Anyone else have early signs of being trans that you shrugged off as stuff that everyone did? Like constantly wondering what it would be like if you were the right gender? I always would dream about being "reraised" as a girl when i was really young. Plus i always wished i could wear skirts and dress more feminine. I always shrugged it off as just "nah other people think like this too" and "i guess i just want a freedom to dress however i want" but in reality yeah, its just me being an egg.
Huh I constantly thought about it. Even tried to write some tales, though failed :D
But once or twice I played girl in FRPG and that was my best roleplay ever I think :) And there is no one who can argue with that hahaha ^_^ Well, I did that because was sure that I have no escape and have to live entire life as male.
Still imagine some stories time to time.
Quote from: Alice V on May 04, 2019, 04:37:21 PM
Huh I constantly thought about it. Even tried to write some tales, though failed :D
But once or twice I played girl in FRPG and that was my best roleplay ever I think :) And there is no one who can argue with that hahaha ^_^ Well, I did that because was sure that I have no escape and have to live entire life as male.
Still imagine some stories time to time.
yeah, i did the same thing. i would always go into chat rooms/play video games and say "nah mate im a woman". it was really euphoric at times.
Playing video games as a female character. I always do this if there is an option. Never really considered that regular guys might not want to do that. Perhaps they do?
Quoteyeah, i did the same thing. i would always go into chat rooms/play video games and say "nah mate im a woman". it was really euphoric at times.
Nah, too straightforward for me. I let them guess who am I. When they called me girl in such circumstances, it's far more satisfyingly.
QuotePlaying video games as a female character. I always do this if there is an option. Never really considered that regular guys might not want to do that. Perhaps they do?
They always do that. You know, dat ass stuff.
Actually, girls often play male characters. Perhaps due they do not need compensate dysphoria. I will never forget my shock when I learned one of pvp-leaders in russian WoW guild was girl who played male tauren named "Ogogobitsuha" (something like "Wow dat biceps" translation).
When I young, 6-7ish, I knew at puberty I would turn into a man or woman. I thought it was a choice. So I would tuck my boy parts and pull on my boobs at bed time, hoping that was how you made the choice. For some reason, it didn't work.
Quote from: Anastasia on May 04, 2019, 05:16:45 PM
When I young, 6-7ish, I knew at puberty I would turn into a man or woman. I thought it was a choice. So I would tuck my boy parts and pull on my boobs at bed time, hoping that was how you made the choice. For some reason, it didn't work.
Awww, that's cute ^_^
Well now you know what to do to achieve that purpose :D
Quote from: Anastasia on May 04, 2019, 05:16:45 PM
When I young, 6-7ish, I knew at puberty I would turn into a man or woman. I thought it was a choice. So I would tuck my boy parts and pull on my boobs at bed time, hoping that was how you made the choice. For some reason, it didn't work.
thats why they say hrt is "puberty 2: electric boobaloo"
I can't really pinpoint exact hints as such in very young life because well, as a gender non conforming little girl my behaviour wasn't exactly "totally trans" because a LOT of cis girls are into dinosaurs and insects and trains and stuff right? And my parents just indulged my non conformity, embraced it. It was never a big deal.
however, I never understood girls. As in, I felt like social interactions with girls were a minefield of expectations and social cues I didn't understand and they all seemed to instinctively KNOW and it made me feel really outcast and wierd. Like an alien observing.
It wasn't till I fell out with literally every girl in my year over some stupid petty thing and started to hang out with the guys out of desperation and realised "oh wow... this makes sense!" those social interactions weren't so explosive, conversations felt natural and I felt SAFE and secure and less like I was having to fake it.
I HATED "girl" media and preferred massively the stuff marketed to boys. He Man, Transformers, TMNTs, Gargoyles etc. I adored them, but I knew they weren't "for me" which sucked and made me a bit self concious. I always felt like the media aimed at girls was saccerine and nauseating. I wanted action and adventure! But I don't think that's a thing unique to boys, gendered media is just stupid and restrictive like that.
In my writing the protagonists were almost always male and later when I started to rp I predominantly played male characters, even going so far as to outright state "I don't understand girls, how could I play one?"
I remember being utterly delighted one night when a girl i'd been chatting and rping with for months found out I was a girl was expressed disappointment because she thought I was "a really nice guy" and she kinda had a bit of a crush on me thinking I was male.
Okay I felt a bit bad that i'd accidentally misled her (she never asked me my real gender and we were playing in character!) but also DELIGHTED that I was mistaken for a guy. I saw it as validation that I could rp real good lol.
I tried to rp as a girl several times but I never got very far. Some sort of mental block stopped me, this subconcious "I can't get into the skin of a girl, I don't understand the female mind! it's all a scary mystery!" and it ticks me off because in my mind a good writer and roleplayer SHOULD be able to write both genders and my inner feminist insists guys and girls aren't that different and to claim as such is massively mysogynistic and wrong and yet... ARGHHH.. I just really can't get into the minds of female characters when I write them. There's a mental block that prevents me from getting comfortable in that skin. (Maybe it's dysphoria?)
Later I used to get SO indignant when people forced me to play a girl, I didn't want to and a felt so uncomfortable doing so. Rp was supposed to be my escape, a place where I didn't have to be ME. Being forced to play a girl upset me. I'd argue and get quite hostile about it.
If I ever had the oppertunity, i'd play a guy. It felt more natural, more correct, just... right.
My brain just defaults to male it seems.
Puberty was massively cripplingly traumatic to the point I preferred chaffed bleeding nipples to wearing a bra. Bras disgusted me, i refused to have anything to do with them till I had no other option. I resented them. Typically girls do NOT chose physical pain over bras...that is a bit wierd.
I have NEVER been able to "sit like a lady" as in, it's actually physically painful to my hips to attempt to sit with my knees together and as a result as a kid I was often teased for exposing my panties for sitting with my legs apart. So embarrassing. I dunno why though, I have always assumed it's something to do with the way my hips are shaped. Maybe I just don't have feminine hips or something.
And in my teens I began to describe myself as "a male brain in a female body" without realising how damn trans that is. I suppose i'd convinced myself I couldn't be trans because I didn't hate my body ENOUGH and because I didn't really understand what it was or that transmen existed.
I had no frame of reference but looking back? Me laughing with the guys and waving a hand all "well you know what im like, a guy in a girl's body right?" and we'd all laugh... How did none of us realise? Bah.
Oh, also the macho thing. I noticed this recently. Okay, so the cliche is that guys will compete when it comes to drinking and food, specifically who can eat the spiciest thing and who can eat the rarest steak or the biggest steak right?
I DO THIS! I never realised I did it but I do! Any chance to "out guy" the guys and i'm right there challenging them to an arm wrestling contest, it's ridiculous!
I suppose I was so desperate to be "one of the guys".
and to be honest, I have most of my life felt like "one of the guys" and find it extremely hurtful and dysphoria inducing when i'm excluded from things for being female or treated "like a girl". I get indignant and angry.
thankfully my friends are usually very good at treating me the same as all their other friends. I mean it helps i'm crass, sweary and rampantly bisexual so they never had to watch what they said around me lol. We used to have LAN parties and laugh at the jiggle physics of Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball which is such a horribly sexist game but SO AMUSINGLY stupid.
Ooo and the final one, which cracks me up a lot in hindsight. I went to visit my then boyfriend's family and friends and he introduced me to one of his friends saying "this is T, girls HATE T, not a single girl we've ever introduced to him has liked him so don't feel bad if you don't get along"
T and I spent the rest of the night chatting, laughing and drinking and the group of them were absolutely flabberghasted.
I haven't a clue why girls hated him, he seemed a perfectly normal guy to me but then, maybe i'm so engrained in guy culture that I don't NOTICE stuff that might make a cis girl uncomfortable? I dunno. But in hindsight it all makes sense! I got on with him because i'm not a girl! hahahaha.
A lot of me makes a lot of sense in hindsight, but then there's other things that don't quite fit that nice neat narrative but I suppose that's humans for you isn't it?
Mom has told me that As a toddler I put up for a fight when my mom tried to put dresses and cute cloths on me. I screamed and fought until she took them off and put normal cloths on me.
At 7, I understood I had the wrong parts downstairs. I thought "I will fix that later."
When I started school at 7, we had sports class. I refused to wear those cute ballerina dresses all the girls had. I had shorts and a t-shirt. My teacher was good. She realized I'm a boy and I had sports activities with the other boys when we had separate classes.
Those are my earliest memories.
Tony
I did ballet for some reason, but insisted i would NOT wear pink or a tutu. we had to search for white "boy" ballet shoes and I wore a black leotard. so yeah, I dressed like a male ballet dancer lol. I remember it was hard to find ballet shoes that weren't pink with ribbons. only boys get to wear white or black shoes with the elastic strap traditionally. All the other girls had pretty pink shoes and pink leotards so I stood out hahah, but I was NOT wearing pink, nah uh.
I was like 6 or 7 and I didn't do ballet for long, I wasn't good at it. I lacked the uh... swan like demure grace female ballet dancers are supposed to have lol.
Quote from: IsabelleTheClown on May 04, 2019, 04:21:42 PM
Anyone else have early signs of being trans that you shrugged off as stuff that everyone did? Like constantly wondering what it would be like if you were the right gender? I always would dream about being "reraised" as a girl when i was really young. Plus i always wished i could wear skirts and dress more feminine. I always shrugged it off as just "nah other people think like this too" and "i guess i just want a freedom to dress however i want" but in reality yeah, its just me being an egg.
Hey, were you spying on my dreams and poking around in my mind?
I too thought everyone had those thoughts. One day (after coming out) I asked my then-wife how often she had those thoughts. She looked at me and said she didn't understand the question, she never thought about that and the idea of even thinking about "being a girl" was foreign to her. She was just who she was and never did she think about her gender.
Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
If I had a dollar for every time I daydreamed of being a girl, I'd be rich today. I didn't know about male and female anatomy until I was well into my teens, so I didn't know I had the wrong parts. I just wanted to wear dresses and hang out with the girls. The elementary school I went to had segregated playgounds for boys and girls, so I didn't get to do that and didn't understand why.
Quote from: IsabelleTheClown on May 04, 2019, 04:21:42 PM
1. Anyone else have early signs of being trans that you shrugged off as stuff that everyone did?
2. Like constantly wondering what it would be like if you were the right gender? I always would dream about being "reraised" as a girl when i was really young. Plus i always wished i could wear skirts and dress more feminine. I always shrugged it off as just "nah other people think like this too" and "i guess i just want a freedom to dress however i want" but in reality yeah, its just me being an egg.
Hello Isabelle
Please forgive me but my answer to your first question must be "No" and my answer to your second question must be "Yes".
1. I honestly do not wish to sound in any way conceited but I always knew I was trans as a child and never shrugged it off as something normal children would do - wishing to have been born the other gender.
2. I always longed to have been born the right gender and/or reraised as the right gender and to experience life as a little girl and then as a young woman. I started crossdressing as a child and for my entire adult life I crossdressed and bodyshaved.
I think most of us have "early signs" but not all of us. Some of us that do have them recognize them and some of us shrug them off which is fine either way.
Wishing you happiness.
Hugs
Pamela
I grew in a conservative home and getting bullied a lot, so while I never felt like I fit in, I didn't put together why until recently when I discovered I was trans. Until then I just thought I was a nerd or whatever, though there have been plenty of "you should have known" flags.
My entire childhood I tended to have female friends, and got along much better with girls than boys. I've never liked competition unless it was friendly and team-based, and have always been uncomfortable around masculine guys. I definitely preferred "girls" cartoons like Gem and the Holograms to the likes of G.I. Joe and He-Man. I remember being accused of having feminine tendencies, like how I hold my hands to check my nails. There was also a time when I first got into online chat rooms where someone argued with me that I was girl because he thought my screen name was female, and I eventually just gave up and played along, annoyed only that he didn't believe me and not at all upset I was viewed as a girl.
When I began experiencing dysphoria (I had no idea what it was, I just thought it was a strong envy toward girls), I most certainly did not think it was something that other people experienced. I had never been introduced to the concept of being transgender and thus, I thought I was some kind of a freak. Until I learned that being transgender was something that other people experienced, I kept it to myself aside from praying to God to fix this problem - that I thought I was alone in having - and make me wake up as a girl.
I knew I was trans from a very early age, like 4 years old, but I told myself I needn't to transition during my teens, because I knew that my transition would hurt my parents feelings.
I didn't manage to do that for long. I eventually gave in during my late teens and early 20s.
Luv,
Debby