Once upon a morning, dreary as I pondered, weak and weary and fixed my hair...when the heck did I start spending so much time getting ready to face the world? (Perhaps the Raven knows!) I gotta say, I guess I'm not a 'real' girl. I can't go out yet in curlers and a bath robe. I can tell you part of it. If my hair is straight, I look more masculine. I hate that! I have a few thoughts and I'll try not to be creepy. First, I think binary folks are more concerned with 'the look.' Especially us older folks exposed to Mrs. Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver- google it kids) all those years. Also, transitioning trans guys, do they spend less time on 'the look' than before the transition? Do I ever grow out of this? Could it be I'm really suffisticated and I didn't know it? (Not likely if I can't spell sufisticated) So, I have to get up, do hair, do skin treatment, do light make up, then pick out my clothes (Oh crap, what should I wear?), then go to work. There has to be something I can eliminate to streamline this. Oh oh oh, please let it be work! Not yet? Ugh! :'(
So, does anyone else have mental whiplash, going from not caring what we look like (Cause we the wrong gender anyway) to, 'is my face on straight?' Do you feel silly or shallow spending way too much time making goo goo eyes to a mirror? How long did you run the beauty gauntlet, before you threw your hands up in disgust? Guys, do you find guyhood freeing? Does looking good effect your confidence? Is that shallow or just the way it is?
Come on people, belly up to the bar and tell your beertender what troubles you.
First year or so it took me an age. Everything had to be just so. Now I don't bother with nail polish, just use a bit of moisturizer, bit of lip tint, and some mascara. Good to go. Now choosing clothes... best to do the night before!
I can get my face ready in five minutes. A bit of foundation, some setting powder, a bit of blush, some lippy, then put on my hair. Ready to go. Elaborate makeup is just not my style.
It took a while to get used to having a wardrobe. In the bad old days, it would be: grab whichever jeans are clean and the first shirt that doesn't smell. Now, I have to actually make decisions. Sometimes I try a combination that doesn't work and have to pick something else. That takes a few minutes.
I enjoy choosing clothes. I'll usually go through a couple outfits a day. I have twenty sweaters to choose from.
My "getting ready to leave the house" routine has not changed. I never, ever wore makeup unless you count the eyebrow pencil mustache drawn on as part of a costume at Halloween. (I'm likely not suffisticated either Moni!)
My short hair even allowed me to bypass looking in the mirror to comb or brush it. Now I occasionally check it out to see how it is receding.
I have added a cleansing routine a couple times a week in the evening. Have to combat a bit of oiliness. Plus, I do shave a couple times a week since I'm not out at work and I do that at night.
My wardrobe has not changed either. I do most often wear jeans & polos to my part time job; when I worked full time I generally wore khakis and a long sleeve button up shirt. Luckily for me I have big feet and have worn mens shoes exclusively since about age 16.
Perry
20 mins, and usually another 20 digging into the closet. I am not ready to face the world .. um .. bare-faced. I need all the help that I can get. If they see the unvarnished me, they see him
Quote from: Faith on April 29, 2019, 05:27:36 PM
20 mins, and usually another 20 digging into the closet. I am not ready to face the world .. um .. bare-faced. I need all the help that I can get. If they see the unvarnished me, they see him
Yeah, this, Faith, I need that varnish!
Perry, I love the quote above your ticker.
I thank you for the other awesome responses. It sounds like you are comfortable with your routines. When I was that other entity, I was one who never understood and would sometimes joke about woman's preparation time. Talk about your karma! Anyone amazed about what you find yourself doing now? Is it fun or a chore?
My hair routine hasn't really changed, even though it is now collarbone length. I now finish up wit conditioner, as I'd like it get really long. But it is surprisingly low maintenance, as it is it thick and naturally wavy.
I now shave daily, but just any body hair areas that I can feel the hair, so it is just a few minutes. It would bother me if I went out with noticeable leg or underarm hair during the summer.
Moni. Want to save some time? Brush your teeth while showering. You got to multi-task.
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 29, 2019, 07:02:11 PM
When I was that other entity, I was one who never understood and would sometimes joke about woman's preparation time. Talk about your karma! Anyone amazed about what you find yourself doing now? Is it fun or a chore?
When I was the other entity, she always showered first. We seemed to finish up about the same time that way.
Now, she still takes a bit longer and it's a struggle for me to finish on time. I don't know how we are going to work this out when we both need 45 minutes to become presentable......
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Can be as little as just brushing out hair to maybe 15 minutes for full makeup.
Add to that, every 2 months or so I spend a couple of hours on henna hair color. Almost every night I braid my hair to reduce tangling ... Saves time in the long run.
I chalk all this up to as you say, I like my appearance far better now and care how I present. And I enjoy the process. I'll bring a change of clothes to work now and I love having choices.
And then again if time really doesn't allow, I'm content to let it go. The one woman I bedded back in January had asked to come spend the evening in my bed, I knew she wasn't going to change her mind because my makeup wasn't perfect. (I had made sure I was as good as I know how on our first date, however that was still a quick job, not wanting to look heavily made-up.
Moni, contrary to your experience, my ex used to tell me I'd hate living with some one who primped. WRONG! I am that woman ;-)
It's kinda funny - since I came out, I've started to put more work into my grooming. I've started to grow my hair out, started to clean up my body hair, and intentionally put my wardrobe together for a "mood" in the morning. I also use different hair gels and style my pixie length hair. Even though my presentation is still mostly masculine, people sometimes take a moment to recognize me and more frequently complement my appearance and clothes.
Of course, getting ready takes 30 minutes a day when rushing, but it's nice :)
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 29, 2019, 01:53:29 PM
So, I have to get up, do hair, do skin treatment, do light make up, then pick out my clothes (Oh crap, what should I wear?), then go to work. There has to be something I can eliminate to streamline this. Oh oh oh, please let it be work! Not yet? Ugh! :'(
So, does anyone else have mental whiplash, going from not caring what we look like (Cause we the wrong gender anyway) to, 'is my face on straight?' Do you feel silly or shallow spending way too much time making goo goo eyes to a mirror? How long did you run the beauty gauntlet, before you threw your hands up in disgust? Guys, do you find guyhood freeing? Does looking good effect your confidence? Is that shallow or just the way it is?
Come on people, belly up to the bar and tell your beertender what troubles you.
One thing I do to try to lessen the time staring blankly into the closet is to try and figure out what I want to wear while in the shower or some other task that doesn't require too much attention. That's a bit harder this time of year in Wisconsin because I have to check a weather forecast first. (I hesitate to say Sping, as I've not yet seen much weather to indicate that).
I'm in the need a bit of makeup to leave the house camp. Minimum of foundation and eyeliner and usually some lipstick. My wife asked me why I use so much makeup, most women don't and the response is most women don't get called sir if they go out without makeup. So looking good gives me confidence that I might pass at first glance (or from a distance in the dark at least) and won't get misgendered.
I probably need minimum of 30 minutes to get out the door if I don't need a shower.
I'm getting better on the time, 10-15 minutes for my face once I actually sit down to do it. I've a mild manageable case of ADD lots of other things get done in the middle of getting ready.
My main issue seems to be the time vortex in the 50 feet between my front door and my car. I have about a 5 minute drive to work so I leave the house 10 minutes before I start but seems like I'm already late when I get in the car.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
I never used to care...at all..black sweat pants black t-shirt..thongs or maybe runners if it was winter.
I have an appointment for some volunteer work on Thursday and I have already thought about my makeup and what I will wear...no I haven't dwelled on it but I do enjoy the rare times I get to spend time on my presentation, I don't work so that of course takes a huge pressure off. I went out on Sunday and really didn't want to go but by the time I had finished my makeup I was feeling great and enjoyed the outing immensely...I do care about how I look now.
Liz
I am lucky and maintained my pre-puberty skin. I don't need any foundation or similar stuff, just hydrolyze my skin and put sun protector on. Some lip stick, and I am ready to go. My hair causes most of the work in the morning, but that was the case most of my life. Shaving is not a big deal, because I need to do this only once a week.
The weather here determines what to wear, most of the time it boils down to: is it to warm today to wear a bra? If yes, i can't wear sheer tops!
I've been protecting my skin for decades and it shows!
I am loving these wonderful responses, thank you ladies and you Mr. Perry. Every once in a while I'll get a feeling like I just stepped out of 'the way back machine.' It's a thought from my old life that invades the new life. For example, I will be at home, realize there is no one home and think, I should go put on women's clothes while I'm alone. Of course, this is odd because I haven't worn men's clothes for almost three years. The same with primping or spending time getting my look together. Even when I walk through a store and look at a mirror. My first thought is, "Don't let people see you look in the mirror, girls do that!" After I recover from slapping myself for being silly, I go, "Oh yeah, I can do that now." It's weird but I know I will get tired of being particular about my look. It's just natural, right? Maybe I need to develop a good, dyed in the wool sloppy look that is still feminine enough where I feel comfortable.
I have the type of job where I shower after work, so can't brush teeth in the shower in AM. Keep talking to me, I need some inspiration.
I have an office with a mirror to check out how I'm dressed. In theory, I have enough privacy to change into another outfit at work.
I think that being, let's say, decidedly into adulthood at transition, is a double-whammy. Not only do we have to live up to the influence of role models who were more and more binary as you go back in time, but we also suffered more of the effects of maturing with the wrong mix of hormones. Both contribute to personal appearance taking a lot of freaking work, generally speaking. Seems like there should be some kind of discount instead.
Still, I'm at peace with taking longer to get ready now than I did pre-transition (along with spending more of my income on clothing and jewelry) because it's worth it to be able to look in the mirror and smile once in a while. If anything, I feel bad that I'm always so late and overstressed on those occasions that I leave the house that I rarely have time to do full makeup anymore, much less experiment and fix mistakes the way I did when I was just a few months into transition.
Priorities... somehow "self" always ends up at the bottom of the list.
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 30, 2019, 07:08:07 PM
Even when I walk through a store and look at a mirror. My first thought is, "Don't let people see you look in the mirror, girls do that!" After I recover from slapping myself for being silly, I go, "Oh yeah, I can do that now." It's weird but I know I will get tired of being particular about my look.
I did not know that only girls can look into store mirrors. When I was still trying to be a guy, I almost searched those mirrors out, to make sure my hair looks ok, or that the tie (if I was wearing one) was ok, etc. And sometimes just to look at me in the mirror.
But I also was the guy who owned over 30 pairs of shoes and liked to go shopping for clothing, etc. I just was a wannabe guy, never really made it, and finally gave up trying to be one!
I've spent a lot of time doing my hair and make up since I was 12. My dad let me have my hair shoulder length and I would use a curling iron it. I talked my dad into letting me wear mascara by telling him if my eyelashes had color I would look more Normal
Lol now I spend a lot more time with my makeup. It takes a while to get my lashes covered and to do my eyeliner. It makes me a little jealous how Tristan or Tyler can be ready to go out in 10 minutes.😠
Quote from: Julia1996 on May 01, 2019, 03:29:55 AM
Lol now I spend a lot more time with my makeup. It takes a while to get my lashes covered and to do my eyeliner. It makes me a little jealous how Tristan or Tyler can be ready to go out in 10 minutes.😠
haha, don't forget Sadie, I'm usually out the door in 10 after finishing a shower ... well factor in that I'm nowhere near as fetching as you even when I spend the time to make myself up ;-).
Quote from: SadieBlake on May 01, 2019, 10:20:04 AM
haha, don't forget Sadie, I'm usually out the door in 10 after finishing a shower ... well factor in that I'm nowhere near as fetching as you even when I spend the time to make myself up ;-).
Aww, thank you. I wish I could be ready in 10 minutes after getting out of the shower. My hair is almost waist length and takes time to dry. Tristan and Tyler both have buzz cuts that take like 1 minute to air dry.lol. when I get out of the shower with a clean face my lashes and brows are totally white and it looks like I don't have either lashes or brows. It takes several coats of mascara to cover my white lashes and it's a pain to get it on without clumps. It also takes time to do my brows so they don't look stupid or too dark. Then I do eyeliner. I like kind of elaborate eyeliner so that takes time. I don't wear foundation because the only foundation that would match my skin is clown white makeup. Lol. But I do use blush and do countoring and shading. Then I have to use a curling iron or hot rollers on my stick straight hair. Tristan and Tyler have both said they don't know why it takes me so long to get ready. Tyler said I need to budget my time better. I really wanted to smack him! I also find it funny that Tyler always tells me I don't need all that make up but when I don't have any make up on he will say " are you sick? You look awful!" Sigh.....