December 10, 2018 Labs, CT scan, oncology visit, psychiatric nurse, therapist.
Oncologist verdict was nothing found. See you in 4 months. Nurse increase antidepressant 50%to help with a couple low spots and the dreaded holiday season. See you in 3 months. Therapist. Got second Got letter to go with the first letter received in November. See you again whenever.
Letters sent to Doctor at Kaiser. Referral letter for vaginoplasty consult sent from Kaiser to OHSU Dr. Dugi.
@Laurie Dear Laurie:Wow... you were a busy girl ... and such good news regarding the Oncologist report.
Revised meds should help you.
Your referral letter for vainioplasty...! :)
Life is good!!!
Thanks for sharing your good reports....
Hugs and wishing you well.
DanielleQuote from: Laurie on January 03, 2019, 10:48:41 PM
December 10, 2018 Labs, CT scan, oncology visit, psychiatric nurse, therapist.
Oncologist verdict was nothing found. See you in 4 months. Nurse increase antidepressant 50%to help with a couple low spots and the dreaded holiday season. See you in 3 months. Therapist. Got second Got letter to go with the first letter received in November. See you again whenever.
Letters sent to Doctor at Kaiser. Referral letter for vaginoplasty sent from Kaiser to OHSU Dr. Dugi.
Wonderful to hear this Laurie. Hope to see you if you travel south.
Hugs, Jess
This is all great news! Love you RL
Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk
That's made my day , have missed your posts and comments . Look after yourself and that M person XXXXXXX and HUGS
Great news Laurie! I'm happy to read you're taking care of yourself and that second letter means things are progressing!!! Wa-Hooo!!
I hope all goes well for you this year Laurie.
Chrissy
Glad to hear you got the all clear along with best wishes for the new year. I wish you joy, good things and wisdom in everything you do.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I have managed to get some of my old posts back(some disappeared) I also had to start this thread to continue my story because my 2.0 thread was locked. And it appears I have also lost 46 + karma points along with the other things. I am sure there had to be a data back up failure of the server or all things things could have been restored. That is almost the only way such data could be lost if a server is being properly maintained. Or at least that has been my experience from working on computers for over 40 years. It is really a shame some of the posts in my thread and profile were lost. I still think the is a possibility that these issues could be fixed with a little work.
We put to much trust in these coputery things , wait till they take over the world . Asimov did a short story where some one got life in prison for kidnapping Robert Louie Stevenson when he just took out Kidnapped (the book) as all the systems were linked by computer.
Great news Laurie. I'm glad to see you posting again.
GCS consult scheduled with Dr Dugi for July 30,2019.
Quote from: Laurie on January 07, 2019, 10:34:37 PM
GCS consult scheduled with Dr Dugi for July 30,2019.
Congratulations, Laurie! Glad to hear it.
Hi Laurie,
It is good to hear from you again and also all the good updates! Thank you for the good news.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne
Quote from: Laurie on January 07, 2019, 10:34:37 PM
GCS consult scheduled with Dr Dugi for July 30,2019.
@Laurie Dear Laurie:This is exciting news for you and exciting for all of your readers and followers to hear....
Please continue to keep us updated so we can keep tuned in to your future transition adventure and big transition step towards your goals.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hope you get things sorted out with what is missing.
Quote from: Laurie on January 07, 2019, 10:34:37 PM
GCS consult scheduled with Dr Dugi for July 30,2019.
Laurie,
I am very happy for you!
Chrissy
Quote from: Jessica on January 08, 2019, 09:41:43 PM
Hope you get things sorted out with what is missing.
I know the purported cause, the who of it, and restore probability, given proper backups. I'll be damned if I'll ask her to fix it.
Quote from: Laurie on January 08, 2019, 09:51:13 PM
I know the purported cause, the who of it, and restore probability, given proper backups. I'll be damned if I'll ask her to fix it.
Still, I hope you get things sorted out
Glad that the news is good. Perhaps you could get your number of reputation points back, even if the comments have disappeared.
Quote from: MaryT on January 09, 2019, 03:44:35 PM
Perhaps you could get your number of reputation points back
With Laurie's reputation, she might not want them. ;)
Quote from: MaryT on January 09, 2019, 03:44:35 PM
Glad that the news is good. Perhaps you could get your number of reputation points back, even if the comments have disappeared.
Thank you Mary. As I told Jessica, I will not ask the one person on this site that could fix the things lost from my account. These annoyances can serve to keep the ire I feel stoked. Besides when it comes down to it, though I am glad this site is here, it is not the hardware or the owner of said hardware, or karma points that make this site good. It is the forums administrator, the moderators, the greeters, and the people that post here that make this site wonderful and unlike any other on the internet. This is what I am grateful for. This is why I have come back.
A couple of days ago I received a prescription from the VA in the mail. When I checked who it was for it didn't register, but when I looked on the bottle label it hit me... It had my name on it as did the paperwork that came with it. The VA had finally change my name in their system! When I was online at the VA website I saw that it also had been changed. There should be no more misnaming me at appointments now. YAY!
Now to see about getting my VA ID changed Picture and name.
Quote from: Laurie on January 17, 2019, 09:18:51 PM
A couple of days ago I received a prescription from the VA in the mail. When I checked who it was for it didn't register, but when I looked on the bottle label it hit me... It had my name on it as did the paperwork that came with it. The VA had finally change my name in their system! When I was online at the VA website I saw that it also had been changed. There should be no more misnaming me at appointments now. YAY!
Now to see about getting my VA ID changed Picture and name.
That certainly made you smile...YAY!
That ID should be easy now, and the picture will be of a lovely lady.
Quote from: Laurie on January 17, 2019, 09:18:51 PM
A couple of days ago I received a prescription from the VA in the mail. When I checked who it was for it didn't register, but when I looked on the bottle label it hit me... It had my name on it as did the paperwork that came with it. The VA had finally change my name in their system! When I was online at the VA website I saw that it also had been changed. There should be no more misnaming me at appointments now. YAY!
Now to see about getting my VA ID changed Picture and name.
@Laurie Dear Laurie:I am so very happy for you... success in getting your name and gender successfully changed with the VA Pharmacy.
Now the next challenge as you stated is the VA ID card....
I will be eagerly looking for your postive report soon.
Thank you for sharing and posting...
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Great news Laurie, I'm happy for you :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Laurie,
That is indeed good news. So much fun to see the name, so much better to hear them call out, "Laurie", the doctor will see you now!
Tia Anne
Thank you all for the nice words. Yes, it will be nice to hear my correct name being called when at the VA from not on.
Speaking of names being called to see the doc, I heard mine this morning at the Kaiser clinic this morning. I had scheduled a medicare wellness appointment to meet my newly selected Kaiser PCP. When your old enough medicare pays for one each year. Since it wouldn't cost me anything, I used it as a meet and greet opportunity. She is a family medicine doctor with little exposure to the transgender community. I figure that is a good thing as I can serve as a reason for her to become more knowledgeable about our community. I do not really have a need for a PCP with Kaiser as I get most of my health care through the VA (but that could change if the pres gets his way). I enrolled with Kaiser for transgender care not available through the VA. Besides Kaiser likes you to have one.
I filled out the questionnaire leaving the mammogram and pap smear dates blank. I provided them a listing of all my meds with dosages and a CD with my complete VA medical history on it. I had downloaded it and burned the CD last night. The doc came in and she asked several health related questions as per the routine. I explained to her that my VA oncologist feels I do not need colonoscopies or mammograms due to my regular full abdominal CT scans. They should catch anything growing within me that should not be there. Of course pap smears are unnecessary at this time. Near the end she asked me what it was I wanted from her since I would be getting most of my care through the Gender Pathfinder's clinic and the VA. I told her Kaiser likes their patients to have a Kaiser PCP, I would likely use the local clinic for urgent care needs as needed, and I consider her services as a backup to the VA care. She seemed okay with those reasons. She then checked my heart beating and my breathing and that was about it.
I feel as though I am collecting medical professionals. Lets see; I have a GP, PCP, Doctor at the gender clinic, an oncologist, an therapist psychiatric nurse practitioner, a surgery coordinator, a kaiser navigator, and soon a GCS surgeon. oy vey!
Laurie
Nearly a full set !!!! good to see things are turning out fine for you. ( your my favourite but don't tell the others as they might get jealous !)
Quote from: davina61 on January 19, 2019, 02:33:16 PM
Nearly a full set !!!! good to see things are turning out fine for you. ( your my favourite but don't tell the others as they might get jealous !)
LMAO Davinia. Don't you have a high rear overhead to weld on?
Cant weld wood ( I have tried!!)
Musings
I still wonder what the hell I am doing, wonder if what I have already done are the right things. About all I know about it is that I am doing it. The only step I was sure about is that I was going to start taking female hormones. It is still the only thing I have been sure of. For the rest, I just thought they were the next thing to do. So I told my GP and went with it ,and started therapy. Coming out to my daughter and others. Getting surprised that I was doing full time and had no reason to stop. Applying for my name change. obtaining letters and submitting them for GCS. None of these were done without a lot of thought and none of those thoughts resulted in a conclusion that it was the right thing to do. No, I was just as unsure as ever. In the end they either happened as a result of taking a step in that direction and they have just progressed forward from there. Or they just kind of happened and I went along with it. Being full time just seemed to happen all by itself. My name change was the result of me putting the paperwork in and paying my money. I thought I had time to change my mind, but the next thing I knew it was done. It looks like my GCS is going to be the same thing. I joined Kaiser to open the door to possible surgeries. The very first time I talked to the doc at their gender clinic she asked what I want from them and I said I was thinking of different surgeries, possibly FFS, VFS, and GCS and she wrote down that I wanted GCS. The other two were not covered. I thought okay Sounds good, I want GCS. I went along with it by providing her what she told me I needed to do and the referral to the surgeon went in. I am just going along for the ride to see where it takes me. In my mind I didn't actually make that decision. It just kind of happened. There's still time to change my mind or perhaps circumstances will occur to interrupt the process flow and it won't happen. I will go with whatever happens. Is what I am doing right? Or is it wrong? I honestly don't know. I see no reason in my life to not do it, So if the flow continues I will be having GCS. If something interrupts the flow I won't. One thing I have come to understand is that there is no going back. I have lost too much to turn around. The emotional cost has been too much. I would rather die than think I've come this far for nothing. I am still damaged inside and I fear nothing is ever going to fix it. If I think about it, I hurt. I try not to think about it. I box it up and put it on a shelf in the shadows. But I know it is there. It's always there.
Remember that at any point you can say no. The fact that you haven't is a decision in its self. The one question you have to answer is are you the happiest you have ever been. If you are, you're making the right decision. if your not happy, you need to work this out with your therapist.
Sometime even when we are transitioning we fall into a pattern taking one day at a time. It helps to look back and see just how far we have come to put things in perspective. Might be a good time to contemplate your navel.
I always say go with the flow
Nothing really going on here. I am just going to ramble a bit. I think it is a shame but since stepping down from being a mod I find my connection here waning. I enjoyed being a part of this site after I joined. I made friends, something I never had many of irl. I liked having friends and I found myself opening up and caring for some of you though we had never met. Something I was never really able to do before. Even with the few real life friends I had, I could never be myself. Likely it was the anonymity of the internet or perhaps the type of site, but it doesn't matter here I could be myself with you. I formed bonds with you and we lent each other support as best we could. we shared our thoughts, our knowledge, theories, and opinions. But IRL I was still a loner hidden in my dark closet, safe. with your help I started coming of into the light of day. Okay, okay the first few time out as myself were after dark but I was venturing out. I did make it out during day light to visit Tessa James. An oddly lovable non-binary queer type for the Astoria pride events. Where I found myself thrust into the public eye and meeting people as myself. I survived and have visited them many times since she hasn't changed and I hope she never does. We have a IRL bond now.
As is my won't I decided to make a road trip to Maine, the only state I had never been in. Happy Moni told me she would like to meet when I was out her way if possible. That idea led me to ask if there were others who would like to meet with me along the way out or back. I gathered names and addresses and said I would see if we could get together when I was in their areas. Well to make a long story short I met with 9 out of the 10 other site members and had made the trip completely as myself with the exception of 2 days. I met a made a bond with each of these online folks that I shall never forget. There have been other road trips and other friends met and bonded with. I now have met over forty of you folk IRL and love you all.
I still have folk on here that I would love to meet and bond with. I know I cannot meet all of you though. I consider all of you my friends. Some I have bonded with as much here online as those I have met IRL. I thank you all for being my friends.
I was approached to become a moderator and I declined. Several times. But the seed was planted and I got curious what moderators did. It was like a secret or something and the only way I could find out was to agree to give it a try. So I did. I can tell you it really isn't a lot of fun but I did enjoy doing it. It gave me a feel of doing something for this site and for all of our members. The main job i did as part of the forum staff was to follow the rules myself and help keep this site as friendly, safe, and fair site by seeing that everyone not only followed the rules but felt welcome and wanted here. I think I did my best and was a fair moderator. I felt satisfaction in doing the job while still being a part of the membership family. Due to a disagreement I felt it would be best to step down and I did so.
Since stepping down I have gone through anger, and feelings of having been wronged and I think possibly betrayed. I need not go into that further. I feel a sense of loss for I did like being of help to the staff. I have lost what was to me an important connection with this site. It has affected my feeling of being a vital part of the site. I visit almost daily but no where near as much as I used to and if I don't visit here it hasn't really mattered much. When I am here I read the posts of friends and then read another. I seldom post and that is mostly when I feel I really need to say something to that friend. That they really need for someone to reach out to them. But i do not really participate in conversations anymore. I haven't even got anything worth saying in my 2 threads. This on and the road to gcs. My story is just not going anywhere. I have nothing to say, no will to participate, no satisfying job, no joy in the site. My connection is fading away. I will probably still come visit and I will likely post, if I see a need. But I think it is more like "So long and thanks for all the fish"
oh while you may wander away from the forums you cannot leave our hearts.
:-* :icon_hug: :-*
You will always be our "Wandering Waif" and the best sister anyone could find.
If it hadn't been for you I may never have stayed here past the first month.
Hugs, little sis
cc:
@Laurie
Worthless update:
Went to Michelle's to assist and love her for a month. Visited with Jess one day. Drove Michelle home from San Francisco one evening. Cooked meals and ate meals. Came home for routine doctor and electrolysis appointments.
(not in any particular order)
Quote from: Laurie on March 24, 2019, 10:35:14 PM
Worthless update:
Went to Michelle's to assist and love her for a month. Visited with Jess one day. Drove Michelle home from San Francisco one evening. Cooked meals and ate meals. Came home for routine doctor and electrolysis appointments.
(not in any particular order)
Left out a few details... ;)
Not even going to mention the special dessert I fixed for you? >:-)
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 25, 2019, 01:18:19 AM
Left out a few details... ;)
Not even going to mention the special dessert I fixed for you? >:-)
Tease!!
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 25, 2019, 01:18:19 AM
Left out a few details... ;)
Not even going to mention the special dessert I fixed for you? >:-)
All I will say about it was that the special dessert is that it included chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cherries. No pictures were taken. So, by the site rules it didn't happen. I will say we both enjoyed consuming it.
Okay another update:
Today I had an appointment with my GP at the VA. Just a routine twice a year check up. I discussed a few thing with him concerning my HRT medications. When the doc gets the paraphernalia correct I will be starting Estradiol Valerate intramuscular injections administered by myself. Neither he nor I are sure he has ordered the correct syringes and needles. He has also ordered my progesterone for me. Cost will determine if I get progesterone from the VA or Kaiser once I know what the VA charges. I had sent him the endocrine society progesterone article before the appointment and that may have changed his mind about prescribing it for me. Anyway I had no problems having home make these changes. I asked and then he asked me why injections and I told him my reasons. It was as simple as that.
Also today was blood letting day.. 6 vials and pee in the bottle. three sticks and two techs later, they had my blood and handed me a bottle only to discover they missed one lab test nothing important, I'll get it done later. It's only to check my 1Ac (blood sugar) The others were just my E & T levels and different panels.
Tomorrow and Thursday are visits with Christina, my electrocutioner for 2 hours each. Three more hours scheduled for the first 2 weeks of April. April 8th is my battery of appointments for cancer screening and with my oncologist and my mental health pill pusher nurse for my anti-depressant checkup. Seems I have been dreaming more since I started the Zoloft and more again after it was increased. Of course these are not usually pleasant dream and a couple have been a bit intense. I have waken Michelle while dreaming a few times with my thrashing. I do not really have a history of dreaming much and those I have had have mostly been unpleasant. My theory is most of my dreaming has been caused by being uncomfortable in how I and laying or due to a need to visit the bathroom therefore My dreams are unpleasant to wake me up and correct a problem. Who wants to wake during a pleasant dream? I don't think I would want to wake if I did have a good dream.
Oh I almost forgot, I got a chuckle today when I was checking in at the VA. I gave the lady my info so she could look me up as I handed her my VA ID card. By this time she knows I am Laurie. She looks at my ID and gets a strangle look. It says Leonard and shows a picture of some old guy. I said "yes I need to get it changed". She replied "yes, you do. It confused be a bit at first" I took it as a pass. After the doc and labs I had a new picture taken and the request submitted for a corrected VA ID. It might even be here before my April appointments at the hospital.
Okay, that all folks.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks for the update Laurie...nice to know you are still moving ahead. The dreaming I can relate to and it was put to me that it may also be a way of letting go of issues and or possibly a way of dealing with the. Either way unpleasant dreams can be very upsetting.
Take care
Hugs
Liz
Labs
Testosterone virtually non-existent all tests total, free, whatever lower than cis- females.
Estradiol 124.3 pg/ml this should be an accurate level test was about 12 hours after last dose.
Other labs taken (normal checkup or for cancer screening) appear to indicate, I am still alive and kicking. Nothing to worry about there. More appointments Oncologist, ct scan, mental health pill pusher etc happen early next month. Yep, it's getting to be glow in the dark time again. At least they won't be calling the wrong name this time. My VA name change was finally done. I even received my corrected VA ID in the mail today.
I am officially switching to estradiol valerate. It is ordered, along with syringe and needles. I anticipate having to have needles and syringe changed, due to my doc not being sure what to order. I need to wait to see what I get, then, I'll need to help him get the correct stuff ordered. Once, I have the drugs and the correct paraphernalia, I will begin my pain in the butt regimen. I would impart the dosage, but as everyone knows, such information is verboten. My next change to work on, will be to get off spirolactone. I have been taking a half of my original dose for about a year now. I will be lobbying my doc to either let me reduce it by half again or eliminate it altogether.
nothing more to add
Hugs,
laurie
That's good news dear, having my bum pierced on Thurs but that's anti T . Look after your self XXXX
Davinia, I will be doing the honors myself with either 1 or 2 shots a week in the tail end. the twice a week with be splitting the good stuff dose in half. I already do 2 shots a day in my tummy for my insulin. I should be able it though the needles will be a bit larger.
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on March 31, 2019, 11:20:17 PM
Davinia, I will be doing the honors myself with either 1 or 2 shots a week in the tail end. the twice a week with be splitting the good stuff dose in half. I already do 2 shots a day in my tummy for my insulin. I should be able it though the needles will be a bit larger.
Laurie
Sis, you know how I get when you talk like that 😣
Quote from: Jessica on March 31, 2019, 11:27:05 PM
Sis, you know how I get when you talk like that 😣
Volunteering to do it for me?....
Hello folks,
This update is for the few of you that do still read my posts. Oh I don't blame anyone for not reading after all I am not really a part of the place anymore. I don't think I could be and active member here again if I were so inclined. I do miss a lot of you and that is probably the reason I still bother to drop in. It is sad for me as I used to really feel like I had a wonderful connection with the forums. That was lost with a blunt reminder that this is not our site. I fooled myself into thinking we had a community here and that the site really belonged to all of us who work to make it a wonderful and helpful site for others. This site will never be that same for me again.
Oh hell, on with the update. I have all the needles. the syringes, and the vial of estradiol valerate (Delestron) I need to administer my dosages twice a week for a month. The question now is when to actually start. It is as simple as taking my oral estradiol one day and starting the injections the next. I will decide to do it one of these days.
On another note I have had my 6 month GP visit and labs ordered by him and those ordered by my oncologist two weeks ago. All the labs were okay. my T is non-existent and estradiol is 124 pg/ml which is the best it has ever been when taken at a low point or trough. IE last dose taken the evening before. I expect that to go up after starting the injections. I had my cancer screening CT scan yesterday and got a call from my oncologist today with another 4 month reprieve handed down. It has been 4 and a half years so far since the last sighting of cancer. That probably means my time is running out. I have definitely lived well beyond my expected prognosis for the second time. I feel the odds are mounting against me. in the meantime I am alive and enjoying life with Michelle when we can be together and missing her when we are apart. This weekend we should be together again and with luck we will be together 2 months or more.
I told my pill pusher about my concern about my increased and fitful dreams. We have decided to try going back to the lower dose of sertraline HCL that I was taking and see how that works.
That's all folks!
Hugs,
Laurie
:icon_wave: :icon_wave:
Of course I read .. it's the responding that I have troubles with ;D
Quote from: Faith on April 11, 2019, 07:11:05 AM
:icon_wave: :icon_wave:
Of course I read .. it's the responding that I have troubles with ;D
What she said.
And Laurie
Your threads were among the ones I read every time I checked in when I first got on here two and a half years ago. Still check in on a thread if I see you've posted.
So keep posting, or don't, whatever you need. But know there are some of reading when you do even if we don't always say so.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
I always check to see if you have posted, have a lovely time on your "hols" and keep posting.
Laurie,
Friend,
I don't check in as often as I once did either. When I do, I look in on a bunch of friends. Always look for something from you. Disappointed when there is nothing here.
Hugs,
Stevi
Thanks Laurie I have been a little preoccupied of late but I was hoping you would let us know how the screening went. I am so very happy that you do have a reprieve and really glad to hear you remain in good health.
Chat soon
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hey sis, you hear enough from me already, but I still read your threads.
Hugs, Jess
I suspect Laurie is waiting for me to be willing to tend to her Delestron. A round of "Pin the tail on my Laurie" every several days, perhaps...
All I have to do is suppress my vasovagal response...
Laurie,
I'm glad that you and others still post here, even if this forum isn't everything it was for you at one point. Even if life's other issues take your time away.
I didn't log on here for a couple years because I felt turned away by certain things.
But I need to read about these medical terms and how real people are dealing with these things. My attempts at gender counseling and doctors have been less than fruitful on these subjects, so I'm hoping to arm myself with the info and experience of women like you and others here. Thank you
Good news missy
Hi Folks,
Thank you all who responded to my less than uplifting post. It wasn't one of my better days I guess.
Small update:
I started my delestron (estradiol valerate) Monday with my first shot self administered. I have decided to split my dose into 2 a week. I was a little sore on my right upper butt cheek yesterday from the shot but that subsided and wasn't bad anyway. I know it has to be a coincidence but my right breast has been a bit sore yesterday and a bit more today. I probably have bee laying on it when sleeping. Next shot will be tomorrow evening. I have noticed no effects from switching delivery methods yet.
That's it, update all done.
Hugs,
Laurie
I have noticed the boobige alternating sides with the side the patches go on so its probably not your imagination.