Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Patty_M on December 17, 2018, 07:09:59 PM

Title: Another heartbreak
Post by: Patty_M on December 17, 2018, 07:09:59 PM
Every time I see an article like this my heart breaks.

Although in transition for years, having lived as herself for years and even had a legal name change the family had this woman buried with a man's haircut and in a man's suit.

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/transgender-woman-buried-family-man-idaho-funeral-article-1.2020992

NY Daily News/
By Nicole Hensley

| NEW YORK DAILY NEWS |
Nov 24, 2014 | 11:49 AM





Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: Lisa89125 on December 20, 2018, 10:58:19 AM
Stories like this make me want to cry.  :'(

I know my own brother and sister would do the same thing to me.

Lisa
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: DawnOday on December 20, 2018, 11:13:51 AM
Another reason to write a will and outline your wishes. I have willed my body to University of Washington for research. I have a wealth of defects to study. My body will be sent to the university medical department.  After a year my body will be cremated and the ashes returned to my family. To be buried in a box of preservatives is not my idea of everlasting life. So sad that people that supposedly have unconditional love have placed conditions for their love. You are never too young to write a will, especially if you want "Your" wishes fulfilled.
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: Rachel on December 20, 2018, 06:34:37 PM
I wish to be cremated. I was thinking about writing a will and having my sister execute it. I fear my daughter would not use my name. I do not want anything in a newspaper or any services or lunch.

If I am dead it would not impact me but it is the thought that I am Rachel and not someone else. Even if on the cremation box ID. 

Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: KathyLauren on December 20, 2018, 06:44:05 PM
As if disrespect in life was not bad enough, one final act of disrespect in death!  >:(  What kind of person stoops so low?
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: krobinson103 on December 20, 2018, 06:49:21 PM
I'm me to the end. I don't mind being call 'dad' but to be buried as a man? Thats a step too far.
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: Lynne on December 20, 2018, 07:23:40 PM
That's one of my nightmares... When I was referred to as the son of my mother at her funeral I swore that I won't be buried as a man.
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: Linde on December 20, 2018, 08:41:44 PM
I really don't care what they do with my carcass!  Once I am dead I don't care about anything anymore.  I am pretty sure that my son will treat my body with respect, because he is my supporter now, and i don't believe it will change.

But my legacy are my patents, and they are all filed under my male name, there is no way that I can change this.
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: Kylo on December 21, 2018, 06:10:48 AM
Having witnessed the travesty that was my uncle's burial (of ashes) and the wrangling over who got to do what with them, and who did underhanded things in order to get their way secretly, I'm not surprised. Families do whatever they want with the dead. The amount of respect actually shown to someone who's dead can be abysmal. If they're not fighting over your money they're probably fighting over who gets to arrange the funeral details.

I would often say "I'd like to die on Everest" to certain family members and when they'd ask why, I'd say "so you lot don't get your hands on my corpse". The thought of what utter (unheartfelt) crap they'd be saying at a funeral makes me cringe, too. Oh well, on the plus side, I'll be very unconcerned at the time.
Title: Re: Another heartbreak
Post by: pamelatransuk on December 21, 2018, 07:32:56 AM
Hello Patty

Whereas like you, my heart breaks at such disgusting behaviour by the family, I am not entirely surprised as there are some really unpleasant people who are concerned only for their so-called family reputation which is obviously false.

Hello Lisa

I am so sorry that your siblings would do that to you. I truly hope on seeing you as your true and happy self over time, that they change their bigoted views and accept you.

Hugs

Pamela