Hello, all--I've just registered with the site. I'm 62 years old and in the process of transitioning to become a woman. It has been my dream since I was 11 or 12; well, not exactly a dream, because to me, a dream is something you hope will come true. I didn't believe there was any chance of that until I got with a wonderful transgender therapist 2 years ago this month who convinced me that it could happen and that I deserved for it to happen, and helped me realize that I HAD to make it happen. On hormones, not "out" yet; only my wife and one longtime friend know. As you can surmise from my handle, 2019 is the year I plan to get it done!! Too much time has passed already. Anyone interested in writing me for any reason whatsoever, please feel free. --Stephanie
hey Stephanie welcome to the family
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Welcome and hello:)
I wish you very well on your journey! This will be the year for you, lots of change is coming.
Keep us updated if you wish, we are all here for you!
Hugs
Cody
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Quote from: StephanieIn2019 on January 01, 2019, 05:27:49 PM
Hello, all--I've just registered with the site. I'm 62 years old and in the process of transitioning to become a woman. It has been my dream since I was 11 or 12; well, not exactly a dream, because to me, a dream is something you hope will come true. I didn't believe there was any chance of that until I got with a wonderful transgender therapist 2 years ago this month who convinced me that it could happen and that I deserved for it to happen, and helped me realize that I HAD to make it happen. On hormones, not "out" yet; only my wife and one longtime friend know. As you can surmise from my handle, 2019 is the year I plan to get it done!! Too much time has passed already. Anyone interested in writing me for any reason whatsoever, please feel free. --Stephanie
@StephanieIn2019 Dear Stephanie: I am happy to see your first posting and that you signed up as a member of Susan's Place.
As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things.
This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
I also want to warmly
WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others
and offer support to others. ....
***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will
make some new like-minded friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
There is information and important LINKS that I have included below. You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the
LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
DanielleHere are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with: Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Stephanie, welcome from another over 60 guy
QuotePosted by: StephanieIn2019
« on: Today at 05:27:49 pm »
I deserved for it to happen, and helped me realize that I HAD to make it happen.
Hi Stephanie, nice to meet you. I'm an oldie but goodie too. This is what happened to me. After realizing nothing was going to change unless I moved forward, I reached out and talked to a therapist. 10 mos. later, I decided to start my journey. It was one of the best changes I've ever made. I wish the best for you on your journey. You do deserve to be yourself.
Warmest Regards,
Susan R🌷
Hi Stephanie :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Stephanie,
Welcome!
You have a nice name. I have always liked it.
Chrissy
Hi, Stephanie.
Congratulations on starting HRT! I am another older member: I am 62, have been on HRT for two years and out full-time for 20 months. I am sure there will be lots to talk about.
I can't remember the last thing that made me feel as good as logging on this morning to find all the wonderful replies to my first post. Thank you so much, girls!! I feel like my journey just got a whole lot easier. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you better!
Much love,
Stephanie
So, for any who are interested, a recap of my journey so far. A little different from that of most other transwomen, I think, in that while I wished with all my heart that I could be a girl from the age of 11 or 12 on, I never thought of myself as a girl (or woman) trapped in a boy's (or man's) body; never felt that I was different from the other boys. You see, I never acknowledged my longing to be female as a legitimate part of me, as something emanating from inside me; I thought it was a sort of fetish, brought on my accidentally learning that thinking girly thoughts while masturbating was pleasurable, and that I would eventually shake, outgrow, or tire of the habit. I was so ashamed of the way I felt that I would not have been able to bear the thought of it being with me for life. And so of course I could not entertain the notion that I was different from the other boys either. I very rarely thought of girls when I masturbated; instead, I almost always imagined myself as a girl. Not as a girl having sex; just as a girl, doing everyday things. And each time I finished, I vowed never to do it again. The shame became exponentially greater once, toward the end of high school, I started dressing up when home alone. Looking at myself in the mirror wearing makeup and a dress was always absolute ecstasy, but I could never enjoy the experience very long, because I found it impossible to keep my hands off myself; and after climaxing, I couldn't rip my girl clothes off fast enough. And I would always feel deeply ashamed and vow that this was the last time (never, however, discarding my dresses and makeup!). I continued in this way up until I got married at the age of 32, dressing up whenever I had the house to myself for the day, which worked out to once or twice a month (I lived with my mother). When I got married, I got rid of all my girl things, because I could not bear the thought of my wife discovering my secret. And for the next 25 years I did not dress up, though the desire remained just as strong. Masturbation was my only outlet; greatly enhanced by the arrival of the Internet! I kept trying to stop being a girl in my mind while masturbating, or while having sex with my wife (yes, even then, almost every single time). I would often be able to last 3 months, sometimes 6; once I made it a whole year. But it was torture the whole time. Right up until November 2013, at the age of 57, I was still ashamed of myself, still dead-set on taking my secret to my grave, still terrified that I would never be able to cure myself of this affliction, as I viewed it. (I should make it clear that at no point in my history would I have preferred a magical "cure" to a magical transformation into an actual woman!) So, what changed in November 2013? I don't understand how or why, but I had an epiphany. I suddenly realized that my desires WERE coming from within me, were a part of my nature, and therefore were nothing to be ashamed of. It didn't hit me over the course of a day, or an hour; it was sudden, all at once. A psychologist might be able to explain how it happened that way (and I wish one would)--I'd been doing a lot more reading and thinking on the subject, and perhaps all the new information enabled my unconscious mind to finally get the upper hand over my stubborn conscious one. The next thing I did was send an e-mail to a woman who does transformations and also offers informal counseling. I used to look at the pictures on her website of the people she'd feminized and wish it were possible for me to have her do the same to me, but of course I never could, because of the risk of exposure--if it was even 1 in 100,000, that was too much. Even writing the e-mail, I thought of it as just a way to express my true feelings to another human being for the first time ever; I had no intention of making an appointment. But the letter she wrote back was so warm and welcoming that I decided to make an appointment for counseling over the phone. She wrote back, "Everyone feels the way you do at first. Let's not do this over the phone. Please come in." And I did. Dressed as macho as I could! After about 15 minutes there, she asked me a question to which I answered, "I knew by the time I was 12 I wanted to be a girl." I could hardly believe those words came out of my mouth!! Since then, it's been one milestone after another, a long series of doing things that I never thought I would dare to--first trip to the mall, first visit to an endo, first time to a salon, telling my wife!!! And ahead of me now is what I view as easily the greatest challenge yet--coming out to the world. Well, most of the world I can handle. It's my 24 year old daughter and 23 year old son (and mostly my son) that worry me. Both are very pro-transgender (my daughter, almost militantly so), but this is different--I'm their dad. I've already read accounts from many of you who have faced or are currently facing this same hurdle and I have drawn some strength from them. I hope to benefit from talking to many more of you in the days ahead. Thank you again for welcoming me to your wonderful group!
Stephanie