Hi,
I am so glad Susan's Place exists, I've been lurking for maybe 9 months. So finally created an account and thought I had better introduce myself.
I'm a transwoman, 35 years old, live in London. My trans story so far...
I've always known I am trans but have kept it quiet until recently. I repressed this part of me much of the time through long term, on and off drug abuse, although drug fuelled parties sometimes gave me the chance to express my feminine side it was not in a good/healthy way. After being sober for the last couple of years I realised quite how feminine I really am (seems strange putting it like that). I saw clearly for the first time how I had hidden my true self in chemicals, I could see why partnerships broke down, why I couldn't hold down jobs and some other painful experiences. Sobriety brought clarity and an understanding of my own suffering, which was mostly based on not honestly expressing my gender identity.
Last winter I came out to my partner of 4 years. She was not surprised, and is very supportive. In fact she expressed that she suffers gender dysphoria too. I was not all that surprised either. I did little to transition because our living situation changed soon after. I took a live in care job for my family (I have disabled cousins), I wasn't comfortable transitioning around them. I had one last moment of repression where I shaved my head, how I regret that now, so, so much!! So much :(
This summer my mum had a stroke, she nearly died. This triggered something in me. Life is too short. I had to be true to myself. So when mum made a recovery I came out to her. She took it very well, and quite nonchalantly. And I splashed out on a nice wig!! Yay long hair!
Earlier this week, I came out to my dad too. He was not surprised, and we cried on each others shoulders. We were both sad I hadn't told him earlier.
There is a whole lot more that happened back when I was a teenager to do with coming out but I'll save that for another post.
Being out to both my parents and my partner I wrote up a deed poll to change my name this week.
Each step brings a sense of freedom, healing, sometimes emotional release, as well as fear and anxiety.
Not sure what else to say.... I guess that's plenty.
Thank you to everyone who posts on Susan's Place, it has helped me in ways I cannot describe. I hope I can contribute positively too.
:)
Hi Eloise, I'm so glad you decided to post on the Introduction forum!
It is so much better than the "reading" zone.
You seem to have found a path that works so far with family, and you are far ahead in the process with that. Family support is, I feel, one of the most important things.
On another note we're you able to confirm my earlier query?
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Thank you :)
Yes, I replied to the post just now
Hi Elfa!!! What a nice name 🌸🌸🌸
Hi Elfa :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hey Elfa!
I'm so glad you've got such supportive surroundings! Life is really short and we have live it for ourselves. Have a good jorney, girl ^_^
Welcome here! :)
Congratulations Elfa on your strength.
I am new to this site as well but I am humbled by the collective courage and warmth that this community provides. I hope you get the same support I have gotten.
Hugs,
Emma
Welcome from a Blackpool girl
Welcome Elfa. Oh I can relate. Self medicating pain is not the way to go. I used to do crack. I had gotten divorced, and I lost both parents within a year of each other. I nearly lost my job but was able to save it by stopping. I ended up working there for twenty years. Only problem was I hid my secrets about gender confusion and dysphoria. It made me turn inside myself and I could not socialize. Once I finally came out two years ago all the things that made me such a prick, for lack of a better word, seemed to disappear. The last two years have been incredible.