So, sometimes it's so much to deal with, you know? At the moment, I'm so lonely due to the fact that I can't hook up with man at all because they don't have enough self confidence to be with me that I feel desperate. I need physical touch you now. I crave falling in love, living a romance, kissing passionately, all those things that should come naturally to ya. But they don't...no man ever wants to be with me because I don't have a vagina. Yet. All that's left is worrying about making money for the surgery. That's it.
And then I feel so desperate with the intense sex cravings I get that....the only way I can stop feeling like ->-bleeped-<- is drinking, I mean, I know it's wrong but what else can I do? I tried everything to satisfy my unbelievable libido but nothing works. Man here are just...too insecure I guess. And it's not just sex you know...it's that "how are ya honey?" from a man who is absolutely in love with you. That is what I need.
Life isn't fair sometimes. Why did this evil organ grew in me? What's the whole point with it? It's useless, it never worked, it serves no purpose and it causes nothing but disaster. Useless and gets in the of absolutely everything. Sucks.
Quote from: Dany on December 07, 2018, 08:54:12 PM
So, sometimes it's so much to deal with, you know? At the moment, I'm so lonely due to the fact that I can't hook up with man at all because they don't have enough self confidence to be with me that I feel desperate. I need physical touch you now. I crave falling in love, living a romance, kissing passionately, all those things that should come naturally to ya. But they don't...no man ever wants to be with me because I don't have a vagina. Yet. All that's left is worrying about making money for the surgery. That's it.
And then I feel so desperate with the intense sex cravings I get that....the only way I can stop feeling like ->-bleeped-<- is drinking, I mean, I know it's wrong but what else can I do? I tried everything to satisfy my unbelievable libido but nothing works. Man here are just...too insecure I guess. And it's not just sex you know...it's that "how are ya honey?" from a man who is absolutely in love with you. That is what I need.
Life isn't fair sometimes. Why did this evil organ grew in me? What's the whole point with it? It's useless, it never worked, it serves no purpose and it causes nothing but disaster. Useless and gets in the of absolutely everything. Sucks.
Hi Dany
Its horrible when you feel crappy like that....worse when you feel so bad that booze is the only thing that relieves that feeling. I used alcohol as the "cure all" in my life for many years until it just about killed me(mission accomplished...almost)...ended up causing me all sorts of issues.
Its easy for people to preach sobriety especially if they are coming from a position, where trauma similar to what you are describing is not part of their life and they don't have to deal with it. The unfortunate truth is that for most of us...it(alcohol) just makes things worse.
I hope you can find a way to get through this part of your life and get the surgery you so clearly need. I hope you are able to get to your surgery date sooner rather than later.
take care
Liz
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Yeah, you can give drinking a shot. Might work, and lots of people even manage to suppress themselves right back into the closet with it.
Lord knows, I did it for years. Was even able to ignore the truth completely.
But I'm telling you, it took a *ton* of work. Lots of drinking every day, which also ultimately runs into real money. I ended up fat and with addiction issues.
I dunno. Alcohol was pretty effective at taking all the demons I was too afraid to face and stuffing them down in the hole, so I can't complain. But I lost out on a lot of the joy in life I should have felt because of it, so that's a real regret.
Everything's a balance. It's no sin to drink, even if you become an alcoholic. I do wish I'd explored healthier options, though.
Is drinking the only option?
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Hi Dany,
my 2 bobs worth is if you can keep alcohol for the good times it is more of a friend than a treacherous trap. I was always just a social drinker until I started drinking heavily in the evenings to squash the dreaded Gender Dysphoria. It worked in the short term but drinking started getting on top of me.
Now on HRT I dont feel any pressing need to drink and I keep it for the good times.
I do feel for you meeting the right guy though. I guess there is the risk of finding a good man may not want you to have eventual GRS.
What would be your ultimate scenario - I know you need the physical and emotional intimacy. Would it be OK if it all fell into place pre-op ? Or is your ultimate dream to be in a romance anatomically female?
Kindest regards, Kirsten.
I feel the same way Dany. It's a very hard situation to have to face... And alone too. Because even with support, no one is with us every single step of the way. And they don't have to be. Feminizing has been nice, until (sadly) reality set in. So I know what you're going through... And I think you're right to blame their insecurities. It probably holds them back in many other ways too
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I know that feel. Though I locked my feelings long ago and got used to loneliness, sometimes even me just feel like frozen and wish somebody to warm me up. Have some other problems too. So, all it blurred with my mind while I'm drunk, so cheers, I'll drink for that.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on December 07, 2018, 10:28:24 PM
Yeah, you can give drinking a shot. Might work, and lots of people even manage to suppress themselves right back into the closet with it.
Lord knows, I did it for years. Was even able to ignore the truth completely.
But I'm telling you, it took a *ton* of work. Lots of drinking every day, which also ultimately runs into real money. I ended up fat and with addiction issues.
I dunno. Alcohol was pretty effective at taking all the demons I was too afraid to face and stuffing them down in the hole, so I can't complain. But I lost out on a lot of the joy in life I should have felt because of it, so that's a real regret.
Everything's a balance. It's no sin to drink, even if you become an alcoholic. I do wish I'd explored healthier options, though.
Is drinking the only option?
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Self-medicating is a maladaptive response whether it's alcohol, food, drugs, or some other diversion from dealing with ones problems and incorrect internal beliefs. Is it a sin? No. It's an opportunity for growth though.
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I have a family, and I can say that I am not so much lonely. But I like to drink while having dinner together with my kids. My two sons tend to hesitate to say their problems or agonies to me, but become outspoken when I am drinking wine. I drink wine and other alcohol beverages everyday, but medical checkups have not yet shown any problem in my liver, but I have chronic gastritis which is getting better and can be cured within a month if I stop drinking. I guess my regular exercise has helped maintain my healthy liver so far. Nowadays my sons are not at my home, and my little daughter chats and plays joke sitting next to me while I drink wine and my wife makes snacks. I usually drink a 2/3 of a bottle of red wine everyday.
barbie~~
Quote from: Dany on December 07, 2018, 08:54:12 PM
the only way I can stop feeling like ->-bleeped-<- is drinking
Believe it or not I've heard this a thousand times in various AA meetings. Just because your transgender doesn't change anything. Drinking only makes it worse.
This is what AA is for. I'd say give it a shot.
Hi Dany, I am sober 21 years. I am an alcoholic.
You are right in that alcohol helps to let you forget problems if you drink enough and often. However, it destroyed my health and it did not resolve my issues.
I am divorced and transitioned. I am interested in guys too. Group does not have hetero guys there (there is a trans man group and the other trans social group only had woman there). There was a meet-up of 50 or so trans women this weekend at bars. Bars are dangerous places for me and the bars they go to are gay bars so the guys there are not interested in me.
I joined a cis gym near me and I spin there. I go three times a week and ruck once a week. I need to go into the main gym and start doing some chest, arm, shoulder and back work. I also need to do a rucking meetup(s). One great note about spinning and rucking is my body is looking very good which is good to attract guys. I just need to get into the main gym and do a rucking meetup.
I focus on high intensity exercise and I find it resets my brain mood and makes me feel so at ease. I think spinning and rucking are fantastic for depression. I need to get some courage and extend it to additional group activities.
I hope this helps, I know how you feel,
Rachel
Quote from: Janes Groove on December 08, 2018, 03:22:16 PM
Believe it or not I've heard this a thousand times in various AA meetings. Just because your transgender doesn't change anything. Drinking only makes it worse.
This is what AA is for. I'd say give it a shot.
It's a good point, Dany. AA isn't actually for alcoholics. It's for anyone who wants to stop drinking. If I had to guess, it sounds to me like you wish you didn't drink.
Another couple of good points about AA meetings are that you're spending time not being alone, it's at least an hour that you're not drinking, and you can make some pretty decent friends.
Your local area may well have LGBTQIA-specific meetings. I've also found Quad-A (AAAA, or AA for Atheists and Agnostics) meetings to be very welcoming. But I've never found a meeting that hasn't made me feel welcome and safe.
So like I say, no judgment on my part as to whether you want to drink, or whether you do. It did what I wanted it to for years, but it kept me from doing what I needed to. And AA isn't actually all that bad.
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Quote from: barbie on December 08, 2018, 01:34:18 PMI drink wine and other alcohol beverages everyday, but medical checkups have not yet shown any problem in my liver, but I have chronic gastritis which is getting better and can be cured within a month if I stop drinking.
It often amazes me how smart people do basically stupid things when the various chemical addictives are involved. Your choice here would seem a no brainer to me. I guess it's not easy for me to understand since I've never used any of them even frequently and generally avoid them all now. I hope at some point a little light bulb comes on in your head, Barbie. Weigh the costs to benefits sometime.
Quote from: barbie on December 08, 2018, 01:34:18 PM
I usually drink a 2/3 of a bottle of red wine everyday.
barbie~~
That is a little on the high side. Exercises don't help the liver much! As slender as you look, you probably should not drink more than one glass of wine per day.
Your liver will not send out any pain warnings, once it is getting toward the unhealthy status, and only blood tests can provide information about any liver problems.
Please be careful with your drinking, because I really need you to be around for a long time! Who else should make me want to buy more fashion clothing than you?
Quote from: Lyric on December 10, 2018, 10:39:22 AM
It often amazes me how smart people do basically stupid things when the various chemical addictives are involved. Your choice here would seem a no brainer to me. I guess it's not easy for me to understand since I've never used any of them even frequently and generally avoid them all now. I hope at some point a little light bulb comes on in your head, Barbie. Weigh the costs to benefits sometime.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 10, 2018, 11:03:52 AM
That is a little on the high side. Exercises don't help the liver much! As slender as you look, you probably should not drink more than one glass of wine per day.
Your liver will not send out any pain warnings, once it is getting toward the unhealthy status, and only blood tests can provide information about any liver problems.
Please be careful with your drinking, because I really need you to be around for a long time! Who else should make me want to buy more fashion clothing than you?
Thanks! Lyric and Dietlind.
Yes. Alcohol is a nationwide problem in S. Korea.
https://qz.com/171191/south-koreans-drink-twice-as-much-liquor-as-russians-and-more-than-four-times-as-much-as-americans/
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/25/world/asia/tired-of-being-abused-by-drunks-south-korean-police-start-to-push-back.html
But it is a part of socialization with a long history. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_culture_of_Korea
Despite high consumption, alcoholism is relatively rare here in S. Korea.
Unlike the U.S., here we should get mandatory health check-up every year, and endoscopy every 2 years. The cost is mostly less than US$10.
For example, the results of my health check-up. AST, ALT and gamma-GTP in the bottom indicate the health of my liver. These 3 indicators are within the range of normal or healthy people, but of course do not guarantee it 100%.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4882/31326699347_d6b8483338_z.jpg)
It is time to get health check-up for this year by December 31. Yesterday, I tried to make reservation, and heard that endoscopy is not mandatory, but optional. Some people rely on anesthesia during endoscopy, but I do not.
Yes. As getting old, I try to decrease my wine consumption.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 10, 2018, 05:28:51 PM
Yes. As getting old, I try to decrease my wine consumption.
barbie~~
Decreasing is the way to go!
One glass of red wine seems to be pretty positive for our heart health, but two is exactly one to much, and three is way to much! It is not only bad for your liver, but or your stomach (with your ulcer) and it can cause a variety of cancers!
I bet you can find other enjoyable versions of socializing without drinking that much alcohol on a daily base!
Being born and raised in the Rhine river area of Germany (the traditional wine land), I am very much used to drink wine (everybody is drinking the stuff there), but I learned to keep the consumption down after seeing my brother in law dying on cirrhosis of the liver!
Quote from: Dietlind on December 10, 2018, 06:14:12 PM
Being born and raised in the Rhine river area of Germany (the traditional wine land), I am very much used to drink wine (everybody is drinking the stuff there), but I learned to keep the consumption down after seeing my brother in law dying on cirrhosis of the liver!
Yes. When I visited Hamburg a few years ago, the host served various white wine products from Rhine river, commenting that the quality is a world class. Of course, I tried to drink all of them. When the host visited here, I served various alcohol products here, and he bought us a bottle of tequila, which I sometimes drink, too.
One of my uncles also died from cirrhosis in the early 1970s, and my dad always worried about my drinking, as he believed I resemble with the uncle. But my dad also has been a heavy drinker, but still is healthy at his 80s. Actually all of my uncles drink well, and my mom was the same. Unlike them, I regularly exercise. My dad also has exercised outdoors regularly.
For example, 2 days ago I ran about 20 km outdoors for exercise. It was a little bit cold and I was exhausted at the uphill road of the last 5 km. I tend to feel strong hunger after exercise, and eating rice is not enough, drinking wine or ale beer. The feeling of hunger lasts for 2 days.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4887/31327320787_b4067423f3_z.jpg)
barbie~~
I'm another one who became an alcoholic and nearly drank myself to death trying to drown my sorrows, I thought my best friend's name was Jack Daniels for quite awhile
I was also a pack or more a day smoker
Then one day I decided that I was over it
I still enjoy a few beers, mainly in the evening with dinner and could never quite completely quit smoking, but I've cut back severely
Everything in moderation kinda deal until I'm ready to quit completely
Quote from: Dietlind on December 10, 2018, 11:03:52 AM
Exercises don't help the liver much!
Actually it does. It helps detox the liver. At lease cardio exercise does. I'm not promoting drinking and running though :)
Back to the topic. I drank a lot when I started transitioning. Mostly just to deal with anxiety of dealing with others.
Yes, dating is crazy the first two years. Just stay focused and you will find someone. I found someone after four years and we have been living together now for over a year. He's a great guy! You will find someone too!
Quote from: CindyLouFromCO on December 10, 2018, 07:52:24 PM
Actually it does. It helps detox the liver. At lease cardio exercise does. I'm not promoting drinking and running though :)
I don't know who invented the myth that one can detox ones body or individual organs. If your body would harbor toxins, you would be dying or dead already. The liver and the kidneys are the organs inside our body who do the detoxing, i. e., removing harmful waste products from the body. Cardiac activity increases the blood flow, and that helps the liver to metabolize all the toxins better, but it will not "detox" it!
Quote from: CindyLouFromCO on December 10, 2018, 07:52:24 PM
Actually it does. It helps detox the liver. At lease cardio exercise does. I'm not promoting drinking and running though :)
Yes. It seems right: https://www.livestrong.com/article/206993-exercise-for-detox/
While running outdoors, I sometimes can smell the odor of the alcohol beverage from my body sweat, especially in summer, after drinking it at the previous night.
Last year, I finished a full course marathon after drinking more than 2 bottles of red wine at the night before, and I was so much thirsty, drinking water every minute while carrying 2 bottles of water, refilling them, probably every 30 minutes. I nearly gave up, but anyway finished it and I am sure I was the last runner reaching the finish line.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4903/45356070135_fe1df557c1_z.jpg)
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 10, 2018, 10:54:39 PM
Yes. It seems right: https://www.livestrong.com/article/206993-exercise-for-detox/
While running outdoors, I sometimes can smell the odor of the alcohol beverage from my body sweat, especially in summer, after drinking it at the previous night.
Last year, I finished a full course marathon after drinking more than 2 bottles of red wine at the night before, and I was so much thirsty, drinking water every minute while carrying 2 bottles of water, refilling them, probably every 30 minutes. I nearly gave up, but anyway finished it and I am sure I was the last runner reaching the finish line.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4903/45356070135_fe1df557c1_z.jpg)
barbie~~
Sorry to say, but the article is more pseudo science than real medical science. as i said, the body cannot be full of toxins.
The body does not detoxify itself, it just removes waste(effluents) that contain, among others, also toxic substances. exercise helps doing this, by increasing the circulatory system, and thus stimulating the process and the organs involved.
But it cannot do this for individual organs, it either works with every organ, or not at all.
Exercise is good for the entire biological system of our bodies, and it helps to keep us healthy.
You were thirsty when you were running, because alcohol dehydrates due to its hydrophilic nature. Add to that the loss of water through sweating, and you will get very thirsty!
You actually pt yourself into a rather dangerous situation that could have resulted in very bad dehydration and subsequent critical health problems!
Please be more careful with your health in the future, and don't drink when you run (or drive)!
Firstly, thank you guys for taking the time to answer my post, it's very nice to know I'm not really alone even though you're miles and miles away from me.
Well, I don't drink like every day you know. I'll drink whenever I'm super stressed out, worried, depressed...then I'll drink a couple of beers, sometimes I'll have a red ipa, say, that packs a punch of 10%. But I wouldn't say I depend on alcohol, even though I know it is a problem.
Part of the reason is that I know I need to be in a healthy condition to go through the surgery, I mean, when the time comes I wanna be ready for it and not have to deal with anything else.
Now, it's funny. I keep thinking that lack of sex is my main problem when it really isn't. I managed to get laid this Monday with the guy I'm completely in love with, my neighbor whom I've known for my whole life. He's got a cow, I mean a girlfriend, so there you go. The sex was just out of this world! Mind blowing! I was having a blast...never felt so much pleasure. And you'd think that'd shut me up but not really. I was simply mad today because I couldn't tuck as usual and had to keep fixing it all the time, which among other problems prompted me to drink. Which I'm doing now.
Anyways, soon I'll be writing a post saying I'm departing for Thailand. Very soon.
Quote from: Dany on December 12, 2018, 08:23:35 PM
I managed to get laid this Monday with the guy I'm completely in love with, my neighbor whom I've known for my whole life. He's got a cow, I mean a girlfriend, so there you go.
I did not know that cow's and humans are engaging in romantic relations like boy and girlfriends? ???
All that drinking did for me is get me more depressed, two DUIs, probation, and mandatory AA meetings. I hated that card that I had to get signed. Heck, I got sentenced to one week in jail for the second DUI and had to use a week of vacation time from work. Yea, the worse vacation ever. :'(
This was almost 20 years ago in my early 20s but still. Not to mention that when I went to bars and clubs it was expensive. Now, I only drink with other people and when a designated driver is available or we agree to use Uber, Lyft, or a taxi, but anyhow.
I wish that I would have known what an antidepressant was back then. Or rather not have been so proud and bullheaded not to ask for help.
Quote from: barbie on December 10, 2018, 05:28:51 PM
Thanks! Lyric and Dietlind.
Yes. Alcohol is a nationwide problem in S. Korea.
https://qz.com/171191/south-koreans-drink-twice-as-much-liquor-as-russians-and-more-than-four-times-as-much-as-americans/
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/25/world/asia/tired-of-being-abused-by-drunks-south-korean-police-start-to-push-back.html
But it is a part of socialization with a long history. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_culture_of_Korea
Despite high consumption, alcoholism is relatively rare here in S. Korea.
Unlike the U.S., here we should get mandatory health check-up every year, and endoscopy every 2 years. The cost is mostly less than US$10.
For example, the results of my health check-up. AST, ALT and gamma-GTP in the bottom indicate the health of my liver. These 3 indicators are within the range of normal or healthy people, but of course do not guarantee it 100%.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4882/31326699347_d6b8483338_z.jpg)
It is time to get health check-up for this year by December 31. Yesterday, I tried to make reservation, and heard that endoscopy is not mandatory, but optional. Some people rely on anesthesia during endoscopy, but I do not.
Yes. As getting old, I try to decrease my wine consumption.
barbie~~
Alcoholism is rare? What's your definition of alcoholism?
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Quote from: Gertrude on December 13, 2018, 07:14:53 AM
Alcoholism is rare? What's your definition of alcoholism?
Of course, it is difficult to define. But the most critical criterion is whether you can maintain your social life without any serious problem from consumption of alcohol. The second is your health condition, such as gamma GTP in your liver.
I know a few acquaintances of alcoholism. One drinks alcohol to relieve depression, but refuses to take prescribed medicine for curing depression, calling people by phone whenever depressed. The second one continued to show hand tremor. Both are addicted to soju, a kind of artificial spirit here.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 13, 2018, 11:07:15 AM
Of course, it is difficult to define. But the most critical criterion is whether you can maintain your social life without any serious problem from consumption of alcohol. The second is your health condition, such as gamma GTP in your liver.
I know a few acquaintances of alcoholism. One drinks alcohol to relieve depression, but refuses to take prescribed medicine for curing depression, calling people by phone whenever depressed. The second one continued to show hand tremor. Both are addicted to soju, a kind of artificial spirit here.
barbie~~
That just means you would be a functional alcoholic. The question is, can you stop drinking alcohol? If you can't, or if you substitute a behavior of one addiction to another, it's still there. The desire for diversion, or self medication if you will never goes away really, not without a lot of work, especially with a behavioral therapist.
Quote from: Gertrude on December 13, 2018, 11:24:15 AM
That just means you would be a functional alcoholic. The question is, can you stop drinking alcohol? If you can't, or if you substitute a behavior of one addiction to another, it's still there. The desire for diversion, or self medication if you will never goes away really, not without a lot of work, especially with a behavioral therapist.
I am a kind of nominalist, not realist, and do not care so much whatever I am called. The point here is that it does not matter as long as you maintain good social life and physical health. In that respect, most Korean males and a substantial number of women can be labeled as a functional alcoholic or other categories. Most of my friends who like to drink together with me exercise regularly through running or biking. As long as they are healthy socially and physically, they are eligible and allowed to drink, IMO.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 13, 2018, 11:58:12 AM
I am a kind of nominalist, not realist, and do not care so much whatever I am called. The point here is that it does not matter as long as you maintain good social life and physical health. In that respect, most Korean males and a substantial number of women can be labeled as a functional alcoholic or other categories. Most of my friends who like to drink together with me exercise regularly through running or biking. As long as they are healthy socially and physically, they are eligible and allowed to drink, IMO.
barbie~~
Whatever works for you, but it is what it is.
Quote from: Gertrude on December 13, 2018, 07:14:53 AM
Alcoholism is rare? What's your definition of alcoholism?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I hate that I can answer this. According to the AA Big Book alcoholism as having a physical and psychological need to drink. It is not the exact wording but close enough.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 12, 2018, 09:08:08 PM
I did not know that cow's and humans are engaging in romantic relations like boy and girlfriends? ???
I meant to say his girlfriend is a cow. She's got my man.
Quote from: barbie on December 13, 2018, 11:58:12 AM
I am a kind of nominalist, not realist, and do not care so much whatever I am called. The point here is that it does not matter as long as you maintain good social life and physical health. In that respect, most Korean males and a substantial number of women can be labeled as a functional alcoholic or other categories. Most of my friends who like to drink together with me exercise regularly through running or biking. As long as they are healthy socially and physically, they are eligible and allowed to drink, IMO.
barbie~~
I didn't know alcohol was such a problem in Korea...why do you reckon that is a reality there? Work routine is too rough so people take it out on the alcohol?
Quote from: Dany on December 13, 2018, 06:57:37 PM
I didn't know alcohol was such a problem in Korea...why do you reckon that is a reality there? Work routine is too rough so people take it out on the alcohol?
I guess there is a historic factor, too. Drinking alcohol, singing and dancing among Koreans was notable to be recorded in Chinese history books and depicted in the art from 2,000 years ago. When missionaries from the western countries arrived in Korea about 150 years ago, they saw drinking alcohol among men was so widespread in winter when farmers did not need to work, and decided first to prohibit alcohol drinking in the name of Bible. Protestant churches here still prohibit it, and some of Protestants here have social problem in making companions in their work places. They tend to be introversive, which can be a drawback for his/her career. Nowadays young people drink less, but still drinking is an important factor for socializing here.
Anyway "exercise to drink" is my motto. https://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/07/health/exercise-alcohol-and-death-risk/index.html
barbie~~
Quote from: Dietlind on December 10, 2018, 11:13:05 PM
Sorry to say, but the article is more pseudo science than real medical science. as i said, the body cannot be full of toxins.
The body does not detoxify itself, it just removes waste(effluents) that contain, among others, also toxic substances. exercise helps doing this, by increasing the circulatory system, and thus stimulating the process and the organs involved.
But it cannot do this for individual organs, it either works with every organ, or not at all.
Exercise is good for the entire biological system of our bodies, and it helps to keep us healthy.
You were thirsty when you were running, because alcohol dehydrates due to its hydrophilic nature. Add to that the loss of water through sweating, and you will get very thirsty!
You actually pt yourself into a rather dangerous situation that could have resulted in very bad dehydration and subsequent critical health problems!
Please be more careful with your health in the future, and don't drink when you run (or drive)!
Hi Dr. Linde 13 December 2018
Thanks for your enlightened post on this thread Doctor Linde and on the subject matter. Anyone that thinks they can consume large quantities of alcohol with impunity is seriously setting themselves up for a disaster of their own making.
There is nothing positive that can come from Alcohol consumption, illegal drug use and smoking tobacco. I've tried everything but drugs and all I received from those two were paths to destruction. Had I continued with my smoking and drinking I wouldn't be here today. There are some that probably wish I had continued; hope I disappointed them.
If anyone thinks they can escape the ravages wrought by the aforementioned, they are seriously deluding themselves.
Please understand my reference to Dr. Linde as Doctor, it's because she is a Medical Doctor and medical research scientist. She is highly educated and has spent most of her life in medical research. Heed what she is telling you, it could very well save your life and health.
Best Always, Love
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on December 13, 2018, 11:41:37 PM
Please understand my reference to Dr. Linde as Doctor, it's because she is a Medical Doctor and medical research scientist. She is highly educated and has spent most of her life in medical research. Heed what she is telling you, it could very well save your life and health.
Best Always, Love
Christine
Just little correction here, I am not an MD but a PhD (I went the research route in the medical field). And us PhD people do not really like to be called Dr. outside of an academic setting, because we do not have to apply the psychology with anybody that MD's have to in order to establish the patient physician relation.
Yes, I have a medical education, but I never dealt with patients (thank god), and was never registered and licensed as a physician.
Quote from: barbie on December 13, 2018, 11:07:15 AM
Of course, it is difficult to define. But the most critical criterion is whether you can maintain your social life without any serious problem from consumption of alcohol. The second is your health condition, such as gamma GTP in your liver.
I know a few acquaintances of alcoholism. One drinks alcohol to relieve depression, but refuses to take prescribed medicine for curing depression, calling people by phone whenever depressed. The second one continued to show hand tremor. Both are addicted to soju, a kind of artificial spirit here.
barbie~~
My two cents - and please forgive me, as I say this not to stir controversy or boast but rather to offer information - is that one can be a very fully functioning member of society and still be an alcoholic.
And yes, anecdote is not the singular of data, but two examples are my father and I. I'm a data scientist. I have to manage teams of challenging nerds, write code, travel widely, sell, and do abstruse math, all the while communicating it in plain English. And I used to drink. A lot.
Dad was a naval officer, rocket scientist, nuclear engineer, a better mathematician than I'll ever be, and a senior executive at an electrical utility for thirty years. Cripes, I can't believe all of that can possibly be true now that I think about it, but I swear I am not making that up.
He also drank himself to death. You know those crappy gallon jugs of cheap wine? He'd start one Friday evening and finish his second by Monday morning. He could slow down enough to make a third jug last until Friday again.
He also must have been made of iron, because he survived cirrhosis, kidney failure, diabetes, and ulcers, all from drinking. Took esophageal cancer, where the cells in your throat rebel from being soaked in booze for too long, to finally finish him off.
But because he was so functional, I had seen that it was possible to drink a lot and be functional, too. I used to put away a handle or two of bourbon a week. No problem at all. Never missed a day of work, though I did miss a few flights because I was concentrating on getting lit up at airport bars.
And yeah, I was drinking addictively. I didn't want to feel trans. I didn't want to feel bipolar. I didn't want to feel.
But outside the shell, it sure as heck looked like I functioned.
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Functional Alcoholic is a real term....I know I was one...Eventually the monkey on my back nearly killed me and it was at this point I quit drinking.
You do not need to be rolling in the gutter every day to be Alcoholic. The bigger question is what happens when you stop drinking...does your life fall apart? Do you think about how long you need to be sober before you can have your next drink?, do you plan activities around being able to drink....and so on
The biggest problem I faced is that I could not/would not see the Monkey on my back until it was too late.
Alcohol is a toxin and as such your pancreas sees it as such and produces a thick "sludge" as a protection against it...eventually if you continue to drink heavily this sludge backs up in your pancreas which among other things, is where the enzymes for digestion are produced.
The sludge can cause the enzymes to become trapped within the pancreas and start to "auto- digest "...In my case the enzymes escaped through cysts causing calcification over most of the the organ...the enzymes also leaked and damaged some major nerve bundles in the area leaving me with a chronic pain condition that requires I have an implanted medication pump delivering drugs 24/7....
If alcohol was being introduced new into society today I am pretty sure it would be treated like another toxic drug instead of the way it is treated now.
Liz
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(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4897/44511189680_c7e95913a8_z.jpg)
Today, exercise and
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4903/44969323085_1059f15747_b.jpg)
drink.
I shopped some fashion items in the downtown.
Cheers!
barbie~~
Quote from: Dietlind on December 14, 2018, 09:27:32 AM
Just little correction here, I am not an MD but a PhD (I went the research route in the medical field). And us PhD people do not really like to be called Dr. outside of an academic setting, because we do not have to apply the psychology with anybody that MD's have to in order to establish the patient physician relation.
Yes, I have a medical education, but I never dealt with patients (thank god), and was never registered and licensed as a physician.
Hi Linde, 17 December 2018
Sorry for my foul-up. My main concern is the cavalier attitude some folks have regarding alcohol, illegal drugs and tobacco. There is nothing good or positive that can come from the use of those substances.
I'd really like to know what a "Functional Alcoholic" is; my parents were what I think most folks would consider "Functional." The problem is, most folks didn't have to live with them. If beatings and getting knocked around are just a normal part of growing up, I had one heck of a normal childhood. If they weren't beating on us, the good old catholic school system I was forced to attend for nine years filled in for them.
I've seen the dark side of Alcohol, illegal drugs and tobacco. My parents were prime examples. Maybe you think you are functional when you're drinking, but you are just deluding yourself. Eventually you are going to pay a price for the drinking, which is fine by me, as long as you don't cause an innocent person to pay a price for YOUR alcoholism/drinking.
There's not much point in lecturing alcoholics because they don't want to be confronted by reality, which is one of their excuses for drinking. I wish those that have kicked the habit continued success in remaining sober. To those who continue to abuse alcohol or any other substance, I hope you come to your senses before tragedy strikes.
Wishing everyone a Very Blessed and Healthy Christmas and New Year.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
You are so right Christine!
I used to smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, plus some pipes to fill in the free time. I always said, if you can set it on fire, I'll smoke it! I tried to stop several times, just tos tart again. That was bcause others convinced me to stop, it did not come from inside me.
Until one day, when my wife got pregnant, I did not ant to expose her to any smoke. I decided to stop smoking, an tat was 35 years ago, i never touched any tobacco since!
The will has to be there to be able to quit, if the will is not there, it will not work for the long run!
I have seen several alcoholics dying, just recently the husband of a friend (two weeks ago). They all, including my brother in law, considered themselves to be functioning alcoholics, and they went to their horrible death with that belief (dying of liver disease is a pretty painfull death)!
Happy holidays back to you and everybody else here!
Linde
I feel cultural differences regarding alcohol consumption.
QuoteAsked whether she could ever imagine a day when South Koreans drink less, Jiyeon is adamant.
"Absolutely not. Liquor is something that's naturally shared between friends and family. I think Korean drinking culture is very uplifting. So I don't think the day we have less will ever come ... nor should it."
https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/02/country-world-worst-drink-problem-160202120308308.html
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 17, 2018, 01:12:03 PM
I feel cultural differences regarding alcohol consumption.
https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/02/country-world-worst-drink-problem-160202120308308.html
barbie~~
But your linked article says it all! Our bodies don't know any cultural differences, a Korean liver is as good or bad in handling alcohol as is a German, French, Chinese, etc., or American liver! They all get destroyed by it!
Quote from: barbie on December 17, 2018, 01:12:03 PM
I feel cultural differences regarding alcohol consumption.
https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/02/country-world-worst-drink-problem-160202120308308.html
barbie~~
Hi Barbie, 17 December 2018
I really don't know where to begin. It seems to me you are using the Korean tradition of heavy drinking as an excuse to do likewise. My question to you is: What are your expectations for you as a result of your consumption of Alcohol? Do you realize brain cells are damaged and destroyed by drinking alcohol? How many of them can you spare?
I was a cop and worked with CPS (Child Protective Services) a large percentage of my time. It was rewarding and heartbreaking at the same time. I saw children horribly abused and neglected. Can anyone tell me when a child should be abused and neglected? I can answer my own question with one word: NEVER! But it happens on a regular basis, parents consuming alcohol in excess, using drugs, smoking when there are children in the home.
I guess the best thing for me to do is just shut up and not concern myself with others self destructive behavior; after all, it is your right.
Wishing you all good health and happiness this Christmas and New Year. God Bless you all.
Best Always, Love
Christine
Quote from: Dietlind on December 17, 2018, 02:35:53 PM
But your linked article says it all! Our bodies don't know any cultural differences, a Korean liver is as good or bad in handling alcohol as is a German, French, Chinese, etc., or American liver! They all gt destroyed by it!
Paradoxically, the projected life expectancy of S. Koreans is the longest in the world.
https://www.nature.com/news/life-expectancy-set-to-hit-90-in-south-korea-1.21535
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 17, 2018, 03:00:52 PM
Paradoxically, the projected life expectancy of S. Koreans is the longest in the world.
https://www.nature.com/news/life-expectancy-set-to-hit-90-in-south-korea-1.21535
barbie~~
Because Korea has a very good public health service system, and not guns running rampage and killing young people, and thus dragging down the life expectancy rate in countries like the US.
As I said, I really like you Barbie, and I hope yous till can sport all those fashionable clothing items once you are an old woman But no statistics will change anything about the facts that alcohol causes an irreparable dangerous liver condition.
And trying to find all kinds of excuses, why you are different from all the other people having a liver, is just lying to yourself. You are not different, you are a human biological system (a very good looking one as such), and your system follows the very similar reactions of other biological systems when exposed to toxic substances!
No excuse or argument will change this, this is proven medical science!
QuoteI saw children horribly abused and neglected. Can anyone tell me when a child should be abused and neglected? I can answer my own question with one word: NEVER! But it happens on a regular basis, parents consuming alcohol in excess, using drugs, smoking when there are children in the home.
There is another cultural difference in drinking. Here in S. Korea (also N. Korea), there are strict social rules regarding drinking. Behaving badly while or after drinking will ostracize him or her. Of course, minor mistakes are allowed, but to be a leader in any group, you should behave soberly no matter how much you drink. In N. Korea, if anybody behaves badly while drinking with the dear leader, he would be punished severely (or even executed, according to some unverified rumors).
Thus, most teenagers here are encouraged to drink their first alcohol beverage with their parents or other aged people, because the habit of drinking is determined at that time. Of course, there are some people who become violent when they are drunken. Those people can not perform well in their workplace, as their colleagues and friends will avoid drinking together with them.
My kids like to play joke and confess their agonies while I drink at home. Also my kids exploit it, as my friends tend to give generous pocket money to my kids when they drink together with me. Happy drinking is the most important.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4867/44969315855_ef5e1f9d6e_b.jpg)
barbie~~
So here we are talking about abusing a substance, that being Ethyl alcohol. Now, what do you people think of marijuana? It's very different considering the fact that it's a plant and not a chemical compound like our friend alcohol or other heavy drugs. In my experience, I find marijuana absolutely awesome if you know how to dose it, I mean, don't smoke too much and it can actually help you. Always when I do have the opportunity to smoke it(it's illegal here, sadly, so I hardly ever smoke it), it kills my depression and anxiety for several days. And that's after a single joint. Also what it does quite surprisingly is to cut my alcoholism completely, if I smoke even just a little bit, I simply can't drink anymore at all and, at least for me it doesn't induce me to continue using the substance until I'm out of it, like our friend ethanol does. So, I mean, it's proven to be quite the medicinal plant for many illnesses, that is, if you know the right dose.
Quote from: Dany on December 17, 2018, 08:31:47 PM
So here we are talking about abusing a substance, that being Ethyl alcohol. Now, what do you people think of marijuana? It's very different considering the fact that it's a plant and not a chemical compound like our friend alcohol or other heavy drugs. In my experience, I find marijuana absolutely awesome if you know how to dose it, I mean, don't smoke too much and it can actually help you. Always when I do have the opportunity to smoke it(it's illegal here, sadly, so I hardly ever smoke it), it kills my depression and anxiety for several days. And that's after a single joint. Also what it does quite surprisingly is to cut my alcoholism completely, if I smoke even just a little bit, I simply can't drink anymore at all and, at least for me it doesn't induce me to continue using the substance until I'm out of it, like our friend ethanol does. So, I mean, it's proven to be quite the medicinal plant for many illnesses, that is, if you know the right dose.
Some people like yourself never become addicted to marajuana. Others are chronic users ie every week or every day - we have all met numerous chronic users.
I think the negative impact is obvious in the lives of chronic users.
Like any substance- no problem while you are the master. Big problem when the substance becomes the master.
Kirsten x.
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Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 17, 2018, 08:44:23 PM
Some people like yourself never become addicted to marajuana. Others are chronic users ie every week or every day - we have all met numerous chronic users.
I think the negative impact is obvious in the lives of chronic users.
Like any substance- no problem while you are the master. Big problem when the substance becomes the master.
Kirsten x.
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A very little know side effect with smoking marijuana is he toxicity/carcinogenicity of the smoke. It is assumed that the smoke of pot has more toxic components than the smoke of cigarettes!
QuoteAccording to the American Lung Association, smoking marijuana can be just as harmful to the lungs as smoking cigarettes, if not more so. First of all, marijuana smokers tend to inhale more deeply and hold their breath longer, which results in longer exposure to tar, a toxin from the smoke. In addition, some research indicates that marijuana smoke may potentially have more toxins and carcinogens in it than cigarette smoke, resulting in the potential for more damage to the lungs based on the smoke alone.
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 17, 2018, 08:44:23 PM
Like any substance- no problem while you are the master. Big problem when the substance becomes the master.
Yes. As long as you can control it, no problem. A moderate amount of alcohol can be beneficial physically and mentally, and probably that is why alcohol consumption has survived in the human history.
There are many people who are genetically deficient in alcohol metabolism. My wife is one of them and she drives for me after I drink. She likes to have dinner together with my friends and their wives. She wishes to drink together, but she can not. Drink but keep sober. You should know your drinking capacity.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on December 18, 2018, 05:18:10 AM
Yes. As long as you can control it, no problem. A moderate amount of alcohol can be beneficial physically and mentally, and probably that is why alcohol consumption has survived in the human history.
There are many people who are genetically deficient in alcohol metabolism. My wife is one of them and she drives for me after I drink. She likes to have dinner together with my friends and their wives. She wishes to drink together, but she can not. Drink but keep sober. You should know your drinking capacity.
barbie~~
Churchill said " I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
He died at age 90. He was a prolific drinker.
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Quote from: barbie on December 18, 2018, 05:18:10 AM
Yes. As long as you can control it, no problem. A moderate amount of alcohol can be beneficial physically and mentally, and probably that is why alcohol consumption has survived in the human history.
barbie~~
Yes, it is true, some alcohol consumption every day is healthier than no alcohol consumption.
But some is medically defined as two glasses of wine (or the equivalent amount of alcohol in other alcoholic beverages) for men, and one glass of wine for women.
Anything more makes alcohol to become a liver toxin, and a carcinogen for all the mucous membrane in it's path, including the stomach!
You stated that you have a version of chronic gastritis, and alcohol in conjunction with this health problem can clearly lead to cancer of the stomach or intestines!
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 18, 2018, 05:40:51 AM
Churchill said " I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
He died at age 90. He was a prolific drinker.
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We can all find examples of people who lived for a long time even when they did everything to destroy themselves but that's the minority. Most people live longer if they live healthy without abusing anything.
My family had it's fair share of people who drank and smoked more than it was healthy and look, they are all dead now, before reaching the average lifespan in our country. I'm sure it was worth it.
Our whole society is trying to find the short way to happiness by using alcohol and drugs. What I find really strange that in this day and age it's still considered perfectly normal to be under the influence of something on a daily basis to escape the reality we ourselves made so unbearable that we need an escape.
I know myself enough to know that I would get addicted in a second to smoking, alcohol and drugs so I stay as far away from them as possible.
Quote from: Lynne on December 18, 2018, 07:25:14 AM
We can all find examples of people who lived for a long time even when they did everything to destroy themselves but that's the minority. Most people live longer if they live healthy without abusing anything.
My family had it's fair share of people who drank and smoked more than it was healthy and look, they are all dead now, before reaching the average lifespan in our country. I'm sure it was worth it.
Our whole society is trying to find the short way to happiness by using alcohol and drugs. What I find really strange that in this day and age it's still considered perfectly normal to be under the influence of something on a daily basis to escape the reality we ourselves made so unbearable that we need an escape.
I know myself enough to know that I would get addicted in a second to smoking, alcohol and drugs so I stay as far away from them as possible.
Good point,
Not many of us are anything like Churchill. I think a very good point you made about using substances for escapism.
Being substance free is the best way to get most out of life. Being substance free is liberating.
In fact being able to live effectively without MTF HRT would be a win for the natural approach. I tried stopping for 12 months and it was very difficult.
Estrogen is the only substance I regularly use.
Cigarettes and alchohol are too enjoyable (& too risky) to take on board.
Kind regsrds, Kirsten.
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