Hi I started responding a few days ago then read in a thread that intro's are appreciated.
So. I'm here because I'm not a woman allthough I'm not sure I'm a man. And I was raised as a genderqueer woman and lived as such for 33 years and 10 years as a kid. Those first 10 years i did not experience as gendered. But as of puberty a cultural segregation happened and i fitted nowhere any more. Also i was not happy about the way i looked. So some experiments with trying to present as male happened sporadically. Attracted to males so female physical helped me out there. Married. Had two kids. Got diagnosed as autistic. Then last year started to recognise that i prefer masculine roles for myself, also sexually, and got frustrated. I now know what this disoriented passive feeling is in romantic and sexual interactions. It's weirdness from being read female and gaving female organs. Frustrating but also a happy epiphany because there is a great technical solution for this . Enter societal and social and relationship frictions. Damn
Not everyone is happy. Not everyone is ready to supply technical solutions on demand.
Husband turns out to be very hetero (or scared of the unfamiliar) and is unhappy.And avoidant but not immobile. But it could be my optimism that is misleading me. Doctors want other doctors to back them up in case i got it wrong or in case they didn't stick to procedure or could be accused of not being conscientious or careful enough. Snd they work so slowly.... however i found within one month an endocrinologist willimg to prescribe t provided i pass a psych test.... ... that is where I am now. Waitimg for a psych appointment and hoping i pass THE TEST. I came out to partner and parents and brother and some colleagues. I dress masculine and find that dressing feminine doesn't feel right any more. I do not know where i'm heading but i'm very sure that i'm not a woman. Not being a woman feels good. I'm hoping to become hairy and muscly and smell and sound different on T grow a beard and a jaw and loose the female looking eyes and legs and one day hopefully having my own penis in full working order. I may keep my boobs they make me look like i am super muscly (or maybe not and i'm being optimistic again ) etc. I hope this is an introduction. See you .
Hi Vethrvolnir
Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I hope you manage to get through your appointments ok and don't get any road blocks from the Psychiatrist. We have a Strong FTM contingent on the board along with a number of non binary folks so I am sure you will find someone to click with.
Take care
Liz
:) thank you!
@Vethrvolnir Dear Vethrvolnir:Thank you for following the LINK that I gave to you in my Welcome Message yesterday (on another thread that you posted on) to come here to the Introductions Forum to tell more members here about yourself.
Now that more members know of your arrival on the Forums, you can expect more interaction with other like-minded members that you can exchange questions and comments with.
You may find that you will make some new friends here on the Forums as you get involved... but only be involved as much as you feel comfortable doing.
In my Welcome Message that I gave to you yesterday you will find important and informative LINKS that will give you the rules here on the Forums and information that will help you to safely navigate around the Forums. Please pay special attention to the LINKS in RED, answers are there that most new members will ask.Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.Best Wishes to you.
Danielle
Welcome to the forum. There are many different folk here who are willing to listen and share. You are not alone.
Best regards,
Bea
Hi Vethrvolnir :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hi thank you for welcoming me.
Great to be here.
I've accidentally come out to my employer as non female and to my colleagues as non binary , to my children as bon binary since my introduction here. My family knows. And so far everyone seems to be okay with it.
Family worries my husband will leave. But thats their main and apparently only concern. Which is wonderful. And I think that is also my own only real concern. So I think we are together in this. My partner seems okay if somewhat shy about it. I love reading about all your experience. Great to not be alone. Thanks :)