Since my 'coming out' Nov/Dec 2017, I haven't played much. Prior to that I jammed every Tuesday with a 3rd Sunday of the month thrown in. I think I've played 4 times since then.
We decided (Wife and I) to go last night. Having not been in a while and wanting to catch up with people we knew/know. Apparently, I'm a toothpick. I guess they forgot how much weight I lost. Some 'sick' concerns (well, yeah, to some people I am sick), others think it's great. I get info 2nd hand. No one asks me. Oh, and my hair is a star. I should comb it over my face so that my head is all hair.
Anyways, I show up, bass in hand. Another bass player already there. Well, almost bass player. He doesn't try hard to learn, he's been at the same level for over a year. Disinterest in it, I think. No problem, we switch off.
I had forgotten a bit, a bit rusty on others and my fingers didn't want to stretch out. It started to come together though. I sang, 4 songs I think, and played. Harder for a bass player than 6-string guitarist. I could tell by the reaction that I still have my singing voice, I never thought I was much good in the first place but people seem to like it.
Well, that's it. People were OK with my changes for the most part. I sang, I played, I got sick (night air from the red tide tainted water) ... it was nice to get out.
Faith.
@Faith Dear Faith:Wow, this is really a good report.
All in all, except for those that thought you are sick and that is why you lost so much weight and you look differently than they remember, it sounds like that going out as "Faith" is not an issue and that you are accepted. It is so great that your wife was with you, that is a good thing for sure.
Oh yes, your hair is definitely a star... and please do not comb it over your face... your face looks very nice as it is.
Thank you for posting this, it was a pleasure to read about your good experience.
Hugs,
Danielle
Congratulations on getting out there as your real self! It takes courage to get up on a stage at the best of times, and more so after the kind of change we go through. Sounds like you had a good time, and that's what it is all about.
Wonderful Faith! Why we do what we do is to be able to live a full life.
Not much of a life if you don't get out and have fun.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Yes indeedy. After almost a year of nothing it's time to get out there and partake of life again. Most people we know are accepting if not understanding. Some can't handle it but they keep their mouth shut around me, best that I can hope for there, and the one 'lost friend' that wants to save my soul is one that I play music with. At least he hasn't said anything that past few times. I think he got the message. I don't need saved, I just want to live my life.
That seems to be the hardest part for me. I'm comfortable any time in "Safe" places but still have trouble "Mentally" going to places where I might run into folks from my old self who could possibly recognize me. If they aren't in the know, imagine the potential encounter! I'm glad you're working past that.
Leslie
@Leslieworking past it, yes, and a struggle as I do it. I've committed myself (rather than be committed) to pushing my envelope as much as possible. Getting back out there where people know me but don't know
me is my current push.
People at work see me every day, somehow work seemed easier. I think it's because they aren't allowed to express a negative thought :) I've been pretty lucky, I don't think I've ever caught the 'face', you know, that expression of distaste that says that they noticed and disapprove.
If Lori is off work on the day next month I plan on going to the monthly jamboree. Everyone (almost) we know will be there all at the same time ..... what to wear ...... hmmm ........
That is sad that one of your former music associates is not accepting. It surprises me because I have found music people and theatre people to be among the most accepting.
I came out to the 50-piece concert band that I play in (tenor sax) by email. We were in mid-season, meeting weekly to practise. I just sent an email to the group mailing list telling them that I was resigning from the male gender and next week I'd be Kathy. I got so much support by email, and the next week, everyone was happy to see me. At our season-end concert, I was the only female player to wear a skirt. :D
Quote from: Faith on September 20, 2018, 07:07:00 AMI've been pretty lucky, I don't think I've ever caught the 'face', you know, that expression of distaste that says that they noticed and disapprove.
I caught the stink-eye once from a cashier at the grocery store. I just smiled sweetly. She didn't dare say anything, because she knew it would cost her her job if she did.
Quote from: KathyLauren on September 20, 2018, 07:53:41 AM
That is sad that one of your former music associates is not accepting. It surprises me because I have found music people and theatre people to be among the most accepting.
hard-core religious types ... while I don't fault their beliefs you do need to temper it with common sense. oh, hm, did I put that in the same sentence .. oops. Their disapproval based on religion is disingenuous considering all the things they do that's counter to the same beliefs. Ah well, enough of that. That topic belongs elsewhere and I'm already over it.
Faith your musical companion has seen that you have been saved and now you're living as you should.
"I think he got the message. I don't need saved, I just want to live my life."
I'm happy to hear your getting back to things you love. It took me some time to get back to my "hobbies" as I was uncertain about what my direction was. This is a good sign. What kind of bass do you play?
Judi
@Judi I meant he got the message not to try to save me. He stills thinks .. well, who cares.
not knowing what you mean by 'what kind' I'll cover all of it
- 4 string primarily, I do have a 5 string that I made (converted from 4)
- I have several squier models. My first new one to learn on a Squier VM Jaguar HP Special
- My new new one, a Fender p-bass elite, tobacco burst
- style of music, mostly country but I have done some oldies rock and motown.
many 6-string guitars and assorted basses lying around now. I need to clean house.