So basically I think the topic says it all do you believe that passive aggressive behavior is really that bad and the reason I am asking is because according to my therapist I have become extremely sassy since starting hormones and being passive aggressive behavior is off the charts
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
What does your therapist say about it?
Personally I don't care for it at all. I believe that it's a pointer to something else that the person is having issues with, and they take it out on other people with such behavior.
Quote from: GordonG on December 22, 2018, 01:03:34 PM
What does your therapist say about it?
Personally I don't care for it at all. I believe that it's a pointer to something else that the person is having issues with, and they take it out on other people with such behavior.
My therapist doesn't seem to think that it's agreeable but also notices that my passive-aggressive side is only evident with one person
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
I personally don't think it's an attractive or endearing quality. I'd search out the root cause of it and get it out of your life. Passive aggressive never solves the problem, it only allows it to grow and fester in your life. The longer it stays around the more it will try to weed it's way into other aspects of your personal life and try to define you.
Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 22, 2018, 01:04:51 PM
My therapist doesn't seem to think that it's agreeable but also notices that my passive-aggressive side is only evident with one person
Then clearly you have an issue with that person. You need to fix it. How? Depends on the person and the situation. Family, acquaintance, friend, co-worker?
Quote from: GordonG on December 22, 2018, 01:20:49 PM
Then clearly you have an issue with that person. You need to fix it. How? Depends on the person and the situation. Family, acquaintance, friend, co-worker?
Even worse step family
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Quote from: Harley Quinn on December 22, 2018, 01:14:34 PM
I personally don't think it's an attractive or endearing quality. I'd search out the root cause of it and get it out of your life. Passive aggressive never solves the problem, it only allows it to grow and fester in your life. The longer it stays around the more it will try to weed it's way into other aspects of your personal life and try to define you.
Oh sweetie it has already affected my life in a full and general way as to induce body pain mostly right side of chest so he has affected my general health as well obviously
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Passive-aggressive behaviour is basically saying, "I want something from you, but I am not going to tell you what it is." I think that is always destructive in the long run. I agree with
@GordonG that it indicates something else is going on.
Best to identify what the real issue is and to deal with it, because stuff like that doesn't go away on its own.
Quote from: KathyLauren on December 22, 2018, 02:05:24 PM
Passive-aggressive behaviour is basically saying, "I want something from you, but I am not going to tell you what it is." I think that is always destructive in the long run. I agree with @GordonG that it indicates something else is going on.
Best to identify what the real issue is and to deal with it, because stuff like that doesn't go away on its own.
It makes it so much easier I know exactly what I want from him to die in burning fiery pits of hell why can't he do that we'd be all right...
Of course I would be quite satisfied with him moving as far away from me as possible and never talking to me again is as well so either or
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Yeah, we've all had a few of those.... I just "Nothing'd" mine. They, and their BS, no longer exist in my world. Once they no longer got attention, they just fade from existence.
Surprisingly enough this isn't my dad it's my nephew my father is actually in the hospital at the moment and I am on my way home from visiting him but the most amazing news is I have his full permission to kick my nephew out except he wants to be the one to do it because my nephew has apparently not only gotten on my nerves but got not his
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
I think it is a very female type of behavior. The only people I ever met, who displayed this, were females.
Males tend to be way more direct with their aggression.
My mom had to kick my cousin, her nephew out a few years ago. He was an entitled brat who had anger outburts and threatened to hurt people for no reason... We saw him after and he acts like nothing happened. I think there's just some people you can't trust and don't need in your life. Don't let him get you down. Kick him out and tell your dad that's your gift for him for getting out of the hospital when he does. I'm sure he'll understand and your health will be better for doing so.
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Quote from: Allison S on December 22, 2018, 05:35:51 PM
My mom had to kick my cousin, her nephew out a few years ago. He was an entitled brat who had anger outburts and threatened to hurt people for no reason... We saw him after and he acts like nothing happened. I think there's just some people you can't trust and don't need in your life. Don't let him get you down. Kick him out and tell your dad that's your gift for him for getting out of the hospital when he does. I'm sure he'll understand and your health will be better for doing so.
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This sounds like my nephew as well just throw in pothead and inconsiderate and that's my nephew to the letter
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Quote from: KathyLauren on December 22, 2018, 02:05:24 PM
Passive-aggressive behaviour is basically saying, "I want something from you, but I am not going to tell you what it is." I think that is always destructive in the long run. I agree with @GordonG that it indicates something else is going on.
Best to identify what the real issue is and to deal with it, because stuff like that doesn't go away on its own.
Hey Little Sister!
Kathy is laying down some wisdom in her words above and my sentiments are much the same...
I want you to bask in the glow of the new life you are making for yourself... Let go, as much as possible of negativity, feelings, relationships and beliefs that don't serve the purpose of getting to where you want to be... Amazing things, not yet imagined, await you there...
Love Ya 💕 Onward we go brave sister!!!!
Ashley 🙋♀️💕🌻
Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 22, 2018, 05:45:48 PM
This sounds like my nephew as well just throw in pothead and inconsiderate and that's my nephew to the letter
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Sounds like my sniffling little brat of a neighbor. I'm so glad he got kicked out by the land lord. Little pothead weasel should join the marines and grow up. I can't stand people like that.
Lisa
Quote from: Lisa89125 on December 22, 2018, 07:25:23 PM
Sounds like my sniffling little brat of a neighbor. I'm so glad he got kicked out by the land lord. Little pothead weasel should join the marines and grow up. I can't stand people like that.
Lisa
Amen sister
§§§§~~~~If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you?~~~~§§§§
Is passive-aggressive behavior bad? Yes it is, from my personal experience. I was the supervisor from 2006-2009 of a woman who made passive-aggressive behavior into an art form. She'd act meek towards me (and other people for that matter), and then: talk trash about me and others behind our backs (she burned a lot of bridges with people due to this, and no she did not know that I was a post-op TS); act smarmy more than occasionally; hide information from others that they needed to know; do things below the table that she was NOT authorized to do by my boss (or myself for that matter), that caused some problems for the company I work for; etc. It made it very hard to trust her, and after one screw up too many, due to her attitude, things came to a head, and my boss (who had a history of bad blood with the woman, that went back years before I started working for the company) finally forced me to fire her (not a fun thing to do! [my boss would have done it himself, but he was outside of the state doing things in the Army National Guard]).
In short, passive-aggressive behavior is a pain to deal with. Please don't act passive-aggressive.
Ellen
Quote from: Dietlind on December 22, 2018, 05:08:52 PM
I think it is a very female type of behavior. The only people I ever met, who displayed this, were females.
Males tend to be way more direct with their aggression.
I beg to differ, but then again, I'm not exactly an alpha male these days.
I am, and perhaps always have been, submissive.
Especially when facing someone aggressive.
That is until they go too far and I snap, unleashing 43 years of rage at being persecuted for just being me.
That genie frightens me more than getting beaten up does, because it's evil and merciless.
I don't want to go to prison for the rest of my life.
So I sometimes use passive aggression to fool myself into feeling like I'm getting my own back somehow.
Fortunately, it's a pretty rare thing these days as I've actively removed myself from the people it was directed at from my daily life and most days just drift on by without such toxic influences.
Peacefulness is good for the soul.
Anger just makes me feel physically sick.
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When asked if anything is good or bad, I have to say with most things, "it all depends".
I agree with Charlie that passive aggression is common to men and women and may sometimes be a response to an aggressive person, especially one too senior or powerful to be confronted directly. It shouldn't be used for bullying or belittling people, though.
Therapists and psychiatrists are sometimes aggressively confrontational or probing and I would not be surprised if one could trigger a passive aggressive response in someone for whom it is not usual.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 22, 2018, 05:08:52 PM
I think it is a very female type of behavior. The only people I ever met, who displayed this, were females.
Males tend to be way more direct with their aggression.
I'm with Chaerlie, I too beg to differ. I've seen plenty of men exhibit this behavior towards other guys.
Well, our experiences have been different. I have not run across passive aggressive behavior in men, but quite a bit in females. All men I came across, would have acted /or acted, in situations very actively aggressive, non a hint a passive aggression could be seen.
But I have to say that I worked mostly with females, and tried to avoid the exposure to men, because this open aggression always bothered me, and I did not know how to properly react to it!