Hello I was really hoping someone would help me with how to identify. When i was 14 (im 16 now) i came out to my mom as being transgender (i was born a male) and she said that it was probably just a phase because most transgender people realize at a very young age yet i had only begun feeling that way when 13. Ever since then i still feel thar i should be a girl and im just really confuses on what I should do. I apologize for such a bad post but this is the first time i have done something like this and the feeling is honestly driving me crazy. Thank you for reading this and I really need some help. Sorry if this is in the wrong section.
Hi,
You need to see a gender therapist to help you sort out your feelings and explore your next steps.
Not every trans person knows from childhood that they're trans. It depends on the person. The best thing to do if you're questioning is to talk to a gender therapist.
But even if you can't see a therapist you can 'test' your gender by experimentation. If you can open up to someone close to you about this I would try asking them to use your preferred pronouns and see how that feels.
Back before I was sure that transitioning was right for me what helped me decide was how wonderful being correctly gendered felt for me.
Good luck! ;D
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(Reply to Rachel)I would but im scared to tell my parents that i think i may be transgender, they are both very open about stuff like this, but i dont want them to dismiss it again like they did last time. By the way i read your post and i have to commend you for finally accepting the truth, you are a very brave woman and i respect that.
(Reply to Angela H.) Thank you for the advice i will definetely do that then and see how I feel about it, have a wonderful day and thank you again for the help.
Quote from: Rachel on November 24, 2018, 06:29:39 PM
Hi,
You need to see a gender therapist to help you sort out your feelings and explore your next steps.
^ This.
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Hi Gwynivere,
As everyone says, see a gender therapist. But I can tell you that not every transgender person knows from a young age.
I say this because I didn't know until my early 20's, and wasn't certain until quite a bit later.
Sure, I can look back to younger years and say "Oh, that makes sense, now!"
But I simply did not have a framework to understand myself when I was younger. That, or maybe I was really good at repressing things. Actually I know I was good at repressing things, but that's another story.
My main point is don't let anyone tell you who you are or aren't just because you don't fit a typical pattern.
Everyone is different, (and I mean everyone, not just the trans community) and while there may be common themes and experiences. Those are just the "averages", your experience doesn't have to fit in a box of what's usual.
Sorry for the mini-rant, but I feel quite passionate about this.
Btw, welcome to the forums and good luck on your journey.
~Dee.
Quote from: Gwynivere0819 on November 24, 2018, 06:20:16 PM
Hello I was really hoping someone would help me with how to identify. When i was 14 (im 16 now) i came out to my mom as being transgender (i was born a male) and she said that it was probably just a phase because most transgender people realize at a very young age yet i had only begun feeling that way when 13. Ever since then i still feel thar i should be a girl and im just really confuses on what I should do. I apologize for such a bad post but this is the first time i have done something like this and the feeling is honestly driving me crazy. Thank you for reading this and I really need some help. Sorry if this is in the wrong section.
I became aware at age 57, I had no clue before that. Well, I should say, the clues were there but I was clueless?
you need someone to talk it through with. A gender therapist would be best. If you think your parents will be reasonably accepting they should help you explore the truth. It is up to you to stand firm ... that doesn't mean argue, no need for bad feelings.
You have questions that need answered, not brushed aside.
Very few people experience anything like this this as a "phase".
And it is uncommon for trans people to realize their identity as young children. The majority, among MTF folks, realize it in middle age, followed by in their teen years. Only a small number figure it out as kids.
I second the recommendation to find a gender therapist. It could be hard, if your parents are opposed, but they might be happy for you to get treatment.
I agree, whole heartedly that you must see a "Gender therapist". Yes it's a little scary and you don't really know what to talk about. At least I didn't because I was nervous. Besides it was a lifelong secret that I did not share with anyone. Even my sister had no clue. So based on that standpoint having as much education as you can get about the subject and then let them explain it, so you and Mom understand. I have a couple, goto publications that gave me a good idea why, how and when. The first is from Anne Vitale titled "The Gender Variant" http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm and https://www.functionalneurology.com/materiale_cic/389_XXIV_1/3373_sexual/index.html
Happy reading. Write down the questions you want to ask the doctor. If Mom is going with you have her write some too.