My wife told me that she had one item on her bucket list; to spend one more night with me at our home.
She has been in high dependency care for the last 9 years, essentially paraplegic after a fall. Yep, trip over a piece of carpet and bang your head and...... life stops.
It takes three people to safely move her, she has a large automated wheelchair, requires lifting machines to transfer her and of course all of the the associated physical issues.
I had my throat removed 2 years ago due to laryngeal cancer. I sort of speak using a valve, it doesn't always work, and I often can't be bothered to speak - I don't enjoy speaking.
We can do this.
I had a lifting machine from before she had to go into care but - the wheelchair and the lifter wouldn't fit into the bedroom - easy says I (In my head, I talk a lot in my head) - I will move the bed into the lounge, move the furniture out of there and a done deal. Easy ! Off we go and move the lounge furniture, the floor is tiled so no problem and we move it all ok.
Time to move the bed. It is a Queen sized bed wth a full wooden frame that I have had for 40 years and built like....
I'll take the mattress off first. I remember the men who brought it in, I fancied one of them! They had muscles and tight shorts and ... I can't lift the mattress, no actually it isn't that I can't lift the mattress, I can't move the mattress.
No problem. Pure physics, move the centre of gravity, tip and then use the inertia to allow controlled movement.
I get the mattress half way of the bed. How will I move it? Friction we think is our enemy and friend. The next door neighbour leaves his skateboard out all the time, ideal. Skateboard is borrowed {Need any help? No, I sign all is ok!}.
When you tip a mattress onto a skateboard the issues are three fold. I recall them from basic vector equations. I do the calculations in my head as I watch the mattress fall onto the floor. Yep, I forgot gravity and inertia.
Not a problem. I eventually get a corner on the skateboard and push, easy and I didn't need that wall-hanging anyway, place needs painting anyhow, Oh that door? Never used it. We make it to the lounge.
That was easy.
Now for the bed frame It undoes with an Allen key. Except that someone (I ponder who) decided to put coach bolts through the frame in order to reinforce the Allen key bolts. I decide testosterone must have played a part.
Ahh Ha we thinks. I have all of 'his' old tools (well most :laugh:) So Spanners and stuff and extension bars and ... you know that muscle loss is quite amazing after 10 years on E .. however I get the thing apart and rebuilt in the lounge.
I collect her. She is so excited!. The first time to spend a night in her home in 9 years!
We have lovely food - home cooked of course!
The carers come in and go as needed (I had professional carers come in to help move and assist etc I also had emergency numbers that would respond if I could not speak)
We lay on the bed, we could see the moon drift across the garden, she could hear the neighbours dog bark, (I realise that my hearing is totally destroyed as I didn't know they had a dog)
I held her hand and she held mine.
We watched the stars twinkle in the sky, the moon light cast its shadow.
I tried to tell her that I love her...my valve failed but it didn't matter - she and I know.
We slept as only those who know what love is.
Cindy
Quote from: Cindy on March 19, 2019, 03:14:12 AM... you know that muscle loss is quite amazing after 10 years on E .. however
;D ;D ;) Moved out a thick queen couple weeks past with 3-year-old pushing . . . made it as far as the garage and there it still sits! Also took a busy restaurant job after 10 years work retired and
*oh my body aches* lost 10lbs to boot!
Enjoy Your new "garden view" together!
I know the layout of Cindy's house and know how difficult that must have been what a great accomplishment...I think it was a huge effort...its is amazing what love will enable you to do. I am so glad you had such a great night together and could fulfil her bucket list wish. Love does conquer all, I think you too are living proof of that. :icon_bunch: :eusa_clap:
What a devastatingly beautiful day! Your efforts seem to have been well worth it. I like to imagine somewhere beyond your physical bodies you and she are still holding hands. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing that Cindy,
As I blink back tears I cant help but have faith in love and the human spirit no matter what cards we get dealt in life.
That snippet of your lives just broke my heart and uplifted it as well.
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What can I say. Nothing really. I'm crying. I guess that says it all.
Aww, you two lovebirds! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Add my tears, too. That was a beautiful love story, CIndy!
Forget gender. Cindy you are a great "Human Being". My wife had her leg amputated 5-6 years ago and we had to make a lot of adjustments. Not as severe as your "love" as Jo can still get around on her prosthetic leg. But if she happens to fall we will be totally out of luck. Cindy, you inspire. Thank you.
Warmed the cockles of my heart and my eyes are damp XXXXXXXX
A fist full of tissues worth of tears from me.
Bless you both,
Stevi
This is a really moving story. You are so dedicated, Cindy, and you exude love and affection.
You are both in my thoughts.
Hugs
Pamela
Tears tears and more tears
Hugs to both of you
Ahh, Cindy you wrote this so beautifully! I am just clearing the tears enough to write this. I felt like I was there (virtually! Don't worry about my peeping). Your love and care come through all this, and I'm sure your wife felt it. Thank you so much!
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Love wins! Always!
Lovely, inspiring and beautiful. What's the female equivalent of mensch? You lead by example. I hope I'm as fortunate.
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peace
I just read this today Cindy. You are such a wonderful and loving person. It really really shows when you share your lovely stories of you and your wife. You continue to amaze me.
Love and hugs,
Laurie
Cindy, thank you for showing how big love is, and thank you for the tears.
Tia Anne
Cindy, I wanted to respond to your post when I first read it, but I was having trouble with my vision. I read it again today and was similarly affected. I sometimes work with mentally and physically challenged people and I have so much respect for their carers and families. I can't tell you how much respect and admiration I have for you.
Allie