I was talking with a friend this evening and she asked what gender euphoria felt like. She has really delved into all things trans since I came out to her years ago, but for the first time I don't know what she is talking about. I have heard of it but I never really understood, the closest thing I can relate to was the night that I found out that transition was possible, I cried for hours. I was so happy and even though I had no idea how it would turn out I felt like a fish that found out that water was real. I have read here how much some women love when their breasts start growing, the only thing I thought was, It is about time! I didn't feel anything about transition but relief. Not it but close, maybe release. I have felt a sense of normalcy that I never experienced before. I have never felt euphoric though. Everything before was crap, everything after was normal.
It felt like me, nothing more and nothing less. Okay, maybe no one remembers VHS, transition for me was just adjusting the tracking. Yes it was amazing seeing the picture but I knew it was there, I couldn't find it but I always knew the picture was there.
What is gender euphoria? Is it real? Am I some kind of weirdo?
Yeah, I guess I always thought of dysphoria as discomfort with the gender one has at birth. I have thought about it recently and have focused on the idea that I was always mourning what I didn't have, all the parts of being a women plus the sum total of not being a woman. If I let myself, I could get dysphoric about my childhood and youth, other things I didn't experience correctly. Once I slowly changed things to create the new me (female), I don't feel like Superwoman. I feel like me, only 'right', whole. I was over the moon happy and yes relieved to get GCS. I loved getting boobs. But now, it is just normal, just plain old me. Euphoria is a temporary thing. It can't be maintained over a long period of time. I wish I could have said that for dysphoria. I think I do have gender euphoria at times especially when I think of the overall comparison of where I was and where I am now. If I'm dreaming, let me stay asleep.
Hey M, you are no weirdo. You are talking VHS. It's not like you were talking 'Beta.' lol
When I got my name change I felt euphoric. It was like runner's high or a really good meditation. But it lasted for weeks; I was in a wonderful mood and the world seemed like a wonderful place [emoji16]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Euphoria? The day you accept that this is your path and it feels like the weight of the world is lifted. The day you officially get your new license and passport and it says female so that the world has to accept you as who you are. The day you see yourself dressed in a mirror and see ... her. The day you see her without clothes on. All these moments stand out as euphoric. The day strangers look at you and don't see trans anymore just assume you are female. The day men pay attention not because you are trans and some kinda of freak to play with, but actually see a woman.
How does that feel? It feels like coming home. Coming home to this place that has been waiting... in sight but just out of reach and seemingly impossible to get to, bit it isn't! Its just a matter of finding the path and commiting to it, accepting there will be a price to pay but its far less than what you gain.
what is gender euphoria? Its discovering that there is joy in life.
Hello IamM
It is as stated by Krobinson.
It is every time you overcome an obstacle:
1. When you have fully digested and accepted you are trans and are able to take some action
2. When you tell others that you trust - obviously better if they also accept but if they don't accept, at least they know. Either way the burden on you is lifted.
3. When you tell your doctor
4. When you discuss and explore with a productive therapist
5. When you start HRT
6. When you see emotional and physical benefits of HRT
and the list goes on till you finally see yourself both mentally and physically as a woman.
Hugs
Pamela
Just to chip in with my 2 penneth...
I have experienced what I called gender euphoria a few times now and it's the most wonderful feeling but can be overwhelming.
I felt that my body slid into alignment with my mind and although I know it had not changed, it felt completely female. I could close my eyes and feel that everything was in the right place and my whole body was tingling. I had breasts and a vagina. Curves and all the other good stuff.
When one happened at work recently I was totally overwhelmed and had to message a very good friend from on here and she managed to calm me down (thank you - you know who you are! ;) )
The feeling is like a non-sexual whole body orgasm that lasts a lot longer. It's really wonderful.
Thank you all for your replies. I wish I would have felt gender euphoria now, it sounds kinda nice. I think that I did feel it that first night, like putting in the last piece of the puzzle only magnified by about a million times. If anything my dysphoria got much worse after that until I went full time. No point in worrying about it after being full time for over three years but it is nice to know. I am odd in some ways, no real gender euphoria, dressing as a girl never got me excited, I have never bothered with makeup but transition was as important to me as anyone probably so it doesn't matter in the end. Even though it makes me feel a bit of an outsider at how different I am, I don't think it makes me less of a transsexual and after all this time I still enjoy reading about everybody's experiences no matter how different. Thanks for sharing girls! :)
Moni,
You always make me laugh! :D I hope that your anxiety has lessened some now that the election is over. Big hug for you babes!
Posted a similar thread a few weeks back..
I said it was like falling in love, with yourself and the world.
Awe, I'm glad I make you laugh. If I could only learn to do it when I am intending to be funny, that would be awesome. ::) Well, I will incorporate your wish that my anxiety be lessened after the election if you try something for me. I wish for you to not care so much if you are a little different. EACH of us is a little different. Look at my picture, I'm sitting on a washer/drier (my sultry look, like it? lol) Anyway, my point is, celebrate being a little different, it makes the world a better place when we aren't all the same. Okay, I am decompressing, starting ... now! I will try to pry that sign out of my clenched fist. Now your turn, Sweetie!