Hello,
My name is Brianna, I live in the Milwaukee area, I was born intersex as Brian back in 1970 (Klinefelter Syndrome 46 XXY). I had a pretty normal childhood, except a few things .. I was more interested in the toys my sister's got for Christmas, and my mom and dad just figured I would get over it. Which when video games started becoming popular with the old Atari 2600 and Colecovision, that was where my main interest laid.
In 1990, when I was 20, I joined the US Army and barely made it through basic training. (I could do sit-ups and run forever, but push up's.. I had a lack of upper body strength). So throughout my 3 years of military service, I always had to do the remedial PT (Physical Training). During Operation Desert Shield/Storm, I injured my hip badly, so for the rest of my military career I had a profile against running. In December 1993, the US Army decided to medically discharge me under honorable conditions. Because I was a disabled veteran, I ended up getting a lot of treatment from the local VA and actually got a job as a medical clerk at the VA hospital. That is kind of when I became under the microscope of some doctors.. They thought it strange that at 27/28 years of age, I looked like I was about 13/14 years old. That is when after all the test's were said and done, I learned I had Klinefelter Syndrome (my body didn't produce testosterone and instead produced a small amount of estrogen). Now, this was in 1997/1998 time frame, the VA doctors didn't offer to send my for psychotherapy. They decided that it would be in my best interest to start testosterone injections, they actually said that if I did not do it, my life would be shortened due to medical reasons. SOO.. I ended up taking them, every 3 weeks, for less then a year. I remember my sister went to the VA to learn how to administer the IM injection, and she would mark the calendar.. She would bug me about my next inection, and I would come up with an excuse, "We can do it later..", etc.. etc.. I did not like testosterone injections, hated the way it made me feel, I just didn't feel like me any more.
Now, during the time while I was getting the injections, I somehow managed to become highly addicted to IV use of heroin. I was highly suicidal, always pushing my luck. Always thinking that the next shot will kill me, and if it didn't, I would up my usage the next time. I know that once I stopped the testosterone injection's, I went into treatment for opiates and was than put on Methadone daily maintenance. It was during this time I did a lot of soul searching and thinking, and trying to figure out how I got to where I was, and WHY? :) I always had vivid dreams of me living as a female, every part a female. People would label me odd, because I would mix and match clothing, male and female clothing. After finally sitting down and talking to a therapist did I realize that I was transgender. I cleaned up, started on electrolysis hair removal for the little facial hair I had, that is when my past caught up with me in 2003. All the crime I did in order to get high and stay high in my past, hit me with a 5 year prison sentence. Which was a good wake up call, a little excessive, but was a great learning experience. Prison was like a damn drama soap opera television show, and I learned how to not give a hell what other people think or say about me.
Okay, so when I got out of prison in 2008, I tried to get back on the road to where I was, but seemed like I was blocked at every path, bad luck kept following me and I ended up getting Kidney Stones and guess what, the VA just prescribes me percocet's and antibiotics and tells me to drink a lot of fluids.. Bad thing, because the drug bug popped up again, but at least this time I didn't fall down too hard before I stopped it. I NOW have in my VA medical records that I am a opiate addict and they are not to give me any kind of opiates unless it's life threatening. So now I have been drug free for 7 years, and trying to get back on the road to transition. All my old friends are either still using drugs (which I will avoid) or moved away. The old transgender support group I use to go to, doesn't exist anymore. Every day that goes by, it feels like I just get lonelier and depressed.. Wishing I could go back in time and not take the testosterone injections AMA (against medical advice). So I figured I would attempt to make new friends and/or contacts and go from there. That is why I joined this forum. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!
Quote from: ratee4 on October 29, 2018, 07:24:46 AM
Hello,
My name is Brianna, I live in the Milwaukee area, I was born intersex as Brian back in 1970 (Klinefelter Syndrome 46 XXY). I had a pretty normal childhood, except a few things .. I was more interested in the toys my sister's got for Christmas, and my mom and dad just figured I would get over it. Which when video games started becoming popular with the old Atari 2600 and Colecovision, that was where my main interest laid.
In 1990, when I was 20, I joined the US Army and barely made it through basic training. (I could do sit-ups and run forever, but push up's.. I had a lack of upper body strength). So throughout my 3 years of military service, I always had to do the remedial PT (Physical Training). During Operation Desert Shield/Storm, I injured my hip badly, so for the rest of my military career I had a profile against running. In December 1993, the US Army decided to medically discharge me under honorable conditions. Because I was a disabled veteran, I ended up getting a lot of treatment from the local VA and actually got a job as a medical clerk at the VA hospital. That is kind of when I became under the microscope of some doctors.. They thought it strange that at 27/28 years of age, I looked like I was about 13/14 years old. That is when after all the test's were said and done, I learned I had Klinefelter Syndrome (my body didn't produce testosterone and instead produced a small amount of estrogen). Now, this was in 1997/1998 time frame, the VA doctors didn't offer to send my for psychotherapy. They decided that it would be in my best interest to start testosterone injections, they actually said that if I did not do it, my life would be shortened due to medical reasons. SOO.. I ended up taking them, every 3 weeks, for less then a year. I remember my sister went to the VA to learn how to administer the IM injection, and she would mark the calendar.. She would bug me about my next inection, and I would come up with an excuse, "We can do it later..", etc.. etc.. I did not like testosterone injections, hated the way it made me feel, I just didn't feel like me any more.
Now, during the time while I was getting the injections, I somehow managed to become highly addicted to IV use of heroin. I was highly suicidal, always pushing my luck. Always thinking that the next shot will kill me, and if it didn't, I would up my usage the next time. I know that once I stopped the testosterone injection's, I went into treatment for opiates and was than put on Methadone daily maintenance. It was during this time I did a lot of soul searching and thinking, and trying to figure out how I got to where I was, and WHY? :) I always had vivid dreams of me living as a female, every part a female. People would label me odd, because I would mix and match clothing, male and female clothing. After finally sitting down and talking to a therapist did I realize that I was transgender. I cleaned up, started on electrolysis hair removal for the little facial hair I had, that is when my past caught up with me in 2003. All the crime I did in order to get high and stay high in my past, hit me with a 5 year prison sentence. Which was a good wake up call, a little excessive, but was a great learning experience. Prison was like a damn drama soap opera television show, and I learned how to not give a hell what other people think or say about me.
Okay, so when I got out of prison in 2008, I tried to get back on the road to where I was, but seemed like I was blocked at every path, bad luck kept following me and I ended up getting Kidney Stones and guess what, the VA just prescribes me percocet's and antibiotics and tells me to drink a lot of fluids.. Bad thing, because the drug bug popped up again, but at least this time I didn't fall down too hard before I stopped it. I NOW have in my VA medical records that I am a opiate addict and they are not to give me any kind of opiates unless it's life threatening. So now I have been drug free for 7 years, and trying to get back on the road to transition. All my old friends are either still using drugs (which I will avoid) or moved away. The old transgender support group I use to go to, doesn't exist anymore. Every day that goes by, it feels like I just get lonelier and depressed.. Wishing I could go back in time and not take the testosterone injections AMA (against medical advice). So I figured I would attempt to make new friends and/or contacts and go from there. That is why I joined this forum. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!
Hello Brianna. Thank you for joining us, and welcome! Most of us have stories to tell of our past, but yours is among the most intense I've read. I'm so glad that things are starting to come together. Susan's is the best place I've found for support, and you're likely to make a lot of friends here.
As an official greeter, it's my privilege to introduce you to our Term of Service and guidelines here at Susan's. They are what keep our site friendly and safe for all of us.
Again, welcome, and see you around the forums!
Stephanie
Things that you should read
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Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) |
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) |
Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
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@ratee4 Dear Brianna:I want to thank you for recently joining Susan's Place and coming here to share your very first interesting and detailed posting on this thread... and telling us about yourself in your post..
Also, please know that you are always welcome here. Many of our members will now be aware of your
arrival to the Forums and will be able to share with you, and you with them regarding your questions and comments.
I see that you have already been
Officially Welcomed to Susan's Place by our lovely member
@Steph2.0 ...
Please also allow me to also give your a warm
Welcome to Susan's Place.I am thinking that you may have a lot more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. Be aware that there are many members here that can identify with your concerns and questions.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will
make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
In her Welcome Message
Stephanie included
Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place. Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the
LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Hi Brianna :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hello Briana and fellow Klinefelter Syndrome sister.
I am a lot older than you, and when I grew up, nobody was even dreaming of Klinefelter, leave alone what to do about it. In this way, I was lucky, I did not get the testosterone stuff pumped into my system. I just was all the time that girlish looking guy.
I am now trying to let the girl out from inside me and become a woman.
I wish you lots of luck on your path, and if you feel you want to chat once in a while with an older Klinefelter, just let me know!
Quote from: Dietlind on October 29, 2018, 09:56:16 PM
Hello Briana and fellow Klinefelter Syndrome sister.
I am a lot older than you, and when I grew up, nobody was even dreaming of Klinefelter, leave alone what to do about it. In this way, I was lucky, I did not get the testosterone stuff pumped into my system. I just was all the time that girlish looking guy.
I am now trying to let the girl out from inside me and become a woman.
I wish you lots of luck on your path, and if you feel you want to chat once in a while with an older Klinefelter, just let me know!
That's great! The little bit of testosterone that I did take, did set me back some.. in hindsight it is one of the reasons why I went on a full out suicidal heroin binge. Well, the only good thing about Klinefelter, is that I will never have to have androgen blockers during HRT. I still have a lot of feminine attributes, feminine voice, it's the damn facial hair I hate the most! I am lucky it is just sparse and light, and grows in slowly. In a way I wish I could sue the VA for what they did, but, it would be a useless suit, because the federal government always win's.. I never met anyone else who had Klinefelter's, also, I have/had friends that were half my age and a lot older than me. I am the type of person who adores knowledge and wisdom.
ratee4,
Welcome to Susan's! You will find plenty of support, knowledge and wisdom from the many diverse members here!
Lacy