Recently at work alot of my colleagues have been a little nasty towards me.
I suffer from anxiety and it makes it hard for me to function sometimes in stressful situations.
So today a machine broke down at work and I had fixed it and started speaking about our upcoming xmas function and i told them that I was not able to participate in our teams opening for the xmas celebration...as I was feeling too anxious about doing it which was fine
then another lady came up to me and said I'm a man I should stop taking hormones or find another job and that there were plenty of men that would want to do my job, and then she started to get religious and say God made me a man and to deal with it.
I dont known how to take this or what to do its filled me with a lot of rage and sadness
Report her to HR for general harassment.
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<edit by moderator>
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on November 13, 2018, 10:28:06 AM
Recently at work alot of my colleagues have been alittle nasty towards me.
I suffer from anxiety and it makes it hard for me to function sometimes In stressful situations
So today a machine broke down at work and I had fixed it and started speaking about our upcomming xmas function and i told them that I was not able to participate in our teams opening for the xmas celebration...as I was feeling to anxious about doing it which was fine
then another lady came upto me and said I'm a man I should atop taking hormoans or find another job and that there were plenty of men that would want to do my job .ans then she started to get religious and say God may me a man and to deal with it
I dont known how to take this or what to do its filled me with alot of rage and sadness
@Chloe_freebird Dear Chloe:It is so disheartening and disturbing for you to be going through this at you work environment. I feel so very badly for you.
I am not certain where you work and how big the company is that you work for.... but in this day and age in most places.... how they deal with transgenders is under great scrutiny with a lot of the newer laws and regulations. If there is a HR department, that should be your very next visit, if not, then a serious conversation with your manager, boss, or owner of the company should provide some results, if not, then you can turn to government agencies.
I trust that you can can this resolved.... please keep us all informed and upated...
Wishing you well,
Danielle
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on November 13, 2018, 10:28:06 AM
Recently at work alot of my colleagues have been alittle nasty towards me.
I suffer from anxiety and it makes it hard for me to function sometimes In stressful situations
So today a machine broke down at work and I had fixed it and started speaking about our upcomming xmas function and i told them that I was not able to participate in our teams opening for the xmas celebration...as I was feeling to anxious about doing it which was fine
then another lady came upto me and said I'm a man I should atop taking hormoans or find another job and that there were plenty of men that would want to do my job .ans then she started to get religious and say God may me a man and to deal with it
I dont known how to take this or what to do its filled me with alot of rage and sadness
That's an issue for HR and possibly the states EEOC depending on where you live and what work policies are.
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Chloe,
When people start bible thumping like that they are using their so called religion to spread hate.
God doesn't hate you for being you. She isn't without her own faults and casting stones.
I second reporting her to HR.
Edit:
You might want to start documenting things if this becomes a pattern.
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on November 13, 2018, 10:28:06 AM
then another lady came upto me and said I'm a man I should atop taking hormoans or find another job and that there were plenty of men that would want to do my job .ans then she started to get religious and say God may me a man and to deal with it
You can say, "Since God is all powerful, if she wanted to stop me, she could at any time."
Then roll your eyes and walk away.
If you don't want to say anything, just do the "roll your eyes and walk away part."
Quote from: KarynMcD on November 13, 2018, 01:34:53 PM
You can say, "Since God is all powerful, if she wanted to stop me, she could at any time."
Then roll your eyes and walk away.
If you don't want to say anything, just do the "roll your eyes and walk away part."
@KarynMcD Usually that is how I handled mis-gendering and snarly comments back when I was having difficulties passing early in my transition journey....
...Frankly in situations like that there is nothing you can say to folks that will change their opinion and have them accept you... so confidently walking away without any reply was always was best for me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts,
Danielle
Quote a well known bible passage. For instance.
" How can you remove the splinter from your brothers eye when first you must remove the log from your own eye! "
Or,
" Let he who has never sinned cast the first stone "
Of course there are many to chose from but it may put her back in her box.
Wishing you the Armour of God
Kirsten x
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Harassing you for being trans is unacceptable in many work places. Preaching religion is unacceptable in most work places. Reporting her to HR would be the right thing to do.
I concur with the other comments.
If you wanted to enter a religious debate with her, you could always point out a couple of things... but I would just report her and ignore her religious bigotry.
If you want to make life harder then start with...
In Genesis, the first man was created both male and female. Eve was created from a man in the following chapter. (you will find that all in the very first two chapters). But ultimately, if you believe in God and the grand design, then God must've made you the way you are too... is she suggesting God made a mistake? After all, God made a mistake with Lucifer, God made a mistake creating Eve and the original sin... So I guess if God existed, then God can put the wrong conscience in the wrong body too. Perhaps she is a mistake too, after all she seems to forget that Jesus preached love and forgiveness not hate.
But I would just ignore the religious arguments and just report her.
Hey everyone thank you for everything I work in medium size moulding factory in my country I dont know If I want to take it to HR at the moment I hate confrontation.
HR is supportive of me and so is the production manager but I'm yet to have my meeting as the company wants to change work polices and wants me to be there for my input to help support me in the company
I was thinking of telling my supervisor about the issue so that he is aware of what's going on this isn't the first time that she has said something to me but if it carrys on I will take it further .
It's just hurtful as when I was young I was always told if I had nothing nice to say not to say anything at all
Though most people at work are good there are a few others that seem to be recently getting a bit more hostile
Chloe, if this woman has does this kind of stuff before, she will continue. And as long as she doesn't have consequences, others will pick up on that and possibly act the same. This may be happening already.
Report this woman to your supervisor, for the good of all working there. Hate can be infectious.
Hugs, Jessica
Chloe this is off subjuct, but just wanted to say that you have a really pretty face!
Hey all so I spoke to my my superviser and she spoke the the person in question and I think it went terrorable after their meeting she went upto me and said she knows she's right and I shouldn't be in my current position at work and told me to go management because she will be favored and tell them everything about me .
The only thing I've done wrong is used my phone a few times at work to message a support friend as times have been tough for me recently but I'm planning on informing management of my phone usage
Unfortunately I work night shift 7pm to 7am so will have to go in on Friday to speak about it
Hang in there Chloe, you are in the right. Her hate will be her undoing.
Hugs, Jess
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on November 13, 2018, 08:41:10 PM
Hey everyone thank you for everything I work in medium size moulding factory in my country I dont know If I want to take it to HR at the moment I hate confrontation.
HR is supportive of me and so is the production manager but I'm yet to have my meeting as the company wants to change work polices and wants me to be there for my input to help support me in the company
I was thinking of telling my supervisor about the issue so that he is aware of what's going on this isn't the first time that she has said something to me but if it carrys on I will take it further .
It's just hurtful as when I was young I was always told if I had nothing nice to say not to say anything at all
Though most people at work are good there are a few others that seem to be recently getting a bit more hostile
I would start recording these incidents with you phone using voice memos.
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on November 13, 2018, 10:28:06 AM
Then another lady came up to me and said I'm a man I should stop taking hormones or find another job and that there were plenty of men that would want to do my job, and then she started to get religious and say God made me a man and to deal with it.
I dont known how to take this or what to do its filled me with a lot of rage and sadness
Quote from: KarynMcD on November 13, 2018, 01:34:53 PM
You can say, "Since God is all powerful, if she wanted to stop me, she could at any time."
Then roll your eyes and walk away.
If you don't want to say anything, just do the "roll your eyes and walk away part."
Hello Chloe
I agree with Karyn on this.
Either make no comment and walk away or if you prefer to reply to her briefly, my advice would be:
God is well aware that you are trans and there is no reason whatsoever to believe God disapproves. God loves us all. Jesus cured the lame and the blind and does not desire us to suffer and would approve of us taking action to alleviate GD and if necessary to transition. God knows your true gender which is of course female. This lady is sadly mistaken.
Hoping you find resolution.
Hugs
Pamela
Maybe a comment suggesting that their angst is the result of you looking better than them?
Quote from: gracefulhat on November 13, 2018, 10:45:23 PM
Chloe this is off subjuct, but just wanted to say that you have a really pretty face!
Thank you soo much this is actully an old photo of me from when I was around 20 10 years ago
Hey all so I had a nap after work and sleeped through all my alarms so I do not have another opitninry to speak to my manager until Wednesday as I'm going to do my official name change on Monday and have electrolysis I work 12 hours l night shifts so it's too hard to get up early to go in
Chloe..that was just plain wrong what you went through..maybe that so called Christian can read what a Minister wrote to me recently and I posted on the Christianity forum
View from a trans-friendly Minister from London
November 02, 2018, 08:47:18 am
Quote
I asked about the usual verses rolled out to claim transgender people are "broken" and need prayed for, but must turn away from their chosen path...
Her reply..
Hi Sarah, The Deuteronomy verses come out of the Jewish scriptures, that form part of the Torah/Law. Some Christians argue that as we are in Christ, we are not subject to the law. Jesus himself appeared to flout certain aspects of the law, particularly laws about healing on the Sabbath etc. Jesus ia also said to have fulfilled the law and the need for the law in becoming the Paschal offering, once and for all sin. Certainly today, many women wear what would traditionally be deemed men's clothing and vice versa in different cultures around the world. The other flip side to that is all of the codes about not eating shellfish, not wearing clothes of mixed fibres etc all of many Christians do, which are all part of the same codes. These verses are often cherry picked without looking at the whole picture. Isaiah talks about eunuchs being brought into the kin-dom of God, which covers the crushed testicles or no penis issue. You alao have to remember that when the scriptures were written, there was no concept of LGBT identity. Your identity came through your perceived gender, based on outside physical appearance only, who your father was and what tribe you belonged to. We now know that one person can have combinations of male and female dna in one body, so what does that mean for usually held positions of what constitutes gender? What woukd ut mean for Biblical writers to have had that knowledge? Jesus talks about eunuchs positively and Philip one of the disciples baptised a eunuch. We believe Christians are welcomed into the family/kin-dom of God via baptism.
In Romans, Paul talks a lot about being pure as Christians, many were getting involved in temple prostitution relating to fertility rites involving other Gods in the various Roman temples and Paul was talking against this. Pauls letter are peoblematic also. It is well known that Romans in particular, has been tampered with and had bits added to it. We also know that out of the 13 letters attributed to him, Paul only actually wrote about half of them but Romans and 1 Corinthians are among those he is believed to have written. The overarching theme is one of not engaging in anything that would separate you from Christ. Our bodies are temples but Jesus himself said if your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. This ia why I said these issues are complex and the Bible often does not have clear cut answers to these things but there are positives to be found. I hope this helps at least a little and I am happy to answer anything further,
Wow... This lady coworker has some seriously huge guts... Just wow...
A few things
1) you're not respected
2) things may potentially just get worse for you if your supervisor couldn't squash anything.. Chances are the supervisor isn't on your side either
3) try to find legal help or a lawyer if you plan staying there. Why rely or trust in others? This is a horrible situation to be in and just watch your back
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You may want to keep your phone voice recorder always on while @ work, you can turn the screen off too and it should still work. I sometimes do that while out shopping.
Quote from: Allison S on November 16, 2018, 09:29:25 PM
Wow... This lady coworker has some seriously huge guts... Just wow...
A few things
1) you're not respected
2) things may potentially just get worse for you if your supervisor couldn't squash anything.. Chances are the supervisor isn't on your side either
3) try to find legal help or a lawyer if you plan staying there. Why rely or trust in others? This is a horrible situation to be in and just watch your back
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Yeah i think I'm respected alot less than before it's quite sad I've been here since I was 17 that's 12 years and would struggle to find another job in my industry with my skills...
I dont know what they were talking about but the superviser said that she tryed talking to her
We have a union at work and company just release it's new workplace policy which says zero tolerance on gender discrimination so hoping thatcwillceork in favor
Hi Chloe, what a PITA dealing with people like her. You've received some good advice regarding HR etc. but one thing to caution on; using your phone to record. Most companies have something in their P&P that prohibits the use of recording devices to record others/conversations etc. in the workplace. Sometimes it's no more than using your personal device in the work area during your working hours. I've seen/been involved in a few well intended "I'm gonna record the awful comments this bad person is making" take a bad left turn for the one doing the recording.
Chloe,
Wish you didn't have to go through that. It's no fair having a wicked witch harassing you at work. I'm sure you wish she'd pull that broomstick out of her tuchus and fly away on it.
I don't know if this is of any use, but I'd weigh in from the perspective of your manager. Once you submit your claims of harassment to me, I typically have a very scripted pathway to follow. Usually the first thing I have to do is notify HR. Then HR has to log it. Then they have to tell me to do such-and-such. Then I have to do it. Then, etc., then etc., in a very slow-moving and complicated dance that has to respect not only your privacy but the privacy of the harasser. It may very well have been a serious violation of policy for you to have been told that your harasser got a talking-to; I bet your manager really stuck her neck out for you. Remember, management's job is to protect the interests of the company, not yours or the harasser's. Your manager can get fired for violating labor law or HR policy.
On a more personal note, I can't stand it when anyone messes with my team, and I won't stand for it. On the surface of things, my job may be to manage things to the benefit of my company, but my real job is to create an environment where my team can be creative, productive, and professionally fulfilled. If my team ain't happy, Momma isn't happy, and when Momma isn't happy, she takes Corrective Action. She just does it creatively and quietly, and sometimes the wheels of politics grind slow.
Keep the faith. No company really wants to keep anyone around who lowers productivity by making their employees unhappy. It just may take a while.
Quote from: Sarah77 on November 16, 2018, 10:50:26 AM
Chloe..that was just plain wrong what you went through..maybe that so called Christian can read what a Minister wrote to me recently and I posted on the Christianity forum
View from a trans-friendly Minister from London
November 02, 2018, 08:47:18 am
Quote
I asked about the usual verses rolled out to claim transgender people are "broken" and need prayed for, but must turn away from their chosen path...
Her reply..
Hi Sarah, The Deuteronomy verses come out of the Jewish scriptures, that form part of the Torah/Law. Some Christians argue that as we are in Christ, we are not subject to the law. Jesus himself appeared to flout certain aspects of the law, particularly laws about healing on the Sabbath etc. Jesus ia also said to have fulfilled the law and the need for the law in becoming the Paschal offering, once and for all sin. Certainly today, many women wear what would traditionally be deemed men's clothing and vice versa in different cultures around the world. The other flip side to that is all of the codes about not eating shellfish, not wearing clothes of mixed fibres etc all of many Christians do, which are all part of the same codes. These verses are often cherry picked without looking at the whole picture. Isaiah talks about eunuchs being brought into the kin-dom of God, which covers the crushed testicles or no penis issue. You alao have to remember that when the scriptures were written, there was no concept of LGBT identity. Your identity came through your perceived gender, based on outside physical appearance only, who your father was and what tribe you belonged to. We now know that one person can have combinations of male and female dna in one body, so what does that mean for usually held positions of what constitutes gender? What woukd ut mean for Biblical writers to have had that knowledge? Jesus talks about eunuchs positively and Philip one of the disciples baptised a eunuch. We believe Christians are welcomed into the family/kin-dom of God via baptism.
In Romans, Paul talks a lot about being pure as Christians, many were getting involved in temple prostitution relating to fertility rites involving other Gods in the various Roman temples and Paul was talking against this. Pauls letter are peoblematic also. It is well known that Romans in particular, has been tampered with and had bits added to it. We also know that out of the 13 letters attributed to him, Paul only actually wrote about half of them but Romans and 1 Corinthians are among those he is believed to have written. The overarching theme is one of not engaging in anything that would separate you from Christ. Our bodies are temples but Jesus himself said if your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. This ia why I said these issues are complex and the Bible often does not have clear cut answers to these things but there are positives to be found. I hope this helps at least a little and I am happy to answer anything further,
Further, the ancient Jews had 6 gender categories, not 2.
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I could never know as I don't know the woman in question, but she probably got a good talking to and was really, really pissed off, so that is why I would take a wild guess at why she came at you again after she met with management.
In my opinion, don't try to come back at her with bible versus in defense, unless you are a scholar of the bible. You will never "win" against her, she will always be right (in her eyes) so I'd say don't' waste your time. Don't turn to hate as a way to defend, it is not good for the soul.
Although you said you have reported, even if you don't report other situations, you really have to at least write down exactly what was said by whom and when. Save it up. Even better if you can get it on your cell phone.
This must be very difficult for you. I'm just starting, and this is the kind of situation I fear. I hope everything is and goes okay for you! If you trust management and HR and they say they support you, then be sure to keep them as your allies. I'm so sorry you have to deal with hateful people. Try to stay positive in any way that you can.
Best,
Anita
Quote from: Anita43 on November 20, 2018, 09:22:24 PM
Although you said you have reported, even if you don't report other situations, you really have to at least write down exactly what was said by whom and when. Save it up. Even better if you can get it on your cell phone....If you trust management and HR and they say they support you, then be sure to keep them as your allies. I'm so sorry you have to deal with hateful people. Try to stay positive in any way that you can.
These are great points. Write everything down. Document everything. People, places, times.
In addition, I would encourage you to take notes in your meetings with HR and your managers and to read your notes back to them at the end of the meetings to make sure you've understood what has been discussed, what next steps will be, who is responsible for doing what, and when it has to be done. Make sure you know exactly what you have to do, follow it to the letter, and get written acknowledgement when you've done it.
In all dealings with HR, I always follow up with an email to all attendees after every meeting repeating my notes verbatim, and I print two copies, one for my files onsite and one for my files at home. I don't want to give anyone the chance to claim they "didn't hear that/didn't understand that/don't remember that."
Remember, HR isn't actually on your side. It's on the side of the company. In an ideal world, HR should want to be fair, to comply with all local laws as well as its own HR policies, and to resolve situations like this amicably and peacefully. In the real world, it's good to get everything in writing.