I know this is a silly question maybe but when I look in the mirror I recognise myself sure but I do not want to look like this and I only want to look like my made up self.
I am starting to really really dislike my face.
Is this actually dysphoria or am I experiencing something else?
Dysphoria can take many forms. What you describe certainly sounds like one of its manifestations.
I agree that this sounds like you are having a classic form of dysphoria. I experienced the same thing myself for quite a few months before realizing I believed I was transgender. Interestingly enough I no longer feel that after concluding I am transgender. Although now I have a fixation on my body hair. Go figure. Hang in there sister, you'll find the right balance at some point. Love and faith.
Gabrielle
I can relate to that it's happened to me. The closer I get to my goal the less that happens.
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I have an inner image of myself. When I see my body in a mirror I become sad because it's not me. That is my dysphoria.
I don't hate myself anymore. But I wish parts could be modified faster than now. I can get a surgery... Maybe in two years.
Tony
What you describe sounds like dysphoria to me. What I hate about my face is all the masculine features that I have. For example, I have a big nose which is very masculine and defines me as male. I wish I had a more feminine shaped nose. Eventually I am going to have facial feminization surgery to get rid of some of my masculine features on my face.
I went to a website which said its normal for a person to have both feminine and masculine features on you face. However a girl would have more feminine features on her face than masculine features and vice versa for a guy. That is how people are able to identify you as either male or female.
Also once you go through puberty, you facial bone structure change according to what horomone you have in your body. So during puberty, if you have more estrogen you will develop more female features on you face.
BTW I think you look very feminine
I also really hated my face for the longest time before I came to terms with myself as Transgender.
But in recent years, I think I've come to realize it was less of my face, and more of my facial hair... And body hair... and overall 'largeness' as a person.
It sounds to me like this might be dysphoria rearing its ugly head at you.
Like Garbrielle though, after I came to terms with myself and started to really nail down what bothered me about my face, I came to start liking it a bit more.
Either way, I think you look amazing in your picture sweetie.
Kisses!
-Janna
Yes. I felt my face looked too rough and the skin dull. To me, it looked like I was sick to be honest. I hated looking at mirrors and seeing my face and always avoided it... Just remembering how angular my face was upsets me, even now. It really was like a nightmare...
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Thanks all :)
Oh I too really do not like my body hair or face hair or body shape either haha. Its my face that drives me mad :D
Awwww thank you girls who said I look nice :) I do love that photo but it is a bit of a cheaty one with lighting and wigs and that but thank you :)
I wish I looked as good as you. Maybe your just being to critical. I will probably never pass. You look 👍 beautiful!
Write about it, that always helps me
Hi, Lisael!
Welcome to Susan's Place.
Do not be too quick to write off your passability. There have been lots of miraculous transformations on this site.
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Hello again MissKatie
Yes seeing our face in the mirror causes GD for many of us. I do not dislike my face as a whole just the less feminine parts - I am upset by my hooded eyes and lack of eyelashes and lack of redness in lips. Much better to examine our faces when made up!
The most disappointing and triggering aspect of my body is the body hair. I desire total elimination!
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Lisael on October 21, 2018, 07:18:42 PM
I wish I looked as good as you. Maybe your just being to critical. I will probably never pass. You look 👍 beautiful!
Write about it, that always helps me
Hi lisael :)
I agree with KathyLauren a lot here.
It's so very easy to think you'll never pass as you look in the mirror and see the wrong gender 100℅ and think it'll never happen, then when you start and you make the rookie mistakes you will make you think the same.
But look at others and I, we all thought the same and with time and practice it becomes easier and easier.
Just so you know, I do love that photo and yes I pass in it, but I have a million others where I really do not pass and I am tall and broad.
You can can get there too :)
There is always something of your body you don't like, and I think it will never stop, because we never can become a woman for 100%, there will be always a bit of a guy in us. And that bit is enough to dislike.
I have an androgynous body, which means i have no body hair (and even my pubic hair is so considerate to grow in a nice bikini cut style). I have no Adams Apple, I have no receding hair line or bald spots, I have a female chin and jaw line. all great, isn't it? But I hate my beard growth, and I hate my bigger chest. I have breasts, but because of that chest they are so far apart that I have the feeling that I never will have any cleavage.
As you can see, I was blessed by nature (for being a trans woman, I hated all that when I was a man, I always looked like a sissy) and should enjoy my becoming a woman, but I still find failures that cause dysphoria, and I bet I will find them for as long as I am alive.
Therefore, be not to hard on yourself and enjoy the journey!