Mother's day is a day to celebrate all the mothers in the world. For some of us trans-parents there is a mental conflict going on. For me, it's quite simple. I fathered two great kids (now in their late 20's) and I've always had that role. It is a role I do not take lightly and their mother fills a different role. So for me, a simple "happy father's day" in June would be nice and heaven help them if they don't call their mother today!
One of the things my ex-wife and I discussed was this very topic. My response was/is I'm their father with female features, name, and pronouns. But, if grandbabies come along... I'm a grandma (hopefully called something like grandma-Dee) to them. Let's not confuse anyone.
How have others reconciled these most sacred but confusing days?
I have Moni's day instead of Father's day. It was my son's idea. He said Father's or Mother's day didn't quite seem right these days. Except, my son gave me a hug this morning and said, "Happy Mother's day." It made my day. My other son will stick to Moni's day I think. It's all good.
I had my second mothers day luncheon last week. I old the organizers that I was not a mother, but was told I am a female, and a parent, and that makes me for them to be a mother. OK, I understand their logic. But I told my son that I am not his mother, he has a very fine mother (my ex), and I will remain to be his father.
When he and I talk about horse power and engine stuff, we have no time any way to think about motherhood and apple pie!
We agreed that he will introduce me to others as '"my parent Dietlind" to not confuse those who don't know me!
Quote from: Denise on May 12, 2019, 11:32:54 AM
Mother's day is a day to celebrate all the mothers in the world. For some of us trans-parents there is a mental conflict going on. For me, it's quite simple. I fathered two great kids (now in their late 20's) and I've always had that role. It is a role I do not take lightly and their mother fills a different role. So for me, a simple "happy father's day" in June would be nice and heaven help them if they don't call their mother today!
One of the things my ex-wife and I discussed was this very topic. My response was/is I'm their father with female features, name, and pronouns. But, if grandbabies come along... I'm a grandma (hopefully called something like grandma-Dee) to them. Let's not confuse anyone.
How have others reconciled these most sacred but confusing days?
Yeah, dads get the short shrift or whatever they call it. Chris Rock does a bit on it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
My children have one mother and one father and it does not matter who is what gender. I Fathered these children and my wife gave birth to them so our lived experience is different. I am their father and promised them before I transitioned that I would always be their Dad/Father I absolutely understand why some would prefer the use of mother for their situations and I think that "each to their own" is appropriate.
I am one of the many female fathers in this world and this idea is becoming more acceptable as same sex marriage becomes more commonplace.
I have Father's Day for my daughters to celebrate the role I play in their lives as my gender is irrelevant...
I think as long s we celebrate and give thanks to those who raised us where appropriate then it doesn't matter what gender the person is who fulfilled the role.
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Seems like a silly holiday to me. But Being a mama is f***ing incredible.
My kids declared that since they have a Mum and I'm Dad and not Dad they will call me auntie... which works fine for me.
When I came out to my kid, I told them, "you are the only person in this world that can refer to me in a female way. I view 'Mom' as a title that I earned." Even my grandkids call me Grampy.
To my kid, I will always be Mom. [emoji846]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
At my son's wedding after party today, my son introduced my as his Mom to someone. I was in heaven.
Moni
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 13, 2019, 04:49:37 PM
At my son's wedding after party today, my son introduced my as his Mom to someone. I was in heaven.
Moni
That would be my heaven also....
Allie
My son is getting married this summer. The future Mrs, at my request, calls me Denise or Dee as does my daughter's boyfriend. BUT I'm hoping all the changes when/if grandbabies come. At that point, I would like to change to be Gramma Dee.
Quote from: Denise on May 26, 2019, 01:28:02 PM
My son is getting married this summer. The future Mrs, at my request, calls me Denise or Dee as does my daughter's boyfriend. BUT I'm hoping all the changes when/if grandbabies come. At that point, I would like to change to be Gramma Dee.
My son will get married end of June. The future Mrs. tries to avoid it like the plague to call me anything! In fact, she tries to avoid most any communication with me (but my ex is not getting a much better treatment by her either)
Guys get the short end when it comes to parents day. Just my observation. I don't want to be fêted either way.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro