Hi all so I don't post a lot but I read a lot .
I've got some issues at work that I would like to share and ask for some advice
Sorry in advance if it seems like a rant
Over the last few weeks there has been 3 or more rumors going around work about me
1 of the Rumours is about my sexuality so with this one since separation of my Marrage I've had no feelings of attraction as I still love my ex
Another issue is where ever I go people at work constantly stare at me now
And of the main rumour is about my gender transition as I'm only 2 months in and have told only trusted people with this I have no idea how it got around
It got to the point that the factory manager heard about it(2nd to the CEO)
I already told HR about my transition about 4 months ago around 2 months prior to starting hrt to ensure my job security
I met with HR (human resource) last Monday to discus how to close some of the rumours and how to move forward as with everything
She told me don't care about what everyone thinks and wil try to resolve most of the rumours but it's soo stressful
So hr suggested it's time to tell the manager and CEO
I agreed and now they want to meet with me to discuss how to support me in the work place now I'm soo stressed out as I was hoping to go another 6 or so months before management or even others at work knowing I work nightshift but it seems all the rumours are commingfrom day shift
Sorry to ramble on
With my upcoming meeting my company doesn't know how to move forward and asked me to find particular needs for support within the company
And I'm wondering if anyone could please give me some advice on what to ask and tell the company I'm very nervous about all this
Thanks for reading regards Chloe
Sorry that you are experiencing this stress. That has to be majorly uncomfortable. Perhaps you male-failed, someone speculated, and one of your "trusted" people blabbed.
What were your workplace plans had the rumours not started? There is no reason to change them, except to move the dates up for some parts of your workplace transition.
I agree with HR that it is probably time to tell management. Once they are in the loop, they can help you manage the rumours. A stern word from management may help prevent awkward questions or further speculation. Denial at this point would probably do more harm than good.
I had a similar situation arise at work. I'm not sure what the rumors were, but I'm guessing that they were running rampant. I came out to HR about a month before starting HRT. When I came out to my manager about 6 months later he responded with "I'm not surprised. You know why?" he asked me. "Someone came to me with your new Facebook account and asked if I thought it was you." I had made a mistake of making my Facebook profile open so that my friends could send me friends requests. I outed myself through Facebook.
My HR manager and department manager and I had a meaning and made a Transition Plan. When I would come out at work, when I would start presenting female, when I would start using the women's locker room and restrooms. They were both great at handling everything for the first time. The HR manager even changed the annual training for "Respectful Workplace" (sexual harassment and discrimination used to be the gist of it) to include gender identity and sexual orientation.
My HR manager did a lot of research online to develop the outline for my Transition Plan. You could suggest something like that to your HR. (My HR manager actually won an award, from our state HR organization, for her work preparing for my transition!)
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I dont think theres any male fail yet shops seem to emphasize sir alot and chin chair is stubborn with laser wont go away 😰
Rumors started around 2 weeks ago I think
Maybe somone could have told but my superviser rekens people mite be picking up on all the small things .
Worst part is supervisors on other departments are ringing around but no one actually comes to me about anything
HR said she is going to look into rainbow community in my country for advice
I think Facebook can be dangerous it could have played a part also as I'm friends with some people from work there and about 3 weeks ago I changed it from male to androgynous
It's only fun to gossip when it's a secret and something new. Once you come out to everyone and the newness wears off you'll be fine. If you have the support of HR, ceo and management you got nothing to worry about. I got a lot of anxiety before I told everyone and after it was over it felt great like a giant weight was lifted. I waited until about 3 months into HRT to go full time and 100% out.
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I'm well past this stage of transition, but I thought I'd share a recent employment-related experience with you..
I got hired by a reasonably well-known Aussie company, one that deals in government contracts which required a security clearance, that wasn't a problem as I've had it before, I just fill in the form. Now, I was apparently the first (openly) trans person they had employed and wanted to know if there were any specific policies I felt needed to be in place for me. I responded that I didn't see a need for any as I expected to be treated the same as any other woman who worked for the company - and be protected by all the same laws. So, in the end, a comment was added to the "Diversity Policy" that stated simply that trans people are to be treated as their identified gender. Simple and mess free.
Thank you all for your messages.
When I have my meeting I'll discuss about the rights of gender expression but I'm hoping to wait at least 6 or so months before any changes at the workplace as I feel I have a long way to go. I've bee with the company for around 12 years since I was 17 turning 30 soon
So I'm not exactly in ideal age for hrt so it mite take longer for hrt to do its magic
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on September 11, 2018, 05:04:05 AM
Thank you all for your messages.
When I have my meeting I'll discuss about the rights of gender expression but I'm hoping to wait at least 6 or so months before any changes at the workplace as I feel I have a long way to go. I've bee with the company for around 12 years since I was 17 turning 30 soon
So I'm not exactly in ideal age for hrt so it mite take longer for hrt to do its magic
Hi Chloe, 11 September 2018
Almost 30? Not in ideal age for HRT? I started HRT and had surgery at 77. I'm now 78 and glad no one told me I wasn't the ideal age for HRT. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I'll take whatever the
"Magic Mushrooms" provide me with. Sure beats being male. By the way, I'm bald as a cue ball, which reminds me of a joke about a monkey. Every time I think of a monkey, the joke comes back to me and I laugh my buns off.
Best Always, Love
Chris
Chloe "rumors" can be a good thing, especially if your already a good worker and well liked. You simply confirming what many have already deduced can be one of the easiest ways to come out.
Are you third shift by choice? Perhaps it time to go mainstream 'days' and stop hiding? Could tell ya many positive stories about years in my work shop . . .
Christinej78 thank you for you message sometimes the stress and everything gets a bit much
Kiera yes I'm on 3rd shift by choice and also not by choice as money is substantially better doing 4 days 12 hours shifts with allowances and its needed to pay my morgage and I may have to substantially increase it to buy my ex out. I cant really aford to change shifts
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on September 11, 2018, 07:21:29 AM
Christinej78 thank you for you message sometimes the stress and everything gets a bit much
Kiera yes I'm on 3rd shift by choice and also not by choice as money is substantially better doing 4 days 12 hours shifts with allowances and its needed to pay my morgage and I may have to substantially increase it to buy my ex out. I cant really aford to change shifts
Hi Chloe, 11 September 2018
You are quite welcome and thank you. You seem to have it all together; you are doing the right things, working hard, sacrificing to make extra money, etc. Your management has your back (they support you) so you shouldn't worry about what anyone says. I'm sure mgmt. will make sure your co-workers will get the message that you have a right to be who and what you want to be. I gave up a long time ago of trying to be what others expected me to be. I'm my own person and have as much right as anyone has to be who and what I want to be. I actually have fun outing myself, I wear women's clothes with the exception of dresses due to current physical limitations. Pink is one of my favorite colors and I wear it a lot, especially my pink hat and matching sunglasses. I get a lot of smiles from women and I enjoy watching men look at me and then see them stare at my boobs. I enjoy the look on their faces and makes me smile. I'm proud to be trans and I'm happy to discuss my transition with anyone. Sometimes I think I may be having more fun than I'm entitled to.
Mother Nature deals all of us a hand of cards. Sometimes it has two Queens or two Kings and then sometimes it has one of each. We make the choice of rectifying natures mistake by changing one of those cards. Luckily we have an option most people don't have; we can fix our hand of cards. There really isn't any reason to let yourself become stressed out. It's self imposed and accomplishes nothing positive. Be proud of yourself and your chosen gender ID.
Take good care of yourself, best of luck on the wonderful journey you have embarked on.
Best Always, Love
Christine