Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?
Thanks,
Anne
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Quote from: anne_indy on August 18, 2018, 04:04:59 PM
Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?
Thanks,
Anne
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@anne_indy Dear Anne:
First off,
do not alter the dosages of any meds that your doctor has prescribed to you
WITHOUT talking to your doctor.... this is very important!!!
Be careful what you wish for!!!!
Yes indeed, blocking T (Spiro) will kick-start the breast growing process... you can hide it for a while with loose fitting shirts and with a loose fitting undershirt beneath it.
Also patterned shirts and shirts with pockets at breast level will do a good job of hiding... but just for a while. After that a snug low-profile sports bra will help.
Again, be careful what you wish for.
Hugs,
Danielle
My advise is to embrace it! Im not on hrt but do have c cup boobage going on. I wear tigher t shirts when possible and in colours that show them off more. In the last 6 months while theyve been obvious not one person has asked me about it. It shows im different, it shows im not the majority, it shows i can be confidant with them when a cis person would be ashamed and hide them away. Yes its a valid option to try and hide till your further down the path but its just as valid to say this is me. Put on a bra that fits well, shoulders back, chest out as if to say to all come at me.as im not going anywhere.
Whatever you decide to do i would say dont alter meds unless u have spoken to your doc.
Stay safe x
I second the one-size-too-small sports bra. They hid the B-cup girls at work for many years in my case.
I would also say that depending on how observant people are around you, they might not notice lots of other changes. I have noted elsewhere that for 30 years at work, no one noticed me wearing mascara every day, the over-plucked eyebrows (Thanks 80s!) or the fact that the only "male" clothes I wore were the logoed company shirts they gave me. I have another co-worker in the UK who laughed at that, saying her co-workers noticed the clear nail polish on her hands. Maybe it's a US vs UK thing. Maybe not.
I would think that unless your typical activities include swiming, you can "hide" for quite a while...
I made the decision that I'd accept my body with breasts long before the first pill crossed my lips.
I couldn't wait for my breasts to grow, so I didn't face the same dilemma. They were easy to hide for the three months I needed to do that.
Just the other day, I saw a man (I presume), about my age, who had bigger boobs than I do. I told my wife that there is no justice! But it is not uncommon for males to be put on estrogen as a treatment for prostate cancer. The side effect is that those men grow boobs. Most people are used to seeing men with boobs or moobs. It is not generally a cause for comment.
Hi - I'm using a compression vest thing used to hide moobs. Its very uncomfortable in that I have to go to the toilet to let some blood back into my girls a few times a day. I have no idea what effect this will have on them but they are at least B after 7 months.
Hedging my bets I have talked to HR and the lead Manager is she really positive for me etc (see previous posts). it looks like its boobs first into the fray for me.
Seriously though I wear loose shirts and a jacket all the time, unfortunately my hair is up to 8" long now and a few people are asking questions.. Whatever, the day goes on the sun goes round and we will all be there tomorrow. everyone, looking forward to seeing gran again.
Im off- Gn
Luv n Hugz
Ktie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
thank you all for your replies.
@Danielle - yes I fully agree. I won't make any changes without approval with doctor. But she has given me some flexibility with dosage and would even like to increase the dosage.
I find that black clothes tend to mask the shape a bit, too. Just picked up a black rash guard for diving so that may help when out in the open.
@Jo - I do embrace it - love it! But I currently live in a part of the world that doesn't embrace us as a group. For the locals like us, the consequences can be life threatening. And I still need to be there for a while longer.
@ Katie - yes, I think I will pick up a couple of sports bras while here in the US, as well as a new prescription for meds. I usually get a 6 months supply. When I went to the pharmacy the other day they didn't not have a sufficiently supply to provide the 6 month prescription the doc had ordered.
@Devlyn - I was also hoping to get some emotional effect that might help buy me some time while still working in the environment I'm in. Haven't gotten any emotional effect, but certainly am getting several physical effects.
@Kathy - so maybe I can get away with it. I'm old enough that maybe I can just tell people my testosterone is dropping, and this is a consequence of the testosterone decrease. Of course, my T really is dropping, but because of the Spiro.
@Katie Jade - I wish I could go to HR and discuss my situation. While the individual might be supportive, HR corporately would not be supportive, and it would be an immediate boot.
Again, thanks to you all. This is such a fascinating process that we have to go through to bring congruence between our mind and bodies. I wish the world could understand and accept us. But outside North America and Europe, the world is not so tolerant. The wheels are in motion, I just have to figure out how to manage the throttle.
Anne
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Hi Anne,
Knowing your situation, this is a tough place to be in. How do you think growing breasts will be accepted on the home front? Get hold of me if you want to talk it over and we will be praying for you. You said that they are growing, I will assume that they are probably sensitive or down right sore as well. That may be more difficult to disguise that prominent bumps.
Good luck and love you girl,
Tia & Deb
Yes. Very tender!! I have to be careful about not expressing the pain when they are bumped. A long time friend came up from behind and gave me a bear hug around the chest. It was all I could do to hold in a loud yelp.
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Quote from: anne_indy on August 19, 2018, 10:32:12 AM
Yes. Very tender!! I have to be careful about not expressing the pain when they are bumped. A long time friend came up from behind and gave me a bear hug around the chest. It was all I could do to hold in a loud yelp.
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@anne_indy Well, hang on, there is much more to come for you in your exciting transition journey.
Please continue to keep us updated. We are eager to follow your life events.
We are your biggest fans... wishing your well.
Danielle
Thanks Danielle - I'll do what I can. I think I have mentioned before that I'm only able to write when I'm in Europe or North America. The rest of the time, I live where I need to be discreet with my communications.
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Even on low dose your breasts will grow. Also look into the Spiro. I was on it for 25 years for heart failure. It is a diuretic. It gave me A size man boobs and ruined my sex drive. Since I began HRT two years ago they have grown to C size. I can no longer just wear loose clothing so I have resorted to wearing a binder when I absolutely have to appear male, which is becoming less and less as time goes on. One caveat, Don't try to put it on a sweaty body. You will lose. I order from GC2B.co
Quote from: DawnOday on August 19, 2018, 04:29:12 PM
I order from GC2B.co
Whoa!!
Great find!!! Thanks, Dawn!!!
Kate
I understand the potential for self consciousness, but you concerns likely have more to do with the SpotLight/Transparency Effect than being any sort of giveaway if the rest of your presentation is solidly masculine. I have been on a typical transition level HRT regimen for 9 years. The only comment I get from anyone about my 34B breasts when I go without a shirt is that I have "great pecs." That said, my female alter turns alot of heads when she wears a bikini at the beach. With as common an additive as estrogen has become, and the general tendency of people to be overweight, more and more guys have Gynecomastia and manboobs. The only person who would likely notice, or for that matter care, is you.
Thanks for your reply, Virginia. Unfortunately, for me there are some real risks. So I do need to be careful.
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In the midst of 18 hours of flying I am emerging from behind a veil of internet silence into the the more open world for the holidays and time with family. So I can catch up a little on both reading and sharing here.
I've written in the past regarding my uncertain relationship with HRT. My past statements have been that I have feIt little or no emotonal changes from my HRT. Rather, my changes have been more on the physical and biochemical side -
- some weight loss from the effect of Spiro
- decreased body odor
- some breast development
- more slowly growing beard and body hair
But maybe I am experiencing some emotional changes. They are subtle which is the reason I use "maybe". One has been recently when I am with a group of people. I've felt a stronger desire to express myself in a more feminine manner. Social interactions have always been a strong dysphoric experience for me as I feel I am invisible because I must "pretend" to present my male persona and withhold my female self. What does it mean for me to pretend? Withholding a softer more expressive side of me. Withholding emotions. Care in how I touch people. And of course being fully male in dress and mannerisms in general.
My long flying and traveling episodes give me time to catch up on movies. On my flight today I was watching "Crazy Rich Asians". I found my cheeks quite damp for significant parts of it. I've always been a softy for emotionally touching movies. But I thought my response was greater than in the past, and particularly for a more romantic movie.
Finally, while sitting in the airport for a couple of hours in Europe, I was able to catch up on Danielle's "Hunted Prey" which I hadn't looked at since my last foray from behind the veil. As she described her steamy encounter with "shy Guy, Suitor #3" I found myself imagining myself in her situation and feeling the combination of physical sensations and emotional stress that she described. Maybe it was her skillful writing that drew me in, but I think in part those little blue pills are gradually rewiring, or opening previously blocked neural pathways.
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@anne_indy Dear Anne:Thank you for your latest update and coming back to your thread
to allow your followers to follow your life events... !!!!
I have been wondering where you have been for the last 4 months.
Your descriptions of your noted changes as a result of your HRT regimen are things that are quite common events for most transitioners. Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and some will experience changes more slowly. It is entirely up to YOUR unique body and your genes... the old adage here on the Forums is YMMV, meaning Your Mileage May Vary.... every body is different. One thing is for sure, Patience is Required, for usually nothing happens very quickly with HRT, but it will happen.
Regarding emotional changes, I fully agree with you, and as you described I also cry more easily, I am more empathetic and I am more expressive. I am watching more and more Romance movies that I have ever done before... and I keep a tissue box nearby to dry off my eyes and cheeks.
I am flattered and quite glad that you find my Hunted Prey thread of interest. Some years ago I would have never imagined the stressful and the happy emotional things that I am experiencing and dealing with today.... in most cases, very pleasurable for sure, with a few potholes along the way.
I am trusting and hoping that what I share on my thread will be helpful and encouraging to other transitioners as they travel down their own transition road.
I trust that you are continuing to do well on your transition road and I hope that you can keep your thread updated as you feel so led.
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Just a quick update. I have been continuing on a low dose HRT. It provides some small physical change - some breast development. I constantly oscillate between thinking that I can get through the rest of my life in male mode and therefore, I can stop HRT. Then, as soon as I stop HRT, I soon start again as I don't want to lose the slowly feminizing effects that it has. My supervising doctor has given me the green light to up the dosage, but because of my circumstances, I have kept it low. My caution is driven by concern for those that are dependent on me, and living in a part of the world where transition is not condoned. From reading many threads here on the Susan's, I am not alone in my ups and downs.I am envious of our sisters who have been able to move solidly forward moving from total fear, toward complete transition.
I will soon go quiet for a while as I return home and will be off the web at least for non-business related stuff. So that puts me in the situation of being in the "shadows" until my next visit to the west.
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Quote from: anne_indy on August 18, 2018, 04:04:59 PM
Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?
Thanks,
Anne
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A sports bra and a loose or layered shirt can help camouflage them.
What are you seeking in HRT? Are you transitioning? If so I wouldn't suggest cutting the dose or stopping.
Edit: oh my just noticed that this is an older thread. I'll read further sorry about posting without reading more first.
No worries Natalie. I haven't yet invested in a sports bra. I understand that there is some variation among them. Any recommendations on which ones do a better job of flattening the developing girls?
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Quote from: anne_indy on January 05, 2019, 05:06:55 PM
No worries Natalie. I haven't yet invested in a sports bra. I understand that there is some variation among them. Any recommendations on which ones do a better job of flattening the developing girls?
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The thing is wearing bras with bands that are too small will hurt. You probably would do best to get a cup size smaller.
Where did you live where transitioning is so dangerous? Is it possible for you to move to a safer location?
My life circumstances have brought on an interruption that has provided time for reflection and evaluation. 5 weeks ago I had an accident that put me in the hospital for 2 weeks, followed by a 16 ½ hour flight to get me back to the US, and continued rehabilitation while mobility is limited to a wheelchair as the body heals. A fallout of this was that I discontinued HRT simply because of separation from my medications. I went directly from the accident to the hospital, and then directly to the US without returning to my home to be able to pack up my supplies. As I am stealth for now, and coming out would mean immediate job termination, I could not ask the person packing for me, one of my staff members, to make sure that my HRT meds were included.
In the initial stages after the accident, perhaps 3 weeks, gender dysphoria was irrelevant. Between the pain from the injury, surgery, treatments, and therapy, there was neither the time nor the energy to worry about my gender dysphoria. That in itself brought some relief as a fundamental concern with my dysphoria has been my family, and how I deal with that. In many ways that was a relief, as that has been a persistent and nagging concern throughout my life – being MTF TG and yet working to fulfill and perform my role as a male – husband, father, son, brother, etc.
As the healing has taken its course, the gender dysphoria has returned in its full force. This is not a surprise to me, as I have experienced this sort of cycle in the past. Over the past couple of weeks I have spent many hours on here, reading your stories, hearing about your victories, trials, and sometimes defeats. I find myself missing the effects that HRT brings. As I have indicated before, my effects have been less directly emotional, and mostly physical. When I started this thread, I was concerned about my growing breast. Of course, the cessation of HRT, has brought the end of breast growth, and even a little reduction in size. As someone who has longed for congruency of mind and body, it is frustrating to see that my body is not changing toward my feminine perception of myself. And yet it relieves that stress of perhaps being prematurely "outed".
Reading discussions regarding clothing on this site, looking at catalogs, and generally being out and about have emphasized my hunger to dress as myself. Just yesterday while heading to a medical appointment, I passed a woman coming out of the office whose outfit I thought was a perfect expression of the way that I intend to present myself - a stylish, business/casual appearance that is polished, clean lines, and generally very attractive. I often travel to conferences during the spring season and have the chance for shopping either with friends, or individually. That is off the table for now with my continuing recovery and rehabilitation.
I have difficulty understanding how I can have periods when the dysphoria seems nonexistent, and other periods when I wonder how I can ever live without fulfilling myself as a woman. One of my major dysphoria modes is in social situations when I feel invisible – the person or people that I am interacting with cannot see who I am because they cannot see the woman hidden by the male veneer. Yet, at other times that is not an issue, perhaps because that is simply the way that I have had to live my entire life.
This post is not meant to be a complaint, but rather a reflection on the range of thoughts that I experience. Based on what I read from the rest of you, many of you have similar cycles. I have come to accept that this is the deck in life that I have been dealt and how I deal with it is an evolving process. For the moment things are on hold, and as I began, it offers time for reflection and evaluation.
Hi Anne,
I was wondering if and when the monsters would get to you during your healing phase. It must be tough!. Deb and I are in Texas on our way back home for a bit of a rest before heading out for more fun stuff. Is there any chance you can find an excuse to come out our way for a visit with friends and a chance to pick up some more meds? You know that we would love to have you. We will even set up a ramp for your latest choice of transportation.
Tia Anne
Quote from: Devlyn on August 18, 2018, 04:50:31 PM
I made the decision that I'd accept my body with breasts long before the first pill crossed my lips.
@Devlyn^^^^this^^^^
I am so happy for you that the booby fairy has been visiting you. Often.
If a sports bra is not enough, you could always try a binding/compression shirt that FtM sometimes use. From what I hear though, I can only guess how that would feel on developing breasts and that guess would be "not fun". Please research before using a binder.
I am very sorry for your accident, and glad to hear you are on the mend. Why didn't you mention your HRT to the Doctors here in the US? They could have totally given you new supplies here and maintained your anonymity.
I see you. I accept you.
Ricki
Thanks Ricki. It's a matter of medical records and linkage to my overseas employer in a place where "we" are not tolerated. It turns out I do have some limited supply in my travel kit, and I can call my hrt doctor here in the US and have her provide a refill request for my prescription.
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Quote from: anne_indy on February 27, 2019, 02:07:27 AM
Thanks Ricki. It's a matter of medical records and linkage to my overseas employer in a place where "we" are not tolerated. It turns out I do have some limited supply in my travel kit, and I can call my hrt doctor here in the US and have her provide a refill request for my prescription.
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That is harsh. It makes me sad that is the case. I am planning on being in Dublin in August. Anything I should be concerned about on that front?
(I am glad you had a secret stash...you're a secret agent!!!)
Ricki
Quote from: Ricki Wright on February 27, 2019, 02:59:58 AM
That is harsh. It makes me sad that is the case. I am planning on being in Dublin in August. Anything I should be concerned about on that front?
(I am glad you had a secret stash...you're a secret agent!!!)
Ricki
Places to check before going on international travel:
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender-foreign-travel-advice
http://www.equaldex.com/
And Wikipedia has lots of pages, including: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_Republic_of_Ireland
and of course:
https://www.susans.org/2015/04/07/name-and-gender-policies-in-certain-countries-and-regions/
Not having any documentation that has an M on it, or the male looking picture, I choose to completely avoid countries where we are not tolerated...
HTH,
Kate