions. I still can not get that Purple one to go past the first dot and it hurts me so I only try it for the last 10 minutes of sessions.
I would love a detachable shower head, but I am in an upstairs apartment with low water pressure. Hoping the Doctor will allow me to start douching. Earlier he said to hold off because the tissues are still healing.
I will report back here with all the questions I asked. Thank You for replying Honey! ♥♥
Quote from: HappyMoni on August 19, 2018, 02:40:50 PM
Violet, maybe I missed this advice given by another, but I would suggest asking the doctor to show you how hard you can push. I used Dr. McGinn and after initial healing I was shown that I could push surprisingly hard. Also, I have had good luck with 'Surgilube' bought in bulk on internet. I would go by your doctor's direction, but I was told I didn't need to douche and if I did, to use water only. I think it was Sadie who mentioned the detachable shower head for good cleaning. I had a chance to use one this week and I am sold on it.
Moni
Oh I guess they changed color schemes for dilators. My largest was orange and smallest was purple.
I am so glad that I have a follow up this Wednesday. MyChart is great, but it takes a couple days for them to respond to non-emergency questions.
I push on that Purple dilator until it hurts and then I back off. Afterwards I feel very sore especially when walking. Best I can do is the first dot on Purple. I compared dots with the smallest dilator (which I can get almost all the way in) and there is an inch or so extra depth. Perhaps the larger purple dilator is shortening my depth due to it's increased size? IDK, but I will be asking lots of questions this Wednesday!
Thank you for replying honey! ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 19, 2018, 09:35:55 PM
I've heard a lot of women taking Tramadol before dilation. From all I've heard its not so strong that you can't feel anything, it just makes it bearable. You should have some idea how hard to push by now anyway.
I believe Tramadol is much less addictive than other strong painkillers, but some can't take it due to side effects. I think I'd be concerned about taking Hydrocodone for long. You can probably take Tramadol with some other types of painkiller (acetaminophen and an NSAID) as well for stronger effects. Maybe you can discuss it with your doctor.
Another Dilating session with little gain. I can now take the first two dots of the Purple Dilator. In my set Purple is the second largest of four dilators. So now I can get just one more dot, whoopie! (sarcastic!)
I am very depressed over this as you other ladies can take the Purple with no sweat. Perhaps I will have to settle for my short depth of 4 inches. I have been dilating now for almost 4 weeks. Seems like I should be able to fully take Purple by now. Going to go cry now... :'(
Hi Violet,
I am one year post-op. I use a set of soulsource dilators, and the second largest is green. It is 1 3/8 inches in diameter. I can get it in about four inches on the rare occasions I use it. With the smaller ones (purple and blue) I can only get about 4 1/2 inches of depth, no matter how hard I push. There is just no more room, and my surgeon told me as much. The green one doesn't really hurt excessively, but I never really saw the point of gaining width when I have no depth.
I guess all I am trying to say is I understand your disappointment. Like you, this isn't what I was hoping for. It isn't what I wanted, but there it is, take it or leave it.
I've actually decided to see if there is any surgical revision that can be done. That extra inch or so is something I really want. Rationally, I can't tell you why it makes so much difference, but I am fairly fixated on my lack of depth. I have a feeling once I talk to a couple more surgeons and they tell me I'm wasting my money, I'll probably start focusing on what I do have instead of what I don't have, but right now I'm seemingly determined to find fault with aspects of my transition that by most measures has been just short of miraculous.
There are a lot of trans girls out there that have zero inches of depth, i.e. they can't have SRS for financial or other reasons. Would I want to switch places with them? No. Hell no. So maybe I need to check myself before I wreck myself. Now I am not putting my trip on you, or suggesting your pain and frustration is not valid, but I am offering myself up as an example of being our own worst enemy.
There are plenty of things that suck about being trans, and I think many of us have been asking ourselves, "What is wrong with me?" for so long we don't know when to stop. I know I am guilty of this.
Let me simply offer my blessings to you, and hope that you find some peace and satisfaction in knowing how far you have come.
With kindness,
Terri
Thank You so much for your kind reply Terri! ♥ You are absolutely correct too! Shame on me for not being grateful to have been given the SRS. I had temporarily forgotten just how lucky I was.
I say very lucky because I had a heart attack last year which delayed my SRS another full year. Somehow I was able to pay for all the Electrolysis and that was a blessing. Everyone including my daughters have helped me and supported me. Medicare covered my surgery so yes, I have been most fortunate.
Thank you for giving me a reality check darling! I love this Forum and all of you lovely ladies! ♥ Without I would not be alive today! ♥
Hi Violet,
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck at your follow up appointment on Wednesday. I hope that you get some good news and useful advice.
Hang in there girl!
With Love,
Noelle
Quote from: Maybebaby56 on August 20, 2018, 05:41:52 PM
Hi Violet,
I am one year post-op. ... I can only get about 4 1/2 inches of depth, no matter how hard I push. ...
I guess all I am trying to say is I understand your disappointment. Like you, this isn't what I was hoping for. It isn't what I wanted, but there it is, take it or leave it.
..., but I am fairly fixated on my lack of depth. I have a feeling once I talk to a couple more surgeons and they tell me I'm wasting my money, I'll probably start focusing on what I do have instead of what I don't have, but right now I'm seemingly determined to find fault with aspects of my transition that by most measures has been just short of miraculous.
.... So maybe I need to check myself before I wreck myself. ...but I am offering myself up as an example of being our own worst enemy.
Let me simply offer my blessings to you, and hope that you find some peace and satisfaction in knowing how far you have come.
With kindness,
Terri
Hi Terri,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I had to go get more coffee and pause a bit before replying. Because, while really sad, this is also one of the most positive posts I have ever read.
And personally, I have looked at your avatar, and read some of your other posts, and I was jealous. Not bad jealous. You are one of the "If Only" people for me. And, this post reminds me that there is no perfect for us. Maybe, there is only compromise and therefore survival.
So, thank you very much for your transparency and insight!
Katie
Quote from: Violet on August 20, 2018, 04:25:06 PM
Another Dilating session with little gain. I can now take the first two dots of the Purple Dilator. In my set Purple is the second largest of four dilators. So now I can get just one more dot, whoopie! (sarcastic!)
I am very depressed over this as you other ladies can take the Purple with no sweat. Perhaps I will have to settle for my short depth of 4 inches. I have been dilating now for almost 4 weeks. Seems like I should be able to fully take Purple by now. Going to go cry now... :'(
Violet,
I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing both mental and physical. Although I didn't have the same issues as you have with GCS, I have had a lot of issues, pain, and depression from surgery especially from my FFS. I am hoping you have a caring surgeon who will advise you on the right things to do for your part. Of course, they will be able to see if something is going on physically that can be taken care of with time or with a procedure. Do keep in mind you are very early post op. I would, however, remember that you must advocate for yourself both with the doctor and when you are home dilating. For example, worst case scenario, two years from now, you are unhappy with your result. I am so hoping this is not the case, but with any surgery, total satisfaction is probably a 50/50 shot at best. The thing is, do you want '2 year older Violet' to be looking back and saying, "If I only did this or that." You want to give it your best shot now. No giving up. Maximize what you can do. It's okay to be sad but let your actions be positive steps. What's the old saying? "When the going gets tough," Now you say... "Violet kicks a**!" Heck you already said you have dealt with a heart attack, so we know you can, right? Good luck tomorrow.
Moni
Quote from: KatieP on August 21, 2018, 09:36:03 AM
Hi Terri,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I had to go get more coffee and pause a bit before replying. Because, while really sad, this is also one of the most positive posts I have ever read.
And personally, I have looked at your avatar, and read some of your other posts, and I was jealous. Not bad jealous. You are one of the "If Only" people for me. And, this post reminds me that there is no perfect for us. Maybe, there is only compromise and therefore survival.
So, thank you very much for your transparency and insight!
Katie
Katie,
Didn't see your post before I posted. Take it from me, Terri is awesome!
Moni
Thank You Noelle! ♥ I'll post back here tomorrow night when I get back home from the appointment. Love, Violet ♥
Quote from: Nova_Noelle on August 20, 2018, 08:40:20 PM
Hi Violet,
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck at your follow up appointment on Wednesday. I hope that you get some good news and useful advice.
Hang in there girl!
With Love,
Noelle
Thank You Moni! ♥ I was able to get in 3 dots with the Purple this morning so I am still improving! You know, I have always felt like the pains we go through from Feminization surgeries equals the pains that Cis women get from periods, so they have nothing over us! We have to be strong and determined to go through these surgeries and I am proud of all you ladies! ♥ Love, Violet
Quote from: HappyMoni on August 21, 2018, 10:00:38 AM
Violet,
I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing both mental and physical. Although I didn't have the same issues as you have with GCS, I have had a lot of issues, pain, and depression from surgery especially from my FFS. I am hoping you have a caring surgeon who will advise you on the right things to do for your part. Of course, they will be able to see if something is going on physically that can be taken care of with time or with a procedure. Do keep in mind you are very early post op. I would, however, remember that you must advocate for yourself both with the doctor and when you are home dilating. For example, worst case scenario, two years from now, you are unhappy with your result. I am so hoping this is not the case, but with any surgery, total satisfaction is probably a 50/50 shot at best. The thing is, do you want '2 year older Violet' to be looking back and saying, "If I only did this or that." You want to give it your best shot now. No giving up. Maximize what you can do. It's okay to be sad but let your actions be positive steps. What's the old saying? "When the going gets tough," Now you say... "Violet kicks a**!" Heck you already said you have dealt with a heart attack, so we know you can, right? Good luck tomorrow.
Moni
Hi Violet,
I know you had your doctor's appointment and am hoping you are doing okay. I know some things are private, but if you feel like talking, we are here. Hugs to you!
Moni
Hi Moni! Sorry for my late reply. The Greyhound rides wore me out! Not very much is private with me. ;D I have a Youtube channel and a personal website. Trying to give back to our community by helping our younger sisters achieve their transitions. I am an open book!
Thank You for checking on me! :-*
The appointment went fine and I was so relieved! My pains are coming from the PC muscle, so I have to condition that. I can tell the difference now as today's 2 dilations have rubbed it raw and I still have another 30 minute session left to go for today. Now I can take the first 4 dots on the Purple dilator and there is further depth past that PC muscle! I might actually be able to do this Dilating now! Very excited!
My next appointment was scheduled for October 3. That will be my 3 month post-op visit! Time has gone by fast even though I have been stuck at home.
I will highly recommend that anyone interested in this surgery should inquire on the follow up appointments. The more the better in my opinion. It's very reassuring to have good after care. OHSU excels again in this!
If anyone ever has any questions please do not hesitate to contact me! I want to help! I hope we all get what we need!! ♥ Thank You Ladies!! ♥
Quote from: HappyMoni on August 25, 2018, 07:31:49 AM
Hi Violet,
I know you had your doctor's appointment and am hoping you are doing okay. I know some things are private, but if you feel like talking, we are here. Hugs to you!
Moni
Soul source sells two different types of dilators.
Straight dilators are for the CIS vagina. Curved are for the trans vagina.
Please verify you have the correct dilator's. The trans dilator needs to get past the pelvic bone. Straight dilators are much more difficult and can hurt.
Quote from: Rachel on August 26, 2018, 07:04:49 PM
Soul source sells two different types of dilators.
Straight dilators are for the CIS vagina. Curved are for the trans vagina.
Please verify you have the correct dilator's. The trans dilator needs to get past the pelvic bone. Straight dilators are much more difficult and can hurt.
I don't really understand this. All the dilators in Thailand are straight and no one ever reports problems with them. The only advantage I've heard of the soul source is that one of them is larger in diameter than the Thai dilators. The disadvantage is they are not suitable for dynamic dilation.
Here's my set. I am currently on the Violet with 3 dots in, but only after starting for a few minutes with Orange. I stay sore down there and walking is sometimes difficult, but I am trying to do my part towards good depth.
I am finding the depth to be harder to achieve than the diameter. I put as much in until I feel pain. Then I maintain light pressure. My position is on my back on the floor (carpeted!) with my legs bent at 45°. To pass the time away I often watch Hell's Kitchen on Youtube :D
Dollar Tree Puppy Pads make for a nice disposable dilation! ;D
Looking forward to my first Vibrator session ;)
(https://violetrene.com/My%20Dilators.jpg)
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 26, 2018, 09:17:50 PM
I don't really understand this. All the dilators in Thailand are straight and no one ever reports problems with them. The only advantage I've heard of the soul source is that one of them is larger in diameter than the Thai dilators. The disadvantage is they are not suitable for dynamic dilation.
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 26, 2018, 09:17:50 PM
I don't really understand this. All the dilators in Thailand are straight and no one ever reports problems with them. The only advantage I've heard of the soul source is that one of them is larger in diameter than the Thai dilators. The disadvantage is they are not suitable for dynamic dilation.
As for me, I have always needed to twist the dilators for reaching full depth. Incidentally this is what I was instructed to do by the nurses when I started dilation. I definitely would not be able to twist the dilator as I do if it were bent. This is an issue for that matter as I'd wish to get a
straight and long enough dilator larger than the biggest one (32 mm diameter) I have been provided by the clinic, but I have failed to find one so far. For the record, I am a 9 months post op Chett girl (with 7 inches depth).
You can still wiggle the curved ones back and forth to help.
Twisting combined with wiggling helps a lot to make a thin layer of lubricant around the dilator and especially near its tip. My experience is that wiggling alone is not sufficient for bringing enough lubricant at the end of my vagina.
I would be so happy with 7"! Currently I am around 4".
Quote from: Lucie on August 27, 2018, 04:55:07 AM
As for me, I have always needed to twist the dilators for reaching full depth. Incidentally this is what I was instructed to do by the nurses when I started dilation. I definitely would not be able to twist the dilator as I do if it were bent. This is an issue for that matter as I'd wish to get a straight and long enough dilator larger than the biggest one (32 mm diameter) I have been provided by the clinic, but I have failed to find one so far. For the record, I am a 9 months post op Chett girl (with 7 inches depth).
Absolutely Yes! I wiggle mine slightly both going in and coming out. Getting past the PC muscle is what is currently limiting me. At a certain depth of dilation my urethra starts slightly burning. Kind of like a urinary tract infection feeling. It's fine as long as I don't try to go too deep.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 27, 2018, 08:07:43 AM
You can still wiggle the curved ones back and forth to help.
Quote from: Violet on August 27, 2018, 01:09:52 PM
I would be so happy with 7"! Currently I am around 4".
Yes I am totally delighted with having 7", even if it makes dilation trickier.
You're post gote researching the surgery even more, and the technique of my surgeon. As its completly different to others. He also said that in the 28 years of preforming srs he developed his own technique and learnd alot and does things different to before.
Aparently there are different ways of seperating the pelvic muscle to create space. ( Im not a doctor i cant explain it,) but he said the way he does it its easyer to dilate.
I hape ur pm will loosen up a bit so ur dilation is more comfortable. Ive got my surgery in 4 weeks. I cant wait to get that out of the way x
Is it indiscreet if I ask who is your surgeon?
Its dr oliver fenton here in England
Oh, I don't know him. It would be interesting to know how his own technique differs from the ones of other main surgeons.
He explained it all to me, he is the only surgeon in the uk that comes from a plastic surgeon background, the others are urological backgrounds. He created his own technique over 28 years. For example that u dont start dilation untill week 4 etc. He uses a cathedral stich its callee, in wich case he never had prolapse in his patients . He uses penile and scrotal skin wich is nothing new but the way he seperates the pc muscle and he does a wider opening u wont need dilation for 3-4 weeks, untill the swelling has gone down more and it had time to heal without distubance. He said you wont loose depth with the way he stiched the inside of the vagina to somewhere in the inside. Cant remember where actually. Width can be trained so u start with a dilator that is as small as the smallest soul source one. of what i read most girls were at the 3.5cm with dilator in 6-7 weeks after starting to dilate. Think i explained it right
Thank you for that clarification. That surgeon's technique sounds indeed quite original. Anyway the fact he is a plastic surgeon is a good point. Most (if not all) of the major surgeons who do MtF SRS are plastic surgeons.
Oh really? Here in england he is the only one, the other 4-5 surgeons are urologists.
Quote from: isa86 on August 29, 2018, 05:40:11 AM
Oh really? Here in england he is the only one, the other 4-5 surgeons are urologists.
In France too. But IMO those are not major surgeons in the field of MtF SRS. I would not want that my SRS be done by an urologist, under no circumstances.
Here in england no one wants a plastic surgeon ( 70%) its rather have the plastic surgeon. He knows how to make it function, as he learned it from a urologist. But also has an eye for aesthetic.
He never gives false hope. He also said he does not create a labia minora ( inside lips?) As some cis woman dont develop them labia majora is more important. He does say if a patient has extra skin he wull try and create it. But he rather focus on skin fir depth and most important features.
He showed me cis woman with xxl inside lips hanging out. And a pic of cis woman with no visible inside lips and that one looked alot neater. So im personally happy with that. And i rather him focust on depth and then aesthetics
Hi, your dilators look the same as soul source for trans woman with the exception of the colors and the size is 1/8 of an 1nch smaller in diameter. So #1 is the small and #4 is the largest. You are on #2. You can order the #4 from soul source and it will be 1.5 inches in diameter.
I use prescription hydroquarterzone cream as a first layer for dilation then water based lube. This is at the advise of my doctor. The hydroquarterzone cream will help the scar tissue (if you have any) stretch. I have been using it since before my revision surgery. I also had granular tissue and was injected 3 times after my revision surgery. The last Doctor inspection I did not require any injections for granular tissue.
We need to dilate with conviction and purpose in order to achieve the optimum results. Some trans woman are lucky and have little effort in achieving their goals. I an not lucky in that department. I am on #4 dilator (1.5 inched diameter) and at 4 inches inside the canal with 1.5 inches of vagina in addition.
I was going to use Super Numb topical lidocaine if the vaginal pain returned after my revision. You might want to check with your doctor to see it that is allowed. I never did use the numbing cream but it would have helped heaps after my initial GCS when part of my graft died and a large amount of scar tissue formed and then shrank.
Congrats! I am now 7 weeks post op and my only pain is from dilating. Seems that my PC muscle is very resilient, but I figure that in the long run it will be good to have that kind of control, especially for sex! Right now though I feel like I have been fisted! :laugh: ♥
Quote from: isa86 on August 28, 2018, 02:10:12 PM
You're post gote researching the surgery even more, and the technique of my surgeon. As its completly different to others. He also said that in the 28 years of preforming srs he developed his own technique and learnd alot and does things different to before.
Aparently there are different ways of seperating the pelvic muscle to create space. ( Im not a doctor i cant explain it,) but he said the way he does it its easyer to dilate.
I hape ur pm will loosen up a bit so ur dilation is more comfortable. Ive got my surgery in 4 weeks. I cant wait to get that out of the way x
Dr. Dugi at OHSU and I am very pleased with the results!
Quote from: Lucie on August 28, 2018, 02:39:02 PM
Is it indiscreet if I ask who is your surgeon?
My Doctor is a Urologist and he gave me excellent results. He is also a Professor and Co-founder of their Transgender Health Program. I highly recommend him!
Quote from: Lucie on August 29, 2018, 06:04:30 AM
In France too. But IMO those are not major surgeons in the field of MtF SRS. I would not want that my SRS be done by an urologist, under no circumstances.
Interesting! I have some Hydrocortisone cream and will check with my Doctor. Thank you for the good advice! At 7 weeks I am now on the Purple with only one dot showing. Hurts though as I feel like I have been fisted down there! Today I am thinking of chilling the dilator before use. Maybe that will help. Also, I did have some granulation tissue, but Doctor wasn't concerned with it. It has gone away now, but I am not sure if there was any shrinkage. Once I get that PC muscle conditioned I think I will be well on my way, but it hurts badly right now. ♥
Quote from: Rachel on August 29, 2018, 05:58:21 PM
Hi, your dilators look the same as soul source for trans woman with the exception of the colors and the size is 1/8 of an 1nch smaller in diameter. So #1 is the small and #4 is the largest. You are on #2. You can order the #4 from soul source and it will be 1.5 inches in diameter.
I use prescription hydroquarterzone cream as a first layer for dilation then water based lube. This is at the advise of my doctor. The hydroquarterzone cream will help the scar tissue (if you have any) stretch. I have been using it since before my revision surgery. I also had granular tissue and was injected 3 times after my revision surgery. The last Doctor inspection I did not require any injections for granular tissue.
We need to dilate with conviction and purpose in order to achieve the optimum results. Some trans woman are lucky and have little effort in achieving their goals. I an not lucky in that department. I am on #4 dilator (1.5 inched diameter) and at 4 inches inside the canal with 1.5 inches of vagina in addition.
I was going to use Super Numb topical lidocaine if the vaginal pain returned after my revision. You might want to check with your doctor to see it that is allowed. I never did use the numbing cream but it would have helped heaps after my initial GCS when part of my graft died and a large amount of scar tissue formed and then shrank.
Steroid creams can cause skin thinning so if stay away from them without a really good reason, and doctors advice.
I did not know this! Thank You for catching me in time as I begin today's first session! ♥
Quote from: AnonyMs on August 30, 2018, 11:44:20 AM
Steroid creams can cause skin thinning so if stay away from them without a really good reason, and doctors advice.
Absolutely consult your doctor before taking hydroquarterzone cream. I have a prescription for what I use and it is with my doctors orders.
The hydroquarterzone cream causes scar tissue to stretch and thin. It is excellent at doing this but it takes time and continuous usage. I have had awesome results. I am viewed by my doctor periodically.
Ladies, does this painful feeling ever go away? I feel like I have been "fisted" down there. Best way to describe it. I believe it's my PC muscle that is hurting. Feels RAW!
Quote from: Violet on August 31, 2018, 09:06:42 PM
Ladies, does this painful feeling ever go away? I feel like I have been "fisted" down there. Best way to describe it. I believe it's my PC muscle that is hurting. Feels RAW!
Do you feel that after dilation only ?
Granulation can cause pain, and that amount of pain can interfere with dilation. Are you certain all the granulation tissue is gone/healed?
Yes, right after dilating. I feel pretty good in the mornings, but after each dilation session throughout the day it hurts a little more.
Quote from: Lucie on September 01, 2018, 12:49:16 AM
Do you feel that after dilation only ?
I do still have some granulation tissue, but after 7 weeks shouldn't it be all gone? I have also asked about this pain on MyChart, but it will be next week before I can expect a reply. I have another follow up appointment October 3.
Quote from: Kendra on September 01, 2018, 10:10:58 AM
Granulation can cause pain, and that amount of pain can interfere with dilation. Are you certain all the granulation tissue is gone/healed?
Quote from: Violet on September 01, 2018, 10:22:12 AM
Yes, right after dilating. I feel pretty good in the mornings, but after each dilation session throughout the day it hurts a little more.
It's strange that it hurts after the dilation only, and not during the session.
Quote from: Violet on September 01, 2018, 10:25:43 AM
I do still have some granulation tissue, but after 7 weeks shouldn't it be all gone? I have also asked about this pain on MyChart, but it will be next week before I can expect a reply. I have another follow up appointment October 3.
Granulation is fairly common - my understanding is it's part of the way people heal and may quickly disappear on its own or require direct treatment. I am dealing with granulation 8 months post-op and I know of at least one person here who has had this for more than a year post-op. I had two areas, one was solved permanently with silver nitrate and a cortisone cream prescription, one area is more difficult to access and has been more stubborn. I am pretty sure the only way to confirm internal granulation is an exam with a speculum.
Knowing what I do now, and also based on advice I've heard from Dena (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=42503), I recommend having a routine check 3 months after GCS (or sooner if pain is excessive) and then follow-up if significant granulation is found at that point.
Violet,
I find myself wondering about your relationship with the surgeon. Would it be possible to send an email describing what you are experiencing, that you are still in pain? Maybe you could describe your theory about the muscle being a problem. It seems a shame to wait over a whole month to try to figure it out. Just some info alone might help your peace of mind. My problem was more scar tissue than granulation so I can offer no advice on that. Hope you are mentally hanging with this. I know it is hard.
Moni
I got a reply from my Doctor on MyChart yesterday. Granulation tissue seems to be the problem, but also yesterday dilation was much easier. I can now take Mr. Purple much easier and with less pain. I have been forgetting to mention that I have all of my post-op pictures on my website. So looks like this is all just kind of like growing pains. Now I am at 8 weeks post-op. WoW! I never thought I would make it this far, but here I am, finally a Transsexual Woman! Life is very very good! F'ing Awesome!! ♥
Quote from: HappyMoni on September 01, 2018, 02:54:49 PM
Violet,
I find myself wondering about your relationship with the surgeon. Would it be possible to send an email describing what you are experiencing, that you are still in pain? Maybe you could describe your theory about the muscle being a problem. It seems a shame to wait over a whole month to try to figure it out. Just some info alone might help your peace of mind. My problem was more scar tissue than granulation so I can offer no advice on that. Hope you are mentally hanging with this. I know it is hard.
Moni
I am so sorry that you ladies still have granulation. That seems to be the most painful part of SRS. My own granulation was so white that it shined! It's slowly fading away now and dilation is much less painful. I hope we all feel much better soon! ♥
Quote from: Kendra on September 01, 2018, 01:41:39 PM
Granulation is fairly common - my understanding is it's part of the way people heal and may quickly disappear on its own or require direct treatment. I am dealing with granulation 8 months post-op and I know of at least one person here who has had this for more than a year post-op. I had two areas, one was solved permanently with silver nitrate and a cortisone cream prescription, one area is more difficult to access and has been more stubborn. I am pretty sure the only way to confirm internal granulation is an exam with a speculum.
Knowing what I do now, and also based on advice I've heard from Dena (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=42503), I recommend having a routine check 3 months after GCS (or sooner if pain is excessive) and then follow-up if significant granulation is found at that point.
Looks like it was a combination of granulation tissue and a very sore PC muscle, both of which are feeling better now. I hope to step up to the next size dilator in another week or two and I will expect more pain then. It's alright with me though. I have no regrets and I would do this all over again. In retrospect, however, I hope that in my next life I am born as a 100% cis-woman. ♥
Quote from: Lucie on September 01, 2018, 10:38:34 AM
It's strange that it hurts after the dilation only, and not during the session.
Well, I am very happy and proud to announce that I can now take that Purple Dilator all the way! Makes me sore as hell afterwards, but it goes all the way in with only one dot showing!
Now however, I have a bump on one of the incisions which I think might be from the panty liners rubbing around. I pray that it is not an ingrown hair. I went through both Laser and Electrolysis Hair Removal before surgery.
I have come to quit worrying about my new vagina because even if something goes terribly wrong I can rest assured knowing that I will always be smooth down there and I will never have a Penis again! That fact alone makes me very very happy! ♥
Woooo Hoooo!!!
Congratulations!!!
Both for the dilation success and the "smooth down there" accomplishment!!!
Kate
Violet, so awesome to hear you are progressing great.
I switched to smaller pads (Carefree Ultra-Thin) (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NJNJ6VE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1) as healing stabilized and dilating once per day instead of every few hours.
Thank You Kate! ♥
Quote from: KatieP on September 07, 2018, 09:08:14 AM
Woooo Hoooo!!!
Congratulations!!!
Both for the dilation success and the "smooth down there" accomplishment!!!
Kate
Thank You Kendra! ♥ I will try those Carefree pads. Have been using the cheapest Equate brand liners from Walmart, but I notice the edges are sharp so maybe that is why I have bump. It is right on an incision and it gets rubbed when I walk. Feels a little bit better today though so maybe it is disappearing. ♥
Quote from: Kendra on September 07, 2018, 10:03:36 AM
Violet, so awesome to hear you are progressing great.
I switched to smaller pads (Carefree Ultra-Thin) (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NJNJ6VE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1) as healing stabilized and dilating once per day instead of every few hours.