I found a new therapist (my previous one moved out of the area) and visited her last week. After telling her about my past and present issues, I had something weird happen. I keep having what I am assuming are panic attacks or some kind of PTSD reaction or something. I start feeling really cold, like when you have a fever and have the chills, and I start shaking pretty bad. My wife and I had a lengthy conversation last night where she shared some of her feelings. It wasn't all easy to hear, and I understand that my gender dysphoria and desire to transition are not easy for her. I had told her a few days before about the sudden bouts of feeling cold and shaking, but she hadn't witnessed it firsthand.
After our conversation, I was feeling very cold and knew what was about to happen. I told her I was feeling cold and was going to bed. A minute or so after getting in bed, the shaking started. A couple of minutes later she entered the room and was surprised by it. She didn't realize it was that bad. She thinks I have PTSD, but I am going to bring it up with my therapist and see what she thinks of it.
On a higher note, I had to travel for work today, and decided I wanted to do something that wouldn't make me feel like I am dying inside, so I went to Walgreens and bought some foundation, concealer, a beauty blender, and a few brushes. It was my first time ever experimenting with makeup. I posted some before and after photos in the Makeup forum. It didn't look amazing, but it was fun trying things and by the time I was done I didn't think it looked all that bad (besides the obvious stubble that was visible).
@BlueJaye Dear BlueJay:I am hoping that you will get in contact again soon with your therapist so you and she can discuss your feelings again and go over some possible solutions.
I am glad that you felt the courage to do what you have been wanting to do with your experimenting with makeup.
Lots of fun and eventually you will become better at it... but for now, enjoy.
I will be eagerly looking to read your updates around the various threads as you feel comfortable posting them.
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs and as always, well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on January 22, 2019, 01:13:21 PM
@BlueJaye
Dear BlueJay:
I am hoping that you will get in contact again soon with your therapist so you and she can discuss your feelings again and go over some possible solutions.
I am glad that you felt the courage to do what you have been wanting to do with your experimenting with makeup.
Lots of fun and eventually you will become better at it... but for now, enjoy.
I will be eagerly looking to read your updates around the various threads as you feel comfortable posting them.
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs and as always, well wishes,
Danielle
I have an appointment tomorrow. Trying for weekly sessions.