Conservatively doing just what you feel you need to get by and manage the dysphoria to tolerable levels, hair removal and voice training. A part time non medical transition that's easy to maintain and convenient, ie not feeling pressure to do make up if I have to rush off somewhere..
Or going for your desires and wishes, and shooting for a full time medical transition and surgery.
On one hand, the fear is I may not transition enough and later in life I might regret not going further.
On the other hand transitioning too much, and being unable to maintain it the regimen. Or unable to adapt to the full time social role change.
It's gridlock. I suppose some of my underlying concerns is the fact that the physical changes for mtf HRT never seemed that impressive to me, to be worth the expense and lifelong regimen and side effect risk. I guess I've been absorbing too much transphobia over the past two years, but the GIC really leaves you adrift to soak this stuff in, especially considering the attack on trans people from the Brittish media in 2018. It does instill a more conservative mindset. To not change the status quo too much.
Go at your own pace. If it's little by little, fine. You get to decide. I guess the benchmark in that process is getting to a place where dysphoria isn't an issue.
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What each person needs to do can vary wildly between individuals. My 'philosophy' is to take care of whatever you as an individual need, without regard to the nonsense you may see about the 'one true path' for a transition, or the 'right way' to be a transgender person.
I started HRT not for physical changes, but because both I and my care provider thought it would be appropriate for my mental health. It was, in my particular case providing profound relief from a biochemically induced distress. Strong body dysphoria drove me to seek surgical intervention, and social dysphoria from presenting as a male drove me to social transition.
These are all things that I needed, part of my path, and appropriate for me. I worked out what I needed with aid from doctors and my gender therapist.
You will need to develop your own philosophy of transition based on your own, personal needs.
I think it depends on how much change you need to stay out of the awkward place in the middle, particularly if you are tall. Unless you are like me and have dealt with being in the middle all your life. It really is different from my perspective. I look in the mirror and see a short petite woman looking back, even though I haven't started HRT.
I think you do as little, medically, as you have to. But I'm a person who shies away from doctors and medical procedures by nature, so my bias is showing. ;D
"Better" is not a question we can answer. Better for me, I can do. Better for you, not so much. Only you can decide what is better for you.
Once I realized that I had given in to the doubt monster for too many years and gotten precisely nowhere, I knew I needed to transition. It was (and still is) one step at a time, and at each step I evaluated whether this was indeed what I wanted to do.
The one thing I knew for certain was that, if I didn't go far enough, I would regret it. At age 61, I knew I had given the "don't do it" side at least two-thirds of my life. So there wasn't much time left to try the "go for it" side. I knew that I would need some hugely compelling reason to not proceed. No such reason has shown up yet.
But you can see, I hope, from my description, that this was an intensely personal decision, based on my own circumstances and age. The best transition philosophy for you is bound to have different factors to consider. It is something that only you, with the help of a therapist, can decide.
Hi JMJW,
A bit like Devlyn, medical procedures I avoid. They scare me.
For me, as long as I am continuing to work on improving my social transition, I am content.
Right now, I can live as a woman without too much concern about what's "down there".
Will that change in the future? Who knows, I don't! But right now I am in no rush to do more. Taking it slow is working fine.
~Dee.
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Transitions can have a mind of their own. Starting with one goal can very often lead to a very different goal. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Transition is all about ADJUSTMENTS and being flexible is a required skill if not an acquired skill. The best thing you can do is be positive and use the mountain analogy. You don't climb the mountain all at once, you do it in parts, a bit at a time. Do something, evaluate, do something, reevaluate!
It may be easier to handle a transition if you are used to problem solving. Slow steady progress is likely to be enough for many. But, if you constantly get "stuck" and have difficulty getting assistance, your issues may build to crisis levels.
Treatment options are also a factor. In the USA some of us have a lot of options via either employer subsidized private insurance or the ability to work outside the insurance system.
I agree with everyone here that you should really do what makes you comfortable and happy. For me, I want to be on the medical procedure fast track, because I want to get the "transition" part of my life over ASAP. But there is no problem if you want to take your time and avoid life-changing (and risky) medical procedures for now.
For a while now, I have understood "transitioning" to mean changing your presentation in order to live authentically.
For some people, simply changing what you wear, what you call yourself, etc., is enough, while for others, surgery is required. I think it's up to you: whatever you need to live freely as who you are.
Quote from: JMJW on December 31, 2018, 04:04:14 PM
Conservatively doing just what you feel you need to get by and manage the dysphoria to tolerable levels, hair removal and voice training. A part time non medical transition that's easy to maintain and convenient, ie not feeling pressure to do make up if I have to rush off somewhere..
Or going for your desires and wishes, and shooting for a full time medical transition and surgery.
On one hand, the fear is I may not transition enough and later in life I might regret not going further.
On the other hand transitioning too much, and being unable to maintain it the regimen. Or unable to adapt to the full time social role change.
It's gridlock. I suppose some of my underlying concerns is the fact that the physical changes for mtf HRT never seemed that impressive to me, to be worth the expense and lifelong regimen and side effect risk. I guess I've been absorbing too much transphobia over the past two years, but the GIC really leaves you adrift to soak this stuff in, especially considering the attack on trans people from the Brittish media in 2018. It does instill a more conservative mindset. To not change the status quo too much.
Hello JMJW
As you can see I am also from UK. I hope you don't mind me answering in reverse order.
1. Please try not to be influenced by the attacks on us in the media and I appreciate how insulting and hurtful some comments may be. We do not live our lives for the sake of the media but for ourselves to be happy and to enjoy life. I decided not to wait for GIC but to arrange both therapy and HRT from GenderGP with whom I am well pleased. You may wish to consider that route but that is your decision of course.
2. As regards transition philosophy, my view is to take it at the pace and to the degree that suits you best. Some of us can socially transition without HRT. Some of us take HRT first "to explore" and then after both mental and physical changes we publicly transition. Some of us go for FFS or BA or Orchie but no GCS. Some of us go for al the way to GCS or ZDV. Again my advice is to try to concentrate on addressing your own GD and try not to be bothered by the anti-reaction from some parts of society. When I first took positive action in 2017, I did not know how far I would take this but things gradually became clearer to me and I gained confidence. I am now 11 months HRT and have decided to publicly transition later this year.
I wish you success and happiness whichever route(s) you chose to take.
Hugs
Pamela