Hi everyone. So yesterday afternoon I was starting preparations for dinner and Tyler comes into the kitchen wanting one of those nasty ass protein bars that he, Tristan and my dad all eat. I keep them in the breadbox. So not finding any in there Tyler goes to the pantry and after standing there a minute he says " oh great. Thanks for forgetting to buy more protein bars". I told him there were two new boxes of them in the pantry. He said no there weren't. I told him I just bought them and to open his eyes. Then he said " I'm looking right in there, if they were in here doesn't it stand to reason I would see them"? And he used that tone of voice like someone trying to explain something complicated to someone simple minded which always makes my blood boil! So I stop what I'm doing and go over there. I grab a box of them and shove it at him and said HERE!! Then he said "don't get snarky with me. They were behind a case of cat food. How was I supposed to see them"? I told him he could try ## moving something and looking. So my mood was already foul. Tristan had come home and gone upstairs to shower and change. So then he comes into the kitchen and asks how come I didn't do any laundry today. I told him I HAD done it. Then he asked why he didn't have any t-shirts in his drawer then. I told him because I hadn't put it away yet, that it was all in the laundry room in baskets. So he goes into the laundry room and comes out wearing one of his T-shirts. That pissed me off all over again. I said "really"? He just had this dumb look on his face and said "what"? I asked him had it not occured to him to take the clothes up to our room and put them away if he could maybe fit it into his busy schedule . So then Tyler comes in there and holds out a handful of hersheys kisses and says " I think someone needs some chocolate " and he said it in the tone of voice someone would use to soothe a small child. I told him to get them the ## out of my face before I shoved them up his butt and I said he and Tristan were the most helpless ##s I had ever seen. I told them if something ever happened to me they would be running around naked and starving. Then I told them both to get away from me.
Ok, so you all can see I had good reason to get pissed off. I wasn't being "irrational" . A bit later Tristan came in there and I told him I was sorry I had yelled at him. Then Tyler opens his big mouth and says "no one takes your tantrums seriously Julia ". I said excuse me? He said " we make allowances for your crazy mood swings". I asked him what that was supposed to mean. Then he said that soon after I had started hrt my dad had told him that they shouldn't take my "hyperemotional" and "irrational" behavior personally, that I couldn't help it. So I asked him if he was saying hrt had made me hyperemotional and irrational. He said " no, you've always been like that. Hrt just intensified it". Then he said ALL women were overemotional and irrational and it was just something guys expected and had to deal with. I told him he was full of crap. He said it was true. He said when couples and male/female family members fight a lot it was almost always due to "irrational" behavior on the females part. He went on to say that there had never been a female president because women were irrational and always overreacted and would end up starting a nuclear war. It took all my control not to smack that smug look off his face. I love my brother but he has the ability to infuriate me more than any person on earth! I asked Tristan if he agreed with what Tyler said. He stuttered around for a few seconds and then said " well not all of it but you can act like a bit of a dill sometimes love". "Dill" is Aussie slang for someone crazy or simpleminded.
It's so great to realize I live with 3 chauvinistic ass hats!
I'm sorry about that, but you do have to make allowances for their handicap of having that T poison flowing through their brains... I should know... I work in an industry that is over 90% male and have to deal with it on a constant basis.
Quote from: Sarah1979 on August 17, 2018, 09:03:03 AM
I'm sorry about that, but you do have to make allowances for their handicap of having that T poison flowing through their brains... I should know... I work in an industry that is over 90% male and have to deal with it on a constant basis.
Couldn't have said it better!
Children are like this before they grow out of it. Unfortunately, only the female-minded ever do so. Male-minded are stuck there.
Tyler's deliberately winding you up, of course and Tristan is torn between being "manly" with Tyler and being conciliatory towards you.
I suggest that instead of losing your temper with them, you go into Vulcan parent mode and patronisingly and logically explain things to Tyler when he get stuff wrong. Go a bit easier on Tristan, as he may be husband material.
It sounds like you do things for them and they're taking it for granted. Most guys get into a routine kinda like in a belt conveyor... Maybe you're a piece in the routine? I don't think it's personal for them other than them being a bit high strung and demanding?
I'm staying with my brother and he does everything for himself. He did complain about me eating his food but has since accepted it lol I think he's happy I'm leaving on Monday [emoji23]
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Quote from: MaryT on August 17, 2018, 10:25:58 AM
Tyler's deliberately winding you up, of course and Tristan is torn between being "manly" with Tyler and being conciliatory towards you.
I suggest that instead of losing your temper with them, you go into Vulcan parent mode and patronisingly and logically explain things to Tyler when he get stuff wrong. Go a bit easier on Tristan, as he may be husband material.
I agree with this sentiment. Turn it back on them. We've all read enough of your posts to understand
they are the weak link in this situation. You got this.
Judi
Argh - sorry this happened... but not unusual chauvinistic male behavior either. In one or the other remark, I have to admit I could see my previous self...
Quote from: Julia1996 on August 17, 2018, 08:57:02 AM
Ok, so you all can see I had good reason to get pissed off. I wasn't being "irrational" . A bit later Tristan came in there and I told him I was sorry I had yelled at him. Then Tyler opens his big mouth and says "no one takes your tantrums seriously Julia ". I said excuse me? He said " we make allowances for your crazy mood swings".
OMG - This made me almost pee myself. Some of my coworkers recently told me that "they cut me some slack for being overly emotional/hormonal since starting transition". Yeah, I am a woman. That is what we do ;D ;D ;D ;D
Seems like we are in the same boat. Would I want to go back to my emotionless self? Absolutely not. I do like being close to my emotions.
Hugs,
Sarah
Quote from: sarah1972 on August 17, 2018, 09:55:14 PM
Argh - sorry this happened... but not unusual chauvinistic male behavior either. In one or the other remark, I have to admit I could see my previous self...
OMG - This made me almost pee myself. Some of my coworkers recently told me that "they cut me some slack for being overly emotional/hormonal since starting transition". Yeah, I am a woman. That is what we do ;D ;D ;D ;D
Seems like we are in the same boat. Would I want to go back to my emotionless self? Absolutely not. I do like being close to my emotions.
Hugs,
Sarah
@sarah1972 Dear Sarah:
I agree with your reply here on this thread......
I don't want to be the guy that never cries, holds back emotions and doesn't show a kind a gentle personality when seeing that others need to be "hugged" emotionally and/or physically.
Hugs,
Danielle