Hello everyone,
I am 59, next month will be 60.
I am a bit autistic, some would say I have Asperger's Syndrome. So my social skills are lacking or odd at times.
I would say I am a stealth cd with a desire for real breasts, yet still be able to pass as a male. I think being a male and wanting to keep my cross dressing a secret that is important.
In middle school I found a leotard with snaps in the crouch and a nudie magazine. In my room I would wear the leotard while admiring the pictures and fantasizing about being them.
It started a lifelong fascination of what a woman must feel like and what it would be like to have a working penis and a women's sex parts, and breasts.
I have had ed for so long, I don't even remember if I had a strong/stiff long lived hardon when I was a teenager. I have tried the pills and a pump. Short lived success only.
A few years ago I met a highly sexual woman; for almost a year, see allowed me to try many things, even wearing a strapon. I even tried a bit a anal stuff, or I should say she did to me. With other sensual experiences I learned that a hardon and ejaculating did not have to be the goal.
So I then ended up spending much more time alone, and went through many phases of porn and trying to please myself. And I discovered I was looking more for the beauty that many showed, amazed at how they looked.
Whether females, transexuals, or crossdressers; natural breasts enticed me more then implanted ones. And big dicks lost there appeal as well.
I felt myself identifying with and desiring to be a small breasted, small dicked, transexual or crossdresser.
Being a truck driver spending weeks away for home, living by myself in the truck. I started pretending I was one of those girls. I finally got a mailbox by the place I spend the most time parked. Then tried ordering stuff online.
Panties and bras. Much trial and error getting a proper size. Yet each time there was excitement, and that feeling of the material, the way it caressed my skin, nipples, breasts, penis, crotch, ass, hips, ect was so wonderful.
I ordered and tried fake breasts. I liked the look in the mirror. Yet just didn't feel right. I suppose if I just wanted to look good and look closer to a real girl, that would work.
That desire to have my own breasts;to play with, touch, admire, fill out a bra, tight shirt, and dress; started my research into how to get them.
Along the way I found this site. It has been and continues to be very helpful.
So where am I now. I started with herbal supplements, creams, and vacuum cups. That was about a month ago.
First my nipples are bigger, stick out more. They itch a bit with shirts rubbing on them. And area around and under the nipples being tender.
About a week ago, the breasts started staying puffed up for a short while after pumping them. This allowed me to play with them, oh so pleasurable. And a bit of definition/shape as well. Still only a inch differance between band size/measurement and breast measurements.
I am pleased with my progress.
What is even more important, I feel much more relaxed with myself, my body, and what I want to do.
I am enjoying this time of self discovery and growth in myself.
Oh, and why did I choose snbab, it stands for Small Natural Breasts and Butt.
All of you have a wonderful day.
@snbab Dear Snbab:
I love your logic about how you selected your screen/member name here on the forums. ;)
Thank you for introducing yourself and posting your thoughts here on this thread. I will assure you that other members that now they will know of your arrival will be along to specifically answer some of your concerns and questions... but right now you are due for an Official Welcome.
This is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done regarding your transition journey that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
Please allow me to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have included information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Thank you for the warm welcome.
When I was in the Air Force, I was stationed at Elmendorf AFB by Anchorage '80 to '82. I had the pleasure of visiting Galena and Fairbanks during winter time.
Hi snbab :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hi Hon,
I'm also a cd, somewhat more mature than you. Your progression through life is somewhat familiar.
I was just commenting to another cd about how to create opportunities for crossdressing when one lives with a significant other. I suggested finding ways to spend a few nights away from home, now and again. But truck driver! now there is opportunity! Although I am interested. Do you dress while driving, or is that "too much risk"? If you do dress while driving, do you do makeup? And, again if you do, do you feel like you're driving like a male or a female?
(I know. I have curiosity about other people's lives. You don't need to respond unless you want to.)
Anyway, happy to have you here at Susan's. I'm glad you like the place.
Carolina
Hi Carolina,
Thank you for the welcome.
If I am driving, or parked with curtains open, or walking around, etc. Only under garments.
Makeup is still a future item. I haven't even worn lip balm before. So I think I should start out using that to get used to having stuff on my lips. Then maybe to a clear or natural colored lip gloss. Little steps.
Have a great day.
Hi again Snbab,
Thanks for your response, I had been wondering. I do a certain amount of multi hour driving in car (or suv) and I also sometimes do the "stealth" dressing. And pantyhose (preferably with petti-pants) does feel good. Then I've found a "quiet color" lipstick that is fairly close to my natural coloration (but still looks and feels so nice!) and I'm comfortable driving with that. (Well I do remove it for food stops, but nobody notices at self-service gas pumps.) I sometimes add perfume (but not earrings) if I don't expect any "non-gas" stops on the trip.
And when I dress while driving, I do feel that I am driving more feminine -- I appreciate the beauty of the landscape more, I'm easier about the aggressively driving jerks on the road, and I listen to much softer music. I suspect that I am a safer driver when I'm dressed.
So drive safely -- and happily.
Carolina
Hi,
It's been a few days with more reading and pondering.
1st, I think this site is the best. Others I have tried, seem to be geared towards selling their products, or finding someone to hookup with. Very sad.
2nd, I find it so amazing that so many people have gender related issues. How is it this is not discussed more in schools, and other public forums? I know so many people just want to turn away and plug their ears, be closed minded, and thereby not acknowledge there are real persons that are different from them. Harrassment, discrimination, outright hate; what is so hard about listening, learning about others, tolerance. I am going to stop this paragraph now before I get to wound up.
3rd, so I am not sure which area I should post in, ie transgender mtf or cd. I think of myself as a cd, yet any taking action to grow natural breasts and hopefully fill out my hips/ass. I do not foresee going on read hrt or any surgery to change anything.
Thanks.
Welcome to Susan's Place. Feel free to post anywhere on the site that's the best fit for the topic your discussing. An example is if you have a hormone question, post in hormone replacement therapy. Should we find a post that's in the wrong location, we will move it to the correct location so you will receive more responses. The goal is not to place your posts by your label but instead to connect you with the best answers. More than one person has joined this site as a crossdresser but as they explored their feelings, they found they required more.