I take an aweful photo....
This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest, that I should not venture out.
I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look
I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ)
Love Jessica
You need to do what you need to do. However, the problem I see with outfit isn't so much whether you look feminine but that the combination of dress and sweater don't really go together. That would draw my attention more than anything.
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 09:21:12 AM
I take an aweful photo....
This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest, that I should not venture out.
I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look
I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ)
Love Jessica
So I'm looking at your picture and I think you passed perfectly fine I think you're actually very lovely except you need to smile girl
Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk
Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035 (https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035)
So without the jumper
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw)
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:22:36 AM
Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035 (https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035)
So without the jumper
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw)
I love that dress I actually think I have that one but shoulderless LOL I think you look absolutely lovely you definitely pass girl you just need to smile
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Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 29, 2018, 10:21:27 AM
So I'm looking at your picture and I think you passed perfectly fine I think you're actually very lovely except you need to smile
I have a horrible smile :(
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:26:47 AM
I have a horrible smile :(
Sweetie there are a hundred different ways to smile cannot be horrible at all of them I hate when I smile I don't show my teeth usually but I'm in the process of getting my teeth whitened and I think showing teeth makes me look like a horse but even a small smile can work wonders my profile pic is a prime example I'm barely smiling just enough of the curb of the lips to tell that I'm smiling but it's so little that it's cute
Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk
Jessica, I would have asked your lady friend what she thinks makes a "good" woman, because really, it's a silly comment. She can't know how you feel on the inside, and that's what really counts. Going out and feeling comfortable is all about self-confidence, which has nothing to do with "passing," which I believe is what your friend was trying to say.
Most of us don't pass, but that doesn't mean we can't be passable. It's all about how we carry ourselves, which includes good makeup and fashion sense, combined with feminine poise. Concentrate on those items, and by all means, you should venture out.
Hugs,
Sally
Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 29, 2018, 10:25:05 AM
I love that dress I actually think I have that one but shoulderless LOL I think you look absolutely lovely you definitely pass girl you just need to smile
Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile
One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA)
The dress works, but if you will blend in depends on the temperature where you live. It's a bit cold for dresses in the UK, initially I would aim to wear similar clothes to the majority of other women your age.
Try the jumper with jeans and a handbag.
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:40:47 AM
Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile
One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA)
That looks so much better you have a very beautiful smile
Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:22:36 AM
Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035 (https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035)
So without the jumper
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw)
I think you look pretty good, and yes, a little more smile would make your face to look a lo better!
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:40:47 AM
Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile
One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA)
This photo looks great!
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 09:21:12 AM
I take an aweful photo....
This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest, that I should not venture out.
I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look
I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ)
Love Jessica
I haven't read anyone else's response, because I wanted to give you my honest one, unfettered by other people's responses.
You know what? I honestly don't know why you call that "woman" a friend! I'd dump her like a hot potato! That's not a friend, that's someone you probably don't need in your life. How DARE she insult you that way! >:(
You are you, and that's all that counts! She seems to have forgotten that not every cis woman out there looks like a model or movie star!
So what? You look like a sweet, middle-aged woman, that's perfectly fine!
So go out as your true self, have fun and if I was you, I'd stay away from that person, she sounds toxic. You don't need that toxicity in your life!
Edit: I've read everyone's response and I think you look lovely in that dress. YOU GO GIRL! :D
Good luck sister!
Ryuichi
Arianna,
I'm going to second the advice that you need a smile. Other than that you are a lovely lady. I hope to be there someday soon myself. You go girl! Love and faith.
Gabrielle
You look great in the dress and hair.
My ex said that to me, "you will make a horrible looking woman" when I came out to her. She said she was being honest with me. It hurt then and when I read what your friend said to you.
I go to a cis hetero gym and do spin class. There are 50 bikes in the class and 90% plus woman. Woman are in every size, shape and height. There are woman that are thin, average and overweight and this is at all ages. I am 6'2" and considered on the thinner side. I have accepted my height and my 40 to 42 inch bra band size. I can wish I was 5'8" with a 34 inch bra band but I am not and never will be. I suspect every woman at the gym are looking at other woman's outfits, shoes and bodies comparing themselves to them and looking for cute outfits and wishing they were younger and cuter.
The most important thing is not being like someone else but to be you. I look at woman and try my best to fit in with styles. For spin class I had to go to a sporting goods store and buy several tops, sports bras and leggings. I felt really exposed wearing the gear at first. It is what is worn at the gym there. I am fine now and think it feels awesome.
It takes time in woman's clothing to feel comfortable. When you finally feel comfortable it is an awesome feeling. To just be who you are :)
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:26:47 AM
I have a horrible smile :(
Hi Jessica,
I don't like my smile either and have always disliked photos of myself, especially when presenting male. But it is more important to go where you want, as yourself, so the thing I would like to know is where are you thinking of going and do you have anyone to go with?
Hugs,
Izzy
Thank you so much girls for all the kind comments and the confidence they bring. I have a difficult line to tread. I have to present male at home, the story in other threads, but when I can I dress for me. I do dress down with joggings and tops but that is not much different from what I have to wear at home. I love dresses they make me feel feminine. Are they too young for may age? Maybe, but most women of my age have been there done it and now relax in the pants and tops. To me it's new and I want my time in dresses
Quote from: Rachel on December 29, 2018, 06:27:00 PM
You look great in the dress and hair.
My ex said that to me, "you will make a horrible looking woman" when I came out to her. She said she was being honest with me. It hurt then and when I read what your friend said to you.
Thank you Rachel, she thought she was telling me for my own good, It was not malice, but it did hurt
QuoteI am 6'2" and considered on the thinner side. I have accepted my height and my 40 to 42 inch bra band size. I can wish I was 5'8" with a 34 inch bra band but I am not and never will be. I suspect every woman at the gym are looking at other woman's outfits, shoes and bodies comparing themselves to them and looking for cute outfits and wishing they were younger and cuter
I guess I am lucky, only 5'3" and even though I am not on HRT I am 38A/B British size. If I could lose the high tummy fat I would have a good shape
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtA2tYCC5WdiWwUycA (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtA2tYCC5WdiWwUycA)
Quote from: IzzyM on December 29, 2018, 06:48:44 PM
But it is more important to go where you want, as yourself, so the thing I would like to know is where are you thinking of going and do you have anyone to go with?
I was to go for a walk and get a coffee at the coffee shop. I would have had a coat on that I would have taken off. I did not go in the end. Eventually time ran out and I had to take everything off to go home. In this I am alone, I would not have anyone to go with
Sorry if this is a bit long. Things I needed to say and thanks again for all the confidence building messages of support and I will smile more
Love Jessica
You are 5'3"? Dang, you've hit the genetic jackpot! With the right clothes, hair and makeup, you can blend in and pass for female any time you want! And I'm guessing your feet are small enough for you to wear whatever women's shoes you want also. Lucky girl!
You are right about the male tummy bulge— it's a dead giveaway, and it needs to go or you have to be careful to dress around it.
But lucky you— pair the green dress and black tights with a black open front cardigan and you should blend in anywhere.
Well 5'3" could be a slight exaggeration more like 5'2" I used to say I was 4 lol
But I did not get all the good genes. Male pattern baldness means I will always have to wear a wig
The weight is coming off 35lbs so far along with the bulge (slowly). When I have lost another 28lbs I will concentrate on it if it is still there.
I will look out for a cardi
Love Jessica
QuoteI am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman.
My (ex) friend said the same to me. From what I hear alot of trans women get that. These "friends" are conditoned to hold cis beauty as the standard and
any deviations from that as bad.
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 30, 2018, 10:18:16 AM
Well 5'3" could be a slight exaggeration more like 5'2" I used to say I was 4 lol
But I did not get all the good genes. Male pattern baldness means I will always have to wear a wig
The weight is coming off 35lbs so far along with the bulge (slowly). When I have lost another 28lbs I will concentrate on it if it is still there.
I will look out for a cardi
Love Jessica
This is the way to go! And most of us who were middle age or older when we transitioned, have to loose that good o'l beer belly. I am a tall girl, I am 1.83 m, and I have been pretty sporty all my life, but I still need to loose about 10 kg to not have the male bulge showing up to much (it's actually mostly the "love handles" with me).
You with your size have all he doors open to all kinds of cute clothing and I bet, beautiful shoes of which I with my river barge sized feet, can only dream off!
We all wish, we were born as girls (in fact, I was a mostly a girl), but most of us were forced to grow up as guys, and now we have to make the best of it to become women!
You are on a dran good path sister, just keep on going!
Hugs
Linde
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 30, 2018, 02:15:24 AM
only 5'3" and even though I am not on HRT I am 38A/B British size. If I could lose the high tummy fat I would have a good shape
Hi Jessica,
I would really like to see what you would look like after a year or two on HRT. There are very few who look that feminine before HRT. Look in the before and after thread. It's amazing what hormones can do.
Take care,
Paige :)
Ok I went out today to the local town
Bought an handbag and a bra and now having coffee
(https://i.imgur.com/gmYDgr0.jpg)
No dress today just legging and the jumper
Love Jessica
Well done!
And this is what I was wearing
(https://i.imgur.com/mrk3Z4a.jpg)
And my new handbag (purse)
Love Jessica
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 31, 2018, 08:19:26 AM
And this is what I was wearing
(https://i.imgur.com/mrk3Z4a.jpg)
And my new handbag (purse)
Love Jessica
You look pretty with it, lady!
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 31, 2018, 07:13:22 AM
Ok I went out today to the local town
Bought an handbag and a bra and now having coffee
(https://i.imgur.com/gmYDgr0.jpg)
No dress today just legging and the jumper
Love Jessica
Such a beautiful smile I love seeing that smile
Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 31, 2018, 08:19:26 AM
And this is what I was wearing
(https://i.imgur.com/mrk3Z4a.jpg)
And my new handbag (purse)
Love Jessica
That outfit is absolutely darling so gorgeous I love it
Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk
You look great Jessica! Your outfit is cute. I too am a fan of the cross-body bag.
Jessica you look great! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As to the dress, you might try brown or tan tights and boots rather than black. Try to consider how colors complement each other. Thats the fun part of dressing, mixing and matching. Try to be bold with the color palette.
Gosh thank you girls so kind
Wishing you all a happy new year it's 2019 here in the UK 🇬🇧
Lots of love and hug
Jessica
You look good Jessica. A smile goes a long way toward looking feminine.
A key concept in women's clothing is to pick flattering styles. A style that may work for you is the Empire style, which places a "waistline" just below the bust line. Goes all the way back to Napoleon's first Empress in the 18th century.
I'm small and petite, so found the smallest crossbody bag that would hold my stuff. That way I look proportionately larger than if I carried a big bag.
Hi!
Thankfully, my doctor prescribed Finstead or whatever it's call for my pattern baldness and I've been using rogaine for about 9 months.
For the past year I've gone out but no make-up and no overt female presence until the 1st of this month (December). Take it easy and do what you feel comfortable in doing. Best wishes!
Quote from: Jessica_K on December 31, 2018, 08:19:26 AM
And this is what I was wearing
(https://i.imgur.com/mrk3Z4a.jpg)
And my new handbag (purse)
Love Jessica
Very nice!
Looking good, Jessica!
Going out shopping, and simply being me in public places I find so important.
It looks like you are having a great time!
Leggings and tight fitting stretchy pants are so comfortable. I wish I discovered them years ago.
~Dee.
So wish I had a more female face. I am going to a local wig store in a few days time and get a better one, more convincing I hope. That and more concealer may help.
On the going out I guess it is practice. That was my first time out and probably did not do a good job. Just hope I will get better at it. Not too much worried about passing just do not want to not pass if you know what I mean. Stand out
I remember my first time going out, I felt very self-conscious and was convinced everyone was looking at me. Maybe some were, but most people are too concerned with their own agenda to worry too much.
I always tell myself:
When I don't pass, I have made another person's day more stimulating. They can go home any say "Oh, I saw an interesting person today!"
That idea may not work for you, Jessica, but it gives me comfort.
~Dee.
Quote from: dee82 on December 31, 2018, 08:40:03 PM
I remember my first time going out, I felt very self-conscious and was convinced everyone was looking at me. Maybe some were, but most people are too concerned with their own agenda to worry too much.
I always tell myself:
When I don't pass, I have made another person's day more stimulating. They can go home any say "Oh, I saw an interesting person today!"
That idea may not work for you, Jessica, but it gives me comfort.
~Dee.
I really like reading what you do if you don't pass it actually makes sense I really like it
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Quote from: BlueJaye on December 29, 2018, 09:56:49 AM
You need to do what you need to do. However, the problem I see with outfit isn't so much whether you look feminine but that the combination of dress and sweater don't really go together. That would draw my attention more than anything.
Well, that leaves me fashion senseless. I thought it was fine.
Male pattern baldness can be reversed with HRT, believe. To what extent depends on your genes. I am in my 2nd week of taking Finasteride (Propecia) via prescription. It works as a DHT blocker, which also serves my goal of HRT. Check with your physician.
Quote from: BritneyX on December 31, 2018, 10:05:55 PM
Male pattern baldness can be reversed with HRT, believe. To what extent depends on your genes. I am in my 2nd week of taking Finasteride (Propecia) via prescription. It works as a DHT blocker, which also serves my goal of HRT. Check with your physician.
I think you are wrong, HRT will not do anything against hair loss. Finasteride can help growing hair back. When hair follicles die, however, hair growth stops completely. If you see any hairs on your scalp—no matter how sparse, thin, short or fuzzy—your hair follicles are still alive and kicking and sprouting new hairs, and finastride can kick in and support this.
If the follicles are dead, only hair transplants can help.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 31, 2018, 11:23:33 PM
I think you are wrong, HRT will not do anything against hair loss. Finasteride can help growing hair back. When hair follicles die, however, hair growth stops completely. If you see any hairs on your scalp—no matter how sparse, thin, short or fuzzy—your hair follicles are still alive and kicking and sprouting new hairs, and finastride can kick in and support this.
If the follicles are dead, only hair transplants can help.
I sit corrected..as I am not currently standing. ;) I was thinking of balding, as in the process of, not completely bald.
Quote from: BritneyX on December 31, 2018, 11:54:17 PM
I sit corrected..as I am not currently standing. ;) I was thinking of balding, as in the process of, not completely bald.
For the case that the bald spots relatively new, one can assume that the follicles have not completely died yet.
But that is false hope most of the time, specifically with receding hairlines!
Today I am wearing this. I will not go out in it until I can get rid of the tub and I am a bit thinner. It was miss sized in the rack and only a 10/12 so tighter than I would have liked but I will grow out of it lol
(https://i.imgur.com/khZ8e3j.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/3ElOXWS.jpg)
Love Jessica
Quote from: Jessica_K on January 04, 2019, 03:59:42 AM
Today I am wearing this. I will not go out in it until I can get rid of the tub and I am a bit thinner. It was miss sized in the rack and only a 10/12 so tighter than I would have liked but I will grow out of it lol
(https://i.imgur.com/khZ8e3j.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/3ElOXWS.jpg)
Love Jessica
I am the last person you would want fashion advice from, but I love the look, especially the shoes. You look cute. Would love to see that smile. ;D
Quote from: Jessica_K on January 04, 2019, 03:59:42 AM
Today I am wearing this. I will not go out in it until I can get rid of the tub and I am a bit thinner. It was miss sized in the rack and only a 10/12 so tighter than I would have liked but I will grow out of it lol
(https://i.imgur.com/khZ8e3j.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/3ElOXWS.jpg)
Love Jessica
You look pretty good in this, and would look even better if you would smile a little! I think a little smile helps us older ladies to look way better!
Quote from: Dietlind on January 04, 2019, 09:45:06 AM
You look pretty good in this, and would look even better if you would smile a little! I think a little smile helps us older ladies to look way better!
I really do not smile well but here goes
(https://i.imgur.com/hWX5byU.jpg)
Quote from: Jessica_K on January 04, 2019, 10:01:24 AM
I really do not smile well but here goes
(https://i.imgur.com/hWX5byU.jpg)
I feel this little smile softens your face quite a bit. You don't look as grim anymore, as If your would be ready for a fight!
And a softer face is a prettier face!
Absolutely you should. I have a quite masculine looking face, even with the softening of makeup and a good wig, but I've decided that it's not about how others see me, it's about how I see and value myself. If you look around at genetic females, you'll see a gazillion variations in facial features - you will be just another face in the crowd so get out and enjoy yourself!
Deb
Quote from: Jessica_K on January 04, 2019, 10:01:24 AM
I really do not smile well but here goes
(https://i.imgur.com/hWX5byU.jpg)
Jessica, you look great! There are many variations on a smile, including with just your eyes. You should try out all the variations till you find one that you are comfortable with. A smile can be infectious, not only towards others, but to yourself. You are a lovely person and that loveliness will find its way to brighten the day! One day soon, you will be offering others with your sage advice. You are headed on the right path to your happiness and that is the most important aspect for you to focus on. That is my take on how most transgenders are dealing with there inhibitions, trepidation and hesitation.
I had my nails done Monday. I went fully dressed female, the white jumper and black leggings. I had a lovely experience ending with a nice flesh coloured polish.
(https://i.imgur.com/ti8AdhH.jpg)
Today I am in London with clients, I decided I was not going to take the polish off after only a day. So I left it on. No one has made any comments, though I did have a few looks on the tube. I was dressed male, nice shirt and dark jeans.
My new moto for 2019. Be myself and be brave
Love Jessica
Quote from: Jessica_K on January 04, 2019, 10:01:24 AM
I really do not smile well but here goes
(https://i.imgur.com/hWX5byU.jpg)
You look good. The smile does wonders for you.
I'm glad to hear that you went out and got your nails done.
Today I have some new jeans and a top plus the blue boots
(https://i.imgur.com/CAqHUub.jpg)
Jessica
Today this skirt and top arrived.
Ready to go to the salon to have a manicure
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.alpha2delta.co.uk%2FPhotos%2FIMG_5588.JPG&hash=6af93277f13ff3163227c5e2ba72257ae332c184)
Jessica