For the first time, trans women were allowed to attend a support group meting near here for trans men. They were 100% passable, gentlemen, and very funny! There was no "woe is me" like I have heard in so many trans women groups. It was very positive and uplifting. The guys rocked! I like trans men one heck of a lot more than non-trans men!
*smile* I second that.
Someone was asking me yesterday about 'who are you REALLY attracted to?' I said, why my partner. "If she were gone I might be open to a man, but in all honesty, I think he would probably have to be a trans-man. They are just so manly and yet, also easier to be with, for me, than genetic males."
I'm not sure why that is. I have a couple of notions. But, yes, Nickie, Trans Men Rock!!
In a way, this irritates me. Implying that there is any difference other than my chromosomes between myself and a biological male is not only pointless but hurts my feelings quite a bit. I am no different than any other man - except the state of my body. I'm not easier to date or get along with. In fact, I'm a more difficult person. I'm just as bull-headed and gruff and threatening as a bio-male. I'm just shorter with less upper body strength.
I find that a lot of women, cisgendered and otherwise, have this idea about transmen - that they are gentler, more sensitive, more feminine than bio-men. This idea that a woman can still have a man who is just a bit more like a woman seems to be very popular but it's not actually based on anything, in my experience. I don't relate to women at all. I don't understand how they feel or why they feel that way. I'm not more considerate, less willing to hurt someone, more giving. I'm rude, crude, angry and think I'm in charge, just like all the male stereotypes that float around and the sad thing is that I have to play those qualities up a great deal just for people to get the picture. I'm a manly man in a woman's body.
Sorry, but I am offended.
As to the original topic, however, I'm uplifted to hear that there are productive, positive groups out there for transmen.
QuoteTrans Men Rock
Very, very, very true...that's why I fell in love with one! ;) ;D
Quote from: Nichole W. on January 06, 2008, 08:41:19 AM
They are just so manly and yet, also easier to be with, for me, than genetic males."
This is something that needs to be discussed in detail here at Susan's. They are just so comfortable in their own skin and never seem to argue about who is more "manly" than the other. They get along amazingly well not only on public forums but also in real life. I have to admit that I'm learning a lot from my boyfriend. I come across as very close-minded sometimes (I know I can be), but I am changing or at least trying to..
But yes, I double ditto that.... trans men rock! :)
tink :icon_chick:
It could be just that trans-men have suffered and that makes them nicer and more open people.
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 06, 2008, 03:23:58 PM
It could be just that trans-men have suffered and that makes them nicer and more open people.
Huh ??? Are you implying that trans women haven't suffered. To be honest Pica, I find your answer rather inappropriate, for it can open a dangerous pandora box...so I'd better leave it at that.
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tink on January 06, 2008, 03:29:41 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 06, 2008, 03:23:58 PM
It could be just that trans-men have suffered and that makes them nicer and more open people.
Huh ??? Are you implying that trans women haven't suffered. To be honest Pica, I find your answer rather inappropriate, for it can open a dangerous pandora box...so I'd better leave it at that.
tink :icon_chick:
Pica means, as compared to bio males. And I get the sentiment that's being expressed here and I appreciate it. I think the fact that we weren't born with white straight able-bodied male privilege does make us better people and I'm not at all offended by the suggestion that I have positive differences from bio males.
So thank you, ladies. It's nice to be appreciated :)
Dennis
Hmmmm...okay!
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Dennis on January 06, 2008, 03:34:38 PM
And I get the sentiment that's being expressed here and I appreciate it. I think the fact that we weren't born with white straight able-bodied male privilege does make us better people and I'm not at all offended by the suggestion that I have positive differences from bio males.
So thank you, ladies. It's nice to be appreciated :)
Dennis
See what I meant? :icon_flower: for you, Dennis. ;)
And actually I am certain that all trans men are NOT very different at all than are genetic guys. Last year I worked with one who was every bit as ham-handed, rude, patronizing, lost-in-himself and publicly embarrassing as practically any genetic guys I have ever been around.
So, feel free guys to be as disgusting as you want to be. I have simply found the trans guys I have known to be everything a genetic guy is and THEN SOME, and I really like the 'then some.'
Nichole
dennis got what i meant
I like the bastards too. :)
The trans guys I've met were simply great guys. They know how to treat a lady, erm, whatever... right ;D
y2g
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 06, 2008, 03:23:58 PM
It could be just that trans-men have suffered and that makes them nicer and more open people.
I am not in the slightest bit offended by this post. Yes I can understand what Milo is saying we aren't much different except the body we where born with etc.
I agree with Pica 100%. I think we relate to Trans Women better than bio women because we do know the struggle that we have to go through to be our selves.
I have never met any other trans male or females myself however I hope to in the near future.
Its much appreciated Ladies
;D
I have had the privilege to meet two trans-men at a Trans meeting in Toronto just prior to my being full time. I met them at the meeting and after the meeting we use to go to this Tavern for some munchies and some shop talk and anything else we fancied to talk about. It was during this time that I discovered who the two gentlemen were that sat at our table. I found them to be rather pleasant *gentlemen* to talk with and that is the last time I ever laid eyes on another Transman.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on January 07, 2008, 04:03:58 AM
that is the last time I ever laid eyes on another Transman.
Cindy
...that you are aware of ;)
Dennis
well, I get what Milo said - that we are just normal men. And yet we were raised as girls and so we understand, we know things that natal men don't. We know so much more than natal men. It is something to be embraced as Dennis feels. We know what it is to be treated as women. And it's a beautiful thing, a lovely thing, a gift we were given, something to be cherished and embraced, really.
I know several Tmen, including one apprentice who I often choose for my crew. Like any other group of people, some are nice, a few are horrible. The apprentice - Crash - is doing well, and fits in pretty good. The other Tman who started only did a few months and dropped out of the program to go back to school, and was not all that happy being 'one of the boys,' if we the boys he had to be one of. So it goes.
Meeting a few people is not a good way to draw conclusions about a group.
But Crash rocks, or at least is learning to.
I really don't know just how accurately one can read another's character and personality in rooms like this over the Internet, but the only other trasmen I met were here in the group, and another I just remember I will mention at the end of this post. I have thought them to be pleasant to share with, no difference then any other member of the group. Well like Dennis said I may have ran across some and didn't know it. The gentleman that interviewed Wing Walker and I for volunteer work running a drop in for transpeople I would not have known he wasn't a natal man if if he hadn't told us.
Cindy
The Trans Men I (knowingly) have met have been in a group, so my experience is a bit limited. But I have to say that all of them are charming, funny, happy guys who have some incredible women who support what they are going through. Yes, they suffer just as much as us girls, but seem to have a great attitude.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Hi,
This topic began as a simple appreciation of a group of people who probably don't get the attention they deserve. However, the topic is becoming a debate on WHY transmen are (or are not) cool.
I split the topic in order to preserve some of the sweetness of the original intention as I took it to be.
The debate part of the topic is now called WHY do Trans Men Rock?
it is here = https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,24544.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,24544.0.html)
Please use this thread to show your appreciation of our men and use the alternate topic for the debate on WHY they rock.
Thank you,
Rebis
Thanx ladies. :) :) :) thanx princes ;)
Hi Kristi
Even better personality then me? Well for one thing I get out of bed one leg at a time and I put my pants on the same way and I am just me, and I do my best all day to make everyone else feel good, I love to chatter. I am me, I am woman, I was more androgynous then anything else in my younger years especially after getting out of an abusive relationship for some years.
Cindy
IME transmen can also be incredible jerks, people are people.
Quote from: Mawd on January 10, 2008, 01:40:26 AM
IME transmen can also be incredible jerks, people are people.
I think that's another thread. :laugh:
Quote from: cindybc on January 10, 2008, 01:33:02 AM
Hi Kristi
Even better personality then me?
Well I never said that! LOL
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I know Kristie hon I was just tugin on your sock some.
About the guys in this message board, well I love them all. I think they are really neat guys. Some of them have brought me a smile or two when I needed it.
Cindy
I can't wait to get to a place that has a group I can meet. Just hope I fit in since I can be very charming, but thats normally the front I put on. Would just be cool to have some friends near me I can talk to or relate to in a true way since 99.9% of the people I know and/or talk to have no clue who I am on level outside of aquainteance (sorry, I know I butchered that word). Been a loner so long though, I really wonder how easily I would make friends.
I am not offended by the original posts and the intent. I think it's great that there is some support. The way I look at it, this is the only forum I pretty much drop in every few days. If this forum was not here I would not have any communication with the trans community for another year because of where I am currently living. I don't post much, but knowing there is an appreciation and support for FtMs makes me more willing to share or ask questions.
Not only do I support the men, I have to admit I copped a lot of my courage from them.
Trans men do rock!! I know quite a few, actually. In fact, my new roommate (we move in together on the 1st) is a trans guy. He's awesome. He's just starting out, but he's pretty cool.
--natalie
Welcome to Susan's Devlin,
There are a few really wonderful Trans men in this group. I do pray that you will find what you need here.
I transitioned in a small town where I am not certain if they even knew how to spell the word transsexual let alone what it meant. I lived the last seven years there as Cindy and never had anyone give me a rash about anything. I have worked as a Social-worker for the past twenty years then I was retired.
I only had two good female friends, the rest were all acquaintances, the whole town treated me well though I also enjoyed good humor, still do. But as you say I was also rather lonely with no one else like myself to share with. I met Wing Walker in DC another trans woman, she comes here occasionally. We became good friends and then decided to move in together and we lived in the small town I had been living in for the past ten years in Ontario. In August we decided to move here in Vancouver BC where I have found a group of Trans folks who meet once a week.
Well you have a wonderful day
Cindy
Re: Trans Men Rock ?
I don't like the terminology of calling someone a 'transman' or 'Transwomen', it sounds like an alien, a comic super hero or someone who is neither one gender or another. If someone has transitioned successfully they are either a man or a woman, not a freak and certainly not a transman or transwoman.
Quote from: Berliegh on January 17, 2008, 07:45:57 AM
Re: Trans Men Rock ?
I don't like the terminology of calling someone a 'transman' or 'Transwomen', it sounds like an alien, a comic super hero or someone who is neither one gender or another. If someone has transitioned successfully they are either a man or a woman, not a freak and certainly not a transman or transwoman.
we understand.
How would you prefer we differentiate T people from non T people for the purpose of referring to us specifically in a topic?
Hi Rebis hon as I have said before I love all of you on the Androgyne group, you all were there when I need someones shoulder to cry on and I don't forget stuff like that.
Cindy
Quote from: Rebis on January 17, 2008, 07:54:31 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on January 17, 2008, 07:45:57 AM
Re: Trans Men Rock ?
I don't like the terminology of calling someone a 'transman' or 'Transwomen', it sounds like an alien, a comic super hero or someone who is neither one gender or another. If someone has transitioned successfully they are either a man or a woman, not a freak and certainly not a transman or transwoman.
we understand.
How would you prefer we differentiate T people from non T people for the purpose of referring to us specifically in a topic?
I like the idea of being a super hero -- hummm, I wonder what powers I have?
--natalie >:D
Wonder Granny flies again!
"Hee, hee, hee."
Love you guys. :D
I think we can safely use those labels to prevent confusion here on the boards, but from the time we leave the keyboard to go out there, yes there are only two distinctions man and woman, she, he, her, him, miss, Mrs, Mr, etc, etc. I have never had anyone in the past seven years I have been Cindy where someone has erred with my gender.
Cindy
Because other transmen turn me on! (as do natal men)