Hey everyone!
I know I haven't posted in awhile (being a student is tough!), but I thought I would share that I have finally set up an appointment with an understanding therapist for January 9th!
I'm really nervous to go in alone and I was wondering if anyone had any advice for a first therapy session? Should I present one way or another? What should I talk about? Is it okay to just unload all of my emotional baggage from my life all at once?
I've only been to therapy once before, and that was when I was in fifth grade, so I don't really know what to do when the appointment rolls around.
So here's what worked for me. It may not be for everyone but it was my methodology.
I was super nervous and had no idea what I was going to wear, say, think, or do. I ended up presenting as male because she knew me by my male name. We talked about the practice, then she told me the floor is mine. Yeah right. My anxiety let me speak freely??? Nope.. after a couple of sessions, i asked her if she'd be comfortable with me being myself at our sessions. She welcomed the idea and it feels more natural now to just speak.
Best advice I can give is to relax. Just say what comes to your mind. Eventually you'll get into something and your therapist will have you expand on it. Keep in mind every therapist is different.
Also, don't be afraid to interview your therapist. You want to make sure you can form a connection with him/her. If something isn't clicking, tell them. Most of the time they can refer you to a colleague who meshes with you better.
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Dress neatly and comfortable, arrive five to ten minutes early.
Answer questions truthfully. You will likely be asked what your goals of therapy are, and if it includes obtaining a therapist letter for medical HRT. If you want this letter, ask when you might receive it.
If you have issues besides those directly dealing with transitioning, you can bring that up, as you may wish to tackle those. If you want to know of medical doctors that she or he would think would be right for you for your supervised HRT, ask, and ask why they are recommended.
Then research these medical HRT providers to the extent that you can. Insurance of yours may play into who you select, as well as the medical providers' waiting lists to see new patients. Some may have evening office hours, usually at clinics, if you need that.
Some providers may not even require a therapist letter for HRT. It is likely best to have one though, so you can go to any qualified medical HRT provider. The therapist letter does not necessarily have to be addressed to any one specific medical HRT provider, so you can go to any medical HRT provider you choose with that therapist letter. You should not have to go only to ones the therapist recommends. You might be able to go to your own doctor, or you will decide to see a new doctor. Either may refer you to a specialist however.
Make a list of questions for the therapist to answer before you arrive and let the therapist know you have some questions.
Your therapist might have specific questions for you or ask you to tell your story or history.
I would think long and hard why you wish to transition before the first therapy session.
Think about your longer range plan of transitioning. Will it include part-time living in your correct gender (the gender that does not correspond to your current body), full-time living in your correct gender, and later gender correction surgery? Timetables for all of that need not be all figured out before your first therapy session, but your ultimate goals you should be thinking about and the commitment you will need to make to achieve them.
You should realize what medical HRT will do to you over time.
I hope it goes great for you!
Chrissy
Present in whatever manner makes you the most comfortable. Therapy is a good place to experiment with presenting in your desired role, but don't feel there is an obligation either way.
Your therapist will probably start out by asking questions. A typical opening question is, "What brings you here?" If they leave it open for you to start the conversation, that is a good way to start it off: "The reason I am here is because..."
Therapy is a place to be honest and open. Try not to hold back anything. The more you tell them, the better they can help you.
Above all, relax. Your therapist is your friend, albeit a paid one.
I now find I just go in with a blank mind. The session *always* goes differently than I expected.
Some of the introspection suggested above is good as well.
Therapy is a safe space to experiment with dress, mannerisms, whatever you want to try. Therapists do not judge -- they are there to help you, and they've seen a lot stranger than you will bring.
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Quote from: JannaLM on December 11, 2018, 08:33:09 AM
Hey everyone!
I know I haven't posted in awhile (being a student is tough!), but I thought I would share that I have finally set up an appointment with an understanding therapist for January 9th!
I'm really nervous to go in alone and I was wondering if anyone had any advice for a first therapy session? Should I present one way or another? What should I talk about? Is it okay to just unload all of my emotional baggage from my life all at once?
I've only been to therapy once before, and that was when I was in fifth grade, so I don't really know what to do when the appointment rolls around.
The way you are dressed or how you hold yourself should have no bearing on the outcome...you being you is the important thing.
I used my therapist as a safe space to present as Liz...but that is me! You do you [emoji3]There is no right way...
The first time I saw my therapist I wore black track pants a black t-shirt and runners...about as uninteresting male as I could muster because I had reached the point where none of it mattered to me anymore...
Be yourself,be honest and enjoy the session
Take care
Liz
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Hi Janna, at my first appointment, I wore my regular man clothes, because that is how I was living. He didn't care how I was dressed.
On the way to the counselling centre, I felt like I was spinning out of control with nerves. Not quite a panic attack, but heading in that direction. Once I arrived, I calmed down.
It felt a lot like a getting to know each other type of session. Where we are both assessing how this is going to work. I am thinking the whole time "How comfortable do I feel with this person?"
I didn't feel prepared for some of the questions related to the past about anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts. I have been a private stoic person and talking about such things I found very difficult. To be honest, I wasn't prepared to "spill my guts" on a first meeting. Doing that was maybe wasting time, but that's what I did.
I went into the first session preparing myself for the possibility that it may be intense and I would have a good cry. But no, that didn't happen.
The main thing I came away with is that the therapist was "there for me". I felt like I had my first ally after that session.
Overall, it was a good experience and now I have been seeing the same therapist for about 12 sessions and look forward to every visit.
Good Luck!
~Dee.
I'm not going to lie, I love my therapist!
Not in a romantic way, but because with her, I can be myself. I was able to be my true self from Day One of my transition, and over two years later, she is still there, encouraging me, rooting for me and giving me advice as to how to handle the difficulties in my transition and Life in general.
Other than my genderfluid partner, she has been in my corner from the first time we met. When I felt down about my transitioning, when I was doubtful as to how my family would take it, when I wasn't sure if I should get my IDs changed, she was there for me. Her calming presence and encouragement I truly believe has helped change me from the quiet, unhappy female I was pretending to be into the proud, confident man I now am. I knew her doctoral training was with chemical dependent people, and that she also has family crisis training, so it was a shock to me to find out that I am her first (and so far only) transgender patient!
I highly encourage anyone dealing with transitioning to find a therapist to vent to, to give you advice, to help bolster you up when you feel down, and to encourage you. Like it was said in a previous post, they are a friend (that you pay).
I love being able to give her a hug at the end of each session. We have both come to not only welcome it, but I am the only patient she allows to hug her. I'm going to more than likely keep seeing her well after I'm done transitioning, she's that great a person to talk to and help me figure out myself to.
I hope that your therapist becomes the kind that you can trust 100%, like mine is, everyone.
Ryuichi