Girl, if you read this, I don't want you to feel bad. I don't blame you.
I just need to get everything out. I met a fellow t girl on here, and we started talking. Things were going great, amazing in fact. We were hitting it off, and as silly as it is, falling in love. I still love her, and would still take her back to this day.
Anyways, as I said we started talking on here, then exchanged social medias/phone numbers, and went from there. Like I said, things were going so well. It was a huge crush in the beginning, she's an amazing girl. Unfortunately, I was too scared to ask her out. We live on opposite sides of the country, that was probably the biggest reason I never asked her out, (technically I did but that was after the fact) and we didn't know each other long, that was another reason.
So, we both had mutual feelings for a while, and I was trying to push my feelings away, honestly. I didn't want another one of my relationships to come crashing down like they always do. I was scared of us breaking up if I asked her out, and now I really see her point, that there really wasn't anything to lose, no reason to not take the risk.
Anyways, it got to the point where she was getting short with me, wouldn't talk about her feelings much to me. Then, she essentially ignored me for two days, claiming that she was just busy. I should've seen through that and too the risk there and then, before that honestly. Now I honestly wonder if she found someone else. Then, directly after that she never messaged me back. At first, I thought something had happened to her, that her parents hurt her or something, or that she hurt herself. This honestly wasn't fun for me. Then, after a couple of weeks, my sister convinced me that she's ignoring me, a reality I really didn't want to come to. I'm not going to lie, I broke down crying for a good while.
So, I try messaging her a lot, I mean, a lot. Of course, I was never trying to harass her or anything. She never, even to this day, told me to stop messaging her, and I just wanted and answer for what happened. I still do. Finally, she answers and tells me that she's okay, a couple of days later she tells me that she doesn't hate me. So, at this point I honestly don't know what to think. I've messaged her about all this to get my feelings out to her for some sort of closure, she read it, and that didn't help.
At this point, it's probably 2 months after it happened. It just hurts because she was such a wonderful part of my support structure, and I'm in love with her. This almost has me in tears lol. Like I said, I don't fully blame her for what happened. I just don't know how to move on, and I don't know if I want to. I really don't want to. I don't want to fully lose her, even though I'm sure I already have.
@rlacy2018:
I have no words for you that will make this all better... and frankly yearning for someone that has basically moved on is not a healthy thing to do.... don't beat yourself up over all of this, what is done, is done. As much as breaking up is hard to do, it is harder to try to capture something that is now out of reach.... and is even more heartbreaking. Since she has moved on, it is now the time to get over her and to move on yourself...
Just writing and venting about this is a great way to process all of this in your mind.... great therapy for sure.
Looking for more updates from you when you feel comfortable sharing with us.
Best wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 12, 2018, 08:03:25 PM
@rlacy2018:
I have no words for you that will make this all better... and frankly yearning for someone that has basically moved on is not a healthy thing to do.... don't beat yourself up over all of this, what is done, is done. As much as breaking up is hard to do, it is harder to try to capture something that is now out of reach.... and is even more heartbreaking. Since she has moved on, it is now the time to get over her and to move on yourself...
Just writing and venting about this is a great way to process all of this in your mind.... great therapy for sure.
Looking for more updates from you when you feel comfortable sharing with us.
Best wishes,
Danielle
Thanks Danielle. I know it isn't smart, I probably do need to just move on, it's just difficult without closure. Thank you though. I do really appreciate it.
Rejection isn't easy. Sorry you had to go through that. I wonder if maybe you pushed her away messaging her over and over again. I had a guy do that once to me and he was like ready to get married after one date. I thought he was nice but too serious and clingy so I stopped talking to him. It just wasn't meant to be and people ghost because they're too afraid of letting someone down when they're not interested.
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Quote from: Nikkimn on November 13, 2018, 02:13:08 AM
Rejection isn't easy. Sorry you had to go through that. I wonder if maybe you pushed her away messaging her over and over again. I had a guy do that once to me and he was like ready to get married after one date. I thought he was nice but too serious and clingy so I stopped talking to him. It just wasn't meant to be and people ghost because they're too afraid of letting someone down when they're not interested.
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No no, I didn't fully explain everything I guess lol. She was begging me to ask her out. It was after a while of me not doing it that she became more short with me and what not. I only messaged her over and over to try and get an answer after she ghosted me.
Im sorry hon.....I'm back now.....i left all social media and texting platforms. I truly regret not staying on at least one contact thing . I Love you. Im sorry im didnt stay to text. Please dont be mad. :(