Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Danielle Kristina on August 30, 2018, 10:32:37 PM

Title: I sorta came out to a co-worker
Post by: Danielle Kristina on August 30, 2018, 10:32:37 PM
This evening my openly lesbian co-worker and I were talking and she said that not only is she gay, but she is also questioning her gender.  I asked is she is seeing a gender therapist and I highly recommended that she make an appointment with one if she is not seeing one already.  Then I told her that I'm in gender therapy myself.  I never explicitly stated that I'm male-to-female nor explicitly said I was trans, but it was implied.  After all, I don't believe many cis-people would question their gender nor even consider transitioning.  So I'm not sure if I "came out," but she is now the only person besides my therapist that I've even spoken to about my gender identity.
Title: Re: I sorta came out to a co-worker
Post by: Northern Star Girl on August 30, 2018, 10:43:10 PM
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on August 30, 2018, 10:32:37 PM
This evening my openly lesbian co-worker and I were talking and she said that not only is she gay, but she is also questioning her gender.  I asked is she is seeing a gender therapist and I highly recommended that she make an appointment with one if she is not seeing one already.  Then I told her that I'm in gender therapy myself.  I never explicitly stated that I'm male-to-female nor explicitly said I was trans, but it was implied.  After all, I don't believe many cis-people would question their gender nor even consider transitioning.  So I'm not sure if I "came out," but she is now the only person besides my therapist that I've even spoken to about my gender identity.

@Danielle Kristina
Dear Danielle: 
I can identify with your story.  Most of us during our transition journey have moments like you described and as we continue on in our journeys we will have more and more of these kinds of things happen more frequently until we finally and officially come out openly to everyone.

I think that you handled the conversation just fine.... in fact you can consider this an opportunity to make a new like-minded friend....  consider this a definite positive event!!!!

Thank you for sharing...
HUGS and well wishes,
Danielle  (the Alaskan one)
Title: Re: I sorta came out to a co-worker
Post by: Danielle Kristina on August 31, 2018, 08:03:49 PM
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 30, 2018, 10:43:10 PM
@Danielle Kristina
Dear Danielle: 
I can identify with your story.  Most of us during our transition journey have moments like you described and as we continue on in our journeys we will have more and more of these kinds of things happen more frequently until we finally and officially come out openly to everyone.

I think that you handled the conversation just fine.... in fact you can consider this an opportunity to make a new like-minded friend....  consider this a definite positive event!!!!

Thank you for sharing...
HUGS and well wishes,
Danielle  (the Alaskan one)

Danielle,

As always thank you so much!  I was scared to even come close to telling someone about myself, but wanted to at the same time.  She was open about herself and I admired that.  It also gave me an opportunity to have a friend who understands.  Like I said, I never stated I was trans, but it was pretty obvious that I was confirming it.  It was actually a sigh of relief to let my guard down to someone I knew wasn't going to judge or condemn me.

Hugs!!!


Danielle
Title: Re: I sorta came out to a co-worker
Post by: barbara1962 on September 01, 2018, 05:52:28 PM
Danielle,
     You showed real courage in even partially coming out. Recently, I kind of came out to my daughter by saying that I'd always been a little straight, a little gay, a little bi, and a little trans. She texted me a couple of days latter, and said she wanted to talk. She said not to worry - that she'd known for a long time. So, we had a long talk and I told her that I was transitioning. I explained the HRT (E and Spiro) and what I expected it to accomplish. She was surprised but understanding. She asked about surgery and I said that bottom surgery may or may not happen (I explained the details), but said that I plan a face lift next year along with attacking my beard. It really went surprising well.
     I will next have to come out to the President of our Local Union. She wants me to come back into our political arm and I want make sure she doesn't get any surprises. Such as, "did you know that queer went out to the downtown bars dressed as a girl" She will hear it all from me, not from some transphobe.
     At any rate, coming out to people that you can trust is a good beginning. Maybe you will find someone else to confide in. I think you will feel more assured as you find acceptance. I know this coming out process is making me feel more confident. Good luck!
Title: Re: I sorta came out to a co-worker
Post by: Danielle Kristina on September 01, 2018, 06:02:21 PM
Quote from: barbara1962 on September 01, 2018, 05:52:28 PM
Danielle,
     You showed real courage in even partially coming out. Recently, I kind of came out to my daughter by saying that I'd always been a little straight, a little gay, a little bi, and a little trans. She texted me a couple of days latter, and said she wanted to talk. She said not to worry - that she'd known for a long time. So, we had a long talk and I told her that I was transitioning. I explained the HRT (E and Spiro) and what I expected it to accomplish. She was surprised but understanding. She asked about surgery and I said that bottom surgery may or may not happen (I explained the details), but said that I plan a face lift next year along with attacking my beard. It really went surprising well.
     I will next have to come out to the President of our Local Union. She wants me to come back into our political arm and I want make sure she doesn't get any surprises. Such as, "did you know that queer went out to the downtown bars dressed as a girl" She will hear it all from me, not from some transphobe.
     At any rate, coming out to people that you can trust is a good beginning. Maybe you will find someone else to confide in. I think you will feel more assured as you find acceptance. I know this coming out process is making me feel more confident. Good luck!

Thank you!  I spoke with my therapist last Monday and we discussed my wanting to come out to someone.  I admit I'm still scared about coming out, but I want to tell someone.  The secret is too big to carry alone, and perhaps someday it won't have to be a secret anymore.

Danielle